Ship/Member: gyuhan Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: idolverse, friends and idiots to lovers, first kisses, confessions, seungkwan the meddler, jeonghan who lies for fun and mingyu who couldn't lie to save his life Permission to remix: Please ask
***
“Hyung, how do you really feel about me?” Mingyu asks.
It’s a silly question, Jeonghan thinks, but second of all– it’s not a yes or no question. Someone, probably Seungcheol, reminds Mingyu of this and he whines, saying it doesn’t matter. But he rephrases it anyway.
“Hyung,” Mingyu tries again. “Hyung, do you love me?”
The members giggle and laugh, and yeah, it’s funny, it’s supposed to be funny– but Jeonghan feels like he’s going to die. Why couldn’t Mingyu just have asked him something stupid, like ‘did you shower this morning’, or something like that? Why did Mingyu have to be so… Mingyu, about it?
“No,” Jeonghan says flatly, drawing more laughter from the members.
Mingyu huffs and rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. Good, okay, this is fine. Now comes the hard part– the part where the guy reading the polygraph says Jeonghan is lying.
“True,” the polygraph reader says.
“What?” Jeonghan says, quite involuntarily. He stares at the polygrapher wide eyed.
The other members are laughing, but Mingyu’s stopped; his expression is suddenly impassive. He looks at Jeonghan and Jeonghan doesn’t know what he sees.
New talent for his resume, Jeonghan supposes. He can pass a polygraph while lying.
The rest of the interview passes in sort of a blur– Jeonghan doesn’t listen to any of the questions or the answers being dealt out until it’s Mingyu’s turn to sit in the chair. They exchange a heated look when they accidentally make eye contact, and Mingyu doesn’t look angry, he just looks a bit sad. It would be better if he was angry, Jeonghan thinks.
“Mingyu,” Seungkwan says, with the air of someone who’s just had the best idea in their entire career. “Do you love Jeonghan hyung?”
Oh. Jeonghan looks over at Mingyu, who’s staring at Seungkwan with barely masked fury, obviously trying very hard to tame his emotions and hide them from the camera.
“No,” Mingyu says, the annoyance hidden by his joking tone, but not well enough that they don’t all know he’s lying.
“False,” the polygraph reader says.
Laughter, again. Mingyu doesn’t laugh though. He’s looking at Jeonghan like he’s trying to blow him up with his mind.
After the last two members have taken their turn in the chair, the interview ends. Mingyu stalks off, and Minghao follows him, and Jeonghan stands there staring after them until they disappear from sight. He wants to say something to Mingyu, but he’s not sure what. “I’m sorry” maybe, or “wasn’t that funny? How I lied and got away with it?”
Because Jeonghan was lying, of course he was lying– he’s sure everyone else knew he was lying too. Even Mingyu. Right? Didn’t he know? What was this about?
The car trip back to the dorms is bad. Mingyu and Jeonghan end up in the same car, Mingyu in the front seat, Jeonghan in the back, the silence between them thick and heavy. The other members either don’t notice or don’t mention it. Jeonghan doesn’t know why, he doesn’t know what the silence means, he doesn’t know why Mingyu insists on ignoring him.
When they get inside the building Mingyu still doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even look at him. He sulks by himself till Wonwoo comes over to him and puts an arm around his shoulders, and then they’re off to their shared dorm, and Jeonghan is left alone.
Seungkwan comes to find him in the kitchen an hour later.
“Hyung,” he says. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
“You know,” Seungkwan says, gesturing vaguely. “You and Mingyu. I didn’t mean to make things weird, I was just trying to make it a funny interview, but I… I crossed a line.”
What line, though? Jeonghan chews on the inside of his cheek, staring back at Seungkwan. He wants to ask, he’s dying to ask, but he’s stubborn and hates asking for help. He’ll figure it out himself.
“It’s okay,” Jeonghan says at length. “You did a good job today, Seungkwan-ah. I know you put a lot of pressure on yourself to appear funny and happy in interviews, and to make stuff fun for people to watch.”
