ship/member: soonhao major tags: idolverse/canon compliant, in the soop
Minghao can only read at night on trips like these, past the time when everyone still tugs his body in directions out of his control. Even now, on the side of a craggy mountain somewhere east of Seoul, Minghao can't help but wait for the sun to go down to start his dive into the book sitting, waiting for him, on his bedside table.
It's a self-help book, something Minghao only recently decided was actually helpful rather than sort of cheesy or unknowing. He used to be so angry, angry at words that only served to help him. He used to hate books like this because they made it seem so easy; like self-awareness could ever do anything but make him hate himself in new angles. How would a book know how to make me better?
It's different now. The books are beautiful. Maybe because now, he can see that he is beautiful too.
It's a sweet section of the book he's focused on, his legs tangled in the sheets of the bed, when Soonyoung glides in.
"Not going to drink with everyone?" Minghao asks, raising an eyebrow at Soonyoung, already in his pajamas.
Soonyoung rubs the back of his neck and settles on the edge of the bed. "I'm sleepy. You know."
Minghao does. Soonyoung likes to pretend he's always the life of the party, but they both know better. When left to make his own choices, Soonyoung likes to be quiet and calm. Like a wild cat conserving its energy for the hunt.
Minghao rubs a finger against the thin edge of a page of his book and Soonyoung's eyes catch on his movement, following his finger absentmindedly.
"Myungho-yah," Soonyoung murmurs, Minghao's name wrong in his mouth but right in his head. "What are you reading?"
Minghao smiles at him and Soonyoung answers his own question. "It's a Chinese book?" he asks.
"Yes, a Chinese book," Minghao says quietly, his voice thick and low in the suffocating night of the room. He feels like he should say something, or do something, but Soonyoung just nods.
He scoots closer and leans over Minghao's body, his scent catching on Minghao's nose as he says, "Translate it into Korean and tell me what it says."
Minghao fingers one of the pages again and says, "This one?"
Soonyoung nods. Minghao doesn't know how to tell him he can't read in two languages now.
"This book is too difficult to translate," Minghao says, his mouth trying to keep the words on his tongue.
Soonyoung's wandering fingers play with the hem of Minghao's shirt and give him goosebumps. "Try," Soonyoung says, his voice encouraging and full of expectation. Minghao swallows, feeling the lump in his throat nudge up against his words. Soonyoung is looking at him intensely, but it's still soft and gentle and Minghao feels safe. Always has, with him.
"As best you can."
Soonyoung's fingers brush against the skin of his hip. Minghao's body burns
"Even just one line."
Soonyoung's fingers spark against his ribs.
So he tries. He scans the page for a line that seems easy, where the characters stay put and don't move when he tries to read them.
"Humans, subconsciously, strive for... satisfaction... and validation..." Minghao says, his words halting and embarrassingly lacking once translated. "That's because... we are all feeling empty inside."
He bites his lip, sure that he couldn't have possibly done it justice.
Soonyoung's hot palm presses flat against his hipbone. "That's amazing," he breathes out, leaning in close. Minghao can feel the lines of his hand on his skin.
"It's a-about trying to become a stronger and more independent person," Minghao says. He cringes. That barely scratches the surface. Fuck, why can't he explain this right? "But it's too difficult," Minghao continues.
Soonyoung nods, his hand still pressed into Minghao's stomach.
"Everything in here is difficult," Minghao finishes, feeling his face burn at the intense focus Soonyoung is looking at him with.
Soonyoung's hand sweeps up to his chest, right above his heart, and he says, "You did well."
Minghao's whole body shivers. He nods, once, and tries to keep reading, so he doesn't have to tell Soonyoung how much it means to him, his hand on his heart and his eyes on his face.
[FILL]
major tags: idolverse/canon compliant, in the soop
Minghao can only read at night on trips like these, past the time when everyone still tugs his body in directions out of his control. Even now, on the side of a craggy mountain somewhere east of Seoul, Minghao can't help but wait for the sun to go down to start his dive into the book sitting, waiting for him, on his bedside table.
It's a self-help book, something Minghao only recently decided was actually helpful rather than sort of cheesy or unknowing. He used to be so angry, angry at words that only served to help him. He used to hate books like this because they made it seem so easy; like self-awareness could ever do anything but make him hate himself in new angles. How would a book know how to make me better?
It's different now. The books are beautiful. Maybe because now, he can see that he is beautiful too.
It's a sweet section of the book he's focused on, his legs tangled in the sheets of the bed, when Soonyoung glides in.
"Not going to drink with everyone?" Minghao asks, raising an eyebrow at Soonyoung, already in his pajamas.
Soonyoung rubs the back of his neck and settles on the edge of the bed. "I'm sleepy. You know."
Minghao does. Soonyoung likes to pretend he's always the life of the party, but they both know better. When left to make his own choices, Soonyoung likes to be quiet and calm. Like a wild cat conserving its energy for the hunt.
Minghao rubs a finger against the thin edge of a page of his book and Soonyoung's eyes catch on his movement, following his finger absentmindedly.
"Myungho-yah," Soonyoung murmurs, Minghao's name wrong in his mouth but right in his head. "What are you reading?"
Minghao smiles at him and Soonyoung answers his own question. "It's a Chinese book?" he asks.
"Yes, a Chinese book," Minghao says quietly, his voice thick and low in the suffocating night of the room. He feels like he should say something, or do something, but Soonyoung just nods.
He scoots closer and leans over Minghao's body, his scent catching on Minghao's nose as he says, "Translate it into Korean and tell me what it says."
Minghao fingers one of the pages again and says, "This one?"
Soonyoung nods. Minghao doesn't know how to tell him he can't read in two languages now.
"This book is too difficult to translate," Minghao says, his mouth trying to keep the words on his tongue.
Soonyoung's wandering fingers play with the hem of Minghao's shirt and give him goosebumps. "Try," Soonyoung says, his voice encouraging and full of expectation. Minghao swallows, feeling the lump in his throat nudge up against his words. Soonyoung is looking at him intensely, but it's still soft and gentle and Minghao feels safe. Always has, with him.
"As best you can."
Soonyoung's fingers brush against the skin of his hip. Minghao's body burns
"Even just one line."
Soonyoung's fingers spark against his ribs.
So he tries. He scans the page for a line that seems easy, where the characters stay put and don't move when he tries to read them.
"Humans, subconsciously, strive for... satisfaction... and validation..." Minghao says, his words halting and embarrassingly lacking once translated. "That's because... we are all feeling empty inside."
He bites his lip, sure that he couldn't have possibly done it justice.
Soonyoung's hot palm presses flat against his hipbone. "That's amazing," he breathes out, leaning in close. Minghao can feel the lines of his hand on his skin.
"It's a-about trying to become a stronger and more independent person," Minghao says. He cringes. That barely scratches the surface. Fuck, why can't he explain this right? "But it's too difficult," Minghao continues.
Soonyoung nods, his hand still pressed into Minghao's stomach.
"Everything in here is difficult," Minghao finishes, feeling his face burn at the intense focus Soonyoung is looking at him with.
Soonyoung's hand sweeps up to his chest, right above his heart, and he says, "You did well."
Minghao's whole body shivers. He nods, once, and tries to keep reading, so he doesn't have to tell Soonyoung how much it means to him, his hand on his heart and his eyes on his face.
He doesn't have the words.