Ship/Member: Jihoon/Soonyoung Major Tags: Idolverse Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes
***
Jihoon hears the door unlock. He hears the telltale rustle of a plastic takeout bag, and the sound of two cans of soda being set down on a coffee table.
"Jihoon."
Jihoon doesn't bother looking away from his monitor. Seungcheol is the only person who has the new passcode to Jihoon's studio. Seungcheol is the only person Jihoon trusts like that.
"I don't want to eat," Jihoon says.
"I don't care," Seungcheol replies, plucking Jihoon's headphones off of his head and swiveling him in the direction of the coffee table. "You need to stop working on that song."
"I can't," Jihoon croaks out. "It needs to be perfect."
For possibly the hundredth time in the span of a day, Jihoon thinks about the first time Soonyoung heard Ruby.
Soonyoung, six months ago, two weeks before it all fell apart. Soonyoung sitting in Jihoon's chair with Jihoon's headphones on. Soonyoung grinning when the first verse started. Soonyoung jumping up when the pre-chorus came in, one hand over his mouth, the other hand clutching Jihoon's in a vice grip. By the time they got to the bridge, Soonyoung was pressing kisses all over Jihoon's face. "This is the one," he'd said in earnest. "This is your song."
Soonyoung came up with three different choreography ideas that same night.
As Jihoon dozed off on the car ride home, his phone started buzzing incessantly -
the song's about me isn't it LOL ur so weak literally all ur songs are about me do u think people will be able to tell
Jihoon remembers how he had squinted as he clicked his phone on, the light from the screen illuminating his face as he scowled at the boy sitting right next to him.
"You're such a fucking idiot," he grumbled.
Soonyoung just smiled, quickly typing out another text -
can i sleep over tonight
Jihoon had flopped his head down in Soonyoung's lap in response.
"Earth to Jihoon." Seungcheol snaps his fingers in front of Jihoon's face.
Jihoon stares at him blankly. Seungcheol was already halfway through his dinner, and Jihoon hadn't even noticed.
Seungcheol sighs. "I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."
"You know what's going on," Jihoon retorts.
Seungcheol raises an eyebrow, waiting for Jihoon to continue. This is the last song I'll allow myself to write about him, is what Jihoon wants to say. I just need to have this one perfect song and I swear I'll be done.
"It comes out in two weeks," is what he says instead.
"You need to stop doing this," Seungcheol tells him gently.
Jihoon fiddles with his ear, not meeting Seungcheol's eyes. "Doing what?"
"Going where I can't follow." Seungcheol points his chopsticks at Jihoon. "You get so fucking stuck in your own head and I feel like I can't reach you."
"I don't know how not to do that," Jihoon says quietly. "I'm sorry."
Jihoon's eyes drift towards the shelf where he had stuffed his journal - in it, hundreds of lines about the way Soonyoung's body fits against his own. Several pages of little anecdotes about Soonyoung's childhood that he didn't want to forget. A whole spread dedicated to the reasons why they didn't work out - we're too stubborn, we're too similar, we don't know how to ask for what we want.
Jihoon doesn't realize what he's saying until he feels the weight of it settle deep in his chest: "What if every song I write from here on out is about him?"
[FILL] don't you hate it when you love someone
Major Tags: Idolverse
Additional Tags: N/A
Permission to remix: Yes
***
Jihoon hears the door unlock. He hears the telltale rustle of a plastic takeout bag, and the sound of two cans of soda being set down on a coffee table.
"Jihoon."
Jihoon doesn't bother looking away from his monitor. Seungcheol is the only person who has the new passcode to Jihoon's studio. Seungcheol is the only person Jihoon trusts like that.
"I don't want to eat," Jihoon says.
"I don't care," Seungcheol replies, plucking Jihoon's headphones off of his head and swiveling him in the direction of the coffee table. "You need to stop working on that song."
"I can't," Jihoon croaks out. "It needs to be perfect."
For possibly the hundredth time in the span of a day, Jihoon thinks about the first time Soonyoung heard Ruby.
Soonyoung, six months ago, two weeks before it all fell apart. Soonyoung sitting in Jihoon's chair with Jihoon's headphones on. Soonyoung grinning when the first verse started. Soonyoung jumping up when the pre-chorus came in, one hand over his mouth, the other hand clutching Jihoon's in a vice grip. By the time they got to the bridge, Soonyoung was pressing kisses all over Jihoon's face. "This is the one," he'd said in earnest. "This is your song."
Soonyoung came up with three different choreography ideas that same night.
As Jihoon dozed off on the car ride home, his phone started buzzing incessantly -
the song's about me isn't it
LOL ur so weak literally all ur songs are about me
do u think people will be able to tell
Jihoon remembers how he had squinted as he clicked his phone on, the light from the screen illuminating his face as he scowled at the boy sitting right next to him.
"You're such a fucking idiot," he grumbled.
Soonyoung just smiled, quickly typing out another text -
can i sleep over tonight
Jihoon had flopped his head down in Soonyoung's lap in response.
"Earth to Jihoon." Seungcheol snaps his fingers in front of Jihoon's face.
Jihoon stares at him blankly. Seungcheol was already halfway through his dinner, and Jihoon hadn't even noticed.
Seungcheol sighs. "I can't help you if I don't know what's going on."
"You know what's going on," Jihoon retorts.
Seungcheol raises an eyebrow, waiting for Jihoon to continue. This is the last song I'll allow myself to write about him, is what Jihoon wants to say. I just need to have this one perfect song and I swear I'll be done.
"It comes out in two weeks," is what he says instead.
"You need to stop doing this," Seungcheol tells him gently.
Jihoon fiddles with his ear, not meeting Seungcheol's eyes. "Doing what?"
"Going where I can't follow." Seungcheol points his chopsticks at Jihoon. "You get so fucking stuck in your own head and I feel like I can't reach you."
"I don't know how not to do that," Jihoon says quietly. "I'm sorry."
Jihoon's eyes drift towards the shelf where he had stuffed his journal - in it, hundreds of lines about the way Soonyoung's body fits against his own. Several pages of little anecdotes about Soonyoung's childhood that he didn't want to forget. A whole spread dedicated to the reasons why they didn't work out - we're too stubborn, we're too similar, we don't know how to ask for what we want.
Jihoon doesn't realize what he's saying until he feels the weight of it settle deep in his chest: "What if every song I write from here on out is about him?"