Ship/Member: Hoshi/J-Hope (yes you read that right) Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: everytime someone says horanghae he gets stronger, crack/comedy, the horanghaefication of dante’s inferno Permission to remix: Yes ahaha you can try
***
It starts on December 27, 2021. J-Hope instagrams a porcelain tiger, caption:
HoRanghae 🐯
On December 27, 2021. Soonyoung goes to the gym with Jihoon, and breaks his personal best on the bench press.
Not his own record, Jihoon’s. 85kgs. 190 pounds.
“What the fuck,” Jihoon says, in his black sleeveless muscle tee and tiny gym shorts, “How the fuck.” A vein on his bicep trembles delicately.
Soonyoung looks at his hands, “I think I can take another 5.”
“No this is impossible,” Jihoon turns to their trainer, “What did you give him. Steroids? Coffee?"
Jaewoo eyes the weight stack, “You’re in great condition Soonyoung, how about adding 10?”
Jihoon gets out his phone and calls Seungcheol.
///
They come home from the gym and Jisoo pushes past him like an American bully in a high school movie where all the actors are in their twenties.
"Hyung!" Soonyoung yelps, "Whats the rush."
Jisoo smiles at him but his eyes are narrowed. Soonyoung's not sure what he should look at for social cues. He chooses the mouth, Jisoo is a nice guy. The nicest hyung.
"Heard you beat Jihoon at the bench Soonie-ah," Jisoo purrs. Soonyoung notices his immaculate posture, oh wow hyung's pecs look great in that white shirt. And those grey sweatpants are doing wonders for —
"Ah yes haha," Soonyoung scratches the back of his neck, "Jaewoo said I was in a great condition."
"Great condition?" Jisoo's voice cracks at the end, a high pitched squeak that he coughs down. "95kg? With those puny arms," he adds breathlessly, voice a pained whisper.
"Sorry I missed the last part?"
"I mean," Jisoo's smile grows even sweeter, "How do you feel about another round? Hyung needs a workout buddy and if you're in a great condition..."
"Aha," Soonyoung shuffles back a bit, "I'd love to hyung but I need to meet Hobi at the studio later -"
"Just one set Soonyoung, I'll buy you ice cream."
"Um... I ate already."
"You can borrow my tiger jacket. The Paco Rabanne one."
"The furry one?"
"Yes, the furry one," Jisoo's eyes glint, "And if you beat my record, you can keep it. How about that?"
///
"Dude, nice jacket!"
"Thanks! It was a gift," Soonyoung beams. He only spent 5 minutes in the gym before rushing back to the HYBE building. He didn't want to be late his first time inside the Hope World studio. There was work to do, music to create, money to make et cetera. "Wearing it gets me in the zone.”
"Thanks for agreeing to feature. I wanted to do a tiger theme for next mixtape and knew you had to be in it." Hoseok spins around in his chair and started clicking around his computer, "Seokjin loves you by the way, Beomju showed him the horanghae song when they went fishing. It inspired him to make Super Tuna. So many years in the industry and he didn’t realise there was music that could touch your soul like that. Authenticity.” Hoseok smacks a chef’s kiss into the air.
"Horangi power?"
"No the original horanghae, the one you made on vlive," Hoseok clicked something and a loud autotune HORANG HAAEEE boomed from all directions, every single speaker enjoined in heavenly chorus. Hoseok wipes his eyes, "so beautiful.”
"Are we filming an MV for this?" Soonyoung asks. His limbs were itching, choreography already speeding through his mind. Hoseok was an amazing dancer and if they combined their brains they could make something great. Something so fantastic, SuperM's Tiger Inside would feel like a prequel.
"Absolutely, I can pass on ideas to the concept team."
"I want to ride a tiger, the biggest tiger possible."
"No problem our CGI team is dope, it'll be like Idol. Flashy, loud.”
"10 tigers? Can there be 10 of me dancing on 10 tigers? Fighting 8 dragons?"
"Can't see why not."
"Oh, oh!" Soonyoung bounces in his seat, "Can we have Lightning McQueen?"
"The...designer?" Hoseok furrows his brows.
