Ship/Member: Seokmin/Soonyoung Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: the end of a relationship, looking back at a former love, realizing that the person you love doesn't love you as much as you do, angst this is angst Permission to remix: Please ask
this is uhm. very personal. hope you don't mind <3 ***
“Of course we can still keep in touch,” Soonyoung reassures him that night, while Seokmin cries all his tears, kneeling on what has been their bed until that day, and it soon will be only Seokmin’s.
It strikes him like lightning, fast, deadly. Unavoidable. One moment they are Soonyoung and Seokmin, the other they are no more. It’s scary how the world can change in less than a few words.
“Seokmin-ah, I don’t think we’re good for each other anymore.”
Seokmin stares, crestfallen. Soonyoung isn’t looking at him, eyes on the ceiling as he tries to contain his tears. “I love you, you know I do.”
“Do you, do you really?” Seokmin wants to ask, but he just sucks his bottom lip in his mouth, an easy “alright” coming out of him. “Alright, hyung. If you think so.”
“I’m so sorry, Seokmin-ah.”
Seokmin doesn’t cry until that night, when they slip in their shared bed and the realization of what is about to come dawns on him, making him shake with the force of his hiccups.
Soonyoung holds him through the worst of it, gentle shushing and “I’m sorry”s whispered into his hair, but Seokmin doesn’t know what to do with his apologies, he doesn't know where to fit them when his heart is so full with desperation and sudden loneliness.
So he lets them hang in the air, and accepts the promises of friendship, the white lies that Soonyoung whispers into his skin together with placating small kisses.
It takes two weeks for Soonyoung to move out; Seokmin never cries again in front of him, not even when they hug goodbye and Soonyoung hides his face against his collarbone, soaking his shirt with tears.
When the door bangs closed on its hinges, hiding Soonyoung from view, that’s when he lets himself fall to the floor and sob until no more tears come out, left dry, a shell of himself for a lonely passerby to pick up.
It strikes him like lightning again, a few months later, that Soonyoung never intended to be his friend; that he never was, to begin with.
It’s a reality more heartbreaking than the breakup, when Seokmin considered him to be his best friend above all else; even before they were boyfriends, Soonyoung was his partner in crime, the person that knew him the best.
Now they’re almost strangers, a few text messages exchanged over time just for sterile conversation that feels forced, useless.
It hurts, because despite everything, Seokmin really believed those lies; he believed in being loved beyond the romantic bond that tied him to Soonyoung, he believed in having someone that cared for him, despite the end of their relationship.
He was wrong.
There’s no excuse for Soonyoung. The fallout of their love has been slow and painful, but neither of them could be blamed for that.
The feelings that once made the memory of Soonyoung sweet make it turn sour.
Being strangers would be better than whatever there is between them now, that sort of awkward limbo that has them stopping to exchange a few pleasantries and dry words with each other every time they meet, forced out laughs and shifting gazes.
Being strangers would mean Seokmin could forget the way Soonyoung ripped his heart out and walked all over it, pretending that he cared for Seokmin as a person when all he cared for was to have someone who loved him as he wanted to be loved at his side.
And when Seokmin wasn’t that someone anymore, Soonyoung moved on and left him to lick his own wounds, not caring for his broken heart, for his ruined plans. Not caring for whatever ashes he left in his wake.
They’re everything but strangers; the hurt stays, festers, grows roots deep, sinking in the most tender parts of him. Seokmin holds it close to his heart, a reminder to never trust someone’s love ever so easily.
Even if he wanted to forget, he couldn’t. Not when he lost his best friend and his lover in the same breath. Not when all he’s left with are washed out memories of a love that is starting to fade from his heart.
[FILL]: we will fade away
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: the end of a relationship, looking back at a former love, realizing that the person you love doesn't love you as much as you do, angst this is angst
Permission to remix: Please ask
this is uhm. very personal. hope you don't mind <3
***
“Of course we can still keep in touch,” Soonyoung reassures him that night, while Seokmin cries all his tears, kneeling on what has been their bed until that day, and it soon will be only Seokmin’s.
It strikes him like lightning, fast, deadly. Unavoidable. One moment they are Soonyoung and Seokmin, the other they are no more. It’s scary how the world can change in less than a few words.
“Seokmin-ah, I don’t think we’re good for each other anymore.”
Seokmin stares, crestfallen. Soonyoung isn’t looking at him, eyes on the ceiling as he tries to contain his tears. “I love you, you know I do.”
“Do you, do you really?” Seokmin wants to ask, but he just sucks his bottom lip in his mouth, an easy “alright” coming out of him. “Alright, hyung. If you think so.”
“I’m so sorry, Seokmin-ah.”
Seokmin doesn’t cry until that night, when they slip in their shared bed and the realization of what is about to come dawns on him, making him shake with the force of his hiccups.
Soonyoung holds him through the worst of it, gentle shushing and “I’m sorry”s whispered into his hair, but Seokmin doesn’t know what to do with his apologies, he doesn't know where to fit them when his heart is so full with desperation and sudden loneliness.
So he lets them hang in the air, and accepts the promises of friendship, the white lies that Soonyoung whispers into his skin together with placating small kisses.
It takes two weeks for Soonyoung to move out; Seokmin never cries again in front of him, not even when they hug goodbye and Soonyoung hides his face against his collarbone, soaking his shirt with tears.
When the door bangs closed on its hinges, hiding Soonyoung from view, that’s when he lets himself fall to the floor and sob until no more tears come out, left dry, a shell of himself for a lonely passerby to pick up.
It strikes him like lightning again, a few months later, that Soonyoung never intended to be his friend; that he never was, to begin with.
It’s a reality more heartbreaking than the breakup, when Seokmin considered him to be his best friend above all else; even before they were boyfriends, Soonyoung was his partner in crime, the person that knew him the best.
Now they’re almost strangers, a few text messages exchanged over time just for sterile conversation that feels forced, useless.
It hurts, because despite everything, Seokmin really believed those lies; he believed in being loved beyond the romantic bond that tied him to Soonyoung, he believed in having someone that cared for him, despite the end of their relationship.
He was wrong.
There’s no excuse for Soonyoung. The fallout of their love has been slow and painful, but neither of them could be blamed for that.
The feelings that once made the memory of Soonyoung sweet make it turn sour.
Being strangers would be better than whatever there is between them now, that sort of awkward limbo that has them stopping to exchange a few pleasantries and dry words with each other every time they meet, forced out laughs and shifting gazes.
Being strangers would mean Seokmin could forget the way Soonyoung ripped his heart out and walked all over it, pretending that he cared for Seokmin as a person when all he cared for was to have someone who loved him as he wanted to be loved at his side.
And when Seokmin wasn’t that someone anymore, Soonyoung moved on and left him to lick his own wounds, not caring for his broken heart, for his ruined plans. Not caring for whatever ashes he left in his wake.
They’re everything but strangers; the hurt stays, festers, grows roots deep, sinking in the most tender parts of him. Seokmin holds it close to his heart, a reminder to never trust someone’s love ever so easily.
Even if he wanted to forget, he couldn’t. Not when he lost his best friend and his lover in the same breath. Not when all he’s left with are washed out memories of a love that is starting to fade from his heart.