Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Soonyoung Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: RWF (real worm fiction) Permission to remix: Yes going for year of the tiger :)
*** “Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
The first time Jeonghan pondered the question, it was with a teasing smile on his face. “Of course I would,” he’d said aloud to Soonyoung who was sitting across the room on his phone.
Soonyoung had blushed, delicate but Jeonghan could still tell even from far away. “Ah, hyung, that’s not… It’s just a meme. I just thought you would find it funny.”
“I might love you even more if you were a worm, actually,” Jeonghan had said, just to laugh at Soonyoung’s reaction. “You and Joshuji could sing a little worm duet. Kpop’s first all-worm subunit.”
Soonyoung had huffed, fake pouting, so Jeonghan stood up and ruffled his hair for a content sigh in return.
And that had been that. Jeonghan hadn’t thought about it any further, beyond being sure that the answer was yes. He would love Soonyoung across oceans or decades of distance, through the harshest arguments and angriest words, whether he were a worm or a bug or a tiger. Soonyoung didn’t need to know all that though, it wasn’t what he’d asked. Jeonghan answered his question because he could never lie, not to Soonyoung, but that was all.
Now, though… now he wonders if maybe Soonyoung had meant by something by it. Maybe he had known.
It’s late, late enough that Soonyoung should be back from practice but not so late that he’s probably pulling an all-nighter. The last time that Jeonghan heard from him, it was a text asking Jeonghan to meet him that evening for food, so here Jeonghan is. Standing in Soonyoung’s empty bedroom with an awful inexplicable sense of foreboding.
After a few minutes of tapping his foot and staring out the window, Jeonghan notices movement on Soonyoung’s bed. Jeonghan hesitantly moves a stuffed tiger to find a small shape wriggling on Soonyoung’s pillow.
“Oh my god,” Jeonghan whispers aloud. “Hoshi’s a worm.”
He texts Soonyoung and waits anxiously for the 1 to disappear by the message. After a minute, he calls and hears Soonyoung’s phone vibrate on his desk.
Surely there’s another explanation for this but Jeonghan can’t come up with one, can’t suppress the mounting horror as he stares at the worm on Soonyoung’s bed. Even the worm looks distressed, struggling against the fabric to make any progress. He scoops it up in one hand and the worm stills.
“Soonyoungie?” Jeonghan asks quietly.
The worm wriggles once in response.
“It’s okay, hyung found you,” Jeonghan coos. The worm is kind of cute, in a worm way. It’s not very big and not slimy like Jeonghan would have expected. He hasn’t actually held a worm since grade school, probably, when he’d dig them up and toss them in other boys’ pants. Good times.
He holds Soonyoung-worm a little closer to his chest. No tossing this worm around anywhere. Are worms fragile? Can’t they regenerate their tails if smashed, or was that lizards? Jeonghan should have paid more attention in school instead of putting worms down boys’ pants. What do worms even eat?
Oh god, they’re gonna have to try to put a worm in their choreography. “Hoshi is so talented, it won’t be a problem, will it? You’ll be teaching the rest of us worm choreography in no time,” Jeonghan says to the worm. If this is their new reality, better to start trying to adjust. If Soonyoung can even hear him. Do worms have ears?
“I guess this is going to put a little wrinkle in the tiger agenda, huh?” The worm starts to writhe more anxiously, wrapping itself around one of Jeonghan’s fingers.
“Ah Hoshingie, it’s okay. Horanghae is old news anyway, you can… jireonghae? We’ll workshop it.”
The worm rolls over angrily in Jeonghan’s hand.
“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I love horanghae, I’m sorry. Maybe we can paint tiger stripes on your little worm body.”
The worm settles back down after that.
Tears start to well up in Jeonghan’s eyes as he looks at the worm, trying to figure out if it’s looking back at him or not. He’d been so wrong. Not about still loving Soonyoung, he does, but this isn’t funny at all.
This is nothing like Soonyoung wriggling around on the floor of the practice studio when he’s worn out after a long day of practice and frustrated with himself. He knows that Soonyoung, has him figured out in and out. Jeonghan can always read that Soonyoung no matter what, knows when he needs attention or reassurance or just to sit in silence. Jeonghan could do all of those things for a worm, sure, but it wouldn’t be the same. He’ll miss the Soonyoung who knows him back, who takes his words at face value because he knows Jeonghan would never lie, not to him. Soonyoung who sends him worm memes and asks sweetly if Jeonghan loves him and never asks how when Jeonghan rushes to say yes.
“Hyung,” Soonyoung says.
Jeonghan’s eyes instantly start to water again. “So you can speak?” he asks, peering down at his palm.
There’s a knock on the doorframe. Soonyoung clears his throat and says again “Hyung?”
Jeonghan finally notices the direction of the voice at the same time he turns around to see a very human Soonyoung waiting outside his room, eyebrows furrowed.
“Have you been crying?”
