17hols | Round 1 2023: Quotes

Round 1 2023: Quotes

Status: Closed

This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.

Seventeen Holidays

Round 1: Quotes

About

"Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time."

"How inconvenient to be made of desire."

"It's me, hi, I'm the problem its me."

Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy WeVerse drama.

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Rules

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Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too!
There is no maximum cap.
Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest).
NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged
NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview.

How it works

Prompting

Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post;
Change the subject;
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want!
Need ideas? Check out our 2021 and 2022 Quote rounds.

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Do Not Wants: None Prompt: <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote>

Filling

Reply to the original prompt;
You must change the subject to [FILL] - this is to help the mods track. Feel free to add a title
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text.
You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask ***

Remixing

Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
Change the subject to [REMIX].

Art/media

Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.)
Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it!
Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead.
(To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want)

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a>

Note!

On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it.

Navigation

< ROUND 1: QUOTES >

ROUND 2: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

2021

2022

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

ahhh thank youuuuu haha look I am *Insane* about yjh being the link between cheolsoo and what happened when he's gone. this prompt was a fun way to explore that in a darker context. thank you for reading hehehe

hohoho MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! we love to suffer

thank you so much!! I totally agree the 95z dynamic cannot be understood without yjh... and that's why it's especially fun to take him out and examine what's left, a big part of why I love cheolsoo tbh is that it's so delightful to remove yjh from the picture and see how messed up they become [rubs hands together] thank you for reading~

hehehehe thank you for reading!!

thank you for reading sorry for shattering you (not rly sorry hehe) <3

thank you!! I love apocalypse aus esp where people are surviving together but NOT REALLY LIVING wow pain is beautiful :) thank you for reading~

“Oh,” a voice says, and fear splits down Seongcheol’s spine like lightning hitting a tree.

this was so brief, and yet every word cracked right through me in the same way.

thank you!! yes it's so funny how mingyu doesn't even have any lines but his presence LOOMS LARGE. and I've recently become very unhinged about jeonghan and seungkwan, how similar they are but also the ways in which they are different. it was fun to write about them. thank you for reading!

OOPS!! (is not sorry)
- fun fact the gyuhan phone call was the central thing that I had in mind when I started writing this... even when things are not gyuhan they are gyuhan TO MEEEEE
- yes agree about yjh's list!! I think it sets up his approach to sex and why he won't have casual sex with anyone he actually likes romantically, because of what happened with coups. and that in turn sets up seungkwan figuring out where he stands in jeonghan's eyes (and heart) - esp compared to someone like mingyu.
- also "number eleven" was a happy coincidence, I hadn't realised it was sk's number in the team too until I reached the end of the scene and I was like wow this is perfect

maybe more horrible jeongkwan fic from me to come!! thank you for reading and commenting as always i love u

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh god wonhan is such an interesting pair because wonwoo thinks he’s too smart to be toyed with and jeonghan doesn’t really care who is smarter… im seriously obsessed with this.

this line, for me: Wonwoo wonders if he, too, is annoyed that he has to do this. It’s hard to tell, with Jeonghan. Wonwoo wishes that he could strap the band around Jeonghan’s chest and force him to tell the truth instead.

like so crazy to have the guy who lies more than anyone else administer the lie detector test and have the CANCER take the lie detector test. also the part with the pin was fully fucking insane to witness and such a good idea… wtf… thank you for writing this

Ship/Member: any performance unit member
Major Tags: possible consent issues
Additional Tags: android/robot performers, identity porn, can you be overworked and injured if you aren't human? can you love to perform? can you love? i've used this prompt before but i am greedy for interpretations of it
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Your liver pays dearly now for youthful magic moments
But rock on completely with some brand new components!

- Rock n Roll Lifestyle, CAKE

THIS IS SO CRAZY GOOD OH MY GOSH. i’ve always loved the way you tell stories &&& this is no different — its so rich and lush and fraught with feelings far beyond our scope of vision but when you bring it out, it’s just as fresh in jeonghan’s mind view. the dialogue! jeonghan realizing at the last moment that it’s not junhui but he gets shoved over the edge & wakes up! the ambiguity of it all :’0 i won’t pretend like i understand inception but tysm for writing

Ship/Member: 95z x mingyu/gyuhancheolshua
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

‘But it's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby/When I close my eyes/You come and you take me/It's so deep in my daydreams’ fantasy - mariah carey

