2025 Round: Quotes

[hwarium]

Status: Open Prompting is currently open. Prompting is open from 28 December 2024 to 19 January 2025. Seventeen Holidays 2025 Round: Quotes About "the poem begins not where the knife enters, but where the blade twists" "beauty is terror" "you'll just have to taste me, when he's kissing you" Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy a hit tweet. 🛑 HOLD UP If this is your first time on 17hols please check out our About Page which has helpful information about dreamwidth and HTML. We are a prompting fest where all the action happens in the comment section. Rules Sign up is not required. Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too! There is no maximum cap. Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest). NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview. How it works Prompting Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post; Change the subject; Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want! Need ideas? Check out our 2021 and 2022 Quote rounds. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Do Not Wants:</strong> None <strong>Prompt:</strong> <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote> Filling Reply to the original prompt; You must change the subject to [FILL] - this is to help the mods track. Feel free to add a title Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text. You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** Remixing Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above; Change the subject to [REMIX]. Art/media Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.) Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it! Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead. (To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want) <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a> Note! On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it. Navigation ABOUT FAQ TWITTER BAITS ✧ 2025 ROUND: QUOTES ✧ 2025 FILLS MASTERLIST ARCHIVE: 2021 ARCHIVE: 2022 ARCHIVE: 2023 NOTION DATABASE

Comments

[kumquat]

Ship/Member: any but consider wonhui, junshua, gyuhao, verhao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: crack or crack treated seriously, china, explorations of diaspora/home/belonging
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:



tweet by yidashengli

girlsvt

[kumquat]

Ship/Member: any but consider jeongcheol, soonwoo, verkwan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: rule 63, yuri beam, losing passion for your craft and rediscovering it through another person
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

At first, she was nothing but an annoyance. Because when I'm with her, I remember that there are things I care about, things I find important, and more than that, she makes me feel.

Not just happy feelings, so we're clear. She's made me feel sad, too. And even like I'm empty inside.

But, she's drawn me a future, a future we can share. And I don't want to let her go.

Akashi, Still Sick

[kumquat]

Ship/Member: any but consider jeonghan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: the end of the world (real or metaphorical)
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Out in the park, we watch the sunset
Talkin' on a rusty swing set
After a while, you went quiet
And I got mean
I'm always pushin' you away from me
But you come back with gravity
And when I call, you come home
A bird in your teeth

So I gotta go
I know, I know, I know
When the sirens sound,
You'll hide under the floor
But I'm not gonna go down
With my hometown in a tornado
I'm gonna chase it
I know, I know, I know

Phoebe Bridgers, I Know the End

[kumquat]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: memory, devotion, or the failure thereof
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

The life of the body is a nightmare. This is my hand
over his face, which isn’t his face anymore, revising.
I made a shape of the shape he made, subtracted
what he shared with anyone else. There wasn’t
much left but it felt like him, wild and scared.
It was too much to bear. I put down the brush and
looked around my hands. I turned off the headlights of
my looking and let the animal get away.

Richard Siken, "Portrait of Fryderyk in Shifting Light" in Crush

Newbies

[seraphica]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: non-idol AU of some type preferred.
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

You need to keep telling newbies that "they suck", over and over again!

Yaku Morisuke in 'Haikyuu!!' (Furudate Haruichi)

Run for our lives

[seraphica]

Ship/Member: Any, Seokmin & Mingyu?
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Comedic danger
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Pumbaa: Shall we run for our lives?
Timon: Oh, yes, let's.
Both: AAAAAH!!!! (both scream and run)

Lion King 1½

Time

[seraphica]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: Reincarnation
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

We'll transcend time to live again. Perhaps this time we'll find happiness.

Princess Serenity in Sailor Moon (Naoko Takeuchi)

borrowing

[infrequencies]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

“Don’t go,” he whispered in her ear.
Lina reached around for him, letting him curl around her.
“It won’t be me who leaves,” she said.
- from "To Make a Man", Januaries by Olivie Blake

-

But the truth I learned here is, you had to leave because you're you. And the reason I liked you is because you're you. And who you are is someone who leaves.
- Haesung, Past Lives

[FILL] borrowing

[keenvision]

Ship/Member: Joshua/Mingyu
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: joshua-typical avoidance strategies, mingyu-typical worship, implied sexual content, situationship? relationship? who could say? certainly not these two
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Mingyu’s third alarm begins to chime, and he turns it off with a yawn, rolling over onto his stomach. The clock blinking on his nightstand says it’s a quarter-to-two in the morning. Despite the early hour, the bedroom is dimly lit by the soft glow of the adjoining bathroom light.

Joshua Hong is the only person Mingyu knows who puts on a full face of makeup before traveling. Even in times like this, when he has to catch a flight before the sun rises, he’ll never forgo any step in his routine. Now that Mingyu’s awake, he can watch as Joshua carefully applies concealer under his eyes. The simple action is meditative, hypnotic, easier to focus on than any image Minghao has ever tried to describe to him.

At the beginning of all of this, Joshua would just slip away, leaving Mingyu to wake up alone in a cold bed. Now, they have a routine. Joshua still leaves, but Mingyu gets to say goodbye. It’s better that way.

Joshua still hasn’t acknowledged that Mingyu’s awake. He’s noticed, of course – Mingyu can tell from the way he angles himself as he swaps which necklace he’s wearing, giving Mingyu an unobstructed view of the lines of his body. But he hasn’t said anything yet. Probably because he knows Mingyu is waiting for it.

Maybe that’s why the next words spill out, unbidden, his voice still rough from sleep. “Seungkwan-ah thinks I can do better.”

“I don’t disagree,” Joshua responds easily. His voice is always so clear in mornings like this, so light. When he’s had the time to pull on his armor, piece by piece. Like a flash, Mingyu thinks of Joshua over him last night, how his voice had cracked when he said Mingyu’s name. None of that Joshua is here – or, more accurately, all of that Joshua is hidden, bubbling steadily below the surface. “Is this how you’re breaking up with me?”

“Hyuuuung,” Mingyu whines, hugging the pillow under his head. “Of course not. That would be so mean.”

“I could take it.” Joshua turns to him, finally, glossed lips curling into a smirk. “You couldn’t, though. Big baby.”

It’s embarrassing, but Mingyu can’t help smiling, even when he’s being mocked. It’s something about Joshua’s tone, something Mingyu can’t put into words, no matter how much he’s tried. This is what his affection sounds like. Mingyu can hear it, even if others can’t.

Joshua checks himself over in the mirror, then emerges from the bathroom, flicking on the bedroom lamp. Mingyu squints against it, blinking his eyes to get used to the light as Joshua drags his suitcase towards the door. “What did you tell Seungkwan-ah, then?”

“I told him I didn’t want better. That I’m happiest with you.”

“Ugh. Cheesy.”

Mingyu laughs, sitting up. “That’s exactly what Seungkwan said. And he wrinkled his nose just like that, too.”

Joshua turns his scrunched-up nose back to Mingyu, shaking his head. “He’s smart, and he’s looking out for you. You should listen to him.”

Mingyu shrugs. It’s true, that Mingyu could probably find someone easier to love, easier to be around – someone who would stay. He can never argue against that, whoever brings it up. But Mingyu isn’t the type to leave. He’s considered it before, more than once, but it’s just not his style. He loves Joshua, and despite what others might think, he likes loving Joshua. It’s hard, but it isn’t horrible. Isn’t that enough?

Instead of saying any of that, Mingyu just leans forward, widens his eyes a little. Joshua isn’t the only one who can pull on a face at a moment’s notice. “Can I kiss you before you go?”

“You haven’t brushed your teeth yet.”

“Just one kiss. Super fast.”

Mingyu watches Joshua hesitate. Watches him tilt his head to one side, watches him pretend to think about it. “Fine,” he says with a sigh, “but make it fast. My taxi is downstairs.”

