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"Enter any body of water and you give yourself up to be swallowed. Even the stones know that."
"beauty is terror"
"Would you fall in love with me again, if you knew all I've done? The things I can't undo. "
Calling all lovers of poetry and prose, rhyme and reason, screen and stage. Welcome to the Quotes Round, where every prompt must cradle a quotation (or two, or three). Mix the media and let the synergy birth a new order, or keep it short and let the subtext speak its secrets to the right writer.
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so i remember when we were driving
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: mcd, graphic violence/abuse
Prompt:
- Frank Ocean, Deathwish (ASR)
- Michael Miller, December
[FILL] remember the song called love
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: au, relationship on the rocks
Permission to remix: Please ask
a/n: wrote booseok as if with a gun to my head out of sheer disbelief that no one else did, given everything.
title from seungkwan's dream serenade.
***
"Hyung--ah, I'm sorry. I forgot my pills."
Seokmin has already started reversing out of their parking spot but he stops as soon as Seungkwan pipes up.
Seungkwan mutters another soft 'sorry' and unbuckles his seat belt and rushes off to the elevator.
His feet tap nonstop, all the way up, and when he keys the door open, the incriminating white and blue strip blinks up at him from their dining table.
He grabs it and dashes back to the car in record time.
Seokmin is scrolling through his KaTalk when Seungkwan jumps in hastily, dropping the Halcion on the centre console and almost slamming the door on his hand.
"Yah," Seokmin leans over to buckle him in, knuckles grazing Seungkwan's bare neck, the pale brown pullover across his chest. "We're not running late--there's no need to hurt yourself." He scolds.
Seungkwan just smiles, sensing another sorry isn't going to go down well.
"You didn't tell me you were back on the pills..."
You were never home, Seungkwan swallows again.
Seokmin chances a glance at him as the signal shifts from red to yellow, turning back once it goes to green. "Sleep bugging you again?"
"Yeah..." Seungkwan sighs, unwilling to lie when the packaging is recognisable as ever and Seokmin would know anyway; he always does.
Or maybe he should do it just to see if Seokmin will take him to account.
"Your show with Yeonkyoung-seonsu is in post-production, right? After that, you'll have some time to rest?"
"The company hasn't slated me for anything but Youngji's show is returning next month and she had already asked me to--"
"Assist the PD, right, I forgot about that. So has the switch happened already?"
Seungkwan shakes his head. "Sunbae is retiring this month and then I'm taking over..."
"...which means no break for you...god, you've just been working nonstop lately, haven't you?"
Seungkwan snorts and then outright barks out a laugh; he can't help himself.
Seokmin's eyes shoot to him and then away again.
"What?"
"You're one to speak. Weren't you supposed to take a few months off after working on that project group album?"
"It was just lyrics...Dowoon hyung did most of the production--" Seokmin's right hand comes off the steering wheel to rub at the tiny scab on his jaw. "And you know the guys have been itching to get back on tour ever since that Run To You trend broke out. It just makes sense, timing-wise."
"And what about us, 'timing-wise'?" Seungkwan mutters under his breath.
A loud honk follows them down the street until Seokmin gives way, nothing more than a side-eye spared for the frustration.
"Huh? Did you say something?" He asks, distractedly. "You don't want me to stop for coffee, right? If you're back on your meds, it would be best for you to hold off." Seokmin tacks on before Seungkwan can respond.
"No," Seungkwan clears his throat. "I don't want anything."
It's a quiet morning on the road, or maybe they've just missed the morning traffic by waking up later than planned. Either way, Seokmin is pulling onto the expressway far earlier than Seungkwan had expected.
"Should we stop at Anseong for some sotteok-sotteok?"
"Hyung, let's just get to Daejeon before noona goes into labour." He lies back against the seat, turning to look out the window.
Seokmin instinctively adjusts the headrest behind him without looking away from the road. It pinches Seungkwan's neck when it's too high.
He doesn't ask any more questions and Seungkwan doesn't bother dredging up what has already long since sunk into his belly.
But for a brief moment, he had wanted to--to press the issue, pick a fight, let the bile rise to his tongue if it must.