Ship/Member: Minghao/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

i love you like a water sinks into soil. don't look at me. i told you i would evaporate.
(source)

Ship/Member: josh/any
Major Tags: explicit (if you like!)
Additional Tags: california setting, maybe oui'd mentions if you like, maybe cisswap!
Do Not Wants: MCD

Prompt:

you can travel the world/but nothing comes close to the golden coast

- 'california gurls', katy perry

Ship/Member: soonwoo
Major Tags: waking up from a dream where u are married to your roommate
Additional Tags: N/A
Permission to remix: Please ask

Soonyoung won’t stop letting the cat onto the kitchen counter. He says it’s because it’s where the cat wants to be, natural instincts dictating his actions.

Wonwoo watches Soonyoung cook, something too-spicy and bright red and possibly inedible, and he watches the cat watch Soonyoung from his perch on top of the toaster oven.

He had offered to help Soonyoung, but Soonyoung told him to just do the dishes after and they’d be good.

He’s only wearing underwear and an apron. He looks stupid, he’ll probably burn his nipple off or something. God, Wonwoo loves him so much.

The love moves through him, controlling his body for him, and then he’s up and crossing the kitchen.

Wonwoo buries his nose in Soonyoung’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around his middle.

“Oh! Hi,” Soonyoung says, worming his way deeper into Wonwoo’s grip until he’s too far from the stove to really cook right. He smells nice, like pepper and broth. Wonwoo breathes in deeply, pressing his face into Soonyoung’s warm skin. “Are you hungry?”

Wonwoo bites his shoulder, making Soonyoung scream. “Not me! The stew!”

Wonwoo replaces his bite with a kiss, talking into Soonyoung’s skin when he says, “Turn the stove off.”

“Hmm?”

“Turn the stove off, I want to…”

Soonyoung hums, his body swaying in Wonwoo’s arms. “It’s almost done, can’t you wait?”

“Only wanna taste you,” Wonwoo murmurs. “No stew-mouth.”

“You and stew are my favorites,” Soonyoung says, leaning forward to stir the pot. “I’ll taste both and be happy.”

Wonwoo hooks his chin over Soonyoung’s shoulder and kisses his neck, behind his ear. He pulls back and it’s like he can see the goosebumps on Soonyoung’s arms, the hair standing up.

“Ah,” Soonyoung sighs, “Okay, okay, okay, let’s—“ He turns in Wonwoo’s grip, hands coming up to cup his cheeks, and pulls him in for a sweet kiss.

Wonwoo wakes up.

He must have gotten hot overnight. His blankets are clotting at the end of his bed—his twin bed where he sleeps alone, with only a wall separating him and Soonyoung.

Soonyoung. His roommate.

Fuck. Wonwoo rubs his eyes, not ready to put his glasses on and face reality.

Next door, there’s a thump and then a grunt and Wonwoo wonders if Soonyoung fell out of bed again. Usually he thinks it’s funny, and it is funny, but today the image of Soonyoung, sleepy-eyed and sprawled on the floor, fills his chest with liquid gold.

Oh, this is not good. Wonwoo tries to calm his heart, beating out of his chest, and fails spectacularly.

It felt so real. He felt so warm.

The cat scratches at his door, begging for food. That felt real too—Soonyoung really does always let him on the counter. Soonyoung really does only know how to make kimchi jiggae. Soonyoung really does wear an apron over his underwear.

Nothing about that dream was a fantasy, except for the part where Wonwoo kissed him, bit him, tasted his skin. Held him.

He’s never thought about that before. Honestly, he’s never seen Soonyoung like that in his head. They’ve been around each other so long, lived together for so many years. Wonwoo just figured it would have happened by now, if it was going to happen. And when it didn’t, he took that as a sign.

It feels different now. Wonwoo doesn’t know where to be in his own body, what parts of himself to fill out. He gets up, feeling both too big for his room and so small he could get lost in the carpet. Outside, Soonyoung is already in the kitchen, slamming cabinets and putting metal utensils back in the drawer.

Wonwoo is scared to go out there. What if he wants to kiss him?

He makes a detour in the bathroom, splashing some water on his face and staring at himself in the mirror. He looks the same, bedhead and all. There’s a pimple forming on his upper lip. He forgot to wash his face after eating last night.