It only takes a couple strides to cross the room, cup Joshua’s cheeks in his hands. “Is it, really?” he asks, before dropping a kiss to his temple.

Joshua curls his fist in Mingyu’s sleep shirt and drags him in, mouth soft and open against his. No matter. The heat under Mingyu’s fingers is more than enough for an answer.

[slytherminie]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: the concept of home as a place in the world where you don't fully belong
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

When really, the familiar had already turned alien, and home had ceased being home. Both have gone on living and changing without me.

- Tomasz Jedrowski, Swimming in the dark

Touraine was starting to think it was impossible to come from one land and learn to live in another and feel whole. That you would always stand on shaky, hole-ridden ground, half of your identity dug out of you and tossed away.

- C.L. Clark, The Unbroken

opposite loves

[slytherminie]

Ship/Member: Any but consider jeongcheol :)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: mismatched love, unrequited love
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Because you were right when you said that people can’t always give us what we want from them; that you can’t ask them to love you the way you want.

- Tomasz Jedrowski, Swimming in the dark

“Are you angry that I don’t love as you do?”

- Tasha Shuri, The Oleander Sword

[FILL] you believe me like a god

[infrequencies]

Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Joshua; Joshua/Seokmin
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Challengers, but make it musicians; infidelity; wrong person, always the wrong time; implied sexual content
Permission to remix: Yes

***

“Seokmin asked me,” Joshua says. The coffee in the mug has cooled, but his hands still need something to do. When he looks at Jeonghan, his palms itch. “Last night. Do you want to see the ring?”

Jeonghan’s eyes flicker from his face to his left hand curled around the front of the mug. It’s a simple white gold band with inset diamonds. Vintage, 14 karat gold. Kind of ugly if he’s being honest, but in the moment, Seokmin had been overwrought with the kind of grief that made him look like a single breeze would blow him away.

Joshua is a hurricane.

“It’s nice.” The lie comes to Jeonghan easily. It always has.

“Are you staying in this hotel?”

His dark hair sways as shakes his head no. “I’m in an Airbnb a little further down.”

Joshua sips his coffee. It tastes sour. Jeonghan’s cologne smells like vanilla and citrus, like summer 2017, when they woke up next to each other in a Coachella tent smelling like weed and sex. Jeonghan’s neck littered in a bouquet of hickeys. How they'd fucked the way they'd fought once in a studio: no blood drawn but close.

He shivers. Jeonghan cocks a brow.

“You’re not playing tomorrow.”

It isn't a question. Joshua looked the schedule over and over. Seokmin will be on the grounds all day, and Joshua has no reason to be there.

“I’m not.”

“Show me your Airbnb.”

“Just like that?” Jeonghan’s brows shoot to his hairline. “I don't know if I want you if you're gonna make it that easy for me.”

“You always want me,” Joshua murmurs.

Jeonghan’s foot nudges against his knee. “Always have.”

---

“So.”

The man leaned up against the wall is lean and mostly made of leg. Long, thin legs that are an almost comical contrast to the thighs on his friend that’s been trailing behind him all night.

Joshua, of course, knows who Yoon Jeonghan is. Most people do. His father founded one of the largest tech startups in Korea, which funds his half-baked career. The label of nepo baby doesn’t tarnish his shine, at least not when using it to promote hot young talent.

He throws the other man a sidelong glance. Seokmin, maybe? He gives Seokmin an appraising once over that Jeonghan seems to bristle at, but his painted-on smile only becomes more saccharine.

“I’ve never been here before,” Joshua gestures to the room, but he means the building. The city. The country. Korea has always felt so distant, and being here is surreal. “But is it typical to start a conversation with ‘so’, or are you skipping formality because I’m American?”

His Korean feels elementary, and stilted, and overly practiced through conversations with his mother, where she’d pursed her lips and corrected pronunciation every other word. In this room, he’s a big Western star given the opportunity to mingle. The work that his brain has been doing all night is exhausting.

“You sound like a child,” Jeonghan says under his breath, though Joshua knows he’s meant to hear it. Thankful for his grown out hair, he feels the tips of his ears turn pink.


---


A beaten up sedan idles at the porte-cochère with the hazards flicker-flashing like a metronome or a timebomb, counting down the seconds to an undoing. Three in the morning is a liminal space and the dream-like glow of the hotel lobby at this time of night makes the walk from the elevator feel unreal.

Joshua can still feel that bottle of Barolo from dinner. Celebrating Seokmin’s triumphant return to the stage after they’d thought he’d never get back on his feet. The spotlight encircles him and he shines when he takes center stage, but the fear in his eyes had cut the performance short. It was a small engagement. Midday, supporting a new artist. Seokmin had nearly shaken out of his skin before striding off stage with a mumbled apology.

The top half of his body feels detached from the rest of him as he moves past the front desk without so much as a nod, and the idling vehicle flashes its headlights. Joshua pushes out of the hotel and into the late August air. He reaches inside of the open passenger window with practiced ease, fingers hooking around the door handle and flicking towards the driver with an impatient kind of flourish that startles the exhausted valet who is watching them both with wary eyes.

“Uber drivers these days,” Joshua says, flashing his best and brightest smile as he ducks into the cramped passenger seat, but the valet's attention has already shifted.

“Uber driver?” Jeonghan’s sleepy drawl is steeped in incredulity. The insult lands where it’s meant to; his shitty beater of a car is a sore spot. “I'm doing you a favor here and you're being an—”

“Don't start.”

The car crawls into motion, departing the hotel overhang for who knows where. Anywhere but here. Here, at this hotel, everything is heavy. Seokmin wanted an ultimatum from him tonight, and Joshua feels the weight of it on his shoulders. He can still taste Seokmin on his soft palette. His cologne sticks to the shirt he’d swiped off the hotel floor.

Jeonghan touches Joshua's hand resting on the center console. Typically, the advance would be dodged, but after the night he's had, doesn't everyone deserve a change in pace?

“Just drive.”

He does.

---

“You’re so full of shit.”

Jeonghan is fumbling around in the dark for something on the car floor. The seats smell stale, like sweat-caked clothes and cigarette smoke, even with the windows cracked and the kiss of summer air breezing through the car.

Joshua shivers. His back aches from being folded against the door, and his hips pop as his legs unpretzel.

“Romantic,” he snipes in return, unearthing the dented pack of cigarettes from where they'd been squished into the crevices of the seat. Jeonghan snatches them from his hands. “I'm not asking for much.”

“You shouldn't ask me for anything at all.” He’s slid his pants back on, one leg slung over the back of the seat. “Seokmin would kill me if he knew.”

“Which is why I’m not telling you to tell him.”

“Does he know?”

Joshua hikes himself back upright, crossing his legs over Jeonghan’s folded one, toes dug into the inside of his inner thigh.

“Does he need to?”

Jeonghan looks down at his foot, then back up into Joshua’s eyes, inquisitive. There’s another question behind what he’s actually asking. One of his many real talents, being able to side-step the heart of something but still manage to strike the way he needs to.

Once, Jeonghan had called him a snake.

Who’s biting who?

---

Joshua is typically much more methodical than this.

The cracks in the wall have become more prominent, and the only two people who have been successful at breaking them down are staring at him in askance. He should’ve been more careful.

After tonight, someone will leave. He just doesn’t know which one will go.

“I’m not a homewrecker,” he’d said firmly, many times over. His arms around Jeonghan’s neck. Seokmin’s head in his lap. “I don’t break up families. I’m not going to come between you two.”

Those same words ring through Joshua’s mind now in this godforsaken hotel room, echoing off the high ceilings and bouncing between them three.

Aren't you, though? he asks himself, crossing and uncrossing his legs in the doorway, fingers looped in the bathrobe tie. Showering hadn’t done anything about the exhaustion and the guilt and shame. Of course absolution won’t come in a hotel bathroom, but it was worth a shot, wasn’t it?

