Status: Closed
This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.
About
"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."
"What is grief, if not love persevering?"
"You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath"
Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. Each prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, and more. Steal from a literary classic, or WeVerse drama. Have fun!
Examples
Minghao + Ocean Vuong
The most beautiful part of your body
is where it's headed. & remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world.
Ocean Vuong - night sky with exit wounds
Hoshi/Anyone; "Beauty is terror"
Thinking about these two quotes together and the idea of on/off-stage personas:
"Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful we tremble before it. And what could be more terrifying or beautiful, to the Greeks to to our own, than to lose control completely?" - Donna Tartt, the Secret Histories
"I am calm in everyday life but when I put on my in-ear device and step on stage, I can feel the tension and hear the cheers getting louder as the music gets louder. When the staff tells me it's time to step on stage, I feel something boil inside me. I feel it steaming inside and I think I have to give a burst of something, spill what is inside me." - Hoshi in Hit the Road Ep. 04
Any ship; "It's been so many years"
Hello, hello there, is this Martha?
This is old Tom Frost
And I am calling long distance
Don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more
Now Martha please recall
Meet me out for coffee
Where we'll talk about it all.
Tom Watts - Martha
Rules
- Sign up is not required.
- Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too!
- There is no maximum cap.
- Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest).
- NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged
- NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview.
How it works
Prompting
- Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post;
- Change the subject to something interesting;
- Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want!
Filling
- Reply to the original prompt;
- Change the subject to [FILL], you may add a title or stay chaotic;
- Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text.
You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.
Remixing
- Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
- Change the subject to [REMIX].
Art/media
- Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.)
- Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it!
- Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead.
(To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want)
Note!
On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it.
Navigation
|
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: long-distance [lovers], dreams as a means to be close to you, possibly magical realism ?, anything!
Do Not Wants: MCD
Prompt:
~El Dorado, EXO
[FILL] same same same
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: long-distance, magical realism, minghao is magic !? (again), yearning and pinning and dreaming and
Permission to remix: Yes
word count: 1.2k
if this is confusing... no it isn't. yes it is.
***
Vernon is standing in his kitchen with his back leaning against the refrigerator. He’s frowning, nursing a cup of coffee with both of his hands. His phone is on the counter in front of him, and he doesn’t stop staring at it.
The phone lights up and Vernon startles. A wave of coffee escapes from the cup and wash over his fingers. He doesn’t hiss from a burn - the drink has already gone cold. He wipes his hands off on his shirt (Minghao recognizes it as his early birthday gift) and reaches for the phone.
Minghao can see his eyes traveling from left to right and up and down. The frown doesn’t leave his face.
Minghao reaches over-
myungho: your interview went great! just sharing a fact with you!
myungho: seriously, you prepared so hard for it and you’re meeting all of the qualifications
myungho: at that point it’s not in your hands anymore and you just have to pray that they get some sense knocked into them
vern: >~<
vern: ah i don’t know…
vern: i got an email this morning saying they’ll call me today but i haven’t heard from them yet
myungho: well you can’t rush good things coming your way
myungho: how long did it take you to finally introduse yourself to me?
vern: *introduce
vern: lol
vern: i refuse to get into this argument again
vern: i was a regular amount of nervous
vern:but ik u’re trying to cheer me up
vern: thank you
myungho: :)
***
Vernon’s smile is dim under the highlights. He’s sitting on stage, guitar resting on his lap. He fiddles with the chords to set the mood.
”I wanted to thank you all again for coming tonight. This showcase event got rushed to completion but I think the end result is pretty great.” He grins and all of his teeth show, impeccably white. He lists names of people that helped him pull this off, as well as the names of everyone else who performed before him. Minghao recognizes a couple of them. They’re background characters in the stories Vernon tells him.
”There is one more person I’d like to thank,” Vernon smiles down at his guitar. “He isn’t physically here today - and actually he’s probably sleeping on the other side of the world right now. But he’s been with me through this entire process, and he’s always much more supportive of everything I do than I deserve.” He clears his throat and looks up at the small crowd gathered in the company dining room. “So, thank you Minghao. This last one is for you.”
myungho: thank you for the song
vern: ?
vern: how did u know haha
myungho: wonwoo sent me a video
vern: ah
vern: he spoiled my surprise :/
vern: happy birthday!
***
Vernon holds his head between his hands, lowers it until it’s pressed against his desk. He grunts in his palms.
”You okay?” Mingyu asks from across the studio.
”I think I might have caught something. My throat feels weird and now my head is like super heavy.”