He opens the bathroom cabinet and spies his face wash next to Soonyoung’s. His moisturizer next to Soonyoung’s. His pimple patches, his serum. They share the same toothpaste because Soonyoung has a lot of toothpaste opinions and Wonwoo doesn’t care, only wants to save money. For Christmas last year Soonyoung bought them matching face wash headbands, tiger ears and cat ears. The two fuzzy piles are tangled together in the cabinet.

One time Soonyoung broke his toothbrush and they shared one, just for a night. At the time it was funny. Now it’s like another nail in the coffin.

Wonwoo can’t keep spiraling like this. The sight of their toothbrushes pointed at each other like they’re about to kiss can’t make him panic. He escapes the bathroom with his life.

Something in the kitchen smells good. Wonwoo rounds the corner with trepidation, expecting to see Soonyoung’s wide shoulders and narrow waist fully bare in the dying morning light. Thankfully, Soonyoung’s in a sweatshirt and he’s not at the stove, but sitting at their tiny table with a bowl of cereal perched in one hand, the other scrolling on his phone. Soonyoung watches Instagram reels at a volume that offends everyone in the building. Wonwoo listens to the first one second of several different songs before stepping fully into the kitchen and trying to be normal.

“Morning,” he says, his voice weird. Fuck. Okay.

“Hi,” Soonyoung says, not looking up from his phone. Wonwoo wants him to look, suddenly. “Can you still grab some milk on your way home? I used the last of it, sorry.”

“Yeah,” Wonwoo says. “Yeah, I can do that for you.”

“It’s your milk too,” Soonyoung reminds him, putting his phone down to take a huge bite of cereal. It’s only ever Frosted Flakes. “Sorry again. I was planning on eating something else.”

“No, it’s okay,” Wonwoo says. Look at me, he thinks. “I’ll grab something on the way. Did you cook something?”

Soonyoung flushes and looks at Wonwoo for the first time today. Wonwoo breaks out into a cold sweat. “I was trying to make bacon. But it had other ideas.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Wonwoo says. “At least the fire alarm didn’t go off again.”

“Ha-ha. Yeah, yeah,” Soonyoung grimaces and goes back to his cereal. Wonwoo tries his best to act normal as he opens the fridge. It’s bare and empty. He snags the last yogurt drink from the 3+1 deal they took advantage of and downs it in two seconds.

The cat hops up on the kitchen table and Soonyoung coos. “Hi baby, hi!”

“Don’t let him on the table, Soonyoung,” Wonwoo chides.

Soonyoung strokes the cat’s chin and says, “He likes to be tall. Right? Right? Oh, you’re cute. You’re my cute boy.”

Wonwoo can’t control the force of his feelings. He literally might stagger, his legs going a little weak. All this, over a dream? Wonwoo feels sick.

The worst thing is, it doesn’t go away. The feeling. Wonwoo floats to work, barely paying attention to anything. He helps a couple customers with restarting their computer, leaning over them, and thinks of Soonyoung. He takes some food orders and thinks of Soonyoung. He gives his coworker the keys before he leaves and thinks of Soonyoung.

This can’t last. Surely it can’t last. Surely he’ll go to bed tonight and have a dream where Soonyoung is his teacher and gives him an F and makes him cry and it’ll be back to normal.

He tells himself that as he curls up in bed, kicking off his socks. It’ll all be over soon.

He falls asleep.

In his dream, Soonyoung is cooking stew.

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: competition; rivalry; teammates; being the less favored son
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

While Ferrari insists that they do not have a number one driver, it appears to those on the outside that Leclerc is the preferred son, and Sainz, older by a few years, must play sidekick. Competitors placed in this strange, anti-sporting situation often come to loathe each other.

[...]

You ache for Sainz, though.

[...]

Sainz says that if he catches himself indulging in self-pity for any reason—“If on a given day I feel tired, or sad, or maybe something’s not quite right with me, if I’m in a bad mood and I don’t know why”—it is his habit to find a peaceful spot on the Maranello compound and repeat a mantra.

Ship/Member: Mingyu/Minghao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Avatar: The Last Airbender AU; violence (war)
Permission to remix: Yes

***

At dawn, Mingyu comes across a body.

Yesterday this was a town: square brick houses inside a set of white stone walls. Today he walks through a smoldering wasteland, wreckage of a Fire Nation battalion who took no prisoners and let it all burn.

