17hols | 2022 Round 1: Quotes

2022 Round 1: Quotes

Status: Closed

This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.

Seventeen Holidays

Round 1: Quotes

About

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

"What is grief, if not love persevering?"

"You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath"

Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. Each prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, and more. Steal from a literary classic, or WeVerse drama. Have fun!

Examples

Minghao + Ocean Vuong

The most beautiful part of your body
is where it's headed. & remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world.

Ocean Vuong - night sky with exit wounds

Hoshi/Anyone; "Beauty is terror"

Thinking about these two quotes together and the idea of on/off-stage personas:

"Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful we tremble before it. And what could be more terrifying or beautiful, to the Greeks to to our own, than to lose control completely?" - Donna Tartt, the Secret Histories

"I am calm in everyday life but when I put on my in-ear device and step on stage, I can feel the tension and hear the cheers getting louder as the music gets louder. When the staff tells me it's time to step on stage, I feel something boil inside me. I feel it steaming inside and I think I have to give a burst of something, spill what is inside me." - Hoshi in Hit the Road Ep. 04

Any ship; "It's been so many years"

Hello, hello there, is this Martha?
This is old Tom Frost
And I am calling long distance
Don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more
Now Martha please recall
Meet me out for coffee
Where we'll talk about it all.

Tom Watts - Martha

Rules

Sign up is not required.
Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too!
There is no maximum cap.
Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest).
NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged
NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview.

How it works

Prompting

Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post;
Change the subject to something interesting;
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want!
Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Do Not Wants: None Prompt: <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote>

Filling

Reply to the original prompt;
Change the subject to [FILL], you may add a title or stay chaotic;
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text.
You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask ***

Remixing

Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
Change the subject to [REMIX].

Art/media

Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.)
Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it!
Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead.
(To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want)

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a>

Note!

On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it.

Navigation

❮ ROUND 1: QUOTES ❯

ROUND 2: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

ROUND 3: LAST WORDS

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

im glad you liked it, so many of you write yjh pov and I've never claimed to understand him so writing his pov is always a hard task, im glad you liked it nonetheless. seokmin was my favourite to write of course lol

i bookmarked this /days/ ago so i could come back and make a comment, but i still don't quite know how to express how incredible this is. i practically held my breath the entire time, and then that last scene is so rich with visceral details--temperature, noise, texture, pressure--it was like coming up for air. so so so good.

Ship/Member: Seokmin/Minghao, Seokmin/Mingyu
Major Tags: Could be read as MCD/Past Character Death if you were so inclined
Additional Tags: Could just be post break up, dreams, faintly creepy, no plot only vibes
Permission to remix: Yes

Teen and Up, 0.9k

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36818569

Ship/Member: Seokmin/Minghao
Major Tags: explicit sexual content
Additional Tags: rule 63, pwp?, handmaiden-ish vibes, fantasising and yearning
Permission to remix: Please ask
Word count: 3169

hi. uh. i don’t really know what this is either. inspo came from the prompt and also this poem. enjoy…

[1/2]

***

Seokmin can see them from across the room. Seungcheol standing next to Minghao, looking at her with a suave smile. Minghao giggling at something he’s said. The pearls - the ones that Seokmin had worn just hours earlier - gleaming at her throat.

That is one of Seokmin’s many jobs: to wear the necklace during the day, to warm the pearls for Minghao so they shine with more lustre at night. Seokmin doesn’t see the point of it, really. Minghao’s laugh is brighter than any pearl, no matter how warm. But she does like feeling the weight of them on her as she goes about her day. It almost feels like it’s Minghao on her, over her, weighing down her neck the way she weighs down her thoughts.

Seokmin thinks about Minghao too much. She knows it’s true. No servant should be thinking about her mistress this much, certainly not like this - not in a way that makes her ache for the pearls to bind her, to tell Minghao that she belongs to her. But how can she help it? When Minghao looks like this - tall and willowy and beautiful, with silky hair and rosebud lips that occasionally bless her with a small smile - how can Seokmin not think about her?

