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"the poem begins not where the knife enters, but where the blade twists"
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[FILL]: history is for fools
Major Tags: mcd (past character death), wound description
Additional Tags: inception inspired universe, dreamscapes, memory
Permission to remix: Please ask
*****
Time is linear,â¨
Memory is a stranger,â¨
History is for fools....
â Roger Waters, Perfect Sense, Part I
Jihoon jolts awake to the feeling of falling once again, sweat cooling on his chest and heart racing in his throat. He clenches his fingers into the worn out material of his sheets and waits until he can no longer taste blood in the back of his mouth, doing the slow breathing he read about online when researching panic attacks at 3am.
The shabby white walls tilt slightly as he stands. One hand shoots out to steady himself, knocks at the edge of a framed picture on his bedside table, thick with dust. âSorry,â he croaks, although the room remains empty.
His mouth feels full of chalk as he moves through to the bathroom, wipes a hand across the mess that is a mirror and inspects his too-long hair and the heavy bags under his eyes. The tube of toothpaste is twisted and mangled in his palm, spitting out just enough for Jihoon to feel like his teeth are clean, and he grips the edge of the sink as he brushes to keep himself steady.
From the bedroom, his phone buzzes, which is odd because itâs rarely got enough charge these days to receive messages. It makes Jihoon frown, but he tramps through to investigate. Itâs from Junhui, asking if heâs ready for today.
He isnât, but he composes a lie that sounds almost trustworthy when read off a screen.
The clothes on the floor are clean enough for him to wear again, if a little wrinkled. Not that that matters in his line of work exactly. His cupboards are bare, but he knows that Wonwoo will bring enough food for the three of them to the cramped warehouse they use as an office.
Junhui refers to them as spies, but Jihoon prefers to think of them more as archaeologists: diving into the muck and dirt of other peopleâs minds to dredge up whatever it is they think their buyers might be interested in. Sure, it might not be the only part of the job, but it is the part he foregrounds in his own mind.
The first time he entered someone elseâs dreamspace he was so violently sick when he emerged that he thought heâd never have the guts to go back in. It had been Soonyoung who had convinced him to try again, had been Soonyoung whoâd held him close until heâd stopped shaking.
The pastry is dry but the coffee Wonwoo supplies is hot and dark and strong, so Jihoon doesnât complain. He scowls as Junhui fiddles with a pistol, familiarising himself again with the springs and locks in a way that screams of compulsion more than necessity. He doesnât remember anything about weapons in the brief. Maybe he needs to be reading his emails more carefully.
âShould be relatively easy. In and out job,â Wonwoo is saying, checking a floor plan again. âItâs taken me three weeks to build the layout of his childhood home exactly down to his daddyâs dirty magazines under the bed.â He glances over to see if Jihoon is listening, which he mostly is. âThe plans should be here, in the study. Thereâs a safe behind the ugly painting of the lady with a weird dog, code is written down here. Memorise it.â
The slip of paper glides into Jihoonâs line of vision, the numbers already pressed deep into his brain. Theyâve been over this before, but itâs always better safe than sorry.
âHeâs hired some extra protection so, Junhui, youâll need to take care of them. Jihoon, try to get up through the house without the kid seeing you. If he does, donât freak out. Just make sure youâre wearing a mask.â
Jihoon nods. He hates wearing anything that covers his face when he works, finds that it makes him claustrophobic. But he understands the necessity of the request. If their target sees him in the dream as a child, heâll remember him when he wakes up as an adult. And that will cause a whole sea of problems for them and their client going forwards. Problems they could do without.
He remembers when Soonyoung first tried to talk him through the idea of non-linear time, of the way dreams and memories warp and contort the forwards flow of something that Jihoon had always thought was ever so simple and straightforward.
âIf you can visit it in a dream,â Soonyoungâs mouth had been curled up at the edges, the sheets wrapped loosely around his waist, âif you can picture it in a memory, then surely someone else would be able to be able to see it too. And surely that someone would be able to take what they saw in that dream back into the real world, just like you can.â
âYes, but what would be the point?â It had been far too early for Jihoon to be pondering such questions, even as his stomach had churned in excitement at the idea. âSo you can visit your best friendâs spank bank? No thank you.â
Soonyoung had laid down, laughter billowing out in front of him like a balloon. âNo, silly.â A hand, careful against Jihoonâs face. âThere are far more exciting things that we could do.â
Wonwoo had been the first to join after that, then Junhui a short time later. Although no one outside of the four of them knew their names, there were lots of very important people in the world who knew about them and were very keen to meet them â either to shake their hands or to put a bullet in their brain. Either way, Jihoon was keen to keep his face off the front pages and keep his pockets lined with cash made by what some were calling âthe greatest threat to personal privacy of this centuryâ.