“Hyung,” Seungkwan whines, flushing slightly at the comments. “You’re being gross. I wasn’t fishing for compliments.”
“I know,” Jeonghan laughs. “I just wanted to compliment you, is that so bad?”
“Yes,” Seungkwan huffs. He walks over to the fridge and opens it, grabbing two beers and sliding one across the counter to Jeonghan. “You should probably talk to Mingyu.”
“What?”
“He looked sad,” Seungkwan says, shrugging. “You know how he is sometimes.”
“But it was a joke,” Jeonghan says, and he’s trying to convince himself more than he’s trying to convince Seungkwan– he’s trying to make it make sense. If Seungkwan says it makes sense, then maybe he’ll be able to believe it. “Of course I love Mingyu. It wasn’t funny because I don’t love him, it was funny because I managed to pass a polygraph test while lying.”
“I know that,” Seungkwan says, waving a hand. “You love all the members. But you know… well, love can be different things between different people. Maybe he meant a different kind of love.”
Huh? Jeonghan sits there and stares at Seungkwan, who looks casual and collected, like what he’d said hadn’t been insane. Seungkwan takes a sip of his beer. Jeonghan is seeing colors he’s never seen before.
A different kind of love? Like what? What did it mean? He wants to ask Seungkwan what he means, but he gets the feeling Seungkwan isn’t going to answer. So instead he downs the rest of his beer, and he stands up.
“I’m going to bed,” Jeonghan declares.
“Okay,” Seungkwan says. “Tell Mingyu I said hi.”
Jeonghan doesn’t dignify this with a response, he just scoffs and leaves the kitchen– and he leaves their dorm, and he takes the elevator up to the floor where Mingyu and Wonwoo live. He wonders what they’re doing. Maybe they’re talking about him. Probably not. His hand shakes when he knocks on the door.
The person who opens it is not who Jeonghan wanted to see; it’s Wonwoo, with his glasses on, makeup already off. He raises his eyebrows at Jeonghan.
“Hyung, what are you doing here?” He asks.
“Is uh– is Mingyu here?” Jeonghan replies, and he doesn’t know why he’s stumbling over his words like a toddler, but his palms have started to sweat again.
“Yeah,” Wonwoo says. “He lives here.”
“Wonwoo.”
“Oh,” Wonwoo says, “Oh, I see– I’ll uh… I’ll go say hi to Soonyoung, or something.”
“Alright,” Jeonghan says.
He doesn’t say that it’s okay, that Wonwoo doesn’t have to leave, he just wants to check on Mingyu, because he does want Wonwoo to leave. He’s not really sure why exactly, but he does want to be alone with Mingyu and this unnamed thing in between them. So Jeonghan lets Wonwoo leave, and he goes inside, and he shuts the door behind him.
“Who was it, hyung?” Mingyu calls from somewhere deeper in the apartment. “Is the food already here?”
Jeonghan doesn’t answer, he walks into the living room, and he sees Mingyu– and Mingyu sees him. They look at each other for a few moments in complete silence.
“Wonwoo left,” Jeonghan says eventually. “Sorry. I didn’t know you guys had ordered food.”
“He left? Why?”
Jeonghan doesn’t know how to answer that, so instead he says, “are you alright?”
Mingyu blinks back at him, something crossing over his face. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“You’re lying,” Jeonghan says, flatly. “You’re a horrible liar, Mingyu.”
Mingyu’s expression turns into a scowl, “so what?”
“Mingyu,” Jeonghan says, and he’s still standing so far away from him, and Mingyu looks so mad, and it wasn’t supposed to go like this. “What did you mean when you asked if I loved you?”
“It was a joke,” Mingyu says. “I was just trying to make the video funny.”
“No, you weren’t,” Jeonghan says. “I was the one who did that. I lied, and I lied so well I fooled a polygraph. That was the funny part. The part where you asked if I loved you wasn’t funny at all.”
