Ship/Member: hoshi/wonwoo Major Tags: soonyoung-centric, friends (in love) to strangers, angst Additional Tags: non-idols AU, what if snwu gave up the one thing that makes them work (communication), emotional constipation, pining, jeonghan as soonyoung's jiminy cricket Permission to remix: yes!
soonyoung isn't really the pining type but he is someone with /a lot/ of feelings and that's always interesting to explore. :') title from merry bad ending by the boyz.
***
it appears when soonyoung least expects it. at first, it’s an itch more than anything, nothing worth worrying about.
and then it gets worse.
wonwoo’s absence starts growing inside soonyoung animal, eating up pieces of him from time to time and stealing air from his lungs when he’s inside the subway and sees a pair of glasses that look familiar in a face that isn’t the one he wishes to see. as if wonwoo is still a train or bus away and not across the ocean. as if wonwoo wasn’t already out of reach even before boarding that plane months ago.
last month (or was it last week? soonyoung’s perception of time can’t be trusted these days because it all looks the same to him: go to work, dance until his legs refuse to move, go home, sleep, repeat.), jeonghan told soonyoung he thought wonwoo was running, but when asked from what, he couldn’t say; though he looked like he knew. soonyoung didn’t pry but curiosity followed him back home, spoke to him despite his attempts of shutting it down. if wonwoo is the one on the run, why is it soonyoung that can’t seem to catch his own breath?
☾
on some nights, soonyoung can’t sleep. were this a year ago, he would’ve simply called wonwoo and talked to him until his brain finally shut down. were this a year ago, their last exchange on kkt would’ve been a few hours prior. right now it’s been months since the last time the two of them had a proper conversation.
(that’s just just life, isn’t it? nothing big happened, people just grow apart. isn’t it time to get used to these things?)
soonyoung shuffles in bed, warm skin meeting cold sheets. he grabs his phone from under a pillow and unlocks it only to stare at wonwoo’s contact information as if those pixels could offer him a solution to a problem he can't even name.
(“can't or won't?” the imaginary jeonghan living inside soonyoung’s head asks. just like the one in real life, this one sounds kind and sweet. and just like the one in real life, this one can read him like no one else can. “aren't you kind of running away too, soonyoungie?”).
“i miss you,” he says to the small photo of wonwoo on his phone screen. it feels pathetic and soonyoung wishes he could do more -- for himself, for whatever’s left of his friendship with wonwoo, but he’s made more than enough moves for the past few months.
a year ago, soonyoung would’ve known exactly what to make of wonwoo's long silences. he'd break through them, switch places, get wonwoo to talk while he listens. soonyoung has always loved listening to everyone and wonwoo a bit more than the rest. lately he can barely remember what wonwoo sounds like.
“i miss you so much, wonwoo-yah,” he speaks again in a rather pitiful tone and, of course, nothing happens. with a press of his thumb, he locks the screen again and puts the device back under the pillow.
a deep sigh forces its way out of soonyoung’s mouth, carrying with it an exhaustion he didn’t even know he had in him, as if it was hidden somewhere under his radar.
he holds onto it a little and chooses to face melancholy just this once. it doesn’t last, though.
with another long exhale, soonyoung lets it go.
(or maybe he locks it away even further, he’s still trying to learn the difference).
the darkness inside the bedroom embraces soonyoung like an old friend, an additional blanket on top of him.
from his bed, he listens to the sounds of the city outside. ever since he first came to seoul, they feel like music to his ears. right now, it’s a consolation of sorts: the world hasn't stopped and tomorrow is a new day to keep moving forward. it’s enough of a lullaby to get soonyoung to sleep, even if it takes some time.
the next day, wonwoo shows up in the smallest and most unexpected details just as usual.
soonyoung dances his way through them and comes out almost unscathed.
[FILL] can't get caught chasing memories
Major Tags: soonyoung-centric, friends (in love) to strangers, angst
Additional Tags: non-idols AU, what if snwu gave up the one thing that makes them work (communication), emotional constipation, pining, jeonghan as soonyoung's jiminy cricket
Permission to remix: yes!
soonyoung isn't really the pining type but he is someone with /a lot/ of feelings and that's always interesting to explore. :') title from merry bad ending by the boyz.
***
it appears when soonyoung least expects it. at first, it’s an itch more than anything, nothing worth worrying about.
and then it gets worse.
wonwoo’s absence starts growing inside soonyoung animal, eating up pieces of him from time to time and stealing air from his lungs when he’s inside the subway and sees a pair of glasses that look familiar in a face that isn’t the one he wishes to see. as if wonwoo is still a train or bus away and not across the ocean. as if wonwoo wasn’t already out of reach even before boarding that plane months ago.
last month (or was it last week? soonyoung’s perception of time can’t be trusted these days because it all looks the same to him: go to work, dance until his legs refuse to move, go home, sleep, repeat.), jeonghan told soonyoung he thought wonwoo was running, but when asked from what, he couldn’t say; though he looked like he knew. soonyoung didn’t pry but curiosity followed him back home, spoke to him despite his attempts of shutting it down. if wonwoo is the one on the run, why is it soonyoung that can’t seem to catch his own breath?
on some nights, soonyoung can’t sleep. were this a year ago, he would’ve simply called wonwoo and talked to him until his brain finally shut down. were this a year ago, their last exchange on kkt would’ve been a few hours prior. right now it’s been months since the last time the two of them had a proper conversation.
(that’s just just life, isn’t it? nothing big happened, people just grow apart. isn’t it time to get used to these things?)
soonyoung shuffles in bed, warm skin meeting cold sheets. he grabs his phone from under a pillow and unlocks it only to stare at wonwoo’s contact information as if those pixels could offer him a solution to a problem he can't even name.
(“can't or won't?” the imaginary jeonghan living inside soonyoung’s head asks. just like the one in real life, this one sounds kind and sweet. and just like the one in real life, this one can read him like no one else can. “aren't you kind of running away too, soonyoungie?”).
“i miss you,” he says to the small photo of wonwoo on his phone screen. it feels pathetic and soonyoung wishes he could do more -- for himself, for whatever’s left of his friendship with wonwoo, but he’s made more than enough moves for the past few months.
a year ago, soonyoung would’ve known exactly what to make of wonwoo's long silences. he'd break through them, switch places, get wonwoo to talk while he listens. soonyoung has always loved listening to everyone and wonwoo a bit more than the rest. lately he can barely remember what wonwoo sounds like.
“i miss you so much, wonwoo-yah,” he speaks again in a rather pitiful tone and, of course, nothing happens. with a press of his thumb, he locks the screen again and puts the device back under the pillow.
a deep sigh forces its way out of soonyoung’s mouth, carrying with it an exhaustion he didn’t even know he had in him, as if it was hidden somewhere under his radar.
he holds onto it a little and chooses to face melancholy just this once. it doesn’t last, though.
with another long exhale, soonyoung lets it go.
(or maybe he locks it away even further, he’s still trying to learn the difference).
the darkness inside the bedroom embraces soonyoung like an old friend, an additional blanket on top of him.
from his bed, he listens to the sounds of the city outside. ever since he first came to seoul, they feel like music to his ears. right now, it’s a consolation of sorts: the world hasn't stopped and tomorrow is a new day to keep moving forward. it’s enough of a lullaby to get soonyoung to sleep, even if it takes some time.
the next day, wonwoo shows up in the smallest and most unexpected details just as usual.
soonyoung dances his way through them and comes out almost unscathed.