But there is a body: bony, malnourished. Alive.

Mingyu stops and kneels beside the boy. He looks no older than Mingyu, and he’s badly burned. He may not live through the night, may not live another hour.

Mingyu lifts him up anyway, and carries him away.

—-

The boy lives. He says his name is Myungho with sharp eyes that focus on the fire in the hearth, which makes Mingyu wonder if he’s lying, but he decides not to press the question. After weeks of silence, he’s just glad to hear Myungho’s voice.

His burns are deep and angry red, in spite of the salves Mingyu applies liberally every few hours. But he begins to eat, and if nothing else, he listens to Mingyu talk.

“My friends wanted to go to Ba Sing Se,” Mingyu explains, picturing their faces. “I wanted to go home.”

“Where’s home?”

“Pohuai,” Mingyu answers.

“It’s under occupation.”

Mingyu scowls. “I know.”

“Why go back, then?”

Mingyu looks over at the boy in bandages and says, “I had to see what was left.”

—-

A few weeks go by. An Earth Kingdom battalion passes by a few miles away. Mingyu goes through the forest to look at them march, unwilling to show himself. He would enlist if it weren’t for his own mission, or for the boy currently asleep in the abandoned house where they’ve been squatting for the past month. In the sunlight, the soldiers’ uniforms ripple like green blades of grass in the wind.

“We need to move,” Mingyu says when he returns to the house.

“Why?”

“Why? We’re in a war zone, Myungho.”

Myungho looks at him with a vague scowl. “Everywhere is a war zone. The Fire Nation wants everything.”

Mingyu looks at him carefully. Scarred and thin, Myungho’s body is a symbol of the Fire Nation’s ravenous bloodthirst. He looks back at Mingyu, defiant. Unbending.

“Even so,” Mingyu says, “I’d like to live another day.”

—-

“My mother taught me to earthbend,” Mingyu says, gesturing to the shelter overhead. Rain patters against the roof, but inside, they are warm and dry.

“What happened to her?”

“She died in the siege,” Mingyu answers. He tries not to think of those weeks, the sky red with ash and smoke while he waited in his home, too young to fight but old enough to want to. “A Fire Nation soldier killed her with two hands. Like a demon.”

Myungho says nothing for a moment, staring into the campfire. “And your father?”

“Starved to death during the occupation,” Mingyu says bitterly. He throws the bones of their dinner into the flames. “Didn’t even know until it was too late that he was giving me and my sister all his rations.”

“What about her?”

“She’s why I have to go back to Pohuai,” Mingyu admits. “I have to try to find her.”

He’d still been a child when Seungcheol knocked on his door and asked him if he wanted to fight, murder in his eyes. Mingyu hadn’t hesitated to walk out the door, only glancing back to tell his sister to stay with their aunt, he’d be home soon. Five years later and Seungcheol’s Freedom Fighters turned out to be a big joke. Kids couldn’t win wars. No matter how violently they fought.

“I hope you do,” Myungho says, quiet.

“What about you?” Mingyu asks.

Myungho shakes his head. “I don’t have anyone,” he says. Mingyu hears horrors unknown in the silence that follows.

“Hey,” Mingyu says, putting his hand on Myungho’s shoulder. “You have me now.”

He grins. After a moment Myungho looks back at him, firelight reflected in his eyes, and almost smiles.

—-

A week later they come upon the rubble of a town. Charred beams of burned down houses stand like needles piercing the gray sky. Skeletons rest in the ash. Above the town flies a Fire Nation flag, red as blood.

“I hate them,” Mingyu breathes out, his voice hoarse. His hands curl into fists and he feels the ground beneath his feet tremble under the weight of his rage. “I hate them all.”

Myungho says nothing, silently surveying the remains before them.

“Are they monsters?” Mingyu asks. “How could anyone do this?”

When Myungho speaks, his voice is as dry as ash. “Most of them are just following orders,” he says. “That might be the worst part of all.”

—-

They make camp ten miles outside of Pohuai. Mingyu is on edge, nervous to be so close to home and yet uncertain of what he will find. He doesn’t light a fire and they sit in the dark under the shelter of a hole Mingyu cracks in a boulder. With his back against the earth, Mingyu lets himself breathe.

“Myungho,” he says into the dark, “will you stay with me?”

“Of course,” Myungho answers. “I’ll stay with you to the end.”