She watches from a distance as Seungcheol makes her laugh again. Her throat closes up at the sight. She wants to tell Seungcheol to move away, that he isn’t the one who has seen Minghao cry over a lost ring, or who has seen her sip some green tea in her nightgown, or whose heat fills the pearls on her skin. But she can’t, of course she can’t. All she can do is watch.

At the end of the night, Minghao smiles as she bids Seungcheol adieu at the front gate. Seokmin knows that there is something between them, that all the other servants hope that Minghao will be married to him soon, so she won’t have to spend all her time alone in this big house. They don’t know what Seokmin knows, though. They don’t know that Seungcheol is no good for her. Seokmin is hardly good for her either, but at least she knows her. At least she can see Minghao for who she is - kind, and thoughtful, and delicate - rather than just as an heiress, rich and pretty and convenient.

The gate shuts, the front door is locked, and Minghao makes her way back up to her chambers. She doesn’t like to have any of the servants undress her at night. Seokmin doesn’t quite understand why. But it does mean that at the end of the night she can go to her own chambers, to think and dream and wonder.

***

Seokmin likes to think that if she were helping Minghao get ready for the night, it would go like this.

She follows Minghao to her room, closing the door gently behind her. She stands awkwardly near the door, watching Minghao sit at her dressing table. Minghao takes the clips and grips out of her hair, loosening it from the tight bun she kept it in that night. Her hair is long and glossy, so it falls over her shoulders, graceful in its bareness. Minghao brushes her hair slowly, taking her time, looking in the mirror with that determined look she gets when she wants something done right. That’s probably why her hair is so beautiful. Seokmin has always thought Minghao has beautiful hair.

Minghao ties it into a loose ponytail. Then she turns to look at Seokmin, light amusement in her voice, asking,

“Aren’t you going to come and help me? Or will you just stand there all night?”

Seokmin makes her way over before her knees could give out. “What do you need help with, my lady?” she’d ask.

“My face. Will you wipe my makeup off for me? I never quite manage to do it right when I try.”

Seokmin nods vigorously, rushing to fetch some damp cloths. Something about Minghao always makes her feel urgent, like she needs to answer to Minghao’s every whim or she’ll be thrown away. She’s back quickly enough, Minghao quirking an eyebrow up when she returns.

“You were very quick. Eager, are you?”

Seokmin gulps. Minghao doesn’t normally talk like that. She can be teasing, but normally she’s full of understanding. This is something else altogether, something that makes Seokmin’s guts coil.

“I’m just doing what will help you, my lady.”

“Well, go on then. Help me.”

Minghao’s eyes close, and Seokmin realises that she has to kneel in front of her to do it properly. So she does. She starts with Minghao’s eyes, wiping off the thin eyeliner and the mascara that makes her eyes look so big. She goes gently - the last thing she wants is to make her uncomfortable. Minghao isn’t uncomfortable, though. She’s relaxed, perfectly still, with Seokmin ensuring the last remnants of the makeup came off.

She uses a different cloth for the rest of her face. She starts with the forehead, gentle as ever, moving her hand up to the side of Minghao’s head to hold her still. Minghao’s breath hitches, almost imperceptibly. Her hair is just as silky as it looks under Seokmin’s hand, and it takes all Seokmin’s self-restraint not to grab it in her fingers.

She moves to Minghao’s cheeks, taking her time over the ridge of her high cheekbones. Minghao sighs in satisfaction as Seokmin drags the cloth over her cheeks, her fingers itching to touch Minghao’s bare skin. Seokmin starts to feel uncomfortable kneeling like this, but she would do anything if it would mean that she could feel Minghao’s light breath on her fingertips.

Finally, she runs a cloth over Minghao’s lips, savouring the plushness of them. The red wipes off, and Seokmin half-wishes that Minghao would paint her red instead. But she has a job to do.

When she's finished, she takes a moment to look at Minghao - skin a little red and raw and her eyes less defined and her lips less prominent, but still gorgeous. Seokmin feels, deep in her chest, how lucky she is. Even Seungcheol hasn't seen Minghao look like this.

“All finished, my lady,” Seokmin says, rising to her feet.