A fight would probably do them some good.
He would embrace the quick-to-anger, petty, easily-provoked Seokmin of their early twenties in a heartbeat now. His words, no matter how callous, can't maim Seungkwan like they used to.
Nothing can hurt worse than this tepid distance they've settled into, every touch a lukewarm shadow of their affection, where once the mere hint of a smile from Seokmin could render him molten like standing under direct sunlight.
Seungkwan forces his eyes shut, lest they give him away with their moistness--he shoves his neck into the space between the seat and the window, body tilting as far away from Seokmin as physically possible inside the car.
The darkness builds, slowly, then all at once.
*
Seokmin is singing. That's the first thing he registers when he comes to. It's 10cm--no, Soran. One of their noraebang favourites from university, back when they first started stealing away from their friend group to "talk about music", which turned into singing, which turned into singing-and-kissing and then eventually giving it a name, as scary as it was. All that courage only for everyone around them to have already considered their coming together to be a given.
But Seokmin is singing in the car while driving. He hasn't done that in...Seungkwan doesn't remember the last time he did it.
Maybe when they had rented the van to drive down to Busan for Wonwoo's wedding?
"Yah, Boo Seungkwan," A sharp jab lands on his cheek. "Stop pretending to sleep. What could be more important than joining me on the last chorus right now?"
Seungkwan reluctantly lets his eyes flicker open. Seokmin's got his jacket draped over the back of his seat, and his chequered shirt rolled up to expose his forearms, fingers tapping the downbeat against the steering wheel.
It's hot, but even hotter is the face-splitting smile struggling to stay in place as he croons. It's familiar like the tang of his mother's jimchi and warm like every memory of being held in those strong arms--long nights spent waiting for sleep to answer his call, pillows soaked in agonised tears as dawn came but never alone, arms permanently locked around his waist like a tether.
Seokmin's not a patient man when he's bursting with energy, trapped with nowhere to go. The next slap is to his shoulder; Seungkwan should've predicted it. Soran has given way to 10cm and Phonecert deserves better than his silent stupor.
Seungkwan joins in with a harmony with the practised ease of someone who has been singing with Seokmin longer than even his band has. So what if they haven't done this in a while? It's muscle memory, it's riding an old bike, it's breathing, all at once. The only thing harder than singing with Seokmin is not singing with him.
Seokmin shines one of those blinding grins at him for the effort and presses a predictable kiss to his cheek before Seungkwan can admonish him for looking away from the road too long.
10cm gives way to Kim Bumsoo, who gives way to Park Hyoshin, and invariably, they find their way to Buzz, like most men their age. And Seungkwan starts together with Seokmin, travelling past the first two verses, the quiet first chorus and the building second one. But when Seokmin launches into the bridge, fully belting now, "μμΌλ € νλ©΄ ν μλ‘ λ μνμ....μ λ° κ°λΌκ³ μμ£Ό κ°λΌκ³ ....," he can only sit still and listen.
Just like their first night at the noraebang, a decade ago.
The sky expands endlessly blue all around them and Seokmin sings and sings and sings.
*
"Seungkwan-ah. Seungkwan." A voice calls to him from far off in the distance, as the world shakes. "Seungkwan-ah, we're here."
There's a hand curled around his shoulder, pressing down hard. Pushing and pulling--oh. The world isn't shaking after all. It's just him.
"Seungkwan. Yeobo." The voice grows louder, too, and his body leans forward, trying to get closer to the source of it.
Awareness slams into him as he jerks out of his seat. The seatbelt and Seokmin's hand prevent him from hitting his head on the dashboard, but it's a close call.
"Uhh?" He looks around. "Oh, sorry. Are we?"
"We're here." Seokmin nods and takes his hand away. He steps out.
Seungkwan stumbles out behind him, rubbing the crust around his eyes.
The sky stays dark no matter how many times he blinks to push away the remnants of sleep.
"Let's hurry inside. Noona's already been admitted and.." He tilts his head back before turning to Seungkwan with a grimace. "It looks like it's going to rain."