"No the car. From the movie, Cars. It's my favourite movie," Soonyoung grins "After winning the dance battle against the dragons, I want to turn into a tiger, parachute into Lightning McQueen, and drive into the sunset."
Hoseok cups his chin, deep in thought, "There might be a problem with copyright, but we can ask HYBE to buy Pixar, just for a month. Otherwise it'll blow our budget."
"That sounds perfectly logical," Soonyoung snaps his fingers, "Can we buy SM and get NCT as back up dancers?"
"Woah woah, slow down down tiger, let's make the song first."
Sparks tingle up Soonyoung's spine, electric and extraordinary. His brain seems to fire up and energy flashes into his fingertips. He feels like he could lift up a building or run 10 miles.
"What did you just call me?"
"Tiger? It's just an expression -"
Sparks, electricity, flashes. Soonyoung flexes his fingers. "I like that." The fluorescent lights above them flicker.
///
“Soonyoung-ah!” A voice rings behind him. Soonyoung spins around just as the lift doors starts to close. He sticks a hand out and Bang Si Hyuk stumbles inside.
“Bang PD-nim!” Soonyoung bows. Bang PD flaps his hand at the formalities, “Don’t mind don’t mind. The face ID for these lifts never work for me…”
“Ahaha is that so, Jeonghan has the same problem,” Soonyoung bows again, just for good luck and proper manners.
“I have an excellent feeling for your collaboration with Hoseok,” Bang PD smiles, “Very timely, with the year of the tiger and all. Great merchandise potential, tiger versions of BTS, oh, you and J-Hope first of course. We’ll time it with the mixtape drop… make a Mcdonalds meal and an Samsung theme song and —”
Soonyoung perks up, “Tiger versions of me?”
“Yes yes,” Bang PD nods, “I believe in the western market they are called, hmm, fursonas. Very lucrative, yes.” The elevator starts to slow down and Bang PD leans in, “One more thing, excuse me if I’m presumptuous but since you’re the authority on this…”
Soonyoung glances around the empty lift before leaning in as well. Is this the part where the CEO finally recognises his talent and gives him NCT as back up dancers?
“Would it be appropriate to say, bangranghae?”
///
“Hyung, did you get taller?”
Soonyoung looks to his left. It’s Minghao, styling clips still in his hair and bare-faced, joining him at the television to watch the news broadcast. Nothing seems off, he’s looking to Minghao at eye level.
“No?”
“I’m wearing heels hyung.”
Soonyoung looks down. That’s true. Minghao is in these fashionable leather heels with a split toe. It makes him look like a cow, but Soonyoung’s not going to say that out loud. Minghao’s been sensitive lately, something about the fengshui and the qi being off.
" — thank you to all citizens of the Republic of Korea. We would not have made it through this difficult year without your tenacity and spirit," on the television, Moon Jae-in bows his head, broadcasting from the Presidential Office.
“Oh, you’re right,” Soonyoung turns to scan Minghao up and down, “I guess I’m still young and spritely, hohoho.”
“These are 7cm heels,” Minghao squints, “You’re 27 years old. I swear last week you weren’t this tall.” He stretches his neck back, “Hey Mingyu, come over here!”
“Mmph?” Mingyu perks up from a pile of clothes in the corner, like a corpse from the grave, “What?”
“We’re using you as a yardstick. I think Soonyoung’s grown.”
“— I wish you all a warm, cheerful Lunar New Year —”
Mingyu grumbles but he makes his way across the waiting room. On the way, he trips over Wonwoo and causes two more members to look in their direction. Soonyoung shuffles so that he’s back to back with Mingyu, squares his shoulders and straightens his back.
“Huh,” Minghao says, on the tips of his toes, “No not quite, Mingyu’s taller.”
“— and a blessed year of the tiger —”
“Aren’t they around the same?” Wonwoo contributes.
“No Mingyu’s definitely tal—”
“— horanghae!”
“...”
“Was that —”
“Did the President just…”
“...Yep.”
“Oh my god,” Minghao gasps, stumbling backwards, “Soonyoung’s taller than Mingyu.”
///
“Report,” Seungcheol taps two fingers on the coffee table. The members have assembled in the living room with Seungcheol sitting on the sofa like a yakuza boss. Soonyoung is kneeling on the floor like a criminal about to be executed. He opens his mouth.
