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"Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time."
"How inconvenient to be made of desire."
"It's me, hi, I'm the problem its me."
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Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None, go crazy!
Prompt:
[FILL] swipe
Major Tags: The mortifying ordeal of seeing the same person on every dating app
Permission to remix: Please ask!
***
Joshua lets Seungcheol choose the restaurant this time.
He does this for a couple reasons: one, because heâs nice, and the other, because heâs tired.
They arenât dating. Like, Joshua calls his mom a couple times a month and she asks him if heâs seeing anyone and his answer is no. Describing their time together in any way that would get his motherâs hopes up feels mean.
Itâs December. Joshua is on date 38. Seungcheol is on date 34.
â
Seungcheol chooses an italian place that Joshua always walks past on the way to the gym. It smells good outside, and itâs a dim place with a faux-wooden entryway and dead plants hanging in the foyer. Theyâre seated near a window and shown a wine list that Joshua finds to be both small and underwhelming.
Still, he orders them something decent and finally, they can start.
âSo,â Seungcheol says, swirling his wine around in his glass. âItâs been a while. Youâre up to 38?â
âMm. Yeah,â Joshua sips his wine, feels it run over his teeth. Hopes it doesnât stain.
âHow was it?â
This is how it always, always goes. They wouldnât work, exactly, but they work well enough for what they both need. Someone else who gets it. Someone else who hates being alone enough to entertain anyoneâs company.
âGood enough,â Joshua says. âHe took me to Rolling Pin, and then a cafe closer to him.â
His date had inched them, block by block, cafe by cafe, back to his place, where he plied Joshua with wine and kindness and Joshua accepted. Always did.
âWhat do you think?â Seungcheol raises an eyebrow.
âNot⊠not it.â Joshua slides a finger against the rim of his glass, wondering if he can touch it just right, so it makes a high-pitched howl. It doesnât whine under his finger.
Seungcheol looks sympathetic. âOn to the next,â he says, raising his glass for a halfhearted cheers.
âYou?â Joshua says after swallowing another sip.
Seungcheol smiles, a little sad. âNothing good. I met up with 27 but it didnât go anywhere.â
Joshua remembers 27 from pictures. Short and a little shy, Seungcheol had said, but he smelled good.
Seungcheol continues, âAnd then I saw someone new last week but it turns out weâd matched on Tinder a while ago and he ghosted me back then. And that was sort of⊠hard to build off of.â
Joshua purses his lips in sympathy. He doesnât get why Seungcheol is doing repeats.
In fact, Seungcheol is the only guy Joshuaâs seen more than once since he moved to Seoul. He just doesnât see the pointâwhat would he get out of someone that he canât see immediately.
Their date was decent, actually. Joshua liked the wine. He liked Seungcheolâs gums, his laugh, the way he paid the bill, shiny watch on his wrist.
He liked how Seungcheol put a soft hand on his back as they walked to the train. Not quite low enough to be scandalous, but low enough to give Joshua something to think about.
It wasnât good enough, though. So, whatever. It was fine. Joshua didnât seek out another date because he wasnât looking for good enough.
But still, Seungcheol kept popping up. Joshua would make a profile on a new platform and on swipe number seven, Seungcheol would pop up. Tinder. Hinge. OkCupid. Grindr.
Seungcheol. Seungcheol. Seungcheol.
Maybe he was the only one who could understand the gnawing emptiness Joshua was trying to fill. Other people disappeared, fell in love and deleted their profiles, but never Seungcheol.
So, he texted him. Asked him how it was going.
Here they are now.
The pasta comes and they split two dishes, a steak and a fish. Seungcheol gives him more steak and Joshua gives him more fish.
Joshua wonders if this would be enough for someone else. A person who knows what he likes. A person who wants him to eat well.
He gets tipsy off the wine, without meaning to. Tipsy enough that the light painting Seungcheolâs face makes him look new. And then Joshua considers. Thinks. Imagines.
What if he could try being someone else tonight?
He gently lowers his fork and knife, suddenly full. He takes the time to look at Seungcheol, at the smear of oil on his lip and the grown-out length of his hair, and he tries to look at him like heâs never seen him before. Tries to point out the flaws, and finds none. Finds someone he could see again.