“Thank you, Seokmin-ah,” Minghao replies, voice still sparkling as her eyes open. “Now can you help me with my dress?”

She stands up, tucking the chair in, facing the mirror on the dressing table. She brings her plait over her shoulder, exposing the bare skin on the back of her neck. Seokmin’s throat feels dry.

“The zip is at the back,” Minghao adds, a little quieter, “so I can’t quite reach it myself.”

Seokmin moves over to her, catching sight of the zip at the top of the dress. She tries her hardest not to look at the smooth skin of Minghao’s shoulders, focusing instead on pulling the zip down carefully. The dress is expensive, like everything Minghao owns, so it’s best not to be too rough with it. Seokmin holds the top of the dress to keep it steady as the zip moves further and further down, exposing more of the white corset Minghao is wearing underneath. Somehow, that’s worse than if Minghao’s skin was bare - it gives her more of an excuse to look at Minghao, to keep her fingers close to her body but never quite touching it. Seokmin can’t look, so she glances up for a brief second. She’s startled when she finds Minghao looking at her through the mirror, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. She averts her gaze back down immediately, feeling like she’s been caught.

Finally, the dress is fully unzipped, and Seokmin lets it go, letting it fall off Minghao’s shoulders loosely. Minghao smiles at Seokmin - properly this time, not through the mirror - and moves to the other end of the room to shrug it off completely, laying it out on a table. Seokmin just stares at her back, at the corset clinging to her slim figure, at the gentle curves of her waist.

“There’s one more thing I need your help with, Seokmin,” Minghao calls, moving back towards the mirror. “My necklace. Can you undo it for me?”

Seokmin’s heart jumps to her throat. The pearls that she had worn that morning are strung around Minghao’s neck. Seokmin can still feel the weight of them pulsing on her own skin, a phantom chain. Shaking slightly, she brings her hands up to the back of Minghao’s neck again, looking for the small clasp.

“You wore the pearls so well today,” Minghao says, voice barely a whisper.

“Sorry, my lady?” Seokmin asks, not sure she’s heard right.

“The necklace. You looked beautiful when you warmed it for me. I noticed.”

Seokmin’s fingers feel clammy as she fumbles with the clasp. “They’re more beautiful on you,” she replies, her tone just right for a compliment to her mistress.

“No, no, that’s not what I meant. You are beautiful. The pearls only enhanced it. So beautiful, Seokmin-ah.”

Seokmin finally manages to undo the clasp. She rushes to get the necklace off Minghao and onto the dressing table. Once she puts it down, she moves to walk away, but Minghao grabs her wrist before she can try.

“Seokmin-ah,” she says, voice pitched a little lower. “You want to touch me, don’t you?”

“I-” Seokmin’s tongue is thick in her mouth. “My lady, I-”

“Don’t. I know how you look at me. I want you to touch me too.”

“My lady, I’m sorry- I- I couldn’t-”

“Do you need me to order you to do it? Touch me, Seokmin-ah.”

Minghao brings both of Seokmin’s hands to her waist. Seokmin’s hands relish the softness of the silk corset, even as Seokmin thinks this is a bad idea. She glances at the mirror for a brief second, and once again, Minghao is looking straight at her, almost daring her to stop.

Seokmin doesn’t want to stop.

Minghao turns in Seokmin’s arms, a gleam in her eye. Seokmin can’t help the way she spreads her hands wider, holding as much of Minghao’s waist as possible.

“Are you just going to keep looking at me like that?” she asks, no real bite to her voice.

“What do you want, my lady?”

“Kiss me, Seokmin-ah.”

Tentatively, Seokmin brings a hand to cup Minghao’s cheek, keeping the other splayed on her waist. Minghao leans into it, and Seokmin’s veins spark. She leans in and closes the distance between them. Minghao’s lips are soft, just as plush as they felt under Seokmin’s fingers, and Seokmin wants to commit them to memory.

Minghao pulls away for a brief second.

“Come on, now. I’m not delicate. You can do better than that.”