Jeonghan closes his hand around the worm and shoves it behind his back at the same time he notices that Soonyoung is hiding something behind his back himself.
“What do you have?” Jeonghan says, clearing his throat.
Soonyoung’s expression brightens, apparently willing to let Jeonghan go that easily. He holds up a small cage, grin bright as he presents it to Jeonghan. “I got a lizard! Sorry I was late, I came back earlier with the supplies, food and stuff, but then I accidentally left the container of worms open so I had to go back to the pet shop and get more,” Soonyoung says sheepishly. “Didn’t think it was right for us to eat if this little guy hadn’t gotten to yet!”
Jeonghan watches Soonyoung set the cage on his desk, complete with a new sealed container of worms.
“I already got permission, don’t worry,” Soonyoung rushes to add when Jeonghan doesn’t reply. “I’ve been reading up on them a lot and Vernon said he would help too if I ever forget or something, and he can stay with my parents if we travel. The lizard, not Vernon. Although my parents would probably be happy to have Vernon if he ever wanted. Maybe I should invite him over sometime.”
Jeonghan laughs but he can’t quite hide the wetness of it. He tries to scrub at his face again to hide any evidence of tears, but he’s only got one hand available.
Soonyoung sits down on the bed and stares up at him, eyes wide. “Are you okay?”
And how can Jeonghan lie, with Soonyoung asking so earnestly? It feels unimaginably silly to admit but if there’s anyone he could tell even his silliest secrets, it’s Soonyoung.
Jeonghan sits down too and pets the top of Soonyoung’s head and presses a kiss to bleach-stressed strands of hair.
Soonyoung makes a noise of confusion but leans into the touch.
“I got worried when you were gone for so long. You weren’t answering your phone,” Jeonghan whispers.
Soonyoung blinks. “Oh, I guess I left it here. Sorry!”
“It’s okay,” Jeonghan says through soft laughter he can’t hold back. “You know I love you, right?”
Soonyoung nods happily. “Of course.” He says it so easily, just like that. It aches, but it’s also enough to set Jeonghan’s mind to rest for the moment.
Jeonghan clears his throat. “I’m hungry, where did you want to eat?”
Soonyoung hops off the bed with a shrug. “Nothing in mind. We can just walk and see what sounds good?”
Jeonghan nods and stands up to follow.
Soonyoung stops in the doorframe, turning around to look at him. “Hyung,” he says, soft but serious.
[FILL] worm.
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: RWF (real worm fiction)
Permission to remix: Yes
going for year of the tiger :)
***
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”
The first time Jeonghan pondered the question, it was with a teasing smile on his face. “Of course I would,” he’d said aloud to Soonyoung who was sitting across the room on his phone.
Soonyoung had blushed, delicate but Jeonghan could still tell even from far away. “Ah, hyung, that’s not… It’s just a meme. I just thought you would find it funny.”
“I might love you even more if you were a worm, actually,” Jeonghan had said, just to laugh at Soonyoung’s reaction. “You and Joshuji could sing a little worm duet. Kpop’s first all-worm subunit.”
Soonyoung had huffed, fake pouting, so Jeonghan stood up and ruffled his hair for a content sigh in return.
And that had been that. Jeonghan hadn’t thought about it any further, beyond being sure that the answer was yes. He would love Soonyoung across oceans or decades of distance, through the harshest arguments and angriest words, whether he were a worm or a bug or a tiger. Soonyoung didn’t need to know all that though, it wasn’t what he’d asked. Jeonghan answered his question because he could never lie, not to Soonyoung, but that was all.
Now, though… now he wonders if maybe Soonyoung had meant by something by it. Maybe he had known.
It’s late, late enough that Soonyoung should be back from practice but not so late that he’s probably pulling an all-nighter. The last time that Jeonghan heard from him, it was a text asking Jeonghan to meet him that evening for food, so here Jeonghan is. Standing in Soonyoung’s empty bedroom with an awful inexplicable sense of foreboding.
After a few minutes of tapping his foot and staring out the window, Jeonghan notices movement on Soonyoung’s bed. Jeonghan hesitantly moves a stuffed tiger to find a small shape wriggling on Soonyoung’s pillow.
“Oh my god,” Jeonghan whispers aloud. “Hoshi’s a worm.”
He texts Soonyoung and waits anxiously for the 1 to disappear by the message. After a minute, he calls and hears Soonyoung’s phone vibrate on his desk.
Surely there’s another explanation for this but Jeonghan can’t come up with one, can’t suppress the mounting horror as he stares at the worm on Soonyoung’s bed. Even the worm looks distressed, struggling against the fabric to make any progress. He scoops it up in one hand and the worm stills.
“Soonyoungie?” Jeonghan asks quietly.
The worm wriggles once in response.