”Ew dude go back home. I don’t want to catch what you have.” He pauses. “Want me to drive you?”
Vernon shakes his head. “We still have work to do.”
”You’re clearly not in the right state to work.”
”I’ve pushed through worse.”
Mingyu shakes his head and walks to Vernon’s chair. He presses a hand to his forehead and to the back of his neck. “You’re a little warm. Get home because it gets worse. I’m driving you.” Vernon opens his mouth and Mingyu shuts his jaw tight with the tip of a finger. “It’s non negotiable.”
myungho: how are you feeling?
myungho: im sending food to your apartment
myungho: it’s a soup my mom always made when i got sick as a child
myungho: im telling them to leave the delivery behind the pot if you’re asleep when they get here
myungho: reheat it a little but not too much or it’s going to make your fever worse
myungho: also make yourself that tea i got you
myungho: it’s in a green and red box
myungho: don’t boil the water this time
myungho: let me know if you need anything else
vern: i just woke up
myungho: are you feeling better?
vern: how did you know i was sick
myungho: mingyu
vern: since when do you guys know each other
myungho: i can’t remember
vern: hm?
vern: well anyway
vern: i got the soup
vern: thks dude it’s really nice
myungho: did you make the tea yet?
myungho: drink that after the soup
myungho: that way you stay hydrated
vern: mh mh
vern: what would i do without you
myungho: die very quickly i suppose
***
Vernon is lying on his side, head pillowed on an arm. His lips are parted and every breath he takes is accompanied with a light snore.
His eyebrows frown, like he’s working through a mental problem. Or having a rough dream.
Minghao tries to put an arm around his waist to pull him closer
and holds onto the empty air on the other side of his bed. He sighs and forces his body to go back to sleep. Nowadays, he likes it better when he’s asleep.
Vernon is laying down on a blanket spread over beautiful green grass. He’s under the shade of an elm and smiles to himself as he scribbles down in his notebook.
Minghao can’t really read what it says - but he sees his name pop up everywhere. He manages to figure out one sentence.
’you never knew how much i yearn for you.’
myungho: vernon
myungho: there’s something i should tell you
myungho: actually
myungho: did you go to the park today
vern: no
vern: why? whats up?
myungho: what did you do today?
vern: went to work?
myungho: so… no sitting on grass?
vern: no????
vern: you know im allergic to pollen, i dont exactly go around sniffing nature in spring
myungho: ah
myungho: right
myungho: nevermind then
vern: come on, whats up?
myungho: nothing important
myungho: maybe i’ll tell you one day
***
”I know it’s silly,” Vernon says from across the table. “We’ve spent most of the time we’ve known each other apart but… You’re really important to me. Like…. to a point that can be a little frightening sometimes. Because you’re not here, but you’re also everywhere that matters. If that makes sense.”
”I think I know what you mean.”
”Well, I guess what I really mean is that… I like you. A lot. I don’t want to say love because it’s scary and I don’t want to scare you but… I wanted to tell you the truth.” He pulls out a shaky exhale from between his ribs.
”I love you too,” Minghao whispers in a sleepy voice. He blinks until his eyes are open. His stomach turns when he sees the void in front of him, again. It’s cruel, the things his brain does to him sometimes.
He feels a warm hand coming from behind him, landing on his stomach. “You okay?” Vernon mumbles in Minghao’s neck.
He takes a short breath of surprise. Vernon’s thumb strokes his skin, right above his belly button. “Yeah. I was just… I think I was dreaming.”
Vernon hums, deep vibrations soothing Minghao’s nerves. “That’s nice. You don’t dream often do you?”
Minghao shakes his head. “No. I haven’t dreamed in a long time.”
Re: [FILL] same same same
(Anonymous) 2022-01-09 11:14 pm (UTC)(link)-jenna
[FILL] i see you at the end
Major Tags: Magical Realism, Long Distance Relationship
Additional Tags: dreams as a means to be close to you, do you ever just pull inspiration from disparate media from your childhood and fumble them all together into a vague magical world, yeah… yeah!
Permission to remix: yes, please!!! and if anyone even wanted to expand this concept to another ship/fandom, i think that’d be so cool
i kinda ran out of ideas by the end, but truly if anyone wanted to come talk to me about this concept i would be so!! excited!!!
---
It’s difficult, them meeting here. They’re on completely different sides of the world– he in New York City and Seungkwan in Seoul, and so their sleep schedules… barely even match up.