Seokmin’s pulse roars in her ears. She leans into Minghao again, kissing her a little rougher this time. She slides her tongue into Minghao’s mouth, running it over the backs of all her teeth, and she nips at Minghao’s bottom lip when she pulls away. The way Minghao’s breath hitches is music to her ears. As soon as she catches her breath, Minghao pulls her back in again, moving her hands from Seokmin’s waist up to her shoulder blades.

“You can- you can take your clothes off, if you want,” Minghao says through a sigh.

Seokmin takes it as an order. She strips herself of her dowdy servant’s gown and her undergarments, feeling Minghao’s eyes roam over her body. When was the last time anyone had seen her like this? Seokmin doesn’t remember. It doesn’t even matter. When she moves back to kiss Minghao again, she doesn’t want to think about doing this with anyone else.

Minghao steers her towards the bed, pulling Seokmin on top of her. They break apart for a moment, just watching each other breathe.

“My lady,” Seokmin asks, voice scratchy, “may I take your corset off?”

“Please do,” Minghao replies.

Seokmin shifts so she is close to Minghao’s front, undoing the loops and clasps of her corset with trembling fingers. After so long, she can finally feel the skin she has only dreamt of. Her lady has always been so kind. Minghao herself shuffles around, pulling down her underwear and throwing it off the bed.

After what feels like years, Seokmin manages to undo the corset, sliding it off of Minghao slowly. She looks carefully at where she’s putting it on the floor, not quite ready to look at Minghao yet.

“Seokmin-ah?” Minghao calls when Seokmin has turned away for long enough. “Aren’t you coming back to me?”

Taking a deep breath, Seokmin turns to face Minghao. There’s a small smile on her face, but Seokmin can tell she’s nervous too - she can read it in the stiffness of her limbs, the tension in her shoulders. That won’t do. Minghao can’t enjoy herself if she’s nervous, and Seokmin wants her to enjoy herself.

She moves over to Minghao, heart thrumming as Minghao lies back against the pillows easily, without Seokmin even asking her to. With her knees caging Minghao’s hips, she leans down to kiss her, long and soft, relishing the way Minghao’s pretty mouth opens up for her.

“What do you want, my lady?” Seokmin asks against the line of Minghao’s jaw.

“I- Whatever you want, Seokmin-ah,” Minghao replies, breathless and wanting, head tilted up to let Seokmin reach her neck.

Seokmin presses kisses along her neck, deliberately wet. When she reaches Minghao’s collarbone, she bites down gently, spurred on by Minghao’s gasps. She doesn’t want to leave a mark - that would lead to too many questions - but she does want Minghao to make those sounds for her. She continues mouthing down Minghao’s chest, running the pad of her thumb over her nipple, smiling to herself at Minghao’s high-pitched whine.

She continues kissing her way down Minghao’s stomach, stopping just below her navel.

“My lady,” she says, “can I-”

“Yes, yes, please, Seokmin-ah,” Minghao cuts in, “just make me feel good.”

Seokmin can do that. Whatever pleases her mistress - that’s what’s important.

“Put your knees up, my lady,” she says, trying not to make her voice too commanding.

Minghao does as she’s told, bringing her knees up and keeping her feet flat on the bed. Seokmin kisses and nips at the inside of her thighs, and something in her swells when she sees the way Minghao’s eyes close, her eyebrows furrowing. Distantly, she wonders whether Minghao has done this before - she wonders how many people Minghao has brought to their knees, men or women. Seokmin wants to think she’s the only one, even if she’s wrong. There’s something heady in the thought that she might be the only one to see her lady like this.

She uses her hands to spread Minghao’s legs further apart. Minghao’s already so wet, just from Seokmin kissing her and touching her, and that makes Seokmin feel more capable than she ever knew she could feel. Slowly, she drags her tongue in Minghao’s folds, and the soft moan Minghao lets out is worth at least a hundred pearl necklaces. Seokmin grips Minghao’s thighs tight as she keeps going, moving from Minghao’s clit to her entrance.

[...]

[2/2]

When Minghao’s finally open enough, Seokmin pushes her tongue inside. Minghao’s thighs clench tight around her, and she moans louder than before. Seokmin can’t see her face, but she can imagine it - maybe her eyes are shut tight with her eyebrows knitted together, or maybe her head has tilted all the way back to the ceiling, exposing the delicate skin of her neck. Seokmin keeps going, feeling rewarded when Minghao’s hips rut down against her tongue and she makes gentle noises with each movement.

