Ship/Member: Vernon/Chan Major Tags: violence, dystopia Additional Tags: gang initiations, mean emotionless vernon, chan nearly dying Permission to remix: pls ask!
***
I’m drawn to the blood The flight of a one-winged dove How? How did this happen? How? How did this happen? -Sufjan Stevens
Chan is crying the first time Vernon puts a gun in his hand. Vernon is made of stone, expressionless, as he takes Chan by the shoulder and turns him around.
There is a body in front of them, hands and feet tied, bag over its head. Chan calls it a body, because if he calls it a person, he will fall to his knees.
“Shoot him,” Vernon says. “Or I’ll shoot you.”
–
“Hyung, you’re so cool,” Dino slurs up at Vernon. Seungkwan hisses at him to shut up, pressing down on his wound. Dino got too cocky earlier, rushing the warehouse and taking out the front guard, but not anticipating the reinforcements. Vernon came to clean house, but not quick enough to stop the bullet lodging in Dino’s stomach.
Dino had laughed at the crimson blooming on his shirt. “Hyung, am I gonna die?” he asked before Vernon tossed him over his shoulder, shouting at Seungkwan to drive, fucking drive Boo, come on -
He thinks he’s lost consciousness a few times, Vernon always slapping him back to life. An angry spectre hovering quietly as Seungkwan does his work, patching him up, cursing Dino’s name as he does so. “Lee Chan, I swear to God - “
“He’s Dino, Boo.”
“No,” Dino laughs, lightheaded as fuck. “I’m invincible.”
Seungkwan sighs, one bloody hand brushing Chan’s sweaty hair back. “Hansol, he’s lost a lot of blood.” Seungkwan only calls Vernon by his given name when it’s serious. Life or death. Chan blinks at them, his vision blurring.
Vernon leans forward to grab Chan by the chin, forcing him to look at him, ignoring Seungkwan’s angry protest. “Are you gonna die on me? Huh?”
“No sir,” Chan spits out, cheeky. Still alive. Some of his blood lands on Vernon’s cheek. Seungkwan pushes him away, but Chan pictures it staining Vernon’s skin. Always with him.
–
When the gang first came across him in the ruins of the city, Chan was skinny, starving. Desperate. Everyone he knew was dead, and he wanted to live. So he threw himself at the first sign of life, even if S.Coups had kicked him away with a look of disgust.
“Aw, he’s cute,” Jeonghan peered across S.Coups shoulder with a dangerous smile. “You don’t want to keep him?”
“He’s too skinny,” S.Coups grunted. “He’ll die in a second.”
Chan had crawled back, laying his cheek on S.Coups dirty boots. He’d lick them, if he had the energy. “Please,” he croaked, voice breaking from misuse. “Please.”
Jeonghan had whined, and S.Coups let out this heavy sigh. “Vernon,” he shouted towards the back of the group. A boy, just a boy, stepped out, the machine gun strapped over his shoulder too big for his lanky frame. He looked down at Chan blankly.
“This one’s yours.” S.Coups signs Chan’s life over, without thinking twice, and Vernon doesn't look like he cares at all. “Keep him alive if you want him.”
–
Chan’s first shot doesn’t do it. The body starts screaming from the pain, and Chan begins to sob, hands slick with sweat. The gun is cold and heavy, and he wants to throw it away. Vernon sighs. “Aim higher. Do it again.”
He smacks Chan upside the head when he doesn’t immediately do so. “Again,” he repeats and Chan trembles. Takes aim and -
It takes two more tries. Chan drops the gun as soon as the body drops to the floor. Then he’s next to go, vomiting up the contents of his stomach while Vernon watches impassively.
There’s a hand on his back. Taps twice. “Don’t be such a baby,” is all his keeper has to say for him before walking away.
–
“You’re late,” Vernon says coolly when Dino slides into the passenger seat with a whoop. He jingles the bag with their loot in Vernon’s face as he speeds away. Vernon glances over, brows furrowing. “You got more than I asked for.”