And it’s not like Seungkwan can always find his way to the dream world–– He’s not as good at directing his mind here, not the way that Vernon can. So the only thing worse than him spending the whole night alone by this lone castle in an endless expanse of desert (they’d found it together; this part of the ever-shifting dream landscape– that never moves, never changes) was when he’d turn at the sound of his name and see Seungkwan’s dear figure running over the dunes towards him, arms wide open –– before his alarm would blare next to his ear, rudely awakening him to another day.
But they make it work. Phone calls, video calls, all of the typical markers of a long-distance relationship. But their meetings in the dream world are special, tangible. For if Vernon cannot have Seungkwan with him during his waking hours, he’ll sure as hell ruin his sleep schedule to hold him in his dreams.
---
Even when he was a child, Vernon’s dreams have always been–– a fantastical, untamed landscape. Not in a terrifying way, but he didn’t have any control, not yet. But one night when he was five, he finally found his mother in the midst of a lush jungle, where she then took his hand and taught of the Sandman, of dream sand.
The Sandman, in her words, was a master artist–– an architect, even. All day long, he loved to weave together new wonders for those with the power and imagination to access this world in their dreams… an oasis for their weary and tired minds. And his medium of choice, the dream sand, was a wondrous thing that could shift and meld to fit whatever vision the Sandman had decided upon that day–– although, she’d paused to laugh, the Sandman doesn’t really stop to think about the time of day, since he takes care of the dream sands for everyone in the world to come, whenever they find the time to rest.
These are the things that my mother taught to me, and that her mother taught to her, and her mother before her, Vernon’s grandmother told him as she cradled his small body close to her. Every person in the world could be connected through this dream world, (a patchwork quilt of everyone’s dreams, she’d called it) but those closest to you–– it’s easiest to find them there. When your hearts and minds are aligned, you can always find your way to each other.
---
Tonight, they are lucky. Or, really, it had taken meticulous planning to maximize their time together now: checking and double-checking work schedules and appointments, a few nights of deliberate sleep deprivation.
But it’s worth it, and it’s always so quiet, in this small corner of the world that they’ve found for themselves– sometimes Vernon even wonders if they'd built it themselves. Or that somehow the Sandman had heard tell of their circumstances, and extended this small bit of compassion to them. And for that, Vernon is so thankful. Because Vernon…
Vernon wishes he could bury himself into Seungkwan's ribs, or that he could swallow him whole. Sometimes he feels as if the two of them were once one cohesive whole, then split into two— it's impossible to tell where he ends, or Seungkwan begins.
And just when he’s starting to doubt, starts to rationalize that Seungkwan would never sink into such thoughts, he’s just being melodramatic with how much he misses having Seungkwan with him, right then–– Seungkwan will turn to him with his clear, open eyes and say plainly, “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”
And Vernon’s arms will wrap closer around his beloved before he lies, “No, you’ve never. Tell me again.”
[remix] somewhere only we know (pt. 1a)
Major Tags: Epistolary, Long Distance Relationship, Multiverse, Alternate Universe(s), Magical Realism, Dreams/Dreaming
Additional Tags: junhui cameo!, vernon cameo!, jungkook cameo!, there’s some miscommunication that’s kinda stressful (but it gets worked out, i promise!), one mention of drinking alcohol and getting drunk
Permission to remix: Yes!
***
--W.S. Merwin
***
viv and i were talking about their fill for this prompt, and then this happened! As viv mentioned in their tags, the childhood media i thought about first for this concept was griffin & sabine, an epistolary novel that i read for the first time when i was about ten and have thought about often ever since; this fic is loosely based on that. it also has some your name vibes in it, too! See also: the subtle knife and the amber spyglass by phillip pullman; the exchange between sam and suzy from moonrise kingdom (“Dear Suzy, When?,” “Dear Sam, Where?,” etc., etc.). i thought a lot about the song “somewhere only we know” by keane, for both viv’s fill and this remix, so that’s the title! See also: “invisible string” by taylor swift, and “hiding tonight” by alex turner (“I’ll know the way back, if you know the way”).
i will update with the second part when i am done editing it, i am so sorry, it will be completed i promise!! also it exceeds the character limit so i have to post in multiple parts RIP. thanks for reading!
***
October 1, 2017
Dear Mr. Xu,
You don’t know me, let me introduce myself! My name is Kim Mingyu. I’m 20 years old, and I live in New York City. It’s nice to meet you! I hope we can stay in touch for a long time!
Sincerely,
Mingyu Kim
63 St. Joseph’s Pl., Apt. 5A
New York, NY 10003, USA
***
14 October
Dear Mr. Kim,
You’re right—I don’t think I know you, but your name sounds vaguely familiar…How did you get my address?
