Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Junhui Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: No banana's feelings were hurt in the making of this fic, humor, dumb dumb humor, halfway through the art gallery became an art museum uuuh Permission to remix: Yes
A/N: Everything mentioned in this fic about this wall banana is true, unfortunately. *** Jun is full of bad good ideas and good bad ideas. He is not sure which this one is yet. Highly depends on whether he comes out of this as single as he was a week ago.
See, he got himself a date which makes this a good idea but it's a date at an art museum which is a bad idea because he doesn't understand art. Like sure if a painting is pretty and has nice colors, it's pretty and has nice colors. He's not really sure about the paintings that are just a white canvas and a splotch of red that looks like someone spilled ketchup on a table. Even Minghao's, his roommate's, paintings are difficult to understand for him at times.
And that's paintings, not even….whatever this is.
He tries not to grimace looking at the human sized ragdoll on the floor of the museum. It's made of old rice sacks and stuffed with what looks like hay and newspaper. The face is drawn on like a toddler got hold of their parents' make up bag. Is it just him or do the eyes seem to be staring right at him?
"'The stuffed doll represents the oncoming second Great Depression.'" The deep voice fills the room despite its softness.
He turns to the man reading the plaque of the cordoned off rice sack rag doll. Jeon Wonwoo, his date, looks as handsome as ever. His glasses frame a sharp clean face and his tall frame is accentuated by his long beige coat. Jun still can't believe that after months of pining and maybe-not-so-lowkey stalking, he is finally on a date with his crush. Which is why he is in an art museuem. Admittedly he had panicked when he chose the venue. All he knew was that Wonwoo enjoyed museums (according to Minghao) and he guessed he probably enjoys art (he's a literature major and he's, uh, friends with Minghao? Maybe he should stop using Minghao as his sole source of Wonwoo information).
"I-I guess that makes sense," Jun agrees, nodding his head eagerly. It did not make sense to him.
"'The doll's wailing at randomly generated intervals shows the ignored cries of the lower class during this economic crisis,'" his date (heh) continues.
"Did you say waili- argh oh my god!" Jun screams as the doll suddenly lets out a screech making him flinch and cling to Wonwoo.
The man lets out a laugh at Jun's peril and he would be offended if he wasn't so endeared.
They walk together through the near empty gallery looking at more and more…'abstract' artworks, is the polite way of putting it. There's a taxidermied duck sitting on top of a pink Krispy Kreme donut immortalized in resin which was to represent the societal struggle of femininity. Another display had a pair of hopefully clean briefs on a wire hanger, signed by the artist and titled 'Mother'. Through all of this he had managed to hide his confused noises into hums of supposed intrigue. Every time he briefly glanced at his date to gauge his reaction, he only got the sight of a concentrated pout or some murmur of acknowledgement of the plaques of each piece. After passing what is literally a stack of bricks, Jun thinks he's gotten the hang of pretending to know what on earth is going on.
Until they reach the banana and Jun breaks.
In a large empty room there is a single banana duct taped to the wall.
"It's a banana," Jun murmured.
Wonwoo steps up closer to the spotlighted hung fruit to read the information next to it.
"It's called the 'Comedian'. 'This piece is a symbol of global trade and a witty double entendre. The angle of the duct tape and the banana are chosen with precision to properly emulate the intended message-,'"
"What message?!" Jun hissed.
"'-This is the third edition of the piece. The first and second having sold at £91,000 each-'"
"No."
"-and the third edition bought by this museum at £114,000-'"
"Oh my god."
"'-Each edition comes with its own certificate of authenticity. The original banana was bought at a Miami supermarket. The bananas are regularly replaced as seen fit.' Huh, interesting."
Silence rang through the room as they both stared at the bruised strapped fruit.
"Th-this is a joke," Jun whispers in horrified awe.
Wonwoo spares him a glance, "No, it's a banana."
Jun looks at him incredulously.
"This. This isn't even the original banana."
"Well, they said they have a certificate of authentici-"
"No! This is- It's, it's stupid! This banana costs my university fees and it's not even the real banana? The Miami banana? The donut makes more sense and it's a donut with a duck on it! Even the pile of bricks and the ugly doll, oh stop wailing you stupid thing, is less of a joke than this goddamned penis replacement fruit! I don't understand and I'm sorry but none of this is art, it's just, it's just fart!"
And Wonwoo laughs. Hard. Practically guffaws. It's probably the loudest he has ever heard him. He's even clapping at Jun's misery.
"Oh, oh, god. I'm so glad you think the same way," he breathes out, clinging onto Jun's shoulder to stop himself from tumbling forward into giggles.
"What."
"I had no idea what we were looking at the entire time. You just seemed so interested and I didn't want to offend you," Wonwoo explained somewhat sheepishly.
"I thought you liked this stuff so I pretended I knew what was going on!" Jun exclaimed, "Minghao said you go to museums and stuff with him so I thought…"
Wonwoo blinks, "Ah, I usually go to science and history museums. If I go to art museums, it's usually the historical paintings. It's really fascinating and sometimes hilarious how various eras portray felines."
"Oh, I love ugly medieval lions!"
"I think there's a medieval art section at the back. Are you interested?"
Jun looped his arm around Wonwoo's and smiles widely at him.