“Wait,” Seungcheol holds out his hand, “where’s Jihoon.”
“He’s barricaded himself inside Universe Factory,” Vernon speaks up, “He says only true counter-revolutionaries can enter.”
Seungcheol snaps his fingers, “Minghao go get him.”
“Um, Minghao is with him.”
“Wonwoo.”
“Wonwoo too,” Seungkwan verbally rolls his eyes so heard you can hear don’t you know who is in the anti horanghae squad.
Seungcheol slaps the table with a bang. The room falls silent. “Okay. Seungkwan,” his voice is cold, “We’re not starting this meeting until everyone is here.”
15 very awkward minutes later, the three of them shuffle in behind Seungkwan and their manager, Younghwan.
“Okay where were we.”
Soonyoung opens his mouth.
“No not you,” Seungcheol points at Seokmin, “Report.”
“Sir — I, I mean. Hyung,” Seokmin jerks into a half bow and stops himself, freezing at an angle, “I went to 7-11 to buy ice cream and they were selling valentines day stuff. All, all the greeting cards said horanghae.”
Jun holds out his phone with both hands. Wonwoo leans over and presses play. APINK is doing a vlive, all six of them curling their fingers in cute claws, “Pink Pandas, horanghae~,” they echo.
Chan falls to his knees, gasping for air.
“Excuse me,” Younghwan coughs, “Lee Soo Man called. He wants Hoshi to headline SM Town. He’s going to center Tiger Inside with TVXQ as back-up dancers. Keone Madrid will choreograph.”
“What about Super-M?” Seungcheol asks.
“They’re in charge of the fan chant.”
“Bruno Mars just tweeted,” Seungkwan clutches his phone with a shaking hand, “and I quote, Hoshi is my favourite Seventeen member.”
Jihoon faints.
Seungcheol stares at Jihoon, then looks at Soonyoung. He crosses his arms, “this needs to stop.”
Soonyoung’s heartbeat pounds in his ears. There’s been something thrummig under his skin for more than a month, and he feels like a balloon about to burst, like his body is drawn tight over a ball of energy.
“Soonyoung? What do you have to say for yourself?”
Soonyoung flexes his hand, makes eye contact with Seungcheol, thinks of Avengers Endgame, and snaps his fingers.
Seungcheol disappears in a puff of smoke, his clothes collapse in a heap on the crowd. The room bursts into chaos. Jihoon, already on the floor, rolls over to poke at the bundle. It moves, Seungkwan screeches, and everyone runs back. A few tense seconds later, something small crawls out.
“You turned Seungcheol into a hamster!” Minghao yells.
“Cool,” says Vernon.
“He was a capitalist anyway,” mutters Seungkwan.
Soonyoung looks at his hand again, and looks up. The first person he sees is Minghao. “What am I?”
“Excuse me?” Minghao scrunches his face.
“What am I, Minghao? Tell me.”
“You’re human?”
“Wrong answer.” Soonyoung snaps his fingers. Minghao disappears. Another hamster appears on the floor, frozen in shock, then turns to scurry under the sofa. Soonyoung turns to Jeonghan.
“I’m —, you’re my favourite dongsaeng!” Jeonghan declares.
“Really!” Soonyoung beams, “I knew it.”
“Wait I thought Seungk —” Chan’s voice breaks off into a muffle. Seungkwan, in a marvellous display of agility, had leapt across the room to slam a hand over his mouth.
“Oh Chan,” Soonyoung redirects his attention, “if you had to do a Seventeen visual ranking again —”
“You’ll be first, Hoshi number 1!” Chan scrambles backwards, and after a beat, “Seungkwan is last.”
“Very good,” Soonyoung spins around, “Mingyu.”
“Yes!” Mingyu squeaks. He’s curled up into a little ball in the corner.
“Tell me,” Soonyoung approaches slowly, each step ringing on the tiles, “who won four-wheeled rider.”
In a surprising turn of events, Mingyu does not say anything. His mouth is clammed shut. There is evidence that humans can learn from their mistakes.
Soonyoung walks a step closer, “Who should have won four-wheeled rider.”
“... you?”
“And why is that?”
“...”
