Ship/Member: Mingyu Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: character study, self reflection, end of a career, self hatred in a way, space metaphors because i am me Permission to remix: Yes WC: going for exactly 400 words yay
at first i was like, brekaup. but then i was like, no, make it sadder. i'm sorry!!
***
They always told him that love is weakness. To him, heart pinned on his sleeve for the whole world to see, love has always been strength, the reason he gets up in the morning, a driving force.
The love of his fans that reached him through the letters, the gifts, the calls, the meetings. The concerts, where the thirteen of them used to shine so bright on stages, blinding creatures ready to devour everything around them. The screams, the yelled lyrics, the fanchants, the thrill of their names being repeated over and over, until they lost their meaning and became just a chorus of words that spurred them to continue until they were exhausted, but happy. Always happy, and always full of love.
The love of his members, written in the hugs, the comforting words, the teasing even. The I love yous declared in front of the camera, for the Internet to pry on, and the ones whispered in the dark, when no one else could hear. The small gestures, the hands splayed against backs, the encouraging cheers to never give up, to keep on pushing themselves until their breaths became troubled, until they collapsed on their backs on the practice room floor.
What’s left of that love, if it has always been weakness?
A stronger Mingyu, one that looks himself in the mirror and doesn’t dissect his own body with his eyes, that doesn’t stare at his reflection and hates the dark circles below his eyes and the weird cut of his hairline? A Mingyu that can eat what he wants, at all hours of the day, without caring for the numbers on the scale or his abs disappearing?
Stripped of that love, Mingyu doesn’t really know who he is.
What makes him shine, if not the love that the people around him reflect back on him? The burning light in him is gone, because it was never his to begin with - the way he glowed came from outside.
Planetlight, it’s what it is, the diffuse reflection of starlight on a planet, a dull orb that isn’t bright, or beautiful, or warm.
He keeps the letters, he keeps the post-its, the gifts, but he hides them.
He can’t bear staring at his image in the mirror, because the love that made him shine is gone forever, and what is he, if not made of love?
[FILL]: feast on your life
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: character study, self reflection, end of a career, self hatred in a way, space metaphors because i am me
Permission to remix: Yes
WC: going for exactly 400 words yay
at first i was like, brekaup. but then i was like, no, make it sadder. i'm sorry!!
***
They always told him that love is weakness. To him, heart pinned on his sleeve for the whole world to see, love has always been strength, the reason he gets up in the morning, a driving force.
The love of his fans that reached him through the letters, the gifts, the calls, the meetings. The concerts, where the thirteen of them used to shine so bright on stages, blinding creatures ready to devour everything around them. The screams, the yelled lyrics, the fanchants, the thrill of their names being repeated over and over, until they lost their meaning and became just a chorus of words that spurred them to continue until they were exhausted, but happy. Always happy, and always full of love.
The love of his members, written in the hugs, the comforting words, the teasing even. The I love yous declared in front of the camera, for the Internet to pry on, and the ones whispered in the dark, when no one else could hear. The small gestures, the hands splayed against backs, the encouraging cheers to never give up, to keep on pushing themselves until their breaths became troubled, until they collapsed on their backs on the practice room floor.
What’s left of that love, if it has always been weakness?
A stronger Mingyu, one that looks himself in the mirror and doesn’t dissect his own body with his eyes, that doesn’t stare at his reflection and hates the dark circles below his eyes and the weird cut of his hairline? A Mingyu that can eat what he wants, at all hours of the day, without caring for the numbers on the scale or his abs disappearing?
Stripped of that love, Mingyu doesn’t really know who he is.
What makes him shine, if not the love that the people around him reflect back on him? The burning light in him is gone, because it was never his to begin with - the way he glowed came from outside.
Planetlight, it’s what it is, the diffuse reflection of starlight on a planet, a dull orb that isn’t bright, or beautiful, or warm.
He keeps the letters, he keeps the post-its, the gifts, but he hides them.
He can’t bear staring at his image in the mirror, because the love that made him shine is gone forever, and what is he, if not made of love?