Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Chan Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: idolverse, maknae-isms? Permission to remix: Please ask A/N: evil auberginedreams all 2022 babey! ***
The warnings are everywhere. Don’t meet your idols. Don’t fall in love with your target. Movies and television and books all show the desires, the ramifications of them. Except no one really warns you about falling in love with your bandmate. Maybe because it is both unacceptable and inevitable. At least Chan thinks so.
Jeonghan is talented. He is clever and smart and he understands how it all works faster than any other trainee Chan has ever met. He sticks to Seungcheol and Joshua, speaks to the others only when spoken to. Chan gets it. There are so many of them. Why would you want to get attached?
Chan doesn’t fall in love with Jeonghan all at once. It’s a slow thing, so gradual it feels more like friendship. Jeonghan tucks his hair behind his ear and Chan’s heart slams against his ribs. There are worse things he could be dealing with. This is what he reminds himself.
But Jeonghan is smart. He figures it out before Chan has even put a name to what it is. He stays late to watch Chan practice, the mirror fogged over by the time he’s done. Jeonghan grabs the towel slung around his shoulders and tugs him closer. Heat is already pouring off his skin, but the look in Jeonghan’s eyes makes the air disappear from his lungs. He wants Jeonghan to kiss him. They both know it.
It feels like a long time before Jeonghan lets him go, stepping back and fixing him with a grin. Chan’s entire world rearranges itself.
Whose are you, Jeonghan is asking him, eyes dark, lips parted. Who do you belong to?
Yours, Chan is answering. Begging. Only yours.
The years move so quickly they feel like months. Promotions and concerts and filming. Practicing and sleeping on whatever soft surface he can find. It is moments and seconds and glances that go unanswered that come to a head while Chan is watching Jeonghan’s solo. It’s the flowing shirt, maybe, the tattoo on his neck. Seeing him alone on stage. Or maybe it’s just Jeonghan. It always has been.
When he comes down Chan grabs his wrist and tugs him closer, his hand over the fake tattoo. Jeonghan’s chest heaves, his eyes almost playful as he runs his tongue along his bottom lip. The silence stretches between them, nearly shimmering. A few more moments and staff come rushing over, directing them to different parts of the stage, tugging Jeonghan’s shirt over his head.
“Maybe next time,” Jeonghan says, grinning.
Waiting and waiting. Nothing has ever happened between them. Chan has kissed boys and fucked girls but he has never stopped thinking about Jeonghan. Whose are you? Who do any of them belong to if not each other?
“How much longer are you going to keep doing this?” Chan nearly shouts as he’s tugged toward one of the lifts.
Jeonghan doesn’t answer.
Jeonghan kisses him in a clump of trees outside of the cabins they’re staying in. It’s a long time coming. So long Chan is convinced it will never happen, that Jeonghan has seen his heart and crushed it for his own amusement. That’s he’s done this on purpose. Ruined him.
“You’re treating me like a child,” Chan says. He can’t even remember what it was about. Fishing, or wearing the wrong shoes outside. It hardly matters in the end. “I’m not a kid anymore, hyung.”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “I never said you were.”
“Then when are you going to stop treating me like one?”
Chan steps closer, the setting sun backlighting Jeonghan in a halo of light. He is smart and he is cunning and he is so beautiful Chan doesn’t even know if a word exists to describe him. Long hair or short hair, blonde or dark. Chan has seen him cry and laugh and bleed. There has never been a part of Jeonghan that he didn’t want to see, to love. If only Jeonghan would let him.
It feels like Jeonghan is reading his mind, the way he lets his breath rush out of him and hold out his hand.
“You’re the worst,” Jeonghan says. “Come here.”
This is what you made me, Chan thinks but doesn’t say. He steps closer than he thinks is allowed. Jeonghan’s hand on his cheek is cool but soft. His lips are warm, though, when they finally meet his.
Jeonghan kisses like he’s had a lot of practice. He kisses like he knows exactly what he wants and expects nothing less. Maybe it’s a good thing Chan has been watching him all this time. He slides his fingers through Jeonghan’s hair and slots their lips together at a better angle.
This is why there should be a warning. Jeonghan is like the first drag of a cigarette. Like hitting a high note on the first try. He is beautiful and he is dangerous and Chan feels like he will never be able to take this back.
[Fill] the mess you made
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse, maknae-isms?
Permission to remix: Please ask
A/N: evil auberginedreams all 2022 babey!