It doesn’t take long for Minghao to orgasm. She’s so sensitive, so responsive, and Seokmin can tell exactly when she needs to rub Minghao’s clit to get her over the edge. When Minghao finally comes down from the high, Seokmin moves to kneel on the bed, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Seokmin-ah,” Minghao calls, voice airy, “come here.”

Seokmin lies down next to Minghao, not sure what to do. She doesn’t expect Minghao to sling a knee over her thighs, to kiss and bite along Seokmin’s neck.

“W- was that good for you, my lady?” Seokmin just about manages to ask.

Minghao is on top of Seokmin now, pressing kisses all over her face - a little too tender, considering what they’ve just been doing.

“So good, Seokmin-ah,” Minghao answers, “you were so good. You always are, so good for me. Now can I make you feel good?”

Seokmin’s throat feels like sandpaper as she nods. Minghao smiles wryly, before holding down Seokmin’s arms and swirling her tongue around her nipple. Seokmin whimpers in spite of herself, not really able to touch her back. Minghao spends what feels like a century mouthing at her breasts before Seokmin has to say,

“My lady- please, I-”

“It’s alright, Seokmin-ah. I’ll take care of you.”

And she does. She has Seokmin moaning for most of the night, and when she’s done they wrap themselves around each other and fall asleep. In the morning, Seokmin wakes up to the sun peeking through the curtains, and to Minghao smiling at her, tucking a loose strand of her behind her ear.

Seokmin smiles back.

***

Seokmin actually wakes up to the bell that calls the servants to rise every day. The sun has not even begun its labour, but Seokmin wakes up knowing she has to sweep floors and dust mantels. There is nobody for Seokmin to wake up to - nobody except her own shame.

She sees Minghao when she dusts the drawing room. She offered to come back later, when Minghao wasn’t busy, but Minghao said she didn’t mind.

“Are you alright?” Minghao asks, out of nowhere. “You seem a little distracted today.”

“I’m sorry, my lady, I- well, I’m afraid I didn’t sleep too well last night,” Seokmin replies.

Minghao doesn’t have to know that Seokmin was thinking of her.

“I’m sorry to hear that. I hope tonight is better for you,” Minghao responds sympathetically.

Seokmin has never known a lady like Minghao to be so nice to her servants, to be so genuinely caring for them. Her lady has always been so kind.

“By the way,” Minghao says, “Seungcheol-ssi is coming over.”

Again? Seokmin wants to ask. She holds her tongue, even as it chokes her throat.

“He’ll be coming in the evening,” Minghao continues, “so can you warm the pearls for me again today? You did it so well yesterday.”

Seokmin tries to ignore the heat rising to her cheeks at Minghao’s words, at the thought of Minghao’s pearls around her neck again - and yet she can’t quite help it. Something burns in Seokmin’s core at the thought of everyone in the house knowing she is Minghao’s, that Minghao has her wrapped around her little finger like the pearls wrapped around her throat.

Seokmin gives Minghao a small smile. “As you wish, my lady.”

Ship/Member: Seokmin/Mingyu
Major Tags: slight violence
Additional Tags: while you were busy being heterosexual i studied the blade, very loose scifi elements, seokgyuisms, enemies to training partners to lovers
Permission to remix: Please ask!

wc: 8.7k

posted on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36844402

hope you enjoy!!

LILLI. oh no i just remembered that dw notifications were a thing OH NO !! but omg that's so. so good. the movie kiss....... ah..... thank you for the snwu i am DELIGHTED and WORMY (extremely positive)

Ship/Member: Mingyu/Minghao
Major Tags: Epistolary, Long Distance Relationship, Multiverse, Alternate Universe(s), Magical Realism, Dreams/Dreaming
Additional Tags: junhui cameo!, vernon cameo!, jungkook cameo!, there’s some miscommunication that’s kinda stressful (but it gets worked out, i promise!), one mention of drinking alcohol and getting drunk
Permission to remix: Yes!