They take turns paying, and this time itâs Seungcheolâs turn. That, too, makes Joshua feel new. They bundle back up, scarves and gloves and coats and Joshua drops his wallet in the rush and Seungcheol stoops down to grab it for him, patting him gently on the shoe before standing and Joshuaâs stomach flutters a little.
He canât remember why he didnât call Seungcheol back.
He canât remember why he didnât take Seungcheol home.
They share a cigarette outside the restaurant, leaned up against a planter. Joshua canât stop thinking about indirect kissesâsuch a stupid, childish concept. He tries to keep his lips as much off the filter as he can, but every time he brings it back to his mouth itâs cold, wet from Seungcheolâs spit.
They walk to the train in comfortable silence, shoulders rubbing together, and Joshuaâs heart beats like heâs been running. Doesnât he want this? Can he want this?
At the last second, heâs brave enough to thread his hand through the crook of Seungcheolâs arm and pull him a little closer.
Seungcheol looks at him, red-cheeked and confused.
Joshua doesnât know what to sayânothing really feels like the right thing. Nothing feels like how heâs feeling right now, tipsy and warm and cold and scared and here.
âDo you want toâwould you come back with me? To my place?â Joshua asks.
Seungcheol looks away from him, his breath turning into clouds. Then he smiles.
âLead the way,â he says.
Re: [FILL] swipe
Re: [FILL] swipe
love how we get joshua who is like. trying to be chill about Seeing Seungcheol but he has quite possibly never been chill in his entire life . sweetie let him in. let him in. he would love to be there. &&& the end, where seungcheol is so handsum and sparkling and smiles (lead the way!) YEAH!
Seungcheol. Seungcheol. Seungcheol. this one line and the surrounding ones but most especially this line. for redacted reasons im going to have to lay down and quite possibly never get up
Re: [FILL] swipe
Re: [FILL] swipe
Re: [FILL] swipe
Re: [FILL] swipe
I enjoyed all the little details throughout, like the cafe-hopping tactic and the damp shared cigarette - the story feels so real even with just a single scene. Thank you for sharing!!
Re: [FILL] swipe
They share a cigarette outside the restaurant, leaned up against a planter. Joshua canât stop thinking about indirect kissesâsuch a stupid, childish concept. He tries to keep his lips as much off the filter as he can, but every time he brings it back to his mouth itâs cold, wet from Seungcheolâs spit.
I thought this was such a good and interesting image!
Re: [FILL] swipe
[FILL] i got nothing to lose
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: drunken nonsense, why not date if the press reports that you are?, #leaderproblems
Permission to remix: Yes
***
Everything that happened only happened because Seungcheol wanted to go on a date with someone, and seized an opportunity when it presented itself.
Who could blame him for that?
--
âWell, we could, um,â Seungcheol rubs his palm against the back of his neck. âTake my car?â
âOr mine?â says, Jihyo. She makes to gesture to her own car, then stops, diverting her hand to run through her hair.
Seungcheol looks up at the roof of the parking garage briefly. This is awkward. He never should have agreed to thisâor, rather, initiated thisâbut here he is anyway.
âWe could take a cab?â Jihyo suggests, with a bright smile.
Seungcheol holds back a sigh of relief. âGreat idea!â
--
When the articles first came out, Seungcheol had assumed it was a joke. Seventeenâs SCoups Spotted with Twiceâs Jihyo! It sounded like a prank, though he had no idea who would find it funny. He and Jihyo are workplace acquaintances, at best. Fraternizing between his group and hers isnât exactly unheard of, but aside from a few dinners which Seungkwan organized and then bullied him into attending (âHyung you have to come! I made everything so awkward and you have to help me fix it!â), Seungcheol has never interacted with Jihyo off-the-clock.
Whoever the guy was in the pictures, though, did look a lot like him from behind.
Management texted him a very terse is this you? about an hour after the pictures were released and half an hour after JYP Entertainment released a statement which read we will have to check with our artist before confirming or denying this report.