When the festival set had ended, Seokmin hadn’t been able to look at him, and Jeonghan hadn’t been able to look away.

Now, Seokmin shifts his stance in the doorway of the conjoining rooms. His gaze shifts from Joshua to Jeonghan, who looks all too comfortable sprawled across the bed. His thin legs are spread, shirt riding up past his belly button. Joshua doesn’t have to follow Seokmin's gaze to know.

After all, he was the one that destabilized a happy home.

“You don’t have to fight me for Shua’s honor, Seokseok-ah,” Jeonghan says soothingly. As far as Joshua knows, they haven’t spoken in nearly 6 years before today, but the way Seokmin reacts to the statement is sobering. “The whole thing was his idea.”

Seokmin still doesn’t look his way, but strides forward until he’s at the foot of the bed in front of Jeonghan. The set of his jaw is concerning, but the words catch in Joshua’s throat. What do you say to the person you’d promised to love for the rest of your life when—

“Did you know?” Seokmin asks. The soft voice he’d used for most of their relationship is replaced with something colder, like the day they’d fought about Jeonghan. The day they’d ended their engagement and Joshua had briefly moved back to the States. The day that everything had shifted.

“I knew you could do it,” Joshua says, quiet, eyes closed. “You needed to get back out there. With or without me.”

Jeonghan’s eyes flick over to meet his, and the corner of his lips quirk, already knowing. It’s the thing that’s infuriated him so much through their short-lived relationship. What do you know about me? he’d wanted to scream in his face back then, and even now. To dig his fingernails into his skin and peel back that smug veneer to reveal the insecurity underneath.

After all, Yoon Jeonghan’s biggest problem had always been that things were always handed to him, from his shiny stint as a DJ that spurned a record deal to the proposition that had drawn him into this very hotel room.

Yoon Jeonghan gets by on coasting and hates when he has to work for something. He’s spoiled in many ways, and Joshua had always respected Seokmin for holding things back.

His boys, the DJ and the pop star, one catapulted off the back of his own failures, and the other left to crash and burn all on his own.

“I wish you hadn’t lied to me,” Seokmin says, breaking the silence. He genuflects, hands on Jeonghan’s thighs before his knees touch the floor. “Both of you. I trust both of you more than anyone.”

(Last night washes over him as their mouths meet.

“What am I,” Joshua had said, half-joking, hands stilled over his aching knee, thumbs tracing over the scar. Seokmin had followed his thumbs with his lips, as if asking for forgiveness. “Am I Jesus? Am I God?”

“Yes,” Seokmin had said, breathless, wet mouth against Joshua’s thigh. “You are.”)

Jeonghan curls a hand in Seokmin’s hair. The scene is tender, unlike any way he’s ever seen them. When Joshua was all too happy to string them along, they’d been competitive. At each other’s throats like two starved dogs, begging for a scrap of external affection.

Now, here they are, giving each other the tenderness that they’d only before given Joshua. The kind of worship that he'd been given before the pedestal began to crumble.

It isn’t the first time he’s been locked out of the world that he’d wanted to be in.

[slytherminie]

Ship/Member: Any but consider jihan or any jeonghan ship
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: would love some war-like setting
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

There were always words, words under words, with Malini. Malini never lied. But her truths were deep waters.

- Tasha Shuri, The Oleander Sword+

To be soft, for me, is so often pretense, and pretense does not come easily while writing to you.

- Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone, This is How You Lose the Time War

[lachrymosy]

Ship/Member: Any but consider wonhui, gyuhao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see

– "Set The Fire To The Third Bar," Snow Patrol ft. Martha Wainwright

[lachrymosy]

Ship/Member: Mingyu/any girl group member
Major Tags: Canon universe
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Everyone wants him, that was my crime
The wrong place at the right time

– Taylor Swift, "Slut!"

[lachrymosy]

Ship/Member: Jeonghan/any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: I always love canon universe but doesn't have to be that!
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

This is not a love song
I'm just checking that your light's still on

– Snow Patrol, "All"

"I thought I'd finally got rid of you."
"I don't think you can."

– One Day by David Nicholls

[FILL] this is not a love song

[hyojungss]

Ship/Member: Im Nayoung/Jeonghan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: canon compliant
Permission to remix: Yes

***

“Well, I want advice,” Mingyu whined. It was two hours to soundcheck sometime in the middle of a tour, which was usually around when Soonyoung started forgetting which city they were in. Better him than the rest of them, really. “Isn’t that what members are for? Listening to me in my time of need?” He collapsed into the waiting room couch.

“They’re for telling you to work harder instead of lying around,” Seungcheol shot back lightly, but he was getting pulled away to have the medical team check on him anyway. Mingyu scowled, before he felt kinda bad about it.

“Anyone else want to tell me what to do about Chaeyeon?”

“It’s pointless to love someone who loves their career more than you,” Jeonghan said, not looking up from his phone. “If you ask me.”

Seungkwan gave Jeonghan a long, knowing look. “I already told you this, Mingyu, but you’re too susceptible to other people’s suggestions. Shouldn’t you do what you want? Do you even like her?”

“It’s complicated,” Mingyu complained. “I’m going to go make ramyun.”





Unlike Mingyu Jeonghan would never solicit public opinion on his relationship issues. In fact Seungkwan was quite literally told “It’s none of your business, but thank you,” in such a faux customer service voice that Jeonghan had to know it would infuriate him.

“Hyung, you don’t want to talk about it at all?” he pressed on the walk to the venue backstage.

“What a ridiculous question,” Jeonghan said.

Seungkwan huffed beside him, ignoring the confused look Chan was giving them. He wouldn’t ask about it later anyway. “I know you aren’t gonna bring it up first.”

“That’s because I don’t think you can help me,” Jeonghan returned.

“You look sad,” Seungkwan said.

Jeonghan stopped in his tracks then, letting the group go ahead as they fell to the back, arms crossed. “Is now really a good time to talk about this?”

“You can’t keep making excuses forever,” Seungkwan said, deliberately walking past him and leaving him alone in the dark.





There was no need to intentionally forget about Nayoung. Jeonghan blinked and five years had passed since the last time he saw her.

She looked up from the pajamas she’d been holding and they fell back into their place on the rack. “It’s you,” she said. Jeonghan had a hat and mask on — so did she — it would be pointless to pretend they didn’t recognize each other anyway.

Something tightened in his chest and he pretended it hadn’t. “What are you doing here?” he asked, quietly. It wasn’t a big shop.

“My friend is having a baby,” Nayoung responded. “I need a gift for the shower.” A moment passed as he barely acknowledged her answer on the surface. “And what about you?”

He had lost as soon as he asked the question. “I wanted to look at baby clothes,” he said.

She gazed at him. “Are you— do you?” She paused. “Just looking?”

“Yeah.” He was on his way to the picture books, next.

“We’re getting quite old,” she murmured. “Hey, since you seem to have a taste for this stuff, do you want to help me pick something out?”

“I wouldn’t give myself that much credit,” Jeonghan said. What he really wanted to say was—

Nayoung adjusted her shoulder bag. “I hate shopping, you know that. So it would help.”

“A diaper bag would be practical,” Jeonghan said. “If you’re putting yourself in your friend’s shoes.”





Nayoung walked out with 80,000 won in merchandise. Jeonghan was empty-handed.

“This is for you actually,” she said after they’d exited onto the street through the front door. She handed him the wooden dinosaur figure he’d been eyeing from the start. “You were always so obvious,” she added, despite herself.

He looked down at it. “Now I owe you,” he said.

Nayoung turned towards him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I hadn’t thought about you in a while,” Jeonghan said. It was so outwardly cruel that Nayoung would have known it was only intended to look callous, because Jeonghan couldn’t strip his feelings out of his voice no matter how hard he tried.

A black car pulled up to the curb and Nayoung opened the passenger door for herself, as he stood there watching. “I wish I could say the same,” Nayoung said. “I hope you’re well.”