Sincerely,
Xu Minghao
Bldg. 102 Unit 14
Dongil-ro-gil 19
Hwayang-dong, Gwangjin-gu, Seoul 04900
South Korea
***
November 2, 2017
Dear Mr. Xu,
I’m sorry, I should have mentioned this in my first letter, but I found your address because I bought a set of old postcards from a thrift shop a couple weeks ago just for fun, and one of the postcards was one you had sent! It was to someone named “Junhui.” It was postmarked June 27, 2004, and you wrote about visiting Los Angeles on a family trip. You even included a stick figure drawing of yourself and your family in the bottom right hand corner! You must have been young, all you could talk about was the strawberry ice cream bar you had for dessert, and how they don’t have that in Korea.
What else do you remember about the trip? What did you think of the U.S.? Have you ever been back to L.A. since then? I went for the first time last summer and I thought it was really fun! Tell me more about yourself! I’m sorry about all the questions! I’ve never had a penpal before, but I think I would really like one…but no pressure if this is weirding you out! You don’t even have to reply if this is too creepy for you!
Sincerely,
Kim Mingyu
P.S. I like that you included your dog in the stick figure drawing, even though she couldn’t come with you on the trip ^__^
P.P.S. Your name sounded familiar too, but I really don’t think we have ever met!
***
21 November
Dear Mr. Kim,
It’s not creepy, but it is a little weird that you found that postcard. Junhui and I were childhood best friends, but we haven’t talked in a while!
I don’t remember very much from the L.A. trip, even though I was ten or eleven years old when we went. The people were so friendly! I remember waiting for the elevator in the hotel lobby with my family, and a man standing with us started talking to my dad about the weather. My dad was so shocked! Talking to strangers isn’t really a thing in Korea, so we were surprised by how chatty Americans are!
Ah, I never really know what to say when people ask me about myself…I’m also 20 years old, I’m a fashion design student, I work part-time at a clothing store. It’s my senior year, so I’m spending a lot of time in the studio on campus working on my final project.
How about you? What do you do?
Sincerely,
Xu Minghao
[Since I’m working on my final project, I might not be able to send you a reply for some time.]
***
December 13, 2017
Dear Minghao (is it okay if I call you that? It feels weird calling you “Mr.” since we’re the same age…),
Tell me more about your final project! I’m actually a photography major, but I don’t know anything about fashion, I mostly shoot landscapes. My friend Vernon is a stylist though, I usually just wear whatever he gives me.
Also, don’t worry about getting back to me right away! I told you, it’s just fun to have a penpal, so you really don’t have to worry!
Sincerely,
Mingyu
***
27 December
Dear Mingyu (it feels so much better to call you that),
My final project is a capsule collection, which is a shortened version of a full fashion collection. It’s meant to be a preview of what I would make if I was a full-fledged designer. All the fashion design students make one, and then we have a show at the end of the year and we invite a bunch of people in the fashion world to view it. I included a couple pictures of designs that I’ve been working on. I’ve been really obsessed with the ocean, can you tell?
Sincerely,
Minghao
***
January 15, 2018
Minghao, this is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen! I didn’t even know fabric could do that! I showed your designs to my friend Vernon (I hope you don’t mind), and he said you’re really good at draping.
Since you showed me your work, I included a few pictures I took while I was in California last summer! I tried to take pictures of the sunset because it was so pretty that day, but I don’t think it came out anywhere close to what it was like in real life.
Sincerely,
Mingyu
P.S. I like how you made the skirt in outfit #2, it looks like one big wave.
P.P.S. Thank you for sharing your work with me (a complete stranger)
***
13 February
Dear Mingyu,
Exactly!! The skirt is supposed to be like an ocean wave! You’re the first person to catch that!
I really like the picture you took of the jetty, it looks like the ocean is about to swallow the sun. I think you should give yourself more credit, I felt like I could feel the sun’s warmth through the photo. Is that weird?
Also—is that a picture of the front of the L.A. art museum? I think I’ve been there, I remember running around with other kids through those lamps!
Sincerely,
Minghao
[You’re not a complete stranger to me, I think it’s nice to talk to you.]
***
February 29, 2018
Dear Minghao,
That’s not weird! That’s why they call it the golden hour, right? It’s the perfect time to take photographs.
You’re right, it’s the front of LACMA (L.A. County Museum of Art)! I thought it looked really cool at night with all the lamps lit up.
Minghao, maybe this is too much, but what do you look like? I’ve been trying to picture what you look like, but I really can’t.