âThe main trick,â Soonyoung had explained shortly before their first mission, âis to make sure you make it out before theyâve even cottoned on youâre there.â Heâd hesitated, pulling on a black balaclava made out of an old pair of tights. âWell, that and donât get shot, I guess.â
The falling asleep is always the easiest part for Jihoon, especially with the agent they pump directly into their bloodstreams. If he thinks about it too hard, it feels like dying. So he tries not to think about it too hard.
Wonwoo was right, the job was almost pitifully easy. Jihoon hears the muffled shots as Junhui dispatches the guards â his fussing with the gun earlier clearly having paid off â and enters the study shortly after. The painting, the safe, the code are all exactly as Wonwoo said they would be, and Jihoon almost feels a sense of comfort falling over him as he pulls out the plans and lays them down on the floor.
He likes to tell himself that he wasnât just drawn into this scheme because of his eidetic memory, that he has other qualities which make him a valuable part of the team. Itâs just, if you asked him to name them, he might come up short compared to the others.
But he also tells himself that he doesnât need to be anything other than a cog of the right size and shape in this well oiled machine that theyâve built. They all have their place and heâs long since come to accept his.
âItâs tricky, this one.â Soonyoungâs voice is hazy, more static than sound. Jihoon clamps his lips together and forces himself to focus. âYouâre out of practice, old friend.â
âShut up.â Jihoon breathes through his nose and turns the page, ignoring the way his hand shakes and rustles the paper a little.
Soonyoung eases himself to the floor, the leather of his shoes creaking against their laces as he goes. He hovers in Jihoonâs periphery, clearly trying to get a look at what is in front of Jihoon. âDid you miss me?â The whisper tickles against Jihoonâs ear. âDo you miss me?â
Of course, Jihoon thinks, but he doesnât have time to get back into that now. âShut up,â he repeats, with less force this time. âPlease.â
âShh. Heâll hear you.â Soonyoung giggles. âIf he sees you itâs curtains. Youâre not wearing your mask.â And, just like that, Jihoon isnât. Breathing is a little easier for a moment until Soonyoung leans forwards and smiles directly at him. âCanât have you getting caught.â
A bead of sweat drops down onto the paper below Jihoon and he shuffles the pages again, tries to focus on the information Wonwoo had highlighted. âI wonât get caught.â
âThatâs what I thought.â Soonyoung adjusts his posture, splays out more on the thin rug. âThatâs what we all thought.â His voice is only vaguely cruel this time. Jihoon has certainly heard worse.
He remembers toying with the tech when they first got their hands on it, him and Soonyoung carving out the rules for this new, dangerous they had decided to play with.
âYou can take nothing in except whatever you can imagine,â Soonyoung had explained to Junhui on their first trip as a three. Heâd always been much better with words than Jihoon. âAnd you can bring nothing out except what you remember.â
âIs it true?â Junhui had asked, looking somewhere between bored and engrossed in the way only he can. âWhat happens if you die in a dream?â
Soonyoung and Jihoon had exchanged a glance then, the argument already well worn between them. âI think itâs better we try not to find out,â Soonyoung had said slowly. âDying in someone elseâs dream could only lead toâŚcomplications. Besides,â heâd grinned, recovering himself quickly, âweâll only have to find out if one of us gets caught. And that isnât going to happen.â
Footsteps outside and Jihoon feels his heart miss a beat. There is a light knock at the door, then Junhuiâs voice. âYou good to go? Weâve got about two minutes left on this dose.â
Soonyoung sits up, alert and watching Jihoon. There is a glint in his eyes that seems almost like a dare.
âYou go now.â Jihoon keeps his voice low. âI need one more minute here. I have one more page.â He has more than that, but heâll have to hope that what he already has will be enough. He rifles through the pages again, then shoves them back in the safe, carefully moving the painting back to its place.
âYouâre leaving.â Soonyoungâs voice is full of pout, the way it always gets when heâs sulking. âAlready?â
Jihoon turns, takes a deep breath and looks Soonyoung steady in the face. He takes in the mess of his missing eye, the cavernous wound where the bullet tore its path through his skull. He hates that this is how he remembers Soonyoung. Then again, he doubts he could every forget seeing what he did. âI canât take you with me.â
âYou could try.â Soonyoungâs fingers grip Jihoonâs wrist, tips clawing in. âYouâve never tried before.â
Heâs wrong, of course. Itâs the only thing Jihoon has ever really tried to do.