Soonyoung raises his hand, fingers poised for a snap. Mingyu curls in on himself.
Soonyoung shakes his head in disappointment. “The booster Mingyu. If I had the booster as I rightfully deserved, I would have won.” He snaps his fingers and Mingyu disappears. “I knew it. All capitalists are bad.”
He makes eye contact with Seokmin in the corner, eyes wide open and shaking. “Not all capitalists.”
“Anyway,” Soonyoung continues, “Seokmin, can you tell me what am I?”
“.... a tiger?” Seokmin squeaks out.
Power surges inside Soonyoung.
“Very good, again.”
“You’re a tiger, a tiger.” Wonwoo joins in.
“Again!”
“A tiger, tiger, TIGER,” the room chants.
Soonyoung cackles. Electricity sparks at his fingertips. He grows even taller. Outside, a car alarm sounds. He is unstoppable. He will unveil is true form, everyone will know that Kwon Soonyoung is a tiger and soon, the whole world will horanghae.
///
“Oh you’re awake.”
“Huh?” Soonyoung blinks. There’s a crick in his neck and a pulsing pain behind his temple, “Where am I?”
“My studio,” it’s Jung Hoseok, blurrily appearing at the edge of Soonyoung’s vision. He hands Soonyoung a bottle of water and reaches out to cup Soonyoung’s cheek tenderly. Soonyoung leans in. Huh, he doesn’t remember this developing so quickly. Or at all.
“Beomju introduced us,” Hoseok explains, “we went out to drink and started talking about a song? A collab between the two of us? You had an idea, got really excited, but then suddenly passed out.”
“Oh, haha, I do that sometimes,” Soonyoung scratches the back of his head, “Sorry.”
“Don’t mind, When you feel better, let me play what we got so far.”
“Does it have a name? The song?”
“Eye of the tiger,” Hoseok grins.
------
Scenes I was too sane to writes Key confesses his undying love, Hoshi sends DK to the shadow realm and turns into tiger godzila.
(+ Yang Jaewoo is actually SVT’s PT and you can hear him spill the beans here.)
[FILL] it's the eye of the tiger
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: everytime someone says horanghae he gets stronger, crack/comedy, the horanghaefication of dante’s inferno
Permission to remix: Yes ahaha you can try
***
It starts on December 27, 2021. J-Hope instagrams a porcelain tiger, caption:
On December 27, 2021. Soonyoung goes to the gym with Jihoon, and breaks his personal best on the bench press.
Not his own record, Jihoon’s. 85kgs. 190 pounds.
“What the fuck,” Jihoon says, in his black sleeveless muscle tee and tiny gym shorts, “How the fuck.” A vein on his bicep trembles delicately.
Soonyoung looks at his hands, “I think I can take another 5.”
“No this is impossible,” Jihoon turns to their trainer, “What did you give him. Steroids? Coffee?"
Jaewoo eyes the weight stack, “You’re in great condition Soonyoung, how about adding 10?”
Jihoon gets out his phone and calls Seungcheol.
///
They come home from the gym and Jisoo pushes past him like an American bully in a high school movie where all the actors are in their twenties.
"Hyung!" Soonyoung yelps, "Whats the rush."
Jisoo smiles at him but his eyes are narrowed. Soonyoung's not sure what he should look at for social cues. He chooses the mouth, Jisoo is a nice guy. The nicest hyung.
"Heard you beat Jihoon at the bench Soonie-ah," Jisoo purrs. Soonyoung notices his immaculate posture, oh wow hyung's pecs look great in that white shirt. And those grey sweatpants are doing wonders for —
"Ah yes haha," Soonyoung scratches the back of his neck, "Jaewoo said I was in a great condition."
"Great condition?" Jisoo's voice cracks at the end, a high pitched squeak that he coughs down. "95kg? With those puny arms," he adds breathlessly, voice a pained whisper.
"Sorry I missed the last part?"
"I mean," Jisoo's smile grows even sweeter, "How do you feel about another round? Hyung needs a workout buddy and if you're in a great condition..."
"Aha," Soonyoung shuffles back a bit, "I'd love to hyung but I need to meet Hobi at the studio later -"
"Just one set Soonyoung, I'll buy you ice cream."
"Um... I ate already."
