Status: Closed
This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.
About
"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."
"What is grief, if not love persevering?"
"You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath"
Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. Each prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, and more. Steal from a literary classic, or WeVerse drama. Have fun!
Examples
Minghao + Ocean Vuong
The most beautiful part of your body
is where it's headed. & remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world.
Ocean Vuong - night sky with exit wounds
Hoshi/Anyone; "Beauty is terror"
Thinking about these two quotes together and the idea of on/off-stage personas:
"Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful we tremble before it. And what could be more terrifying or beautiful, to the Greeks to to our own, than to lose control completely?" - Donna Tartt, the Secret Histories
"I am calm in everyday life but when I put on my in-ear device and step on stage, I can feel the tension and hear the cheers getting louder as the music gets louder. When the staff tells me it's time to step on stage, I feel something boil inside me. I feel it steaming inside and I think I have to give a burst of something, spill what is inside me." - Hoshi in Hit the Road Ep. 04
Any ship; "It's been so many years"
Hello, hello there, is this Martha?
This is old Tom Frost
And I am calling long distance
Don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more
Now Martha please recall
Meet me out for coffee
Where we'll talk about it all.
Tom Watts - Martha
Rules
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Prompting
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Filling
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You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.
Remixing
- Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
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jeonghan indulging soonyoung
(Anonymous) 2021-12-26 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: brothers best friend, first love
Do Not Wants: None
Prompt:
― Oscar Wilde
[FILL] supernova
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: brother’s best friend, first love, ages are fudged for convenience, gratuitous shirtlessness, pining as a love language
Permission to remix: Yes
i started this with an attempt to follow the prompt but i apologise for any deviations on my part <3
***
there are many things in life that jeonghan has wanted. this is a list that is almost precisely mirrored in things he has gotten. it’s not his fault that he’s charming, or cunning, or just downright lucky – there are few things in life that have been denied to jeonghan, mainly from his own refusal to accept denial as an answer.
there is one thing in life that jeonghan has not allowed himself to want, precisely because he knows it will never be his. this is, coincidentally, the one desire that has burned the fiercest and the longest. as if the fire itself is stoked by each reminder that he is out of reach.
he remembers the moment the fire starts. a sweltering afternoon after playing soccer in the empty field outside their school followed by an impromptu visit to jisoo’s house. it is high school and the majority of their time is spent at school or loitering in various places that are not their homes in a feeble attempt to resist the demands of their parents and their schoolwork. but the day is too hot, and when jisoo suggests going home to eat ice cream and play video games in the air conditioned haven of the game room, who is jeonghan to refuse?
among all the joys he is promised that afternoon this is one he could never have expected. jisoo’s brother has commandeered the game room before their arrival, and they step in to the tinny sounds of just dance thumping over the speakers. soonyoung is really going for it – he’s hitting every beat, every choreographed move of whatever 2000s pop song is currently playing – and goddamn, all jeonghan can think is that he looks good.
“hyung, are you going to be done soon?” jisoo taps his foot in the doorway as he rolls his eyes at his older brother. “jeonghan wants to play games.”
“what?” his attention breaks a little, eyes still trailing soonyoung’s form as he dances confidently in front of the screen of neon outlines. a blush creeps onto his cheeks, though he doesn’t quite know why yet. “no, no – i can wait, really.”
soonyoung remains quiet, his eyes laser focused on the screen before him as he bites his lip in concentration on the final combination. jeonghan’s eyes widen when his tongue pokes out the corner of his mouth to swipe against his lower lip, and in that moment he is grateful that no one in the room is looking at his reactions.
the song ends, and soonyoung turns to jisoo, tossing the remote to the console in a neat arc through the air. “all yours, kiddo. i think i’m going to head out for a run.” he flashes jeonghan a sharp grin and a nod hello, before stretching and –
oh. in one fluid motion he’s taken off his shirt, the faint glisten of sweat still glistening with a sheen of sweat. jeonghan forces his eyes to the ground and waves at the elder kwon as he saunters out of the room.
//
that was the first day, and since then they have had many more. the sunny afternoons slipping into balmy dusks jeonghan spends with the kwons in their home become a habit, his permanent residency in jisoo’s room becoming a fixture they have all grown comfortable with. it is almost perfect,
except jeonghan could never tell soonyoung how he felt.
except jisoo would never accept it, this blurring of lines.
except soonyoung was in love with someone else, anyway.
so he holds it within him, a secret held as tightly to his core as a pearl within an oyster. there is no need to say anything, after all, as long as soonyoung is radiant and happy in his relationship. as long as soonyoung is loved the way he should be.
except, of course, he is not.
jeonghan doesn’t know the name of soonyoung’s mystery beau, only that he doesn’t want to hang out with soonyoung’s kid brother and his friend. only that soonyoung’s stopped singing and dancing around the house the way he does when he’s relaxed. only that soonyoung’s light has dimmed.
and one night when jeonghan tosses sleeplessly on jisoo’s floor while his best friend snores gently, he creeps out of the room with the intention of sneaking into the kitchen for a midnight snack, only to hear the faint sound of sobs emanating from soonyoung’s door. he holds his knuckles up to the smooth wood, contemplating for a moment knocking to ask if he’s okay. but this is not jeonghan’s place, is it?
he forces himself down the stairs against the clenching feeling in his gut to go to soonyoung and brush his tears away from his cheeks. he forces himself to pry open the fridge door quietly, settling on a small pot of strawberry yogurt and a handful of cereal. he forces himself not to look up too quickly when soonyoung eventually pads into the kitchen himself to grab a glass of water.