“You… what? What do you mean?”
“What do you mean ‘what do I mean’? Of course I love you, Mingyu. I love all the members, you know that.”
Mingyu crumples, “yeah. Yeah, of course.”
“Mingyu,” Jeonghan says again, like if he says his name enough times maybe it’ll be enough– maybe he won’t have to say the other thing.
Mingyu stands up and brushes his hair back, “did you want something else, hyung?”
“Mingyu,” Jeonghan insists, and he walks over to him, and he grabs his wrist, and he hasn’t thought this through– what does he do now? They’re standing very close together. “What kind of love did you mean?”
“I don’t– what do you mean what kind of love?”
“What kind of love do you want?” Jeonghan asks, insists, his grip tightening.
“I can’t answer that.”
“Why not?”
“I’m a bad liar, hyung,” Mingyu whispers. His voice has gotten very small, and he looks awfully fragile all of a sudden.
Jeonghan wants to say something, to say the right thing, something that would fix this, but he can’t– he can’t say it. Not like that. There’s a word he knows, but he can’t say it.
So instead, he leans up and he kisses Mingyu, just… briefly. For barely a second. He has to stand on his tiptoes to reach Mingyu’s lips.
Mingyu looks down at him wide eyed, and then– and then Mingyu kisses Jeonghan, kisses him hard, he wrenches his wrist out of Jeonghan’s grip and puts both hands on Jeonghan’s face, and he kisses him so hard that they almost topple over onto the floor. Instead they end up against the wall, Jeonghan caged in between Mingyu’s arms, and oh, oh, oh. Kissing Mingyu is so nice.
“Like that,” Mingyu whispers, pulling away just far enough that he can speak. “I want love like that.”
“I can work with that,” Jeonghan says. “I could do that.”
“You could?”
“Yes,” Jeonghan says.
Yes, yes, yes, Jeonghan thinks, it’s always yes when it’s you. He doesn’t say that part out loud. Instead he kisses Mingyu again.
[FILL] what kind of love
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse, friends and idiots to lovers, first kisses, confessions, seungkwan the meddler, jeonghan who lies for fun and mingyu who couldn't lie to save his life
Permission to remix: Please ask
***
“Hyung, how do you really feel about me?” Mingyu asks.
It’s a silly question, Jeonghan thinks, but second of all– it’s not a yes or no question. Someone, probably Seungcheol, reminds Mingyu of this and he whines, saying it doesn’t matter. But he rephrases it anyway.
“Hyung,” Mingyu tries again. “Hyung, do you love me?”
The members giggle and laugh, and yeah, it’s funny, it’s supposed to be funny– but Jeonghan feels like he’s going to die. Why couldn’t Mingyu just have asked him something stupid, like ‘did you shower this morning’, or something like that? Why did Mingyu have to be so… Mingyu, about it?
“No,” Jeonghan says flatly, drawing more laughter from the members.
Mingyu huffs and rolls his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. Good, okay, this is fine. Now comes the hard part– the part where the guy reading the polygraph says Jeonghan is lying.
“True,” the polygraph reader says.
“What?” Jeonghan says, quite involuntarily. He stares at the polygrapher wide eyed.
The other members are laughing, but Mingyu’s stopped; his expression is suddenly impassive. He looks at Jeonghan and Jeonghan doesn’t know what he sees.
New talent for his resume, Jeonghan supposes. He can pass a polygraph while lying.
The rest of the interview passes in sort of a blur– Jeonghan doesn’t listen to any of the questions or the answers being dealt out until it’s Mingyu’s turn to sit in the chair. They exchange a heated look when they accidentally make eye contact, and Mingyu doesn’t look angry, he just looks a bit sad. It would be better if he was angry, Jeonghan thinks.
“Mingyu,” Seungkwan says, with the air of someone who’s just had the best idea in their entire career. “Do you love Jeonghan hyung?”