"You can borrow my tiger jacket. The Paco Rabanne one."
"The furry one?"
"Yes, the furry one," Jisoo's eyes glint, "And if you beat my record, you can keep it. How about that?"
///
"Dude, nice jacket!"
"Thanks! It was a gift," Soonyoung beams. He only spent 5 minutes in the gym before rushing back to the HYBE building. He didn't want to be late his first time inside the Hope World studio. There was work to do, music to create, money to make et cetera. "Wearing it gets me in the zone.”
"Thanks for agreeing to feature. I wanted to do a tiger theme for next mixtape and knew you had to be in it." Hoseok spins around in his chair and started clicking around his computer, "Seokjin loves you by the way, Beomju showed him the horanghae song when they went fishing. It inspired him to make Super Tuna. So many years in the industry and he didn’t realise there was music that could touch your soul like that. Authenticity.” Hoseok smacks a chef’s kiss into the air.
"Horangi power?"
"No the original horanghae, the one you made on vlive," Hoseok clicked something and a loud autotune HORANG HAAEEE boomed from all directions, every single speaker enjoined in heavenly chorus. Hoseok wipes his eyes, "so beautiful.”
"Are we filming an MV for this?" Soonyoung asks. His limbs were itching, choreography already speeding through his mind. Hoseok was an amazing dancer and if they combined their brains they could make something great. Something so fantastic, SuperM's Tiger Inside would feel like a prequel.
"Absolutely, I can pass on ideas to the concept team."
"I want to ride a tiger, the biggest tiger possible."
"No problem our CGI team is dope, it'll be like Idol. Flashy, loud.”
"10 tigers? Can there be 10 of me dancing on 10 tigers? Fighting 8 dragons?"
"Can't see why not."
"Oh, oh!" Soonyoung bounces in his seat, "Can we have Lightning McQueen?"
"The...designer?" Hoseok furrows his brows.
"No the car. From the movie, Cars. It's my favourite movie," Soonyoung grins "After winning the dance battle against the dragons, I want to turn into a tiger, parachute into Lightning McQueen, and drive into the sunset."
Hoseok cups his chin, deep in thought, "There might be a problem with copyright, but we can ask HYBE to buy Pixar, just for a month. Otherwise it'll blow our budget."
"That sounds perfectly logical," Soonyoung snaps his fingers, "Can we buy SM and get NCT as back up dancers?"
"Woah woah, slow down down tiger, let's make the song first."
Sparks tingle up Soonyoung's spine, electric and extraordinary. His brain seems to fire up and energy flashes into his fingertips. He feels like he could lift up a building or run 10 miles.
"What did you just call me?"
"Tiger? It's just an expression -"
Sparks, electricity, flashes. Soonyoung flexes his fingers. "I like that." The fluorescent lights above them flicker.
///
“Soonyoung-ah!” A voice rings behind him. Soonyoung spins around just as the lift doors starts to close. He sticks a hand out and Bang Si Hyuk stumbles inside.
“Bang PD-nim!” Soonyoung bows. Bang PD flaps his hand at the formalities, “Don’t mind don’t mind. The face ID for these lifts never work for me…”
“Ahaha is that so, Jeonghan has the same problem,” Soonyoung bows again, just for good luck and proper manners.
“I have an excellent feeling for your collaboration with Hoseok,” Bang PD smiles, “Very timely, with the year of the tiger and all. Great merchandise potential, tiger versions of BTS, oh, you and J-Hope first of course. We’ll time it with the mixtape drop… make a Mcdonalds meal and an Samsung theme song and —”
Soonyoung perks up, “Tiger versions of me?”
“Yes yes,” Bang PD nods, “I believe in the western market they are called, hmm, fursonas. Very lucrative, yes.” The elevator starts to slow down and Bang PD leans in, “One more thing, excuse me if I’m presumptuous but since you’re the authority on this…”
Soonyoung glances around the empty lift before leaning in as well. Is this the part where the CEO finally recognises his talent and gives him NCT as back up dancers?
“Would it be appropriate to say, bangranghae?”
///
“Hyung, did you get taller?”
Soonyoung looks to his left. It’s Minghao, styling clips still in his hair and bare-faced, joining him at the television to watch the news broadcast. Nothing seems off, he’s looking to Minghao at eye level.