Maybe you could Would you feel comfortableCould you send a picture of yourself? I want to be able to put a face to your name.Sincerely,
Mingyu
P.S. You really don’t have to send a photo if that makes you uncomfortable! Ah!! You can forget I said anything!
***
March 24, 2018
Dear Minghao,
I haven’t heard from you in a while. Did I blow it? I’m so sorry!! I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable! If I have, I really am so sorry.
Best wishes,
Mingyu
***
21 April
Dear Mingyu,
I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. Life got really busy and so much has happened! I graduated, I got an apprenticeship, and I moved apartments!
The spring was really stressful because we had the showcase for our capsule collections, and a lot of important people were there and I was so anxious that I think I gave a really bad first impression to some fashion editors. And then I went through a slump—some of my classmates got offers from department stores to buy their capsules, but no one bought mine. I know that it doesn’t really make sense to compare myself to them, all of our work is so different, and I was happy to see them have such a strong start, but I wanted that for myself too. Is that selfish?
By chance, one of my friends sent my sketches to a designer named Woo Youngmi, and she hired me! I’m starting out small—she has me sewing mockups and helping with fittings—but even watching her process is motivating me to work harder. I usually get up early to sew before going to work, even though the neighbors probably don’t appreciate the sound of my sewing machine at dawn.
You had asked me for a picture of myself, and I think that’s alright, as long as you send one back! The photo I sent is of me taken on the rooftop of my new apartment building. Sometimes, I go up there after work to watch the sun set. What do you think? It’s a beautiful view, right? I wish you could see it in person.
Yours,
Minghao
Bldg. 38 Unit 35
Sangdong-ro 12
Wonmi-gu, Bucheon, Gyeonggi-do 14543
South Korea
[Please don’t apologize for sending me letters. I can’t always respond right away, and the mail service can be slow these days, but I find myself looking forward to seeing your handwriting in my mail pile.]
***
May 20, 2018
Dear Minghao,
I saw your handwriting in the mail and had to sit down and write to you right away!
First, congratulations on graduating! Even though I only saw a few of your designs, I really, really liked your vision, and I am so excited for you to start this new journey! I know how you feel. I graduated too, and now I’m working freelance and have steady gigs, but I didn’t have many clients when I had just graduated. I hated feeling so energized and inspired at a shoot, but not knowing when I would hit that high again. I don’t think you’re selfish, it doesn’t make sense for you to compare yourselves to others. You are yourself, and your work has its own feel, and I think it’s better to wait for the right people to come around and recognize that.
Second, I’ve included a picture of myself! Vernon took it when we went bike riding in the park one day.
Lastly, thank you for the photo, but did you include the wrong one by accident? I see the view, but I don’t see you!
Yours,
Mingyu
P.S. It really is a beautiful view! I would love to see it in person.
***
1 June
Dear Mingyu,
That’s odd—I definitely sent you the right photo. I actually sent you the only copy of that photo, I threw the negatives out by accident when I was getting rid of moving boxes, but I know I didn’t have any photos of just the view by itself…
What’s weird is that your photo doesn’t have you in it either! It looks like a lovely picnic on a sunny day, but there’s no one there! Is it possible you sent the wrong picture?
Yours,
Minghao
***
June 19, 2018
Minghao,
That’s so strange. I looked at the negative of the photo I sent you, and it is definitely the one with me in it. Are you positive you have the right one? There should be a green bike leaning against a tree in the right side of the picture. And I’m sitting in the center of the picnic blanket! You can’t miss me!!
Yours,
Mingyu
***
2 July
Dear Mingyu,
Hmm, the photo you sent matches your description…to be fair, most of the picture is underexposed so it’s really hard to make anything out, maybe your face is in shadow? In any case, I put it on the pinboard above my sewing machine at home, and I find myself looking at it whenever I find a lull in my work.
Mingyu—I have exciting news!! I was invited by Youngmi daepyo-nim to accompany her in Europe this summer! We’re sourcing fabrics for future collections and meeting with manufacturers, distributors, and other designers. By the time you get this, I’ll be on a plane to Vienna!
The trip will last the whole summer; after Vienna we’ll go to Berlin, then Amsterdam, and then we’ll go to New York for Fashion Week. It’s actually the longest time I’ll be away from home. I’m looking forward to it, of course, but to be honest, I’m also very nervous. Mingyu—do you ever feel nervous about things like this? This is something I’ve been looking forward to for a long time, but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to jinx it or anything. And now it’s happening and all my things are packed and I’m ready to go, but I don’t think it’s hit me yet.