***

“How beautiful you must be
to have been able to lead me
this far with only
the sound of your going away.”

--W.S. Merwin

***

viv and i were talking about their fill for this prompt, and then this happened! As viv mentioned in their tags, the childhood media i thought about first for this concept was griffin & sabine, an epistolary novel that i read for the first time when i was about ten and have thought about often ever since; this fic is loosely based on that. it also has some your name vibes in it, too! See also: the subtle knife and the amber spyglass by phillip pullman; the exchange between sam and suzy from moonrise kingdom (“Dear Suzy, When?,” “Dear Sam, Where?,” etc., etc.). i thought a lot about the song “somewhere only we know” by keane, for both viv’s fill and this remix, so that’s the title! See also: “invisible string” by taylor swift, and “hiding tonight” by alex turner (“I’ll know the way back, if you know the way”).

i will update with the second part when i am done editing it, i am so sorry, it will be completed i promise!! also it exceeds the character limit so i have to post in multiple parts RIP. thanks for reading!

***

October 1, 2017
Dear Mr. Xu,

You don’t know me, let me introduce myself! My name is Kim Mingyu. I’m 20 years old, and I live in New York City. It’s nice to meet you! I hope we can stay in touch for a long time!

Sincerely,
Mingyu Kim
63 St. Joseph’s Pl., Apt. 5A
New York, NY 10003, USA

***

14 October
Dear Mr. Kim,

You’re right—I don’t think I know you, but your name sounds vaguely familiar…How did you get my address?

Sincerely,
Xu Minghao
Bldg. 102 Unit 14
Dongil-ro-gil 19
Hwayang-dong, Gwangjin-gu, Seoul 04900
South Korea

***

November 2, 2017
Dear Mr. Xu,

I’m sorry, I should have mentioned this in my first letter, but I found your address because I bought a set of old postcards from a thrift shop a couple weeks ago just for fun, and one of the postcards was one you had sent! It was to someone named “Junhui.” It was postmarked June 27, 2004, and you wrote about visiting Los Angeles on a family trip. You even included a stick figure drawing of yourself and your family in the bottom right hand corner! You must have been young, all you could talk about was the strawberry ice cream bar you had for dessert, and how they don’t have that in Korea.

What else do you remember about the trip? What did you think of the U.S.? Have you ever been back to L.A. since then? I went for the first time last summer and I thought it was really fun! Tell me more about yourself! I’m sorry about all the questions! I’ve never had a penpal before, but I think I would really like one…but no pressure if this is weirding you out! You don’t even have to reply if this is too creepy for you!

Sincerely,
Kim Mingyu

P.S. I like that you included your dog in the stick figure drawing, even though she couldn’t come with you on the trip ^__^
P.P.S. Your name sounded familiar too, but I really don’t think we have ever met!

***

21 November
Dear Mr. Kim,

It’s not creepy, but it is a little weird that you found that postcard. Junhui and I were childhood best friends, but we haven’t talked in a while!

I don’t remember very much from the L.A. trip, even though I was ten or eleven years old when we went. The people were so friendly! I remember waiting for the elevator in the hotel lobby with my family, and a man standing with us started talking to my dad about the weather. My dad was so shocked! Talking to strangers isn’t really a thing in Korea, so we were surprised by how chatty Americans are!

Ah, I never really know what to say when people ask me about myself…I’m also 20 years old, I’m a fashion design student, I work part-time at a clothing store. It’s my senior year, so I’m spending a lot of time in the studio on campus working on my final project.

How about you? What do you do?

Sincerely,
Xu Minghao
[Since I’m working on my final project, I might not be able to send you a reply for some time.]

***

December 13, 2017
Dear Minghao (is it okay if I call you that? It feels weird calling you “Mr.” since we’re the same age…),

Tell me more about your final project! I’m actually a photography major, but I don’t know anything about fashion, I mostly shoot landscapes. My friend Vernon is a stylist though, I usually just wear whatever he gives me.

Also, don’t worry about getting back to me right away! I told you, it’s just fun to have a penpal, so you really don’t have to worry!