A/N: omg I started listening to all because of the prompt and it's such a nice song T_T♥

anywhere but home

[keenvision]

Ship/Member: Joshua/any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: running away from the familiar, fearing feeling too much, if you want to put shua on a motorcycle i WILL not complain
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I can't sleep when I toss and turn
R-r-r-ride, get on
Without a promise of when I'll be back
Split the wind, speed it up
Hold on tightly, r-r-r-ride
Here I am a little faster

Baby, haven't you ever felt like this?
In this night I want to leave without any plans
Please take me anywhere but home

- "Anywhere But Home", Seulgi

[FILL] anywhere but home

[m1ntea]

Ship/Member: Joshua/Mingyu
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: smoking, ambiguous relationships, shua with a motorcycle, he's kind of a mess and we love him for it
Permission to remix: Yes

***

The expanse of Seoul stretches across the horizon, city lights shining against the night sky like so many earthbound constellations. It’s beautiful, but does little to quiet the swirling thoughts in Joshua’s head. At least the lookout point he’s at is empty, leaving Joshua to have his crisis in peace. Funny how he came all the way out here to get Mingyu out of his head, only to remember once he arrived that the person who originally showed him this place was Mingyu, back when they first started doing… whatever it is they’re doing.

Joshua sighs and leans back against the motorcycle he’d used to escape the heart of the city. The bike is stolen, like so many other things in Joshua’s life. Stolen opportunities, stolen moments, things he didn’t deserve but greedily took all the same. He hadn’t even bothered to grab the keys out of Mingyu’s pocket— he’d just taken the entire jacket, wrapped it around his shoulders and surrounded himself in the scent of faded cigarette smoke and expensive cologne. Mingyu will notice the jacket is missing once he wakes up. The thought brings Joshua a twisted kind of satisfaction, an assurance that Mingyu will be forced to think of him, will have no choice but to miss him.

(He’d miss him anyway. He does all the time— at least that’s what he says every time they meet up, the words mumbled against Joshua’s neck as he pulls him close. But it’s hard for Joshua to accept that someone would miss him for himself, and not for the things he either leaves behind or steals away. After all, what does he have to offer other than a defective heart that sends him running into the night when he wakes up beside someone and realizes that he might love them?)

Joshua digs out a pack of cigarettes and lights one up. The pack had already been in Mingyu’s jacket when he put it on, but they’re the brand Joshua prefers. He watches the way the smoke dissipates into the night air, and wonders what it would feel like to be able to float away.

His phone buzzes with an incoming call from Mingyu. Joshua slides his thumb across the screen, rejecting it. Not even a minute later his phone is vibrating again. Joshua takes one last drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out. He doesn’t really want to talk to Mingyu right now, but he also doesn’t actually want the cops called on him for theft. He exhales the smoke as he accepts the call.

“Hyung? Where are you?”

Mingyu’s voice crackles through the speaker, but Joshua can still clearly hear the way it’s still thick with sleep, rough around the edges and slow like honey.

“I came out for a ride.”

“A ride?” There’s a moment of confused silence that Joshua doesn’t bother to break, and then, “Ah, you took the bike?”

“Yeah.”

A rustling of sheets, like Mingyu is still in bed. Joshua frowns, pulling his lip between his teeth to worry at the chapped skin. If Mingyu is in bed, then he isn’t calling because he noticed his missing bike, or his missing jacket. He’s calling because—

“I woke up and you weren’t here.” The pout in Mingyu’s voice is clear even through the phone. “Are you coming back soon?”

Joshua tilts his head back, looking up at where the stars would be if they weren’t obscured by layers upon layers of pollution. “Maybe,” he says. His stomach feels weird, acid creeping up his throat. He doesn’t want to go back tonight. Mingyu’s familiar warmth is incendiary, and if Joshua returns to his arms he’ll just end up setting them both alight. “Probably not.”

Another beat of silence. “Alright.” More rustling sheets, then a quiet sigh. “Stay safe. Please don’t crash my bike.”

Joshua chokes on a laugh. “Don’t worry, I know how precious your bike is.”

“You’re precious, too.”

Joshua’s fingers tighten around his phone, glass and plastic digging into flesh. A thousand words flood into his mouth, but he swallows them back. The truth is a tidal wave he keeps tucked behind his teeth, the salt of it stinging his tongue. Too scared to speak and too stubborn to admit it.

“I’m hanging up,” he says instead, hating that it sounds like a plea.

“Okay. Goodnight, hyung.”

Joshua ends the call. He shoves the phone back into his pocket (Mingyu’s pocket), puts on his helmet (Mingyu’s helmet), and gets on his bike (Mingyu’s bike). When he starts up the bike, he heads toward the closest expressway that will take him south.

Maybe he’ll go all the way to fucking Busan, he doesn’t know. He’s willing to go anywhere tonight, as long as it isn’t back to Mingyu. As long as it isn’t back home.

the persistence of everything

[poppyseedheart]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: when loving your passion can't stop you from wishing you could walk away from it
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Yesterday I dreamed I was fixing an elevator.
It only went up—
forever and ever, but I grew tired of its constant optimism.
The persistence of everything,
sometimes it kills me.

-summertime by Noor Hindi

[FILL] it goes on

[infrequencies]

Ship/Member: Seungcheol-centric, implied Jeongcheol
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Canon Divergent
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Seungcheol can count the number of times he's seen Jeonghan cry on one hand. Seungcheol’s a sympathy crier, so it sets him off, too, which makes Jeonghan feel worse.

“You're the eldest,” he sniffs, accusatory, head resting on Seungcheol’s tear-stained shoulder. Never mind how the tears got there, only that Seungcheol’s own joins Jeonghan’s on the cotton. “You're supposed to hold your head high. Be a man.”

He doesn’t let the words stand longer than they need to. Jeonghan reaches for his hand under the table and squeezes.

The truth is that he's relieved for the end, and feels guilty about wishing for it, wanting it. About how standing on stage with thousands of eyes on him made him feel microscopic and his legs had felt like gelatin after tour. The scrutiny. The orange bottle on his nightstand and the scraping and scrounging and fighting and praying and begging.

When five members announce that they won't be re-signing with the company, Seungcheol gets visions of the life he could go back to. His education is a few semesters shy of a degree. Most of his debt has been paid. His parents have bought a home further out of the city, where the sky is bigger. His grandmother is still mobile and there's only so much time left for her to borrow.

“We’ll stay together even when we're apart?” Seokmin asks, after they toast to an uncertain future. His eyes are on Seungcheol, like he's asking for forgiveness for clinging on. Every person in this room, it was their youth, too. Both Seokmin and Mingyu had re-signed early on. Soonyoung and Seungkwan, as well, both givens.

If Carats can't have Seventeen, they could at least have BooSeokSoon, right?

“Of course,” Seungcheol says, spinning an empty bottle on the table. He watches the red lid point in different directions. He catches Seokmin’s unwavering gaze on the way back up. “We’ll always be a family.”

In the end, what’s left of Seventeen disperses. The members who’d left and the members who’d stayed, their lives would always be woven together. Seungcheol sends housewarming gifts and carefully selects things on baby registries. He’s waved to enough phone screens and cried at enough weddings and stage plays and award shows over the years that rush by him in a blur.

He gets an email from the company about their upcoming ten-year anniversary, and feels the kind of ache that he’d come to associate with hearing a guide track from Jihoon. And, always on time, an old recording of an unreleased song shows up in the quieted Seventeen group chat.

His notifications explode.

we should re-record this!

uji-ya can you get us studio time??

wah.. do u think carats would be interested

seokminnie can u sing this at my noona’s wedding

i thought i was going to be singing at your noona’s wedding!! u punk

Seungcheol moved home, after, back with his parents. Still single, still wearing a team ring on his finger. A girlfriend and a boyfriend each had come and gone, but he hadn’t felt anchored to them enough to stop wearing them. The members had agreed on one more before they’d formally disbanded, and Seungcheol keeps his close.