“oh, you’re still awake! i thought everyone was asleep by now.” soonyoung’s voice shakes just a little, but he smiles brightly at jeonghan anyway.
he lifts up his snack in response, swallowing a big mouthful of yogurt before speaking. “mm, i was hungry. what’re you still doing awake?”
“i was just… talking to my boyfriend on the phone.” soonyoung’s brows knit together as he pulls up a chair just across from jeonghan. “i didn’t wake you, right?”
“no, i didn’t hear anything,” jeonghan lies, more out of mercy than self-preservation. “soonyoung hyung, can i ask you a question?”
soonyoung nods almost immediately, gesturing for him to speak.
“you.. you used to dance so much, but you don’t anymore. did you get bored of it?” jeonghan tries to keep his tone measured, nonchalant. he’s just curious, that’s all, and there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
“oh, that. i’m just not very good at it, so why bother wasting time on it?”
and it is the glassy look in soonyoung’s eyes that catches jeonghan first. then the way his words sound just like he’s parroting a script, one that’s been written for him by someone else. someone that doesn’t see soonyoung for who he truly is, but what they want him to be.
“you know, when i was younger i thought you were the best dancer i’d ever seen.” jeonghan’s words are quiet but sincere, and he offers soonyoung a small smile. “and it made you so happy, too.”
and of course he’d had many occasions to prove that claim: soonyoung never smiled as brightly as he did on stage.
“you flatter me, jeonghan.” soonyoung tries to squeeze out another smile, but this time it falters. “i’m just ordinary. nothing special. it’s better to leave the spotlight to those who really deserve it.”
“you’re extraordinary, i promise.” jeonghan has to grip the arms of his chair to stop himself from launching himself across the table at soonyoung to wrap his arms around him, knuckles whitening under the pressure. “and anyone who can’t see that is blind.”
//
it is soonyoung’s last dance recital ever, according to him. one final performance in indulgence of his childish passions. one last swansong, a star going supernova.
jeonghan sneaks backstage before the performance begins with jisoo. “break a leg!” they cheer in unison, beaming kilowatt smiles at soonyoung that fade quickly when they see his face.
“he’s not here yet.” soonyoung whines plaintively. “it’s ten minutes to curtains and he isn’t here. he promised!”
the way that soonyoung’s lips twist into a pout wrench jeonghan’s heart.
“i’ll call him,” jisoo promises, one hand moving to squeeze his brother’s shoulder fondly. “and he’d better show up, or else.”
/
it’s incomprehensible to jeonghan, really. to see the person you love at their happiest, in their element… there was no question. anytime he’d heard jisoo mention a recital or a performance jeonghan had offered to accompany him. for this man to not only discourage soonyoung from dancing but to not show up at all for his very last performance? unimaginable.
jeonghan can see it, the way soonyoung casts his eyes around the seats in the audience before he switches his mind off to perform. can see the way his face falls, confirmation that whoever this asshole is, they don’t truly love soonyoung. don’t deserve to love him.
his eyes track soonyoung across the stage as he dances, all clean lines and fluid movements. there is no question that he stands out ini the ensemble, no second-guessing why he’d been given his solo.
just before the show ends jeonghan tells jisoo he needs to run to the bathroom, but instead he creeps through hidden passages to soonyoung’s dressing room, a bouquet of slightly crumpled roses pulled out from his bag.
when he knocks against the plywood door, soonyoung stares at him with half his costume undone, a look of confusion on his face.
“what’re you doing here, hannie?”
“i need – i have to tell you this, hyung.” the words trip over his tongue, mind already coasting on autopilot as he thrusts the flowers out in one trembling hand. “you were incredible out there, and you deserve someone who can see that. someone who will tell you that every single day. you… i know you love him, but he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t get you, hyung.”
soonyoung reaches out one hand to brush the petals of the roses, pink like the dawn sky, but he doesn’t take them into his hand.
“but he’s the only one who loves me.”
“not the only one – you can’t possibly believe that.”
“well, who else is there?” soonyoung’s voice cracks as he speaks, and jeonghan can see the telltale sign of tears about to slip through the cracks.
“me, you dummy.” jenoghan’s heart is in his mouth, but the boulder is already rolling down the hill. he can’t stop this now. the words spill out faster than water through a broken dam, truth pushing its way to the fore. “that’s what i’m trying to tell you, soonyoung. you are a fucking supernova in the sky that is my life and i’ve loved you from the beginning.”