Maybe I’ll feel truly excited when I arrive…but for now?...I guess I’m worried that I’ll ruin something, or that someone else in my position might do better than me, or be more deserving of this. I guess it just feels like I’m holding something great in my hands and I don’t know what to do with it?
I’m sorry for this rambling letter, but I think it will make up for whatever else I’ll manage to write to you this summer! Which is to say—I’ll write to you when I can, so expect some postcards from faraway places!
Yours,
Minghao
[Forward your letter to my flat in Berlin, please! I would love nothing more than to have a letter from you waiting for me when I arrive.]
Minghao Xu
Niederbarnimstr. 4
10247 Berlin
Germany
***
July 18, 2018
Dear Minghao,
I hope you arrived in Berlin safely! I am so excited for you, and I think you’ll have a great time no matter what. And I want you to know that you, you are deserving of this. We haven’t been writing to each other for very long but I know you work hard at everything you do, and I think you should consider this a celebration of that work!
I have the picture of your view saved too! I have a “wall of inspiration” in my bedroom where I hang pictures from photoshoots I like. Your picture is taped next to a Steven Meisel photoshoot from the '90’s that is set at a swimming pool. I see it every morning when I get ready for the day.
I’m actually traveling for work this summer too, I’ll be in L.A. all of August and September. I got hired to shoot an ad campaign for cars (can’t say for which company, it’s a secret ;) ), and I also have a bunch of personal stuff I want to shoot while I’m there. Write to me at this L.A. address!
Yours,
Mingyu
384 Kenilworth Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90039
***
2 August
Mingyu,
I’m trying to write this quickly—I’m at a dinner party and it’s almost midnight and I’m a little tipsy.
I’m writing to say that I miss you. I think I can say that now, to you, in a letter. Youngmi daepyo-nim and I have been going to art museums a lot as part of the research for future collections, and I go home in the evening and my brain feels stuffed full of so many ideas for my own designs. I’m just drunk enough now that I don’t think I’ll feel embarrassed about this until tomorrow morning, but I still think about what you said about my senior project—how it looked like an ocean wave. And I think about how cool it would be if we created something together. If I styled a photoshoot for you? Something like that…maybe one day.
I have to go now, my friend is pounding on the door and accusing me of being antisocial! I guess I just wanted to say that I wish you were here.
Yours truly,
Minghao
[remix] somewhere only we know (pt. 1b)
***
August 18, 2018
Minghao,
I hope you had fun at the dinner party, and I hope the hangover the next day wasn’t too bad. I have to say, your handwriting is pretty neat even when you’re drunk.
Minghao, maybe this is crazy, but would you like to maybe meet in person? What are you doing after New York Fashion Week?
Yours,
Mingyu
P.S. I recommend chicken noodle soup and two Advil for hangovers!
P.P.S. I miss you too, especially when I come home to my apartment late at night. My thoughts feel especially loud when the world is quiet.
***
3 September
Dear Mingyu,
I have no plans. Youngmi daepyo-nim is going to London Fashion Week soon, I can meet you in L.A. at the end of this month?
Yours truly,
Minghao
***
September 10, 2018
Dear Minghao,
Yes! God yes. I’ll be here! My hand is shaking writing this. Where should we meet? How about the lamps in front of LACMA? For old time’s sake? Is that too cliché?
Yours,
Mingyu
***
19 September
Dear Mingyu,
Yes, I can meet you at the lamps at LACMA! Let’s meet at 7pm on Saturday 28 September. I will be wearing a blue button-down shirt with a wave printed on it.
My hands are shaking too. I’ve been thinking of you more and more. I go to sleep imagining us standing in front of each other face-to-face. I wake up wondering how closely my guess of you matches how you look in real life.
I can’t wait to see you.
Yours,
Minghao
***
September 28, 2018
Dearest Minghao,
I’m writing this before I leave, so I have to be quick. I am sending this to your Seoul apartment, so you won’t get it for a long time and we will have met by then anyway, but I think that sometimes things are safer on paper than anywhere else.
I am so eager to meet you. I have treasured our correspondence, but I’m also impatient. Sometimes when I’m out photographing, I imagine you coming with me. Not even as a stylist (though I have thought about that too), you are simply there keeping me company as I work. Or other times, I encounter something so beautiful—a bird, a skyline, the sound of laughter—that I have the urge to tell you about it right there, in the moment, before it fades.
I’ll see you so, so soon! Yours,
Mingyu
***
September 29, 2018
Minghao,
I waited for as long as I could. At 8, the security guard asked me to leave, but I managed to find parking across the street so I waited in my car for a while longer. Maybe you forgot? I don’t know how else to get in touch with you other than writing letters. I hope you’re safe and everything is ok. I’m going to go back tomorrow night in case you got the dates mixed up.