The sky looks a little less endless with possibility, and more like a sky. But even an empty sky can be a beautiful thing.

Every so often, the jobs come calling. Hosting, acting, guest judging. Seungcheol still likes to travel, but he marvels at the sights he gets to see when the work stays close to home. The fans still stop him in the street, but less and less now.

It’s a quiet life that he loves.

He’s the softest that he’s been since debuting, a fact that he laments when Jeonghan comes to poke and prod at him in between filming. He’s doing a show with Jaejoong—”top secret news, Cheolie, you know how it is”—and trekking back and forth from Europe, Japan, and Seoul.

“It suits you,” Jeonghan says, insistent enough that Seungcheol knows he’s being honest. “You look like you’ve been sleeping better, too.”

Jeonghan’s hair is longer now, almost as long as it was at debut. An ash blond that compliments his coloring. The last time Seungcheol had seen Jeonghan in person for longer than a handful of hours was when they’d received their diplomas, nearly three years ago.

“Besides,” he says, knocking their shoulders together. “We’re both out of practice, Coups-yah.”

Jeonghan tucks his bangs behind his ears, and they immediately float back forward to frame his face. He’s in casual hanbok, some set that Seungcheol had gifted him after his military service. His Seventeen ring glints from a necklace around his neck.

“Me more than you,” Seungcheol laments. Somehow, his mother had managed to get them to dance for her. Seungcheol knows he will remember the choreography for “Aju Nice” until he dies. The muscles remember the moves, but he’d forgotten how hard it is to move his body that way.

His downstairs neighbors probably despise him right now.

Jeonghan laughs, a hand touching the small of his back. Seungcheol goes still at the contact. He always makes it look so easy, but it’s always been like this. Careful, hidden. Back then, it was a weight but now, it’s a thrilling development. A sparkling silver lining on the clear horizon.

“Haven’t you missed me?” he asks, pointed, taking a step closer. Of course Seungcheol has missed him. Missed being this close. After all, Seungcheol is no longer in charge. Not that Jeonghan has ever relinquished control.

Seungcheol touches the pad of his thumb to the ring on his pinky. “Of course I do.”

the aftermath

[poppyseedheart]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: character(s) dealing with what comes after loss/love/change
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.

-Rainer Marie Rilke, Rilke's Book of Hours

miss u too

[poppyseedheart]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: friend breakups in the 21st century
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Don't delete the data. I like dreaming of our information
still floating & holding hands while we both sleep.
Any algorithm of delusion is better than weeping.
Emojis make me reimagine grief, its tiny picture.
How else do I tweet that I miss you.

-Ode to my phone, who thinks all my friendships never end by Samantha Fain

+

the worst part of love is
that I remember it.

I walk around all day thinking:
I'm going to die in the universe you loved me in.

I get so jealous of euthanized dogs.

i love you, it looks like rain by June Gehringer

[FILL] with sails unfurled

[firstresponders]

Ship/Member: Joshua & Jeonghan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: non-famous AU, childhood friends to strangers, jihan as int'l relations students, friendship breakup
Permission to remix: Please ask

***

A scuff on the knee. A basketball to the face. The sweltering heat of Seoul in summer, and how it made the court behind their house more rubbery than usual.

"You're so clumsy, Shuji." Jeonghan stretched a hand. Joshua's lying on the court and he's laughing. He took Jeonghan's hand and rose up to chase him again. At least he dribbled correctly. He passed to Jeonghan, who got them an easy three-point.

Trips down the neighborhood. Shapes made from clouds, drifting above the public garden that Joshua used to water every Sunday on his way back from church. Tongues stained red and blue with syrup and ice.

Jeonghan had been his first friend when he moved from Los Angeles to Seoul at the age of 12. For how little he cared about the English language, he cared a lot for Joshua. Mrs. Yoon made him do all his homeworks in exchange for more playtime at Joshua's place — a challenge he took on readily. He was the one who taught Joshua his way around the street market at the center of their district, how to trick his way to extra treats from the bungeoppang lady, which swear words work for which shitty occasion of the day.

By the second semester of 7th grade, they had been inseparable. Jeonghan and Joshua. Joshua and Jeonghan. Their friends are each other's friends, their routines each other's routines; a life so enmeshed, their homeroom teacher in 8th grade used to joke that they're one head in two bodies.

They did find ways to have their own lives: Jeonghan with basketball, and Joshua with the arts & crafts club. But Joshua came out in the afternoon with matching bead bracelets, and Jeonghan took Joshua out for noodles after winning a match against their neighboring school. They joined the choir together in high school, tripping over tricky passagios and laughing at each other in their silly, shiny robes.

A new start, an old friend. They never failed to save a seat for each other in college. Even amidst their different activities, with Joshua flourishing in campus events and Jeonghan with debate and Model UN and all the paper competitions he swept with ease, they still had lunch together, stayed in the same dorms, held onto each other in pursuit of their dreams: Jeonghan who saw the diplomat dream inching closer, and Joshua who reconciled his many interests into a single aspiration of being happy.

A slow decay. A gradual fade. The sweep of reality. Cold breeze from the sea that seeps into your bones.

Jeonghan goes to foreign service, the same dream Joshua celebrated him for at their last few semesters in university. Joshua is the sun that shines behind him, so he goes for humbler pursuits in a startup company. Jeonghan finds other ways to shine. Joshua doesn't question the chats left unreplied and the Instagram DMs left on read, despite knowing how much more active Jeonghan is on the internet compared to him.

He's busy. Jeonghan has always been the wanderer between them. There's no such thing as too much grace for a best friend. He's just busy.

New faces, new places, new routines. As Jeonghan fades away from sight, Joshua is embarrassingly slow to realize how he, too, have faded from Jeonghan's mind.

It was the first time staying away from his phone had worked against his favor, because he wouldn't have known things weren't fine had he not found his private Twitter account being short of one mutual.

Joshua doesn't want it to be the person his mind thought of.

Against his best interests, he checks the account.

It's locked.

He lingers on Jeonghan's contact in his Whatsapp. Should he say something? What's he supposed to say, hey I noticed you've removed me from your account and I did notice you haven't been responding to me lately and I was hoping you'd tell me why.

That would assume Jeonghan still thinks he's worth an explanation.

He tries, for science.

> hi there. first of all sorry for contacting out of the blue, i hope you've been well. i noticed we're not mutuals on twitter anymore and i was wondering if i did something that upset you. if yes i hope i could make things right with you. i miss you.

He throws his phone under the pillow. The next few days he goes out, he leaves it in his drawer. He archives the chat with Jeonghan and avoids it like the plague.

When he finally gets a notification, it's dread that fills him instead.

> hi there
> i'd like that account to be for my closest friends only
> it's not you i promise
> sorry

It's not you, I promise.

But what is it about Joshua that made Jeonghan decide to no longer include him in that 'closest friends' category?

> oh, okay. sorry i asked a weird question then.
> how are you?

Everything stops there. There's no more notification coming into his archive, not even when Joshua deletes the chat.

As if it couldn't be more humiliating, it took him months after muting Jeonghan on Instagram to find out that the other guy had stopped caring while he was still fumbling with his footing.

He only found out Jeonghan had unfollowed him when he decides to give himself closure with one last message on New Year's.

> hi there. happy new year, i'd like to apologize for whatever i did wrong before. even if we're not friends anymore, i still wish you well. thanks for the memories

Joshua finds a reply after a week.

> hi, happy new year too

Ten years of memories, cast away as easy as leaves. Like they weren't one head in two bodies. Like their names hadn't coexisted in everyone's minds, their shadows passing the old hallways as one instead of two.

What's Joshua supposed to do when he lost someone who's still alive and breathing?

.
.
.