[FILL] This shit is bananas (b a n a n a s)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: No banana's feelings were hurt in the making of this fic, humor, dumb dumb humor, halfway through the art gallery became an art museum uuuh
Permission to remix: Yes
A/N: Everything mentioned in this fic about this wall banana is true, unfortunately.
***
Jun is full of bad good ideas and good bad ideas. He is not sure which this one is yet. Highly depends on whether he comes out of this as single as he was a week ago.
See, he got himself a date which makes this a good idea but it's a date at an art museum which is a bad idea because he doesn't understand art. Like sure if a painting is pretty and has nice colors, it's pretty and has nice colors. He's not really sure about the paintings that are just a white canvas and a splotch of red that looks like someone spilled ketchup on a table. Even Minghao's, his roommate's, paintings are difficult to understand for him at times.
And that's paintings, not even….whatever this is.
He tries not to grimace looking at the human sized ragdoll on the floor of the museum. It's made of old rice sacks and stuffed with what looks like hay and newspaper. The face is drawn on like a toddler got hold of their parents' make up bag. Is it just him or do the eyes seem to be staring right at him?
"'The stuffed doll represents the oncoming second Great Depression.'" The deep voice fills the room despite its softness.
He turns to the man reading the plaque of the cordoned off rice sack rag doll. Jeon Wonwoo, his date, looks as handsome as ever. His glasses frame a sharp clean face and his tall frame is accentuated by his long beige coat. Jun still can't believe that after months of pining and maybe-not-so-lowkey stalking, he is finally on a date with his crush. Which is why he is in an art museuem. Admittedly he had panicked when he chose the venue. All he knew was that Wonwoo enjoyed museums (according to Minghao) and he guessed he probably enjoys art (he's a literature major and he's, uh, friends with Minghao? Maybe he should stop using Minghao as his sole source of Wonwoo information).
"I-I guess that makes sense," Jun agrees, nodding his head eagerly. It did not make sense to him.
"'The doll's wailing at randomly generated intervals shows the ignored cries of the lower class during this economic crisis,'" his date (heh) continues.
"Did you say waili- argh oh my god!" Jun screams as the doll suddenly lets out a screech making him flinch and cling to Wonwoo.
The man lets out a laugh at Jun's peril and he would be offended if he wasn't so endeared.
They walk together through the near empty gallery looking at more and more…'abstract' artworks, is the polite way of putting it. There's a taxidermied duck sitting on top of a pink Krispy Kreme donut immortalized in resin which was to represent the societal struggle of femininity. Another display had a pair of hopefully clean briefs on a wire hanger, signed by the artist and titled 'Mother'. Through all of this he had managed to hide his confused noises into hums of supposed intrigue. Every time he briefly glanced at his date to gauge his reaction, he only got the sight of a concentrated pout or some murmur of acknowledgement of the plaques of each piece. After passing what is literally a stack of bricks, Jun thinks he's gotten the hang of pretending to know what on earth is going on.
Until they reach the banana and Jun breaks.
In a large empty room there is a single banana duct taped to the wall.
"It's a banana," Jun murmured.
Wonwoo steps up closer to the spotlighted hung fruit to read the information next to it.
"It's called the 'Comedian'. 'This piece is a symbol of global trade and a witty double entendre. The angle of the duct tape and the banana are chosen with precision to properly emulate the intended message-,'"
"What message?!" Jun hissed.
"'-This is the third edition of the piece. The first and second having sold at £91,000 each-'"
"No."
"-and the third edition bought by this museum at £114,000-'"
"Oh my god."
"'-Each edition comes with its own certificate of authenticity. The original banana was bought at a Miami supermarket. The bananas are regularly replaced as seen fit.' Huh, interesting."
Silence rang through the room as they both stared at the bruised strapped fruit.
"Th-this is a joke," Jun whispers in horrified awe.
Wonwoo spares him a glance, "No, it's a banana."
Jun looks at him incredulously.
"This. This isn't even the original banana."
"Well, they said they have a certificate of authentici-"
"No! This is- It's, it's stupid! This banana costs my university fees and it's not even the real banana? The Miami banana? The donut makes more sense and it's a donut with a duck on it! Even the pile of bricks and the ugly doll, oh stop wailing you stupid thing, is less of a joke than this goddamned penis replacement fruit! I don't understand and I'm sorry but none of this is art, it's just, it's just fart!"
And Wonwoo laughs. Hard. Practically guffaws. It's probably the loudest he has ever heard him. He's even clapping at Jun's misery.
"Oh, oh, god. I'm so glad you think the same way," he breathes out, clinging onto Jun's shoulder to stop himself from tumbling forward into giggles.
"What."
"I had no idea what we were looking at the entire time. You just seemed so interested and I didn't want to offend you," Wonwoo explained somewhat sheepishly.
"I thought you liked this stuff so I pretended I knew what was going on!" Jun exclaimed, "Minghao said you go to museums and stuff with him so I thought…"
Wonwoo blinks, "Ah, I usually go to science and history museums. If I go to art museums, it's usually the historical paintings. It's really fascinating and sometimes hilarious how various eras portray felines."
"Oh, I love ugly medieval lions!"
"I think there's a medieval art section at the back. Are you interested?"
Jun looped his arm around Wonwoo's and smiles widely at him.
"Absolutely bananas."