A while later Mingyu wakes to the smell of smoke and the crackling of fire in the sky.

He leaps to his feet, barely awake but moving on instinct. Soldiers advance like ghosts, their flames catching on the dry branches of surrounding trees and grass. Suddenly Mingyu stands in a circle of fire, Fire Nation soldiers cutting off every possible escape, and he realizes he is going to die.

He digs his feet into the earth and feels its familiar tremor in his bones. “Myungho,” he says quietly, “it’s been a good run.”

He feels Myungho approach his side. In his peripheral vision he sees Myungho’s scarred hand reach up to grip his shoulder.

“You’re not done yet,” Myungho whispers.

With a shout, the soldiers throw fire toward them. Before Mingyu can move, Myungho jumps in front of him.

He catches all the flames in his hands.

Myungho blazes, a comet rising from the earth. Mingyu watches in horror as Myungho turns to look at him, his face lit up like the sun.

“Xu Minghao?” cries one of the soldiers.

Minghao, a demon in the night, burns bright.

thank you so much for reading + leaving such a kind comment T___T thinking too about what they’ve both quoted, how companionship is the longest form of confession it's been like three years and i'm still not over this. 8jun (ಥ﹏ಥ)

thank you for the prompt! it was truly my pleasure to fill it <3

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

But sorrow is unreliable in that way. When people don’t share it there’s a good chance that it will drive them apart instead.

- Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove

Ship/Member: gyuhao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: touch-starved and emotionally constipated minghao
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

like any unloved thing, i don't know if i'm real when i'm not being touched.

- Natalie Wee

Ship/Member: Joshua centric, Gen
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Homesickness
Permission to remix: Yes

***

it begins with mingyu buying an apartment.

it begins with him grinning and seungkwan making a joke at his expense, everybody teaming up to tease without reason because that’s what they do with mingyu. it begins with joshua looking around and realizing something irreparable is changing, adulthood’s strings yanking each of them a little farther away from each other.

he tries to think about when he begins feeling that way. inadequate, guilty of half-belonging, fingers gasping for something to hold on.

(maybe it begins when he decides he wants to learn how to sing. maybe it begins the second he decides to board a plane across the ocean, always looking back, always worried about his next step.)

—

his mom calls after the news start to go around the parents. seungcheol and chan investing in real state, wonwoo acquiring a condo, jeonghan buying a fucking farm. seventeen still a group, but several of them finally moving out of the dorms to live by themselves.

she mentions the rise of housing prices there, lists a couple of neighbourhoods she thinks it’s smart to start investing.

he doesn’t know how to tell her this isn’t what he wants.

—

at dance practice, seokmin and mingyu argue with each other until it’s not pretending anymore. jeonghan watches from afar, body tense and eyes alert for the right time to better deescalate. joshua gets the choreography wrong too many times and soonyoung almost snaps at him, voice tense with frustration. joshua calls to order food and the ahjumma pretends she doesn’t understand one of the korean dishes he has trouble pronouncing, and the entire conversation is so horribly passive aggressive that he hangs up halfway through ordering.

—

visiting los angeles has the opposite effect of what he expected. the city is emotionally hot and cold, kind to him for one moment then hurtful for the next two beats; bumpy streets and air too humid, but a weather so beautiful he has never seem a sky more cerulean blue. food portions are big enough for two, excessive in a way he doesn’t enjoy - but the burgers are perfectly oily and grilled, and for a dozen of minutes he enjoys the grease all over his fingers.

he takes his mom and minghao out for dinner, and he can barely look at her in the eye when she talks about the recent house she toured in, how it’s big and perfect and has other places available nearby, too. she’s excited about it; joshua feels a pang of hurt by the way he is not making a decision, by not telling her what he has been thinking for the past couple of months.

minghao clocks in pretty fast; they have been bandmates for nine years, known each other for more than a decade. he goes along with joshua’s narrative the entire dinner. he is graceful about it in a way only minghao can be, quiet and contemplative, kind in all of his behavior. on the way back to the hotel, he doesn’t press joshua to talk about it.

instead, minghao draws him a bath. he stays in his room until joshua falls asleep, thumb going back and fort at the base of his neck, knots tender to the touch. he sings a lullaby in chinese, something about a little girl walking around the beach, and joshua’s throat closes up.

he tastes the los angeles air and it’s familiar, heavy and slightly salty, but he is homesick, homesick, homesick.