Of course, it wasnât him. Seungcheol had no idea who the guy in the pictures was. But instead of answering the text (or the subsequent third, fourth, tenth, and twentieth texts) from management, he wandered around the dorms in pursuit of Jihyoâs phone number.
For reasons unknown, Vernon had her number saved in his phone and gave it to him without so much as an arch of his perfect eyebrow.
This is how Seungcheol ended up texting Jihyo: lol hey this is Choi Seungcheol, I guess weâre dating?
But none of that explains why they are here, now, ostensibly on an actual date while they hail a cab in the rain. And the more Seungcheol tries to remember how they got here, the less clear it seems.
--
They started out at lunch in a very discreet restaurant, the kind of discreet restaurant that would absolutely make the rumors look true if either of them were spotted going inside. Therefore, Seungcheol wore a facemask, beanie, and trench coat for good measure. It was raining, after all.
âOh,â was the first thing he said when he walked into the small private dining room and found Jihyo already sitting there, looking very pretty but dressed completely normally.
She stood up and bowed and greeted him properly and he bowed and greeted her properly and then they were sitting at the table with a bowl full of soup between them and Seungcheol was beginning to suspect that he was actually an idiot.
âIt was my middle school friend,â Jihyo said abruptly.
He looked into her big beautiful eyes and tried to swallow. âWhat?â
âThe guy in the photos,â she explained. âThe company was just going to say that, but then you texted me, and we were likeâwell, itâs hard to date in this industryâI mean, you knowââ She trailed off, circling her chopsticks around in her bowl and pulling up noodles that she immediately dropped back in.
âAre you dating him?â Seungcheol asked, stupidly.
âWhat? No.â Jihyo laughed. âI havenât dated anyone inâI canât even remember how long.â
Seungcheol grinned. âSame.â
And at that, Jihyo leaned across the table with a conspiratorial smile on her face. âNo pressure, butâdo you want to ditch this restaurant thing?â
--
And thus, they are in the back of a cab heading toward Incheon, because Jihyo likes a cafe there orâsomething? Seungcheol is kind of unclear on the details, because he keeps worrying about whether he looks stupid in his trenchcoat and forgetting to pay attention. In the cab, he takes it off, awkwardly bending his arms to avoid hitting Jihyo in the face.
âDo you want help?â Jihyo asks.
âNo, Iâmââ Seungcheol hits himself in the face. ââfine!â
They make polite small talk for the rest of the cab ride, mostly discussing various back-up dancers, makeup artists, and production crew they both know. The cab driver has the radio turned to political radio and keeps talking back to the host, which makes Jihyo pause, tilt her head, and giggle every time.
Itâs very attractive. Unfortunately Seungcheol is an idiot, but sheâs very attractive. Heâs smart enough to know that.
They get dropped off near the beach. Itâs still raining, and Jihyo opens an umbrella. Seungcheol puts his trench coat back on.
âI love this cafe,â Jihyo explains as they walk. âI havenât been here in a while, butâoh.â
They turn a corner and stop in front of a very much closed cafe. Seungcheol looks at himself in his trenchcoat in the reflection of the dark windows.
âWell, I guess thereâs only one thing left to do,â Jihyo says.
âWhatâs that?â
She gestures to a convenience store across the street. âGet a little drunk.â
--
They do not get a little drunk.
They get very drunk.
âI donât think anyone appreciates what I do for them,â Seungcheol slurs, supporting himself with one arm on the picnic table and the other wildly sloshing a can around. âLike, like, they donât get it.â
âOh my god!â Jihyo cries. âI know.â
âThey think itâs so easy!â
âBut itâs so hard,â Jihyo says solemnly. âIf theyâdâve had to be the leader, oh my god.â
âYeah! None of them couldâve done it.â
âNone!â
âWe shouldââ Seungcheol leans over the table, trying to whisper, but Jihyoâs face swims in front of his eyes. âWe should, like, tell them how we feel.â
âOh my god,â Jihyo cries, âYou are so smart.â
âNoneâve them âppreciate that either!â Seungcheol exclaims.
Jihyo fishes her phone out of her purse, which takes a while. In spite of the rain pouring down on the shelter over their table, Seungcheol feels very cozy and warm in his trench coat. âDâyou like my trench coat?â he asks.