“No?”
“I’m wearing heels hyung.”
Soonyoung looks down. That’s true. Minghao is in these fashionable leather heels with a split toe. It makes him look like a cow, but Soonyoung’s not going to say that out loud. Minghao’s been sensitive lately, something about the fengshui and the qi being off.
" — thank you to all citizens of the Republic of Korea. We would not have made it through this difficult year without your tenacity and spirit," on the television, Moon Jae-in bows his head, broadcasting from the Presidential Office.
“Oh, you’re right,” Soonyoung turns to scan Minghao up and down, “I guess I’m still young and spritely, hohoho.”
“These are 7cm heels,” Minghao squints, “You’re 27 years old. I swear last week you weren’t this tall.” He stretches his neck back, “Hey Mingyu, come over here!”
“Mmph?” Mingyu perks up from a pile of clothes in the corner, like a corpse from the grave, “What?”
“We’re using you as a yardstick. I think Soonyoung’s grown.”
“— I wish you all a warm, cheerful Lunar New Year —”
Mingyu grumbles but he makes his way across the waiting room. On the way, he trips over Wonwoo and causes two more members to look in their direction. Soonyoung shuffles so that he’s back to back with Mingyu, squares his shoulders and straightens his back.
“Huh,” Minghao says, on the tips of his toes, “No not quite, Mingyu’s taller.”
“— and a blessed year of the tiger —”
“Aren’t they around the same?” Wonwoo contributes.
“No Mingyu’s definitely tal—”
“— horanghae!”
“...”
“Was that —”
“Did the President just…”
“...Yep.”
“Oh my god,” Minghao gasps, stumbling backwards, “Soonyoung’s taller than Mingyu.”
///
“Report,” Seungcheol taps two fingers on the coffee table. The members have assembled in the living room with Seungcheol sitting on the sofa like a yakuza boss. Soonyoung is kneeling on the floor like a criminal about to be executed. He opens his mouth.
“Wait,” Seungcheol holds out his hand, “where’s Jihoon.”
“He’s barricaded himself inside Universe Factory,” Vernon speaks up, “He says only true counter-revolutionaries can enter.”
Seungcheol snaps his fingers, “Minghao go get him.”
“Um, Minghao is with him.”
“Wonwoo.”
“Wonwoo too,” Seungkwan verbally rolls his eyes so heard you can hear don’t you know who is in the anti horanghae squad.
Seungcheol slaps the table with a bang. The room falls silent. “Okay. Seungkwan,” his voice is cold, “We’re not starting this meeting until everyone is here.”
15 very awkward minutes later, the three of them shuffle in behind Seungkwan and their manager, Younghwan.
“Okay where were we.”
Soonyoung opens his mouth.
“No not you,” Seungcheol points at Seokmin, “Report.”
“Sir — I, I mean. Hyung,” Seokmin jerks into a half bow and stops himself, freezing at an angle, “I went to 7-11 to buy ice cream and they were selling valentines day stuff. All, all the greeting cards said horanghae.”
“It’s trending on naver,” Seungkwan interjects, “It’s beating shingi banggi bboong bboong banggi.”
From somewhere in the corner, Jeonghan splutters.
Jun holds out his phone with both hands. Wonwoo leans over and presses play. APINK is doing a vlive, all six of them curling their fingers in cute claws, “Pink Pandas, horanghae~,” they echo.
Chan falls to his knees, gasping for air.
“Excuse me,” Younghwan coughs, “Lee Soo Man called. He wants Hoshi to headline SM Town. He’s going to center Tiger Inside with TVXQ as back-up dancers. Keone Madrid will choreograph.”
“What about Super-M?” Seungcheol asks.
“They’re in charge of the fan chant.”
“Bruno Mars just tweeted,” Seungkwan clutches his phone with a shaking hand, “and I quote, Hoshi is my favourite Seventeen member.”
Jihoon faints.
Seungcheol stares at Jihoon, then looks at Soonyoung. He crosses his arms, “this needs to stop.”
Soonyoung’s heartbeat pounds in his ears. There’s been something thrummig under his skin for more than a month, and he feels like a balloon about to burst, like his body is drawn tight over a ball of energy.