Months have passed since then. But whenever he passes the places he used to visit with Jeonghan, the shadows behind the glass turn into them. He looks away. He can't handle the questions if he comes there alone. Where's your best friend? You know, the one you often come here with. There's no answer he could give that wouldn't lead to more questions.

There's no Vogue articles on how to help someone go through friendship breakups or bereave a friendship that ended. There's no such thing. It doesn't exist. A friendship breakup means someone fucked up, and that means Joshua is stuck with his broken self, because everyone would believe him more if he said he lost a boyfriend or a parent or even a pet. Not a friend. You're not supposed to lose a friend, apparently.

It keeps him curling on his mattress and screaming under the shower.

There's an inadvertent shame attached to losing a friend. It's something that society decides only happens because of a character flaw. A fatal stain. Not from circumstances, not from one party deciding it needs to end. There's no closure, and everyone thinks you're silly for wanting one, because when it goes down the drain it can only be your fault.

Childhood friends are supposed to be infallible. They're the home you return to after warring against adulthood. They're meant to withstand long distance and arguments and shifting interests and multiple breakups and bad jobs. Who doesn't have a friend to reminisce summer ice creams and snowball fights with? Whose problem is it if they don't have one, anymore?

That would make him an incredibly flawed, faulted, shameful excuse of a human being, Joshua concludes. An imaginary anger geysers from a pit beneath his chest, like the hole in a smoker's throat. Smoke. Sometimes Joshua wishes Jeonghan would choke over all his cigarettes. Maybe he'd always been too wimpy for that guy's daredevilry and that's why he's being left behind. The thousand reasons in his mind all boil down to you're not needed anymore.

The night has filled the windows when he comes out of the shower. Somewhere in the buildings, Jeonghan must be having a fancy gala dinner. Or maybe he's on the plane to his next diplomatic assignment, where his face would appear on international news channels with their old classmates praising him and make Joshua taste cough syrup in his mouth.

I hope you're happy, he would say. You didn't answer last time I asked you how you're doing, so I don't know if I want you to sleep well or if I want you to crash into the sea.

He sits in the living room with the memories that spilled from his guts, their noises loud as they roll onto the floor. They're pebbles to Jeonghan, but still boulders to Joshua. He doesn't know how to carry them alone. He has tried leaving them where they came from. They keep coming back.

No one has to know how Joshua's nightmares come narrated in Jeonghan's voice.

mirror, mirror

[infrequencies]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

soulmate (derogatory)

#soulmateism is obsession. hope that helps #by definition and based on all the laws of hunger™ and survival™ #any two ppl who feel a soul deep completeness with each other (and only each other) will become codependent #and will go to unspeakable ends to become one. hope that helps as well (source)

point nemo

[m1ntea]

Ship/Member: Any - maybe Minghao? Jihoon? Vernon?
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

The sky turns red at sunset
Day patiently awaits nightfall
And even if I'm reborn, I'll end up here again at Point Nemo
Drifting away from the person I was then, with you by my side
I want to tell you, I loved you

-Younha, Point Nemo
_{Point Nemo is the point in the ocean that is farthest from any land. It is also the location of the "spacecraft cemetery", where spacecraft are often crashed after they reach the end of their usefulness. (source)}

no touching (nsfw prompt)

[keenvision]

Ship/Member: any, but do think about gyuhan, gyuboo, solboo, jihancheol or any pair within...
Major Tags: N/A, but NSFW prompt
Additional Tags: codependency, the worst situationship, being kind of horrible and getting everything you want anyway
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I would like to ruin your life
let it not be said I lack the necessary
imagination to be jealous
I would ask you to tell no-one about us
and if you tell no-one about us
I’ll fight hard to hide my disappointment
I would like you to renounce your past
as quite a big mistake
it will mean something although I
will never completely forgive you
I think you represent
the possibility in my life of renewal
I would like people to say
“she came back a different person”
we will appear at the weddings
of people we don’t care about
our faces radiant from fucking

-- 'No Touching' by Sam Riviere

Re: no touching (nsfw prompt)

[cheapdates]

Ship/Member: Mingyu/Jeonghan
Major Tags: toxic relationships
Additional Tags: all mingyu does is suffer
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Jeonghan smells like cigarette smoke and expensive cologne when he leans into Mingyu’s space at the rooftop party, his breath warm against Mingyu’s ear as he murmurs, “You could’ve dressed up a little.”

Mingyu glances down at himself, at the shirt he’d spent too long ironing, the blazer he’d debated over for twenty minutes in front of the mirror. He’d thought he looked good, but now, under Jeonghan’s disapproving gaze, his confidence crumbles. He feels like he’s a child playing dress-up in clothes that don’t quite fit.

When he forces himself to look up, Jeonghan is smiling that sharp, satisfied smile, the one that always makes him feel like he’s missed a punchline.

Mingyu doesn’t understand why he does it. Why he keeps coming back to this. He’s smart enough to know better, old enough to know that someone who gets off on seeing him squirm is never going to make him truly happy. But logic has never had much sway where Jeonghan is concerned, and so here he is again, with a glass of watered-down whiskey in his hand, orbiting him like a moth to flame.

“You’re boring tonight,” Jeonghan drawls, plucking the drink from Mingyu’s hand and taking a sip. He grimaces as if it's the worst thing he’s ever tasted. “Why did I even invite you?”

“You didn’t,” Mingyu replies, and it’s true. He came because Jeonghan mentioned it offhandedly last weekend. ‘If you really care, you’ll show up,’ he’d said, his nails scratching down Mingyu’s bare chest as they lay tangled in his bed sheets. It was more of a challenge than an invitation.

Jeonghan grins now, smug, like Mingyu’s just proven his point. “Then why are you here?”

Mingyu’s eyes flick toward the concrete edge of the rooftop, at the dizzying drop below. He tries to summon some dignity even as he stomach swoops. This is Jeonghan’s game, and he always wins, but Mingyu just can’t seem to stop playing.

“Maybe I wanted to see you.”

Jeonghan hums, feigning consideration. “Or maybe you were just hoping I’d make it worth your while.” He presses the glass back into Mingyu’s hand, but his fingers linger, sliding up to curl around Mingyu’s wrist. His grip is cold, but surprisingly gentle, and Mingyu feels the pull of it in his middle, a mix of shame and want.

There are other people here. Mingyu can feel their gazes shift towards them, but none linger. Jeonghan is careful that way—pressing close enough to set Mingyu’s nerves ablaze, but not enough to draw any real attention.

“Jeonghan…” he starts, but Jeonghan cuts him off.

“You’re going to say something boring, aren’t you,” Jeonghan whispers, lifting onto his toes and leaning in until his breath ghosts over Mingyu’s lips. His free hand flattens against Mingyu’s chest, right over his heart, and Mingyu knows Jeonghan can feel how fast it’s beating. “Don’t. It’ll ruin the mood.”

Mingyu’s breath catches when Jeonghan’s hand slides lower, featherlight against his abdomen, just above his belt. It’s deliberate, a tease so faint it borders on cruel, and then it’s gone. Jeonghan pulls back, leaving Mingyu aching in its absence.

For a moment, Jeonghan lingers, his fingers hovering in the space between them. Something flickers across his face, something Mingyu can’t quite read, something that feels like it might be significant, but just as quickly as it came, it vanishes. He turns away, seamlessly slipping into another conversation, and Mingyu is left standing alone.

Mingyu knows he should go, should’ve never come in the first place, but his feet stay rooted to the spot, his heart twisting with humiliation and longing, craving Jeonghan’s attention despite the sting of it.

It’s not like Jeonghan toying with him is new. Two weeks ago, he’d left Mingyu waiting for hours outside a cafe, only to show up with someone else and act like Mingyu was intruding. Last month, during a fight, Jeonghan had kicked him out of the car with a sneering, 'you’re lucky I even bother with you', leaving Mingyu to walk home in the rain. And yet, when Jeonghan called at 3 am, Mingyu had answered—still soaked, still shivering, but desperate to hear his voice.