—

in the end, it’s jun who drags him out on the last day at the tour. joshua tries to wiggle out of it, claiming to be tired after performing the day before, but he can’t say no to jun. not when he is trying, not when he is sacrificing his alone time to curb joshua’s loneliness.

the conversation is stilted; joshua feels tired, stretched around his edges after having performed for two days straight. he knows it makes jun a little nervous; he hates dragged-out silences, can’t stand still even if his life depended on it. he fidgets; reaches for his phone four or five times.

joshua doesn’t have the energy to soothe him. sometimes it goes like this, with the people you care about. sometimes there is nothing to fill the space but the knowledge of love, languid and invisible, but still warm.

(to someone on the outside it would not be obvious, but joshua has trained eyes and trained hands and trained everything for him, for all of them. because this is how jun loves -

oh, here is a restaurant i want us to go. yes, i know it’s good, i went there myself once and ordered the stew and even asked if it has peanuts in case vernon wanted to come. yes it is delicious. let’s go, please let’s go, i want to show you something i love so you can love it too. so you can get your mind off things that are bothering you and you won’t say. hey, try this dish. i made it myself with my bare hands, this is how i cure homesickness. no, i’m not doing this just for you. yes, i would just like to share.)

—

when they land back in korea seungcheol and jeonghan follow joshua back to the dorms instead of their own apartments. they speak with him the entire ride back and joshua wants to strangle them, ditch the manager’s van and take a taxi to a hotel; he kicks jeonghan at least four times on purpose, and jeonghan kicks him back.

seungcheol orders bulgogi and puts on a stupid movie that nobody pays attention, and their legs tangle over the sofa and joshua’s chest eases a little. he can see on jeonghan’s leg the purple blooming and he presses against it, and jeonghan yelps. seungcheol’s laughter is booming; beautiful and loud and never ending. jeonghan bites his cheek.

it’s a horrible mistake, but they fall asleep over the sofa: jeonghan’s head over his shoulders and seungcheol all over him, warm all over, hands demanding even in dream -

and it’s coming home, coming home, coming home.

—

the truth is:

joshua feels ashamed of feeling this way, almost as if he is looking down on where he came from, almost as if he is rejecting a part of himself. he tries to rationalize and justify himself, but in the end - it’s not about the tiredness of moving. it’s not about getting used to a new timezone, or even finding work all over again.

it’s about going to a convenience store near his apartment at two am. it’s about walking around seoul at night without being afraid, all corners in his neighborhood memorized. being babied by the old lady who sells fishcakes in hongdae and finds him handsome, being fifteen minutes away from jeonghan or seungcheol, being able to go inside a place with a face mask and not be looked weird, about laughing so hard in the presence of his friends that it hurts to breathe. it’s about how california is now more memory than home.

and seoul -

seoul is seoul. it’s not exactly comfortable, a little prickly around its edges. but he looks at it and it looks back at him, in the eyes of jihoon, in that obnoxious luxurious bakery seungkwan enjoys. he doesn’t think the city loves him in the way he loves the city, but he is part of it, now, and that’s something. it has to be something. he begs for it to be something.

he closes his eyes, a headache blooming at the base of his skull. there are close to twenty tabs open on his laptop, all google drive pictures of a luxurious condo near hansol’s apartment, everything already decorated and ready to go. there is a room built for a wine cellar inside, and enough space for six or seven people on the extra rooms.

he opens his kakaotalk, and sends the pictures to his mother.

oh my god he's in LOVE love

I’m crying

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 14 of 36

Round 1 2023: Quotes

Re: [FILL] but I am like this

Re: [FILL] but I am like this

Re: [FILL] but I am like this

Re: [FILL] but I am like this

Re: [FILL] but I am like this

Re: [FILL] but I am like this

Re: [FILL]hopeful or hopeless

Re: [FILL] less lonely together

Re: [FILL] less lonely together

Re: [FILL] polygraph

your self-destruction doesn't hurt them

Re: I relate to you who can’t relate

no subject

people like us are guiltier than killers

california gurls

[FILL] let it be me

minor insults

[FILL] burn it down

Re: [FILL] 再一次

Re: [FILL] 再一次

you-and-me

no subject

[FILL] succession of shelters

Re: [FILL] let it be me

Re: [FILL] succession of shelters