Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Joshua Major Tags: none Additional Tags: they're girls, lesbian religious thinkery Permission to remix: Yes
et in arcadia, ego
Jisoo thinks that for a Catholic, she should be more ashamed. Religious guilt is cliched enough to have become meaningless to her. If the only way to avoid purgatory was to die as a small child, and she’s seventeen now, tall and strong for a girl, then what has anything in the past decade of her life mattered? No matter how good she is, how pious, how obedient, how demure, she will one day die and wait in purgatory, full of sin.
If there even is a God. Jisoo isn’t quite sure. It feels impossible to think of the world turning without one, but on the other hand, if God made Yoon Jeonghan, and placed her here, in front of Jisoo, and meant for Jisoo to not look and only think of her as a sister, then God is blind and stupid and cruel.
Jeonghan transferred to St. Perpetua et Felicitas from a public school last year, in a flurry of half-admiring, half-judging whispers about her fashionable bangs and bruised knees. She threw her luggage on the empty bed in Jisoo’s dorm room, smiled prettily, and never really left Jisoo’s side again.
Sometimes Jisoo feels a little crazy about Jeonghan. Jeonghan is easily likeable and the other girls seem to be drawn to her. They all call her unnie and ask her to fix their braids after gym glass. Jeonghan has other friends, who she sometimes goes for walks with, eats with, watches movies with. Sometimes Jeonghan comes to their room a second before curfiew, smiling and tired, and forces her way to Jisoo’s neatly made bed in her outside clothes, tucks her head into the crook of Jisoo’s neck, and tells her about how she’s been playing volleyball with Seungkwan and Junhui all evening and Jisoo gets so mad because Jeonghan didn’t invite her even though she hates volleyball but swallows it down because maybe she’s crazy on the inside but no one else needs to know about it, not even Jeonghan.
”That looks weird,” Jisoo opines from her desk, watching Jeonghan pull faces at her pocket mirror, mascara wand wavering in her hand. Jeonghan is the worst kind of beautiful – the effortless kind that makes her barefaced and glowing and inept with makeup. ”Your lashes go downward. You should curl them.”
Jeonghan makes a disgusted face.
”I don’t want to.”
”Do you know how to?” Jisoo asks and is met with a haughty silence that is answer enough. ”I can do it for you.”
Jisoo digs through her makeup bag for the curler and then stands awkwardly in the middle of their room.
”Come on then,” Jeonghan laughs and shuffles to the edge of her bed, long coltish legs dropping down to the floor. She pats her thighs in invitation and Jisoo thinks she should probably protest even a little, instead of giddily sitting down on her. Like this, she’s taller than Jeonghan, and with Jeonghan’s pointy little chin tilted up and eyes closed, it makes Jisoo wonder whether this is how God sees Jeonghan, when she prays or crosses herself.
Jeonghan’s bony fingers dig into the soft give of Jisoo’s thigh, when she presses the curler down on Jeonghan’s lashes. She holds the curl longer than necessary and thinks that maybe it’s not only God who is stupid and cruel. Or that maybe God really did make man in his own image.
[FILL] et in arcadia, ego
Major Tags: none
Additional Tags: they're girls, lesbian religious thinkery
Permission to remix: Yes
et in arcadia, ego
Jisoo thinks that for a Catholic, she should be more ashamed. Religious guilt is cliched enough to have become meaningless to her. If the only way to avoid purgatory was to die as a small child, and she’s seventeen now, tall and strong for a girl, then what has anything in the past decade of her life mattered? No matter how good she is, how pious, how obedient, how demure, she will one day die and wait in purgatory, full of sin.
If there even is a God. Jisoo isn’t quite sure. It feels impossible to think of the world turning without one, but on the other hand, if God made Yoon Jeonghan, and placed her here, in front of Jisoo, and meant for Jisoo to not look and only think of her as a sister, then God is blind and stupid and cruel.
Jeonghan transferred to St. Perpetua et Felicitas from a public school last year, in a flurry of half-admiring, half-judging whispers about her fashionable bangs and bruised knees. She threw her luggage on the empty bed in Jisoo’s dorm room, smiled prettily, and never really left Jisoo’s side again.
Sometimes Jisoo feels a little crazy about Jeonghan. Jeonghan is easily likeable and the other girls seem to be drawn to her. They all call her unnie and ask her to fix their braids after gym glass. Jeonghan has other friends, who she sometimes goes for walks with, eats with, watches movies with. Sometimes Jeonghan comes to their room a second before curfiew, smiling and tired, and forces her way to Jisoo’s neatly made bed in her outside clothes, tucks her head into the crook of Jisoo’s neck, and tells her about how she’s been playing volleyball with Seungkwan and Junhui all evening and Jisoo gets so mad because Jeonghan didn’t invite her even though she hates volleyball but swallows it down because maybe she’s crazy on the inside but no one else needs to know about it, not even Jeonghan.
”That looks weird,” Jisoo opines from her desk, watching Jeonghan pull faces at her pocket mirror, mascara wand wavering in her hand. Jeonghan is the worst kind of beautiful – the effortless kind that makes her barefaced and glowing and inept with makeup. ”Your lashes go downward. You should curl them.”
Jeonghan makes a disgusted face.
”I don’t want to.”
”Do you know how to?” Jisoo asks and is met with a haughty silence that is answer enough. ”I can do it for you.”
Jisoo digs through her makeup bag for the curler and then stands awkwardly in the middle of their room.
”Come on then,” Jeonghan laughs and shuffles to the edge of her bed, long coltish legs dropping down to the floor. She pats her thighs in invitation and Jisoo thinks she should probably protest even a little, instead of giddily sitting down on her. Like this, she’s taller than Jeonghan, and with Jeonghan’s pointy little chin tilted up and eyes closed, it makes Jisoo wonder whether this is how God sees Jeonghan, when she prays or crosses herself.
Jeonghan’s bony fingers dig into the soft give of Jisoo’s thigh, when she presses the curler down on Jeonghan’s lashes. She holds the curl longer than necessary and thinks that maybe it’s not only God who is stupid and cruel. Or that maybe God really did make man in his own image.