“Mmm,” Dino shows off the pretty little jewels he couldn’t resist snatching, amber with green swirling inside. “Pretty right? They remind me of your eyes, hyung.”
Vernon looks away. “You’re so reckless.”
I’m what you made me, Dino thinks. Everything Dino is, is because of Vernon. He reaches over to tap Vernon twice on the wrist. Vernon lets him.
–
Chan can’t sleep after that first kill. His dead parents come back to life in his dreams, trying to drag him down to hell with them. He’s a zombie during the day, doing as Vernon bids without complaint.
He dreams of Vernon coming to his bed once. Something like regret painted on his face. He holds Chan for a moment, letting him cry into his chest. “It gets easier,” dream Vernon says. “We’ll make it together. Okay?” He leaves Chan with his gun. His.
Chan is certain it was a dream. Vernon would never. But the next morning, Vernon’s gun rests on his pillow.
–
New recruits don’t get to prepare for initiation. As leader, S.Coups will decide when it’s time to prove themselves, usually at random. “If you choke, you’re dead meat,” is the one piece of advice passed around. Chan knows about this. But he doesn’t learn that practice isn’t allowed until after his own initiation and naming ceremony.
He’s sharing a drink with Seungkwan, who compliments his natural shooting. “I nearly pissed myself when I had to do it for the first time,” Seungkwan sighs unhappily.
Dino blinks. “That wasn’t my first time.”
Seungkwan blinks back. “What do you mean?”
He senses there’s something wrong but can’t put his finger on what. “I practiced with Vernon hyung, so I got good. Did you not practice?”
Seungkwan spits his drink out. “Practice? Really?” At Dino’s nod, Seungkwan gapes for a moment before bursting into laughter. “No shit. Wow! I guess Vernonie really wanted to keep you.”
He shakes his head, pouring Dino another drink. Dino stares down at it, something hot squirming in his stomach. He looks up, trying to seek Vernon in the crowd, but Seungkwan is talking again. “Don’t mention it to anyone. Okay?”
He doesn’t. Vernon doesn’t either. Another unspoken thing settling in the dust between them.
[FILL] me, in your blood-stained image
Major Tags: violence, dystopia
Additional Tags: gang initiations, mean emotionless vernon, chan nearly dying
Permission to remix: pls ask!
***
Chan is crying the first time Vernon puts a gun in his hand. Vernon is made of stone, expressionless, as he takes Chan by the shoulder and turns him around.
There is a body in front of them, hands and feet tied, bag over its head. Chan calls it a body, because if he calls it a person, he will fall to his knees.
“Shoot him,” Vernon says. “Or I’ll shoot you.”
–
“Hyung, you’re so cool,” Dino slurs up at Vernon. Seungkwan hisses at him to shut up, pressing down on his wound. Dino got too cocky earlier, rushing the warehouse and taking out the front guard, but not anticipating the reinforcements. Vernon came to clean house, but not quick enough to stop the bullet lodging in Dino’s stomach.
Dino had laughed at the crimson blooming on his shirt. “Hyung, am I gonna die?” he asked before Vernon tossed him over his shoulder, shouting at Seungkwan to drive, fucking drive Boo, come on -
He thinks he’s lost consciousness a few times, Vernon always slapping him back to life. An angry spectre hovering quietly as Seungkwan does his work, patching him up, cursing Dino’s name as he does so. “Lee Chan, I swear to God - “
“He’s Dino, Boo.”
“No,” Dino laughs, lightheaded as fuck. “I’m invincible.”
Seungkwan sighs, one bloody hand brushing Chan’s sweaty hair back. “Hansol, he’s lost a lot of blood.” Seungkwan only calls Vernon by his given name when it’s serious. Life or death. Chan blinks at them, his vision blurring.
Vernon leans forward to grab Chan by the chin, forcing him to look at him, ignoring Seungkwan’s angry protest. “Are you gonna die on me? Huh?”
“No sir,” Chan spits out, cheeky. Still alive. Some of his blood lands on Vernon’s cheek. Seungkwan pushes him away, but Chan pictures it staining Vernon’s skin. Always with him.