Yours,
Mingyu
***
September 30, 2018
Minghao,
You didn’t come tonight either. Maybe you got cold feet? Or maybe you really did forget? Whatever the reason, it’s alright, as long as you’re safe! I’m leaving for New York tomorrow. If you're able to write, please send it to my New York apartment! Or if you’d rather not write, that’s ok too.
Travel safely! All the best,
Mingyu
***
28 September
Dear Mingyu,
I waited for you all evening, but I didn’t see you. I got there a little before 7, so I found a spot on the wall to the left of the lamps and watched the passersby for a while, but I started to worry that maybe you got caught up in something and forgot. I hailed a taxi and gave the driver the address for your place here in L.A., but we couldn’t even find the street on a map. I had him drive me to Silver Lake anyway, and we drove around the neighborhood and looked and looked but there is no “Kenilworth Ave.” anywhere in L.A.
I don’t understand what’s happening, and if you’re doing all of this just to fuck with me, please stop.
Minghao
***
11 October
Dear Mingyu,
I’m back in Seoul now and I just read your letters. This whole thing is extremely weird, and I don’t even know where to begin. I think I just need time to process what is happening. Don’t worry, I’m safe, and I’m glad you’re safe too. I’ll write to you again, just please, wait a bit longer if you can bear it? if you can, just until I feel like I have stuff figured out.
With love,
Minghao
[Thank you for waiting.]
Re: [remix] somewhere only we know (pt. 2)
“In the cracks of light I dreamed of you, it was real enough to get me through”
***
13 November
Dear Mingyu,
I’ve done some thinking, but I still can’t understand why this happened to us. I believe you; I don’t think you would do something as cruel as stand me up, and I’m sorry for doubting you before. I have reread your letters over and over, replayed the day we were set to meet again and again in my head, and nothing about the day or the circumstances of our experiences seem to be out of the ordinary, no matter if I glance at it or run through it with a fine-tooth comb.
When I think about the time I was setting out for California, I wish I could send a message to my past self, but I’m not even sure what I would tell him. And in truth, I don’t know if I would do things differently given the opportunity. My impression of you has not changed, and I hope I have not changed for you either.
I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point. Should we try to meet each other again? The thought of coming to meet you and missing you again…I don’t know if I can endure it…
Yours,
Minghao
***
December 17, 2018
Dear Minghao,
I am beyond relieved to hear from you again. I’ve missed your letters—the one true, constant link between us.
Maybe I read too much science fiction as a kid, but could it be possible that we are living in parallel universes? Do you think that could be possible? I haven’t spoken of you to anyone, are you a figment of my imagination? Even if you are, I think I am in too deep to stop now…
For now, I guess we go on with the way things are. Even writing that doesn’t feel right. I want to see you, I want to be able to reach out and touch you and prove that you are real. These days, when it gets dark early, I feel more lonely. Does that happen to you? I mean, I have my friends and my job and I like where I live, but sometimes I feel like none of it will last.
Sincerely yours,
Mingyu
***
28 January
Dear Mingyu,
It’s been so cold here; my apartment has a draft no matter where I sit. I would love nothing more than to lie in the sun with you and have a picnic on a summer day. I don’t think time moves the same way in winter—every day feels the same.
The thought of parallel universes feels too scientific to me; I think this is something more abstract and harder to pin down. I feel like this is some kind of test; that by enduring this separation our reward will be each other?
I wish there was a way for me to prove to you that I am real. Maybe a drawing will help? I’ve enclosed a drawing of myself. I’ve never done a self-portrait before, but I think it turned out alright for what I want—an outline of myself, for you. Will whatever force that is keeping us apart grant us this much? Is it too dangerous to hope for that?
Yours,
Minghao
[I assure you, just as I am as real as you are, I ache for you just the same.]
***
February 12, 2019
Dear Minghao,
The drawing worked!! I can’t stop looking at it and tracing over it, it's already bent at the corners from how many times I have picked it up. Maybe I should frame it? Everything about you—all that I have in relation to you—seems precious, and I am worried the forces of the universe will take it away from me.
I try to imagine your drawing to scale, how tall are you? Maybe I’m too greedy…the drawing makes me think of how I would look in comparison to you, if I were to stand next to you. I took a picture of your drawing and developed it myself, and now your face is blown large and lifesize and pinned on my wall next to the picture of your city view from your apartment. I am enclosing a drawing of me done by my friend Jungkook. He’s a great artist, right?