“Soonyoung? What do you have to say for yourself?”
Soonyoung flexes his hand, makes eye contact with Seungcheol, thinks of Avengers Endgame, and snaps his fingers.
Seungcheol disappears in a puff of smoke, his clothes collapse in a heap on the crowd. The room bursts into chaos. Jihoon, already on the floor, rolls over to poke at the bundle. It moves, Seungkwan screeches, and everyone runs back. A few tense seconds later, something small crawls out.
“You turned Seungcheol into a hamster!” Minghao yells.
“Cool,” says Vernon.
“He was a capitalist anyway,” mutters Seungkwan.
Soonyoung looks at his hand again, and looks up. The first person he sees is Minghao. “What am I?”
“Excuse me?” Minghao scrunches his face.
“What am I, Minghao? Tell me.”
“You’re human?”
“Wrong answer.” Soonyoung snaps his fingers. Minghao disappears. Another hamster appears on the floor, frozen in shock, then turns to scurry under the sofa. Soonyoung turns to Jeonghan.
“I’m —, you’re my favourite dongsaeng!” Jeonghan declares.
“Really!” Soonyoung beams, “I knew it.”
“Wait I thought Seungk —” Chan’s voice breaks off into a muffle. Seungkwan, in a marvellous display of agility, had leapt across the room to slam a hand over his mouth.
“Oh Chan,” Soonyoung redirects his attention, “if you had to do a Seventeen visual ranking again —”
“You’ll be first, Hoshi number 1!” Chan scrambles backwards, and after a beat, “Seungkwan is last.”
“Very good,” Soonyoung spins around, “Mingyu.”
“Yes!” Mingyu squeaks. He’s curled up into a little ball in the corner.
“Tell me,” Soonyoung approaches slowly, each step ringing on the tiles, “who won four-wheeled rider.”
In a surprising turn of events, Mingyu does not say anything. His mouth is clammed shut. There is evidence that humans can learn from their mistakes.
Soonyoung walks a step closer, “Who should have won four-wheeled rider.”
“... you?”
“And why is that?”
“...”
Soonyoung raises his hand, fingers poised for a snap. Mingyu curls in on himself.
“I don’t know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I don’t know —”
Soonyoung shakes his head in disappointment. “The booster Mingyu. If I had the booster as I rightfully deserved, I would have won.” He snaps his fingers and Mingyu disappears. “I knew it. All capitalists are bad.”
He makes eye contact with Seokmin in the corner, eyes wide open and shaking. “Not all capitalists.”
“Anyway,” Soonyoung continues, “Seokmin, can you tell me what am I?”
“.... a tiger?” Seokmin squeaks out.
Power surges inside Soonyoung.
“Very good, again.”
“You’re a tiger, a tiger.” Wonwoo joins in.
“Again!”
“A tiger, tiger, TIGER,” the room chants.
Soonyoung cackles. Electricity sparks at his fingertips. He grows even taller. Outside, a car alarm sounds. He is unstoppable. He will unveil is true form, everyone will know that Kwon Soonyoung is a tiger and soon, the whole world will horanghae.
///
“Oh you’re awake.”
“Huh?” Soonyoung blinks. There’s a crick in his neck and a pulsing pain behind his temple, “Where am I?”
“My studio,” it’s Jung Hoseok, blurrily appearing at the edge of Soonyoung’s vision. He hands Soonyoung a bottle of water and reaches out to cup Soonyoung’s cheek tenderly. Soonyoung leans in. Huh, he doesn’t remember this developing so quickly. Or at all.
“Beomju introduced us,” Hoseok explains, “we went out to drink and started talking about a song? A collab between the two of us? You had an idea, got really excited, but then suddenly passed out.”
“Oh, haha, I do that sometimes,” Soonyoung scratches the back of his head, “Sorry.”
“Don’t mind, When you feel better, let me play what we got so far.”
“Does it have a name? The song?”
“Eye of the tiger,” Hoseok grins.
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Scenes I was too sane to writes Key confesses his undying love, Hoshi sends DK to the shadow realm and turns into tiger godzila.
(+ Yang Jaewoo is actually SVT’s PT and you can hear him spill the beans here.)