–
When the gang first came across him in the ruins of the city, Chan was skinny, starving. Desperate. Everyone he knew was dead, and he wanted to live. So he threw himself at the first sign of life, even if S.Coups had kicked him away with a look of disgust.
“Aw, he’s cute,” Jeonghan peered across S.Coups shoulder with a dangerous smile. “You don’t want to keep him?”
“He’s too skinny,” S.Coups grunted. “He’ll die in a second.”
Chan had crawled back, laying his cheek on S.Coups dirty boots. He’d lick them, if he had the energy. “Please,” he croaked, voice breaking from misuse. “Please.”
Jeonghan had whined, and S.Coups let out this heavy sigh. “Vernon,” he shouted towards the back of the group. A boy, just a boy, stepped out, the machine gun strapped over his shoulder too big for his lanky frame. He looked down at Chan blankly.
“This one’s yours.” S.Coups signs Chan’s life over, without thinking twice, and Vernon doesn't look like he cares at all. “Keep him alive if you want him.”
–
Chan’s first shot doesn’t do it. The body starts screaming from the pain, and Chan begins to sob, hands slick with sweat. The gun is cold and heavy, and he wants to throw it away. Vernon sighs. “Aim higher. Do it again.”
He smacks Chan upside the head when he doesn’t immediately do so. “Again,” he repeats and Chan trembles. Takes aim and -
It takes two more tries. Chan drops the gun as soon as the body drops to the floor. Then he’s next to go, vomiting up the contents of his stomach while Vernon watches impassively.
There’s a hand on his back. Taps twice. “Don’t be such a baby,” is all his keeper has to say for him before walking away.
–
“You’re late,” Vernon says coolly when Dino slides into the passenger seat with a whoop. He jingles the bag with their loot in Vernon’s face as he speeds away. Vernon glances over, brows furrowing. “You got more than I asked for.”
“Mmm,” Dino shows off the pretty little jewels he couldn’t resist snatching, amber with green swirling inside. “Pretty right? They remind me of your eyes, hyung.”
Vernon looks away. “You’re so reckless.”
I’m what you made me, Dino thinks. Everything Dino is, is because of Vernon. He reaches over to tap Vernon twice on the wrist. Vernon lets him.
–
Chan can’t sleep after that first kill. His dead parents come back to life in his dreams, trying to drag him down to hell with them. He’s a zombie during the day, doing as Vernon bids without complaint.
He dreams of Vernon coming to his bed once. Something like regret painted on his face. He holds Chan for a moment, letting him cry into his chest. “It gets easier,” dream Vernon says. “We’ll make it together. Okay?” He leaves Chan with his gun. His.
Chan is certain it was a dream. Vernon would never. But the next morning, Vernon’s gun rests on his pillow.
–
New recruits don’t get to prepare for initiation. As leader, S.Coups will decide when it’s time to prove themselves, usually at random. “If you choke, you’re dead meat,” is the one piece of advice passed around. Chan knows about this. But he doesn’t learn that practice isn’t allowed until after his own initiation and naming ceremony.
He’s sharing a drink with Seungkwan, who compliments his natural shooting. “I nearly pissed myself when I had to do it for the first time,” Seungkwan sighs unhappily.
Dino blinks. “That wasn’t my first time.”
Seungkwan blinks back. “What do you mean?”
He senses there’s something wrong but can’t put his finger on what. “I practiced with Vernon hyung, so I got good. Did you not practice?”
Seungkwan spits his drink out. “Practice? Really?” At Dino’s nod, Seungkwan gapes for a moment before bursting into laughter. “No shit. Wow! I guess Vernonie really wanted to keep you.”
He shakes his head, pouring Dino another drink. Dino stares down at it, something hot squirming in his stomach. He looks up, trying to seek Vernon in the crowd, but Seungkwan is talking again. “Don’t mention it to anyone. Okay?”
He doesn’t. Vernon doesn’t either. Another unspoken thing settling in the dust between them.