Oh. Jeonghan looks over at Mingyu, who’s staring at Seungkwan with barely masked fury, obviously trying very hard to tame his emotions and hide them from the camera.
“No,” Mingyu says, the annoyance hidden by his joking tone, but not well enough that they don’t all know he’s lying.
“False,” the polygraph reader says.
Laughter, again. Mingyu doesn’t laugh though. He’s looking at Jeonghan like he’s trying to blow him up with his mind.
After the last two members have taken their turn in the chair, the interview ends. Mingyu stalks off, and Minghao follows him, and Jeonghan stands there staring after them until they disappear from sight. He wants to say something to Mingyu, but he’s not sure what. “I’m sorry” maybe, or “wasn’t that funny? How I lied and got away with it?”
Because Jeonghan was lying, of course he was lying– he’s sure everyone else knew he was lying too. Even Mingyu. Right? Didn’t he know? What was this about?
The car trip back to the dorms is bad. Mingyu and Jeonghan end up in the same car, Mingyu in the front seat, Jeonghan in the back, the silence between them thick and heavy. The other members either don’t notice or don’t mention it. Jeonghan doesn’t know why, he doesn’t know what the silence means, he doesn’t know why Mingyu insists on ignoring him.
When they get inside the building Mingyu still doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t even look at him. He sulks by himself till Wonwoo comes over to him and puts an arm around his shoulders, and then they’re off to their shared dorm, and Jeonghan is left alone.
Seungkwan comes to find him in the kitchen an hour later.
“Hyung,” he says. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
“You know,” Seungkwan says, gesturing vaguely. “You and Mingyu. I didn’t mean to make things weird, I was just trying to make it a funny interview, but I… I crossed a line.”
What line, though? Jeonghan chews on the inside of his cheek, staring back at Seungkwan. He wants to ask, he’s dying to ask, but he’s stubborn and hates asking for help. He’ll figure it out himself.
“It’s okay,” Jeonghan says at length. “You did a good job today, Seungkwan-ah. I know you put a lot of pressure on yourself to appear funny and happy in interviews, and to make stuff fun for people to watch.”
“Hyung,” Seungkwan whines, flushing slightly at the comments. “You’re being gross. I wasn’t fishing for compliments.”
“I know,” Jeonghan laughs. “I just wanted to compliment you, is that so bad?”
“Yes,” Seungkwan huffs. He walks over to the fridge and opens it, grabbing two beers and sliding one across the counter to Jeonghan. “You should probably talk to Mingyu.”
“What?”
“He looked sad,” Seungkwan says, shrugging. “You know how he is sometimes.”
“But it was a joke,” Jeonghan says, and he’s trying to convince himself more than he’s trying to convince Seungkwan– he’s trying to make it make sense. If Seungkwan says it makes sense, then maybe he’ll be able to believe it. “Of course I love Mingyu. It wasn’t funny because I don’t love him, it was funny because I managed to pass a polygraph test while lying.”
“I know that,” Seungkwan says, waving a hand. “You love all the members. But you know… well, love can be different things between different people. Maybe he meant a different kind of love.”
Huh? Jeonghan sits there and stares at Seungkwan, who looks casual and collected, like what he’d said hadn’t been insane. Seungkwan takes a sip of his beer. Jeonghan is seeing colors he’s never seen before.
A different kind of love? Like what? What did it mean? He wants to ask Seungkwan what he means, but he gets the feeling Seungkwan isn’t going to answer. So instead he downs the rest of his beer, and he stands up.
“I’m going to bed,” Jeonghan declares.
“Okay,” Seungkwan says. “Tell Mingyu I said hi.”
Jeonghan doesn’t dignify this with a response, he just scoffs and leaves the kitchen– and he leaves their dorm, and he takes the elevator up to the floor where Mingyu and Wonwoo live. He wonders what they’re doing. Maybe they’re talking about him. Probably not. His hand shakes when he knocks on the door.
The person who opens it is not who Jeonghan wanted to see; it’s Wonwoo, with his glasses on, makeup already off. He raises his eyebrows at Jeonghan.