âYeah,â Jihyo says, nodding, âItâs cool.â
âI thought so,â Seungcheol says.
âMâkay, shush, itâs ringing,â Jihyo says. She giggles, which makes Seungcheol giggle. This is so funny. He might totally be in love with Jihyo. Thatâs so funny too.
âHello?â
âNayeon-unnie!â Jihyo cries.
Thereâs a pause on the other end of the line. âAre you drunk?â
Jihyoâs brow furrows. âUm, nooooooooooo.â
âJihyo, itâs four oâclock in the afternoon.â
âOh my god,â Jihyo groans. âNone of you ever let me have fun. I wanna have fun! âN thatâthatâthatâssss whatâm calling you âbout.â
Silence. Seungcheol has to bite his fist to keep from laughing.
âItâs so hard being the leader!â Jihyo cries, and slumps over the table. âNone of you appreciate me!â
Seungcheol canât restrain himself. âYeah! We work so hard!â
âJihyo, are you with a boy?â
âHey!â Seungcheol cries out, indignant. âIâm a man!â
Jihyo nods furiously. âYeah! Heâs a man!â
âWhat âmanâ is this?â
Jihyo giggles. âItâs a secret!â
This strikes Seungcheol as insanely funny. Secret dates for secret friends. Her eyes are so pretty. He never wants to go home.
âOkay, can you send me a picture of this secret man so I know youâre safe?â
âOoooh,â Jihyo says, âThatâs such a good idea! Unnie, youâre so smart.â
She holds up her phone to take a picture of Seungcheol. He tries to pose with a cute peace sign, but kind of forgets to open his eyes. The picture must look good though, thanks to his trench coat.
âUnniee,â Jihyo says into the phone. âDid you get it?â
She frowns and holds up her phone for Seungcheol to look at.
âShe hung up on me!â
âThatâs so rude!â
âI know!â
âThey donât appreciate us at all,â Seungcheol says, resting his cheek on the picnic table. It feels so nice and cool.
âItâs your turn!â Jihyo says, tapping him on the head.
âRight!â Seungcheol sits up again.
Later, he will wonder why he was stupid enough to call Jeonghan. Surely, he is not that stupid even when that drunk. But, for whatever reason, he dials Jeonghan.
âJeonghannie!â he croons as soon as Jeonghan answers. âI gotta tell you something!â
âOh? Hang on a sec.â
Seungcheol looks up. âHe told me to hang on.â
Jihyoâs mouth drops open in a reflection of the indignation Seungcheol feels. Following some rustling on the other end of the line, Jeonghanâs voice echoes through the speaker again. âOkay, go ahead.â
âOh-kay,â Seungcheol says, âFirst of all, I think Iâm in love.â
âYou are?â Jihyo cries, delighted.
âShhh.â Seungcheol holds a finger up to his lips. âDonât tell Jihyo.â
âIs that all?â
âNoooo. I gotta tell you something. I never told you this before because, because, Iâm like. Protecting you. You know? But Jeonghannieee, itâs soooo hard to be the leader.â
âYou tell me that literally every single day.â
âYeah, but thatâs like,â Seungcheol cries, âYou know, not serious.â
âAnd youâre serious right now?â
âYes! Itâs soooooo hard. You need to appreciate me more.â
âWhere are you?â
âItâs a secret!â Jihyo cries out.
âAre you with a girl?â
âExcuse you!â Seungcheol nearly yells into the phone. âShe is a woman!â
âYeah!â Jihyo echoes, swaying in her seat.
âOkay, what woman is this, then?â
Seungcheol tries to think of her name but canât seem to get it to go from his brain to his lips, and ends up singing directly into the phone, âFancy! Youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!â
âRight, okay. You two going anywhere else?â
âSecret!â Seungcheol crows.
âYou owe me so bad.â
Seungcheol frowns at his phone. âOh my god, he hung up on me too!â
Jihyo shakes her head with leaderly disappointment. âThey are so mean to us.â
--
Around dusk, a car drives up to the parking lot near their picnic table. By this point, Seungcheol has draped his trench coat around both of them, and they are singing âAju Niceâ together. They sound absolutely amazing. Seungcheol is contemplating leaving Seventeen to start a group with Jihyo because they sound so good.