An hour later, when most of the partygoers have trickled away, Jeonghan finds him again. He looks more relaxed now. Softer around the edges. But Mingyu knows better than to let his guard down.

“You’re still here?” Jeonghan asks, eyes wide. There’s a strange hesitance in his voice that makes Mingyu’s chest ache.

“You’d be disappointed if I wasn’t,” Mingyu replies, and Jeonghan’s laugh is quiet, approving.

Without warning, Jeonghan grabs his hand and tugs him toward the edge of the rooftop. Mingyu stumbles, his drink sloshing over the rim of his glass, and Jeonghan laughs louder.

“Hannie, wait—” Mingyu’s voice catches as they stop at the railing, the vast expanse of the city sprawling below them like a sea of lights. His knees lock, the height making his stomach lurch, but Jeonghan’s grip tightens.

“Relax,” Jeonghan murmurs, leaning into Mingyu’s side. His head tilts to rest against Mingyu’s shoulder, his thumb tracing slow circles over Mingyu’s knuckles. “If you tell anyone about this,” he says, his tone playful but dangerous, “I’ll be pissed.”

Mingyu looks at their joined hands, at Jeonghan’s profile glowing in the moonlight. “I won’t,” he promises.

Jeonghan’s smile widens, victorious. “Good.” His fingers linger a moment longer before he lets go, turning on his heel. “Now come on. You’re driving me home.”

Of course, Mingyu follows. He always does.

cover of me

[keenvision]

Ship/Member: seungcheol/any or seungkwan/any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: the demands of fame, being perceived by an audience and also your loved ones, being an artist vs. being a product, break-up make-up!!
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

very nice, the kids agree i'm famous
they saw me on the news
i told them, "get my good side"
they told me not to move

oxygen is hedonism
i'm the reason you won't visit
i told you not to listen
you said you wouldn't miss it

i'm just a cover of me
i keep pretending like i know how my life should be
well i keep running my mouth
i'm terrified of the sound of people leaving now

-- 'Cover of Me' by SUGR?

hold this / let go

[keenvision]

Ship/Member: any but preference for vocal unit members!!
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: holding onto something you think you should leave behind, holding onto someone you think you should've moved past
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

“I cling to everything - CDs that skip, rings that turn my fingers green, the dead ends of my hair, old love notes that turn my stomach over and over. And I'm not proud but there are still boxes under my bed. And I'm not proud but my closet is still running out of space. And nostalgia is a fucking waste of time but my heart is full with it. Tell me I won't hold this forever. Tell me there will be a day where I let gloriously go.”

-- Fortesa Latifi

your id picture that remains
inside the deep corner of my wallet
what are the feelings that have piled up on top of it?

-- "Dust" by SVT VOCU

[FILL] that monster called nostalgia

[teafiltering]

Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Joshua, Jeonghan
Major Tags: post canon
Additional Tags: N/A
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Joshua was fiddling with his earlobe.

A strobe of metal glinted under sunlight and through the passenger side window as the van rounded the corner. It was only when they stopped at a red light that Jeonghan was able to turn his head in Joshua’s direction and get a good look at him. He was taking the last of his piercings out, a helix that was a shiny dumbbell in the shape of a cross, which he used to wear religiously.

His ears looked terribly bare.

“You look different,” Jeonghan commiserated.

“They felt swollen on the flight,” Joshua tried to explain, his right hand fisted tightly around the nine studs and flatbacks. Jeonghan didn’t say anything in turn. He’d been too busy staring at the emptiness of Joshua’s earlobes, struck by the gaping markings on his ear, darkened pinpricks left behind from the jewelry that provided so much character over the years.

Joshua was nodding at him with his chin after a moment, he’d belatedly picked up on, chin tuckered upward and gesticulating to something.
The signal had turned green.

“Oh!”

Two street lights later, Jeonghan had run over a murky looking pothole that had the van lurch dramatically. Some of the earrings went flying into the air and fell out of Joshua’s grip and onto the muddy mats by their feet. Joshua had chosen to visit Seoul at the tail end of the rainy season, obviously.

It should have been Joshua to make a reaction, but in the end it was Jeonghan who sighed heavily.

“Welcome home, Joshuji.”

+

A long time ago, they used to hold hands.

Or rather, Jeonghan used to find any excuse to reach forward and grab Joshua’s hands for reassurance regardless of what they were doing: rehearsing, singing, sleeping, traveling around the world, whatever. Joshua was always so polite about the whole thing and never said no.

“You’re an enabler, hyung,” Jeonghan overheard Dokyeom tell Joshua once at a late night recording when all three of them were stuck overtime in the recording booth and Jeonghan had clung so desperately to Joshua’s fingers as a midnight lifeline, “You indulge him and let him do whatever he wants to you.”

“Yeah, well, isn’t that what friends are for?”

Jeonghan hadn’t really fallen asleep with his head on Joshua’s lap then, fingers intertwined with his. And yet Joshua had replied quietly in a whisper, even though Jeonghan suspected he knew that he wasn’t really sleeping and that he was only pretending so he could skip his turn in the studio again.

Almost like Joshua was egging him on.

Their fingers always fit together well. They were almost similar in size and feel. Soft and gentle, not rough and callused like some of the others who didn’t believe in maintenance and manicures and the basics of hand lotion.

Jeonghan always liked holding Joshua’s hands the most.

He imagined it would feel like being able to hold hands with himself.

+

After Joshua had unpacked, Jeonghan begged him to fight the jetlag and stay up with him to watch a movie.

Here’s a secret: Jeonghan hated watching American movies. He could never keep up with the subtitles and the garish acting and the convoluted plots that weren’t tied together in a neat package the way the Korean dramas Seungkwan forced him to watch always ended. And still, he picked something mundane; an action movie with lots of guns and fighting and espionage and he had gotten sleepy only fifteen minutes into it.

“I’m trying to watch,” Joshua had warned when Jeonghan reached over out of boredom, fingers crawling warmly over Joshua’s thighs, imploring. His sleepwear had little neon reindeers everywhere, leftovers from Christmas, and Jeonghan’s nimble fingers were looping around the drawstring cords.

“I thought you wanted to watch a movie,” Joshua chastised again, not looking away from the television.

Here’s another secret: Joshua hated American movies too. He found them trite as he grew older and felt himself drawn to other activities that kept him busy after work: art crafts such as painting, pottery, and that dubious phase of weaving custom bracelets that he never returned to.

Still, he watched the film as Jeonghan’s hands went roaming, tracing the reindeers with a giggle. Jeonghan had spiked their hot cider with a splash of vodka when Joshua had gotten up to use the restroom and it was adding to his naughty demeanor.

Jeonghan reached for Joshua’s hand when he was distracted and marveled at the feel of it after ages; tender and smooth, capable of anything. His palms had the tiniest of indentations on them – Jeonghan wouldn’t realize until later when he couldn’t fall asleep that they were remnants from the car ride over, and Joshua had poked himself so hard gripping his earrings that they had left reminders on the surface.

After a while, Joshua swatted Jeonghan’s hands away, and curled his own under his legs, sitting on them.

As if that could stop Jeonghan.

“C’mon, Jeonghan-ah. You’re the one who picked this. If there’s something else you’d rather do, than say it.”

Finally, Joshua looked over at him. He looked annoyed yet expectant at the same time.
The thing Jeonghan really wanted? It was simple. He just wanted to hold Joshua’s hand again like they used to. Like, for a really, really, really long time.

Jeonghan was never good at being straightforward though. He yawned obnoxiously.

“Can we watch Lady Vengeance instead? It’s the twentieth anniversary.”

Jeonghan didn’t wait for an answer and reached over Joshua to grab the remote off the side table. Just like his hands, the smell of Joshua hadn’t changed either at least. Strong scents of honey and American branded D-O-V-E soap clung to his skin and permeated his side of the sofa.