âNothing in, nothing out.â Jihoon is parroting Soonyoungâs own words back at him. âYou have to let me go.â Thatâs rich, he thinks to himself. Coming from him.
Soonyoung grips tighter, his breath heavy. Fury and betrayal and hurt swirl in the pits of his eyes, cheeks flushing as he digs into Jihoonâs skin. Footsteps again from beyond the door, lighter this time, a childâs. Jihoonâs sign to leave.
The drug works fast as it wrenches him awake, the feeling of Soonyoungâs thumb tight against his pulse point. Before he plummets, he sees Soonyoungâs mouth twist. âSee you tonight.â
He slams awake as the door to the study opens, knows the boy doesnât have enough time to see his face.
Wonwoo is stood there with a bottle of water and a frown. âYou good?â he asks. âTook you longer than normal.â
Jihoon is already reaching for the paper and pencil, sketching out the drafts he saw before they can fade. His hand moves fast, the shapes deliberate and practiced. âFine,â he grunts. âJust rusty.â
âJunhui says he thought he heard you talking to someone.â Wonwoo doesnât sit, doesnât hover like he used to. Heâs eager to send off the drafts to their buyer, keen to get things moving again. âThat canât be right, can it?â
The plans arenât as detailed as they might be, but theyâll do. Jihoon pushes the paper towards Wonwoo and stands, rolling his wrists. âKidâs off his rocker,â he scoffs. âIt all went super smooth in there. Same as it always does.â
Beneath the sleeve of his jacket, the semicircular grooves sting as they seep wet blood into the soft cotton of his shirt.
*****
ao3
Re: [FILL]: history is for fools
[REMIX] Limbo
Major Tags: mcd (implied? past?)
Additional Tags: inception-y au
Permission to remix: Please ask
***
the ghosts of past inception aus would not leave me alone...just...soonyoung and limbo y'know...
The job puts them on the back foot right from the start.
The markâs mental defenses are stronger than they should be, a little too wary for them to get to him and his things alone, so they fall back to the secure room Wonwoo had hidden behind an innocuous bookshelfâone that only they would know to enter in the first place. Itâs a smaller mirror of their set-up in reality, with chairs and IVs already arranged in anticipation of their entrance.
âYou were right,â Jihoon sighs once the door has clicked flush, already claiming a seat for himself. Just as uncomfortable as its twin in reality is to sit on, too. âHeâs way too defensive when we havenât even done anything suspicious.â
Junhui doesnât look happy about being proven right, but theyâd already discussed a contingency for this type of scenario before they began. IV bags are primed and needles go in arms, a free arm hovering over the timer attached to the tubesâ clamps. They had agreed on twenty minutes in the main dream to be safe, which with the time dilation deeper down should be more than enough for them to get the job done.
A quick refresher of the plan, and then Jihoonâs eyes droop shut, and he drops.
âIâll have a backup layout for the next layer down, but weâll have to be even more careful there,â Wonwoo warns, underlining the notes he had jotted down for himself.
âWonât it be easier for us to be undetected, once weâre deeper in the dream?â Junhui asks. Jihoon bites down a sigh and spins his pen around his fingers.
âIt will be, but itâll also be much more dangerous if we are.â Wonwoo has far more patience than Jihoon. âIf we donât wake up at the right time to then synchronise our return to the main dream, we might get pushed even further down. And...â
âThatâll make it a pain in the ass for us to get you out, so letâs not have to worry about it in the first place,â Jihoon cuts in.
He doesnât know the exact kinds of calculations Soonyoung had been working on, but he knows that the further down you went, the exponentially greater the time dilation became between the layers. They had experimented with the first three enough times to be relatively certain of the difference, but any deeper and things got a bitâstranger. Three layers were already pushing it, really.
Soonyoung had had a theory that the level of dilation varied between individual dream instances, but they hadnât been able to try it together enough times to be sure.
They had split up as soon as they landed in the newest dream, so Jihoon is already half-expecting the teasing brush against his back as he quickly rifles through desk drawers.
âI missed seeing you this far down.â A proprietary hand gently cups his side, right under the crease of his arm, and Jihoon can feel his nerves jump at the touch. He doesnât turn around.