“It’s okay, hyung found you,” Jeonghan coos. The worm is kind of cute, in a worm way. It’s not very big and not slimy like Jeonghan would have expected. He hasn’t actually held a worm since grade school, probably, when he’d dig them up and toss them in other boys’ pants. Good times.
He holds Soonyoung-worm a little closer to his chest. No tossing this worm around anywhere. Are worms fragile? Can’t they regenerate their tails if smashed, or was that lizards? Jeonghan should have paid more attention in school instead of putting worms down boys’ pants. What do worms even eat?
Oh god, they’re gonna have to try to put a worm in their choreography. “Hoshi is so talented, it won’t be a problem, will it? You’ll be teaching the rest of us worm choreography in no time,” Jeonghan says to the worm. If this is their new reality, better to start trying to adjust. If Soonyoung can even hear him. Do worms have ears?
“I guess this is going to put a little wrinkle in the tiger agenda, huh?”
The worm starts to writhe more anxiously, wrapping itself around one of Jeonghan’s fingers.
“Ah Hoshingie, it’s okay. Horanghae is old news anyway, you can… jireonghae? We’ll workshop it.”
The worm rolls over angrily in Jeonghan’s hand.
“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I love horanghae, I’m sorry. Maybe we can paint tiger stripes on your little worm body.”
The worm settles back down after that.
Tears start to well up in Jeonghan’s eyes as he looks at the worm, trying to figure out if it’s looking back at him or not. He’d been so wrong. Not about still loving Soonyoung, he does, but this isn’t funny at all.
This is nothing like Soonyoung wriggling around on the floor of the practice studio when he’s worn out after a long day of practice and frustrated with himself. He knows that Soonyoung, has him figured out in and out. Jeonghan can always read that Soonyoung no matter what, knows when he needs attention or reassurance or just to sit in silence. Jeonghan could do all of those things for a worm, sure, but it wouldn’t be the same. He’ll miss the Soonyoung who knows him back, who takes his words at face value because he knows Jeonghan would never lie, not to him. Soonyoung who sends him worm memes and asks sweetly if Jeonghan loves him and never asks how when Jeonghan rushes to say yes.
“Hyung,” Soonyoung says.
Jeonghan’s eyes instantly start to water again. “So you can speak?” he asks, peering down at his palm.
There’s a knock on the doorframe. Soonyoung clears his throat and says again “Hyung?”
Jeonghan finally notices the direction of the voice at the same time he turns around to see a very human Soonyoung waiting outside his room, eyebrows furrowed.
“Have you been crying?”
Jeonghan closes his hand around the worm and shoves it behind his back at the same time he notices that Soonyoung is hiding something behind his back himself.
“What do you have?” Jeonghan says, clearing his throat.
Soonyoung’s expression brightens, apparently willing to let Jeonghan go that easily. He holds up a small cage, grin bright as he presents it to Jeonghan. “I got a lizard! Sorry I was late, I came back earlier with the supplies, food and stuff, but then I accidentally left the container of worms open so I had to go back to the pet shop and get more,” Soonyoung says sheepishly. “Didn’t think it was right for us to eat if this little guy hadn’t gotten to yet!”
Jeonghan watches Soonyoung set the cage on his desk, complete with a new sealed container of worms.
“I already got permission, don’t worry,” Soonyoung rushes to add when Jeonghan doesn’t reply. “I’ve been reading up on them a lot and Vernon said he would help too if I ever forget or something, and he can stay with my parents if we travel. The lizard, not Vernon. Although my parents would probably be happy to have Vernon if he ever wanted. Maybe I should invite him over sometime.”
Jeonghan laughs but he can’t quite hide the wetness of it. He tries to scrub at his face again to hide any evidence of tears, but he’s only got one hand available.
Soonyoung sits down on the bed and stares up at him, eyes wide. “Are you okay?”
And how can Jeonghan lie, with Soonyoung asking so earnestly? It feels unimaginably silly to admit but if there’s anyone he could tell even his silliest secrets, it’s Soonyoung.
Jeonghan sits down too and pets the top of Soonyoung’s head and presses a kiss to bleach-stressed strands of hair.
Soonyoung makes a noise of confusion but leans into the touch.
“I got worried when you were gone for so long. You weren’t answering your phone,” Jeonghan whispers.
Soonyoung blinks. “Oh, I guess I left it here. Sorry!”
“It’s okay,” Jeonghan says through soft laughter he can’t hold back. “You know I love you, right?”
Soonyoung nods happily. “Of course.” He says it so easily, just like that. It aches, but it’s also enough to set Jeonghan’s mind to rest for the moment.
Jeonghan clears his throat. “I’m hungry, where did you want to eat?”
Soonyoung hops off the bed with a shrug. “Nothing in mind. We can just walk and see what sounds good?”
Jeonghan nods and stands up to follow.
Soonyoung stops in the doorframe, turning around to look at him. “Hyung,” he says, soft but serious.
Jeonghan braces himself.
“What’s that in your hand?”