+

Jeonghan thought it was stupid how Joshua kept scheduling his trips back to Seoul and how they became shorter and shorter over time. He scheduled his return flight to “home” (Los Angeles, apparently) in less than 48 hours – right after the group’s annual Hybe meeting and calendar fiscal review at headquarters.

It hadn’t left anytime for Joshua to actually unwind.

Jeonghan was supposed to wake him up but found himself drawn to sitting at the edge of his guest bed instead. Joshua was still fast asleep, adorable breathy snores on his exhales, probably from the jetlag.

“Joshuji, we’re going to be late. Meeting starts in thirty.”

Metal was gleaming again as the sun started to creep in. Jeonghan had turned the blinds too early. There, on the nightstand was a jewelry dish in the shape of a moon – a familiar ring stood solemnly in the middle.

Jeonghan reached under the covers, fishing for Joshua’s hand and brought it over the blanket. A deepened line around his pinky ring etched into his tawny colored skin, traitorously pale.

“I can’t believe you sleep with your ring off.”

“It was making my finger turn green,” Joshua mumbled through the pillow.

It was a lie. The ring was made of pure silver. Turning green couldn’t happen. And he was also only pretending to sleep. Like how Jeonghan used to when he didn’t want to go to a schedule.

Jeonghan turned Joshua’s hand over and traced the lines of his veins absentmindedly, the way a fortune teller would. The minute markings were still there.

Eventually, Joshua sat up on his own, head full of bed hair.

“By the way, when I get back to LA, I’m going off the grid for a bit.”

Jeonghan snorted.

“You’re already off the grid. It’s not like you ever post on Instagram or Weverse or reply to any of us on Kakao.”

“I’m living Jeonghan. You should try it. There’s so much out there in the world." Joshua said, and he fumbled closer, giving Jeonghan’s bony shoulders a sweet little rub.

The thing is, Jeonghan didn’t want to.

He was still stuck in the past. The part where he was able to hold Joshua’s hand and not feel apologetic about it like he had committed a cardinal sin.

Jeonghan twisted the ring on his own pinky, marveling at the way it fit so tightly, tense around his skin.

An impossibility of sorts to take off.

He smiled at Joshua, but his smile didn’t quite meet his eyes.

Only forty-seven more hours to go.


***

this was my first fill hopefully i did it right XD

[m1ntea]

Ship/Member: Dino/Yeonjun (TXT) or any of Darlingz line
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I'll hold you close and tell you
Not to question us, don't worry
You and me, that's why we shine

-Dino, Wait

[babygirlmingyu]

Ship/Member: dino/yeonjun
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: friends with benefits to lovers, implied sex, chan is confused
Permission to remix: Please ask

***

They’re not supposed to do this.

That’s what Chan tells himself — and Yeonjun — when they run into each other in the hotel elevator. He barely has a chance to hit his floor number before Yeonjun crowds him against the wall, messy hair and cologne making Chan dizzy.

“You should come back to my room,” Yeonjun says quietly, lips brushing against the shell of Chan’s ear. It’s more of a statement than it is a question.

Chan swallows hard, his fingers twitching at his sides. “We’re not supposed to do this.”

“But it’s been so long,” Yeonjun whines, dragging the words out. His hand presses firmly against Chan’s waist, thumb brushing circles over his shirt.

They haven’t done this — hooking up when their schedules accidently match up and they end up in the same city, in the same hotel — in months. Months he spent convincing himself it was over.

The last time, Chan had told him it couldn’t happen again. He’d meant it. This was dangerous, because Yeonjun wasn’t careful but mostly because he was terrified of the way his heart skipped whenever Yeonjun texted.

He told himself he was done, but Yeonjun’s breath against his skin is warm, his fingers teasing under Chan’s shirt in just the right way and Chan knows how this ends.

The elevator doors open and for a second, Chan considers stepping back, staying inside and going back to his room. But then Yeonjun curls his fingers around Chan's wrist, tugging him forward with a confidence that makes it hard to resist.

Chan follows.

He glances over his shoulder as they walk, scanning the hallway for anyone familiar. His chest tightens at the thought of Seungkwan catching them. Seungkwan knows too much and Chan is already weary of the way he’d look at him if he knew what was about to happen.

Thankfully, they make it to Yeonjun’s room without crossing anyone’s path. The minute the door shuts behind them, Yeonjun turns, pressing Chan against it and kissing him. It’s hungry and a little rough, the way Yeonjun always is, and Chan lets himself met into it despite the nagging voice at the back of his mind screaming at him that this is a bad idea.

”I missed this,” Yeonjun says against his lips before dipping lower, his mouth hot against the curve of Chan’s neck.

”Don’t leave marks,” Chan breathes out, tilting his head to give him more space.

Yeonjun laughs. “I’m not dumb.”

“You’ve done it before.”

Yeonjun pulls back, just enough to pout, his hand lingering on Chan’s hips. “We’re performing tomorrow, I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“So considerate,” Chan mutters, his tone sharp enough that it makes Yeonjun pause.

Yeonjun’s brows furrow as he studies Chan’s face. “Are you mad at me? It feels like you’re mad at me."

Chan wants to say no. He wants to brush it off and let Yeonjun kiss him again, let the press of his body distract him from thinking, but the words stick in his throat. He’s not mad, he’s a little bitter and jealous and tired of pretending it doesn’t bother him. Chan wishes he was better than this, but the rumours make him spin out of control with how much he wishes Yeonjun was his.

“I’m not mad,” he says eventually, unconvinging.

Yeonjun frowns, his thumb brushing over Chan’s cheek. “Then what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Chan tries to lean in, to kiss him again, but Yeonjun stops him, his hand firm against Chan’s chest.

“Chan-ah,” Yeonjun says softly. “Talk to me.”

Chan exhales, his shoulders sagging. “I think we should stop hooking up.”

Yeonjun blinks, the hand on Chan’s chest sliding off. Chan misses the contact already. “That’s what you said last time. You still haven’t told me why.”

“I think we should stop hooking up because I like you,” Chan admits.

“Oh.”

It’s a simple response, but it hits Chan like a truck. He feels a wave of panic rising and he immediately has to backtrack. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—“

“Wait,” Yeonjun cuts him off, hands coming up to cup Chan’s face. “Do you think I don’t like you? Do you think I’m hooking up with other people?”

Chan hesitates, eyes darting away from Yeonjun’s gaze. “Aren’t you?”

“No.” Yeonjun almost sounds offended. “I thought we were taking it slow. I’m not seeing anyone else Chan, it’s just you. I want you.”

Chan exhales, looking back up to meet Yeonjun’s eyes. “I really thought…”

“Why didn’t you ask?” Yeonjun presses.

Chan hesitates, chewing on the inside of his cheek. The answer isn’t easy. He didn’t ask because he was scared, because Yeonjun has a reputation, because he wasn’t sure he’d survive liking Yeonjun.

But he doesn’t say any of that. Instead he laughs, deflecting. “You sound like Seungkwan.”

“Seungkwan is pretty smart.”

Chan huffs but before he can say anything else, Yeonjun kisses him again. It’s gentle, more tender than earlier and his lips don’t leave Chan as he walks them back to the bed. When Yeonjun slides inside him later, it’s softer than usual, less hurried. He holds Chan close, whispers reassuring words between kisses like he knows Chan needs to hear them.

When they’re done, Chan curls against Yeonjun’s side, melting into his hold. He knows he should go back to his room, that they’ll look for him in the morning, but he can’t bring himself to leave the warmth of Yeonjun’s arms.

Not now and probably not ever.

get out

[kkulecru]

Ship/Member: Any (though I suggest Jihoon, Vernon, Minghao)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Look, there's an elephant in the room
I know, I'll make a piano and play a little tune
And I'll write the perfect song for the perfect day
Might take a little time before my song gets played

Get Out the Way, Mother Mother