âI didnât come here for you,â he says, eyes still scanning mechanically over the dream-records for anything of interest.
âYou wound me.â The words come in a static-laced whine.
Heâd shrug off the hand if he could. Instead, he does his best to ignore its persistent heat against his skin as he continues his rote movements. But even as he looks, he knows that this study wasnât where their mark had chosen to store the information they were after. His sigh is more of exasperation than disappointment.
âYou figured it out, then? Youâre barking up the wrong tree here.â
Jihoon finally turns aroundâhis clothing has changed since the last time he saw him, but Soonyoung otherwise is unchanged. Of course he is.
âIâm not here for your commentary eitherâif you arenât going to be helpful then stay quiet,â he hisses. Then, reluctantly, ââplease.â
âBut I know where it is!â Soonyoung says, eyes round and wide. âI can show you the way.â
Jihoon doesnât ask how Soonyoung knows what heâs afterâthereâs not much that he doesnât know, now.
âWhy?â He asks instead.
Soonyoung rocks back on his heels, cocks his head innocently.
âWhy not?â
âAnd you justâdidnât see any reason to mention how guarded it might be, still?â Jihoon asks in a harsh whisper, peering down at the safe room. The markâs mental protections came in the form of security guards, which were pretty standardâthe constructs were lightly chatting to each other, so they certainly werenât on high alert, but the fact that they were there at all was troubling. At least they hadnât noticed Junhui, who was slowly sneaking closer to their positions.
âWhy? Donât you trust the team to handle it?â Itâs a tone of voice heâs more used to hearing from Soonyoung, nowadays. He doesnât even shiver when he feels a wisp of his presence brush against the back of his neck.
He does tense when another guard walks into view, from where heâs observing from his vantage point. Junhui wouldnât be able to see him yet, but it certainly looked like their paths would intersectâwith Junhui at the disadvantage.
âNot if theyâre going to get caught,â Jihoon hisses. Theyâre both moving slow enough that heâll have the time to spare to try to take down the guard before he discovers Junhui, if he hurries down to the ground level. He whirls away from the railing to begin his descent, but a sudden tight grip on his wrist jars him to a stop.
âDo you know how long itâs been since I last saw you?â Soonyoung asks pleasantly, tugging Jihoon back to face him.
âWhatâWednesday night, in my dreams?â He scoffs, tugging harshly back. Thereâs a little bit of anxiety stirring in his stomach when Soonyoung refuses to loosen his grip.
âWe used to talk about it all the time, donât you remember?â Soonyoung shakes his head with a click of his tongue.
âA week, a month, a yearâI lose track so easily without you around.â
In a blink Soonyoung disappears, his wrist releasedâbut Jihoon feels his hands resettle on his shoulders from behind.
âLook, Hoonie. You wonât make it down in time anyway.â Soonyoungâs chin drops onto his shoulder as he whispers, and Jihoon hates himself as he obediently steps back to the railing.
Soonyoung is rightâheâd only just make it to the ground by the time the guard catches sight of Junhuiâs back, and by then itâd all be over. Of course, if Soonyoung hadnât interrupted in the first place, would he have been able to make it in time?
âYouâll need a distraction, and itâs been so long since weâve spent some quality time together. So, so long.â
Heâs quick enough to put the pieces together, but too slow to react before Soonyoung is already pushing him over the edge.
They were high enough that he can see one of the guards happen to notice the masked figure falling down above him, and the other two look up in unison. He hopes Junhui doesnât.
âIf itâs not the real dream, then itâll just kick you out of it, and youâll wake up in the main one,â Soonyoung says with a shrugâspeaking with the easy confidence of someone who tried it once. Jihoon is a little more sceptical.
âSo, whatâwe can just make a bunch of dreams inside dreams, and all you need to do is kill yourself and end them?â
âIt'd be more complicated than that, butâyeah, in theory?â Soonyoung crosses his arms defensively. âItâs not like itâs easy to test it out with just the two of usâto be safe we should just be setting really short timers on the nested dreams, and wake up normally from each one.â
Soonyoung never did get to tell him whether it worked in practiceâat least, not in any way he could trust. And that was answer enough, right?
Re: [REMIX] Limbo
i just like ... man i love soonyoung i love that hes like. unsettling but for no distinct reason in this and jihoon is so over it but also cant get enough like honestly same.
i know you said there might be more and please please please i neeeed it !!! this was so good i need to go lie down on the floor for real for real !!! <3
Re: [REMIX] Limbo