***
The warnings are everywhere. Don’t meet your idols. Don’t fall in love with your target. Movies and television and books all show the desires, the ramifications of them. Except no one really warns you about falling in love with your bandmate. Maybe because it is both unacceptable and inevitable. At least Chan thinks so.
Jeonghan is talented. He is clever and smart and he understands how it all works faster than any other trainee Chan has ever met. He sticks to Seungcheol and Joshua, speaks to the others only when spoken to. Chan gets it. There are so many of them. Why would you want to get attached?
Chan doesn’t fall in love with Jeonghan all at once. It’s a slow thing, so gradual it feels more like friendship. Jeonghan tucks his hair behind his ear and Chan’s heart slams against his ribs. There are worse things he could be dealing with. This is what he reminds himself.
But Jeonghan is smart. He figures it out before Chan has even put a name to what it is. He stays late to watch Chan practice, the mirror fogged over by the time he’s done. Jeonghan grabs the towel slung around his shoulders and tugs him closer. Heat is already pouring off his skin, but the look in Jeonghan’s eyes makes the air disappear from his lungs. He wants Jeonghan to kiss him. They both know it.
It feels like a long time before Jeonghan lets him go, stepping back and fixing him with a grin. Chan’s entire world rearranges itself.
“Whose baby are you?” Jeonghan asks sweetly.
“Jeonghannie hyung’s,” Chan replies, eyebrows pinched together.
Whose are you, Jeonghan is asking him, eyes dark, lips parted. Who do you belong to?
Yours, Chan is answering. Begging. Only yours.
The years move so quickly they feel like months. Promotions and concerts and filming. Practicing and sleeping on whatever soft surface he can find. It is moments and seconds and glances that go unanswered that come to a head while Chan is watching Jeonghan’s solo. It’s the flowing shirt, maybe, the tattoo on his neck. Seeing him alone on stage. Or maybe it’s just Jeonghan. It always has been.
When he comes down Chan grabs his wrist and tugs him closer, his hand over the fake tattoo. Jeonghan’s chest heaves, his eyes almost playful as he runs his tongue along his bottom lip. The silence stretches between them, nearly shimmering.
A few more moments and staff come rushing over, directing them to different parts of the stage, tugging Jeonghan’s shirt over his head.
“Maybe next time,” Jeonghan says, grinning.
Waiting and waiting. Nothing has ever happened between them. Chan has kissed boys and fucked girls but he has never stopped thinking about Jeonghan. Whose are you? Who do any of them belong to if not each other?
“How much longer are you going to keep doing this?” Chan nearly shouts as he’s tugged toward one of the lifts.
Jeonghan doesn’t answer.
Jeonghan kisses him in a clump of trees outside of the cabins they’re staying in. It’s a long time coming. So long Chan is convinced it will never happen, that Jeonghan has seen his heart and crushed it for his own amusement. That’s he’s done this on purpose. Ruined him.
“You’re treating me like a child,” Chan says. He can’t even remember what it was about. Fishing, or wearing the wrong shoes outside. It hardly matters in the end. “I’m not a kid anymore, hyung.”
Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “I never said you were.”
“Then when are you going to stop treating me like one?”
Chan steps closer, the setting sun backlighting Jeonghan in a halo of light. He is smart and he is cunning and he is so beautiful Chan doesn’t even know if a word exists to describe him. Long hair or short hair, blonde or dark. Chan has seen him cry and laugh and bleed. There has never been a part of Jeonghan that he didn’t want to see, to love. If only Jeonghan would let him.
It feels like Jeonghan is reading his mind, the way he lets his breath rush out of him and hold out his hand.
“You’re the worst,” Jeonghan says. “Come here.”
This is what you made me, Chan thinks but doesn’t say. He steps closer than he thinks is allowed. Jeonghan’s hand on his cheek is cool but soft. His lips are warm, though, when they finally meet his.
Jeonghan kisses like he’s had a lot of practice. He kisses like he knows exactly what he wants and expects nothing less. Maybe it’s a good thing Chan has been watching him all this time. He slides his fingers through Jeonghan’s hair and slots their lips together at a better angle.
This is why there should be a warning. Jeonghan is like the first drag of a cigarette. Like hitting a high note on the first try. He is beautiful and he is dangerous and Chan feels like he will never be able to take this back.
It’s a good thing he doesn’t want to.