Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Jihoon Major Tags: Thoughts of death, graphic depiction of injuries, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, implied sexual content Additional Tags: Fantasy ??? Wonwoo is a god here hehe, First Person POV Permission to remix: Please ask
*** I walk around with a shackle around my throat although its unseen.
It's not so bad, I can breathe in as much as I want and the food doesn't take a while to go down. It doesn't even bother me as I bathe, a little allowance of space before it kissed my neck was given and I could still pretend it wasn't there if my maids hid it under enough silk.
They told me I was lucky; it was nothing but a slap on the wrist, a warning for toeing the line.
Luck was not often given to humans who betrayed their kin.
"Good thing you're a god then." Jeonghan had chuckled, amused as I laid stomach-down on my sick bed.
The air was filled with the sharp scent of medicinal herbs and the metallic tang of blood from my opened wounds.
Gods still bled and it had been many moons before I could straighten my back without gritting my teeth.
Perhaps it was better to be human.
At least my wounds would succumb to disease, bones breaking as the paddle came down heavy against my spine, at least my finiteness would know an end.
But gods were unchanging, we bleed but we do not die.
Perhaps that is their intended punishment for me—to wish for death but receive no release.
And because human cruelty knows no bounds: their patience stretched taut and thin by the plagues that wreck their nations, their vengeance as sharp as the knives they drive into the hearts of their enemies—gods, humans, creatures alike—and their anger that only saw red; they hand me a sword and ask me to fight.
There is no doubt that my once-comrades in the battlefield would not hesitate to cut me as deep as they cut out foes, then look the other way.
They'd call it a casualty and then wheel me back into the palace with my maids attending, absolved in their crimes because I would not die.
I could not die.
Gods were unchanging and I was cursed to watch humanity tear themselves open as they remake the world we once created for them.
You were amongst them, now.
A general, one of the servants who still stood by my side whispered after you walked into the war room and silenced the entire crowd with a single look.
I had never felt so proud of you then—you were shining, every sinew poised for the battlefield, tendons light and hands quick.
I used to map ancient words on the palm of your hands, whispering my love and devotion for you as you slept. You'd ask me then, what they meant but I feared my words would scare you so I simply kissed the lids of your eyes and lulled you to sleep in my arms.
But now, I think you'd no sooner aim a javelin to my throat than let me stand by your side.
You spoke boldly, addressed the growing unrest within your ranks with words that evoked a sense of duty in them and they listened to you.
I listened to you.
Between the both of us, it was you who should have been blessed by the heavens with eternity.
The warriors cheered and shouted your name when you ended your speech, they called you their savior, their enemies' executioner, the new King.
I knew you never wanted these titles, you simply wanted for the war to end so you could tend to your sheep and carry your sisters on your back again.
You wanted to come home.
But when our eyes met. I knew you could only see a stranger.
I saw the tension form, your fingers curled at the hilt of your sword, your eyes blazed with righteous fury.
I could not blame you, I would not blame you.
I leave before you can have the chance to cut open my chest even more.
*
Gods were unchanging and yet I tried to change the world so you could tend to your sheep and carry your sisters on your back once more without blood dripping on your hands.
I should have known Fate did not listen, even to desperate and love-sick gods. Especially to desperate and love-sick gods.
What was written was to be.
And I was branded a traitor for trying to save your soul.
**
Human cruelty knew no bounds and it did not surprise me when you stepped into my chambers late into the night after the maids have put my hair down and wiped the day's work off of my skin.
The silks were not enough and I was not quick to hide my throat.
"How juvenile." You chastised as your eyes met my skin and I shiver with how heavy your gaze have always been.
I turned away, afraid of what I would see if I let you in more.
"General, good evening." I speak and I thank my tutors for teaching me the art of indifference, "How may this lowly one be of service to you?"
Despite my godhood, I knew I was seen as nothing but a common slave. The luxuries afforded to me was only because despite their cruelty, humans still feared the wrath of gods.
You were silent for a moment and I did nothing but stand where you found me, afraid to break what little peace that surrounded us before your anger reared its ugly head.
I knew you would not draw your sword to hurt me, your beliefs forbade you to.
(That was why you were not the one who handed my punishment, you left when they drew the first blood out of me.
I was thankful for your graciousness then.
I would not know how to look you in the eye if you saw me in despair.)
But humans were crafty and words hurt just as much as barbed arrows.
"Why did you betray us."
I knew you wanted to ask why I betrayed you but perhaps not, I did not know the tune of your heart anymore.
"I did it to stop the blood shed, to spare innocent lives, to end the war."
I did it for you.
"Lies." You hiss and your disbelief stings my skin and I could feel the shackles tighten around my neck like a garrote. "The Council was right, you are nothing but a liar and a traitor."
I let your words fall, I let your anger rise into the surface, I let you bite my skin and split my wounds open, I let you bound me, I let and let and let.
This was what I deserved.
***
In the morning I stare at the blacks and blues on my skin.
Jihoon-ah, has your anger quelled now?