Two people get out of the car. Moments later, Jeonghan and Nayeon are standing in front of them. Jeonghan has a bubble tea in one hand and his phone in the other. Nayeon has both hands on her hips.
âOh no,â Jihyo giggles, âTheyâre mad.â
âWeâre in Incheon,â Nayeon says. She does sound pretty mad. Seungcheol giggles, too.
âAnd itâs raining!â Jihyo sighs. âAw, thatâs so nice, unnie. You take such good care of me.â
âRight,â Nayeon deadpans. âGet into the car, you assholes.â
Reasonably abashed, they both stagger to their feet and stumble in the direction of the car. Jihyo stops, though, and loops her arms around Nayeon.
âUnnie,â she says, clearly thinking sheâs whispering but not actually whispering at all. âYouâre so right. He has such a nice ass. I think itâs real, too.â
Seungcheol turns back around and slaps his hands against his butt. âIt is!â he cries, delighted. âNo butt pads! Thatâs cheating.â
âI knew it was real,â Jihyo says, pleased as she nestles closer to Nayeon. âI knew it.â
âI hate you both so much right now,â Nayeon says, somehow managing to extricate herself from Jihyo and push her toward the car.
With a lot of pushing (on Nayeonâs part), both Seungcheol and Jihyo end up in the backseat of the car, giggling and leaning against each other. Nayeon rounds on Jeonghan.
âThanks for nothing,â she snaps. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Seungcheol and Jihyo making matching shocked faces in the backseat.
Jeonghan shrugs and puts down his phone.
âAre you recording this?â Nayeon asks, aghast.
Jeonghan slurps on his straw. âYeah. You want a copy?â
Rolling her eyes, Nayeon turns back toward the car. âYeah, obviously.â
--
The next day, Seungcheol has a horrible hangover and only a very vague memory of day-drinking with Twiceâs Jihyo.
âSo, are you seeing her again?â Jeonghan asks. âYou look great, by the way.â
Seungcheol falls onto the couch and groans in reply.
âWhatâs wrong with him?â Seungkwan says, somewhere above him.
Seungcheol suddenly hears the tinny recording of his own voice emanating from Jeonghanâs phone. I think Iâm in love! Donât tell Jihyo! He groans again. This is all terrible.
âWell?â Jeonghan demands.
âGo away.â
âYou have to see her again!â Jeonghan cries. âI have an hour and a half of material here. And I havenât gotten to make fun of Seungkwan for his whole fiasco with them in a long timeââ
âHey! What do I have to do with this?â Seungkwan protests.
âJustâgo away,â Seungcheol says. Out of some kindness, they do, bickering as they disappear down the hall.
He picks up his phone and squints at it.
Letâs do that again sometime! reads the message on the screen. Well, maybe not the drinking part. But it was fun to let loose for once, right?
Seungcheol smiles to himself. Maybe dating isnât so bad, after all.
Re: [FILL] i got nothing to lose
I absolutely loveddd seungcheol's inner monologue, he's the stupidest dumbest boy ever I adore him!!! but also the way you showed the slow progression of him becoming more fond of jihyo and more attracted to her... and how much of that came from him *noticing* little things about her... idk it's just so genuine and true to life, this is how most people fall in love, not because of some big intense moment but just an accumulation of fondness and affection for someone!!! idk it just feels so youthful and fun and hopeful, all the best parts of young love and the early stages of dating and regardless of whether they get together romantically this was a cute flirty moment for them and that's valuable in and of itself for them!!! ahhh idk why I have SUCH feelings for this but I think we see so much intensity in fic when it comes to falling for someone that it's actually soooo nice to see the fun and lighthearted side of it too :)
also your dialogue is SO snappy and excellent as always and a big big big part of why this piece feels so airy and happy. also x2 nayeon + jeonghan need to get together and scheme and argue more. in case it wasn't clear i loveddd this
Re: [FILL] i got nothing to lose