“Hyung, what are you doing here?” He asks.
“Is uh– is Mingyu here?” Jeonghan replies, and he doesn’t know why he’s stumbling over his words like a toddler, but his palms have started to sweat again.
“Yeah,” Wonwoo says. “He lives here.”
“Wonwoo.”
“Oh,” Wonwoo says, “Oh, I see– I’ll uh… I’ll go say hi to Soonyoung, or something.”
“Alright,” Jeonghan says.
He doesn’t say that it’s okay, that Wonwoo doesn’t have to leave, he just wants to check on Mingyu, because he does want Wonwoo to leave. He’s not really sure why exactly, but he does want to be alone with Mingyu and this unnamed thing in between them. So Jeonghan lets Wonwoo leave, and he goes inside, and he shuts the door behind him.
“Who was it, hyung?” Mingyu calls from somewhere deeper in the apartment. “Is the food already here?”
Jeonghan doesn’t answer, he walks into the living room, and he sees Mingyu– and Mingyu sees him. They look at each other for a few moments in complete silence.
“Wonwoo left,” Jeonghan says eventually. “Sorry. I didn’t know you guys had ordered food.”
“He left? Why?”
Jeonghan doesn’t know how to answer that, so instead he says, “are you alright?”
Mingyu blinks back at him, something crossing over his face. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“You’re lying,” Jeonghan says, flatly. “You’re a horrible liar, Mingyu.”
Mingyu’s expression turns into a scowl, “so what?”
“Mingyu,” Jeonghan says, and he’s still standing so far away from him, and Mingyu looks so mad, and it wasn’t supposed to go like this. “What did you mean when you asked if I loved you?”
“It was a joke,” Mingyu says. “I was just trying to make the video funny.”
“No, you weren’t,” Jeonghan says. “I was the one who did that. I lied, and I lied so well I fooled a polygraph. That was the funny part. The part where you asked if I loved you wasn’t funny at all.”
“You… what? What do you mean?”
“What do you mean ‘what do I mean’? Of course I love you, Mingyu. I love all the members, you know that.”
Mingyu crumples, “yeah. Yeah, of course.”
“Mingyu,” Jeonghan says again, like if he says his name enough times maybe it’ll be enough– maybe he won’t have to say the other thing.
Mingyu stands up and brushes his hair back, “did you want something else, hyung?”
“Mingyu,” Jeonghan insists, and he walks over to him, and he grabs his wrist, and he hasn’t thought this through– what does he do now? They’re standing very close together. “What kind of love did you mean?”
“I don’t– what do you mean what kind of love?”
“What kind of love do you want?” Jeonghan asks, insists, his grip tightening.
“I can’t answer that.”
“Why not?”
“I’m a bad liar, hyung,” Mingyu whispers. His voice has gotten very small, and he looks awfully fragile all of a sudden.
Jeonghan wants to say something, to say the right thing, something that would fix this, but he can’t– he can’t say it. Not like that. There’s a word he knows, but he can’t say it.
So instead, he leans up and he kisses Mingyu, just… briefly. For barely a second. He has to stand on his tiptoes to reach Mingyu’s lips.
Mingyu looks down at him wide eyed, and then– and then Mingyu kisses Jeonghan, kisses him hard, he wrenches his wrist out of Jeonghan’s grip and puts both hands on Jeonghan’s face, and he kisses him so hard that they almost topple over onto the floor. Instead they end up against the wall, Jeonghan caged in between Mingyu’s arms, and oh, oh, oh. Kissing Mingyu is so nice.
“Like that,” Mingyu whispers, pulling away just far enough that he can speak. “I want love like that.”
“I can work with that,” Jeonghan says. “I could do that.”
“You could?”
“Yes,” Jeonghan says.
Yes, yes, yes, Jeonghan thinks, it’s always yes when it’s you. He doesn’t say that part out loud. Instead he kisses Mingyu again.