-
I hope you enjoy! The prompt was lovely, thank your for sharing ^^
Re: [FILL] what i deserved (swirly eyes emoji)
Major Tags: Thoughts of death, graphic depiction of injuries, mentions of blood, mentions of violence, implied sexual content
Additional Tags: Fantasy ??? Wonwoo is a god here hehe, First Person POV
Permission to remix: Please ask
***
I walk around with a shackle around my throat although its unseen.
It's not so bad, I can breathe in as much as I want and the food doesn't take a while to go down. It doesn't even bother me as I bathe, a little allowance of space before it kissed my neck was given and I could still pretend it wasn't there if my maids hid it under enough silk.
They told me I was lucky; it was nothing but a slap on the wrist, a warning for toeing the line.
Luck was not often given to humans who betrayed their kin.
"Good thing you're a god then." Jeonghan had chuckled, amused as I laid stomach-down on my sick bed.
The air was filled with the sharp scent of medicinal herbs and the metallic tang of blood from my opened wounds.
Gods still bled and it had been many moons before I could straighten my back without gritting my teeth.
Perhaps it was better to be human.
At least my wounds would succumb to disease, bones breaking as the paddle came down heavy against my spine, at least my finiteness would know an end.
But gods were unchanging, we bleed but we do not die.
Perhaps that is their intended punishment for me—to wish for death but receive no release.
And because human cruelty knows no bounds: their patience stretched taut and thin by the plagues that wreck their nations, their vengeance as sharp as the knives they drive into the hearts of their enemies—gods, humans, creatures alike—and their anger that only saw red; they hand me a sword and ask me to fight.
There is no doubt that my once-comrades in the battlefield would not hesitate to cut me as deep as they cut out foes, then look the other way.
They'd call it a casualty and then wheel me back into the palace with my maids attending, absolved in their crimes because I would not die.
I could not die.
Gods were unchanging and I was cursed to watch humanity tear themselves open as they remake the world we once created for them.
You were amongst them, now.
A general, one of the servants who still stood by my side whispered after you walked into the war room and silenced the entire crowd with a single look.
I had never felt so proud of you then—you were shining, every sinew poised for the battlefield, tendons light and hands quick.
I used to map ancient words on the palm of your hands, whispering my love and devotion for you as you slept. You'd ask me then, what they meant but I feared my words would scare you so I simply kissed the lids of your eyes and lulled you to sleep in my arms.
But now, I think you'd no sooner aim a javelin to my throat than let me stand by your side.
You spoke boldly, addressed the growing unrest within your ranks with words that evoked a sense of duty in them and they listened to you.
I listened to you.
Between the both of us, it was you who should have been blessed by the heavens with eternity.
The warriors cheered and shouted your name when you ended your speech, they called you their savior, their enemies' executioner, the new King.
I knew you never wanted these titles, you simply wanted for the war to end so you could tend to your sheep and carry your sisters on your back again.
You wanted to come home.
But when our eyes met. I knew you could only see a stranger.
I saw the tension form, your fingers curled at the hilt of your sword, your eyes blazed with righteous fury.
I could not blame you, I would not blame you.
I leave before you can have the chance to cut open my chest even more.
*
Gods were unchanging and yet I tried to change the world so you could tend to your sheep and carry your sisters on your back once more without blood dripping on your hands.
I should have known Fate did not listen, even to desperate and love-sick gods. Especially to desperate and love-sick gods.
What was written was to be.
And I was branded a traitor for trying to save your soul.
**
Human cruelty knew no bounds and it did not surprise me when you stepped into my chambers late into the night after the maids have put my hair down and wiped the day's work off of my skin.
The silks were not enough and I was not quick to hide my throat.
"How juvenile." You chastised as your eyes met my skin and I shiver with how heavy your gaze have always been.
I turned away, afraid of what I would see if I let you in more.
"General, good evening." I speak and I thank my tutors for teaching me the art of indifference, "How may this lowly one be of service to you?"
Despite my godhood, I knew I was seen as nothing but a common slave. The luxuries afforded to me was only because despite their cruelty, humans still feared the wrath of gods.
You were silent for a moment and I did nothing but stand where you found me, afraid to break what little peace that surrounded us before your anger reared its ugly head.
I knew you would not draw your sword to hurt me, your beliefs forbade you to.
(That was why you were not the one who handed my punishment, you left when they drew the first blood out of me.
I was thankful for your graciousness then.
I would not know how to look you in the eye if you saw me in despair.)
But humans were crafty and words hurt just as much as barbed arrows.
"Why did you betray us."
I knew you wanted to ask why I betrayed you but perhaps not, I did not know the tune of your heart anymore.
"I did it to stop the blood shed, to spare innocent lives, to end the war."
I did it for you.
"Lies." You hiss and your disbelief stings my skin and I could feel the shackles tighten around my neck like a garrote. "The Council was right, you are nothing but a liar and a traitor."
I let your words fall, I let your anger rise into the surface, I let you bite my skin and split my wounds open, I let you bound me, I let and let and let.
This was what I deserved.
***
In the morning I stare at the blacks and blues on my skin.
Jihoon-ah, has your anger quelled now?
-
I hope you enjoy! The prompt was lovely, thank your for sharing ^^
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