I am treating today as a gift. Today, I am too relieved to question how things came to be the way they are.
Yours always,
Mingyu
P.S. It’s Valentine’s Day soon, what kind of flowers do you like?
***
22 February
Dear Mingyu,
You are exactly as I pictured you. Nothing about this drawing is a surprise to me, even though I have never seen you before. Isn’t that strange? I too, am past reason to question anything at this point.
Yours truly,
Minghao
[I like chrysanthemums.]
***
March 18, 2019
Dear Minghao,
The strangest thing happened last night! I dreamed of you! At least, it felt like you. Ah, this is so hard to explain in words. I was in L.A. waiting to cross the street and I saw you waiting across the street from me. I couldn’t quite see your face, it was blurry and there were a lot of people and when we started crossing the street I couldn’t reach you in the crowd of people and then I woke up. I don’t even think you saw me, but I swear it was you. I saw you, I just know it.
Yours truly,
Mingyu
***
6 April
Dear Mingyu,
I got goosebumps reading your letter. I had a very similar dream the night that you had your dream. I dreamt that I had to meet Youngmi daepyo-nim at a cafe in L.A., but I was running late and I was waiting to cross the street and the light took so long to turn red and there were so many people. It was one of those dreams where you try to hurry but it feels like you’re wading through honey and everything is excruciatingly slow.
Today is your birthday, and I went to Hangang for a walk and pretended we were celebrating together. I sat for a while watching the couples, and felt the most profound sense of contentment settle over me, like fresh snow or a warm blanket. I hope you felt it too wherever you were, wherever you are.
The cherry blossoms have reached their peak now, I have enclosed a photo. I’m in the photo, but I know you won’t see me. I’m sending it anyway. A man can dream, right?
With love,
Minghao
[Next time I dream, I’ll look for you.]
***
April 15, 2019
Dear Minghao,
Thank you for the birthday wish. My friends came over to my apartment and I cooked for them! As we were sitting around the dinner table, I realized it was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel lonely. It isn’t the same without you of course, but I imagined you sitting with us and meeting my friends, and it made me incredibly happy.
I’ve started keeping a dream diary next to my bed. I typically never remember my dreams, but there’s nothing more frustrating than waking up and feeling the dreams slipping away from me. I haven’t had another dream of you since March. And of course, the photograph you sent is just of the trees. Maybe it’s the changing of the seasons, but I think I’ve accepted that we can only see each other in glimpses.
With love,
Mingyu
***
31 April
Dear Mingyu,
I dreamed of you for the first time last night. We were at the Getty Museum and I was walking down the steps at the main entrance as you were walking up. I called your name and you looked up at me. We saw each other. I can’t believe it. Please write as soon as you can!
Yours,
Minghao
***
May 10, 2019
Dear Minghao,
I SAW YOU TOO. I woke up and started writing immediately but the dream faded so quickly and I lost most of it before I could finish and my notes are so hard to read but I remember. I remember you, I remember you, and I’ll repeat it to myself all day and hold it close.
With love,
Mingyu
***
19 May
Dear Mingyu,
Would it tempt fate too much if we tried again? I mean—if we tried to meet again. We’ve seen each other in passing twice now, but it’s not enough. And now I feel invincible. I think our moment is just within our reach. And I’m not afraid if anything goes wrong. We always have our correspondence to fall back on if things go badly.
What do you think?
With love,
Minghao
***
June 3, 2019
Minghao—yes. Yes doesn’t even cover it. Let’s meet at LACMA, for old time’s sake? I’m game for testing fate. How about July 1?
With love,
Mingyu
***
14 June
Dear Mingyu,
1 July can’t come fast enough. I go to work but my mind is elsewhere. I lie in bed and stare at my ceiling and I should be sleeping, I should be well-rested for our meeting, but all I want is for the days to come faster.
All my love,
Minghao
***
July 1, 2019
Dear Minghao,
Tonight we are trying again. I haven’t had coffee in two weeks. I bought blackout curtains. I’ve developed the habit of taking a warm bath before bed every night. I want to make myself as relaxed as possible, but every nerve in my body is alive. I actually just got back from a run in the park, I couldn’t sit still anymore. And maybe that will ruin everything, but we can always try again, right?
Good night, my love. Yours,
Mingyu
***
2 July
Dear Mingyu,
I held your hand last night, and now I think I understand what it means to hold something great in my hands.
All my love,
Minghao
***
First quote is from Jean Cocteau, second quote is from “evermore” by taylor swift.
thanks for reading!! come talk to me on twt!
this fic is also crossposted to ao3.