Sincerely,

Mingyu

***

27 December
Dear Mingyu (it feels so much better to call you that),

My final project is a capsule collection, which is a shortened version of a full fashion collection. It’s meant to be a preview of what I would make if I was a full-fledged designer. All the fashion design students make one, and then we have a show at the end of the year and we invite a bunch of people in the fashion world to view it. I included a couple pictures of designs that I’ve been working on. I’ve been really obsessed with the ocean, can you tell?

Sincerely,
Minghao

***

January 15, 2018

Minghao, this is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen! I didn’t even know fabric could do that! I showed your designs to my friend Vernon (I hope you don’t mind), and he said you’re really good at draping.

Since you showed me your work, I included a few pictures I took while I was in California last summer! I tried to take pictures of the sunset because it was so pretty that day, but I don’t think it came out anywhere close to what it was like in real life.

Sincerely,
Mingyu

P.S. I like how you made the skirt in outfit #2, it looks like one big wave.
P.P.S. Thank you for sharing your work with me (a complete stranger)

***

13 February
Dear Mingyu,

Exactly!! The skirt is supposed to be like an ocean wave! You’re the first person to catch that!

I really like the picture you took of the jetty, it looks like the ocean is about to swallow the sun. I think you should give yourself more credit, I felt like I could feel the sun’s warmth through the photo. Is that weird?

Also—is that a picture of the front of the L.A. art museum? I think I’ve been there, I remember running around with other kids through those lamps!

Sincerely,
Minghao
[You’re not a complete stranger to me, I think it’s nice to talk to you.]

***

February 29, 2018
Dear Minghao,

That’s not weird! That’s why they call it the golden hour, right? It’s the perfect time to take photographs.

You’re right, it’s the front of LACMA (L.A. County Museum of Art)! I thought it looked really cool at night with all the lamps lit up.

Minghao, maybe this is too much, but what do you look like? I’ve been trying to picture what you look like, but I really can’t. ~~Maybe you could Would you feel comfortable~~ Could you send a picture of yourself? I want to be able to put a face to your name.

Sincerely,
Mingyu

P.S. You really don’t have to send a photo if that makes you uncomfortable! Ah!! You can forget I said anything!

***

March 24, 2018
Dear Minghao,

I haven’t heard from you in a while. Did I blow it? I’m so sorry!! I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable! If I have, I really am so sorry.

Best wishes,
Mingyu

***

21 April
Dear Mingyu,

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. Life got really busy and so much has happened! I graduated, I got an apprenticeship, and I moved apartments!

The spring was really stressful because we had the showcase for our capsule collections, and a lot of important people were there and I was so anxious that I think I gave a really bad first impression to some fashion editors. And then I went through a slump—some of my classmates got offers from department stores to buy their capsules, but no one bought mine. I know that it doesn’t really make sense to compare myself to them, all of our work is so different, and I was happy to see them have such a strong start, but I wanted that for myself too. Is that selfish?

By chance, one of my friends sent my sketches to a designer named Woo Youngmi, and she hired me! I’m starting out small—she has me sewing mockups and helping with fittings—but even watching her process is motivating me to work harder. I usually get up early to sew before going to work, even though the neighbors probably don’t appreciate the sound of my sewing machine at dawn.

You had asked me for a picture of myself, and I think that’s alright, as long as you send one back! The photo I sent is of me taken on the rooftop of my new apartment building. Sometimes, I go up there after work to watch the sun set. What do you think? It’s a beautiful view, right? I wish you could see it in person.

Yours,
Minghao
Bldg. 38 Unit 35
Sangdong-ro 12
Wonmi-gu, Bucheon, Gyeonggi-do 14543
South Korea

[Please don’t apologize for sending me letters. I can’t always respond right away, and the mail service can be slow these days, but I find myself looking forward to seeing your handwriting in my mail pile.]

***

May 20, 2018
Dear Minghao,

I saw your handwriting in the mail and had to sit down and write to you right away!

First, congratulations on graduating! Even though I only saw a few of your designs, I really, really liked your vision, and I am so excited for you to start this new journey! I know how you feel. I graduated too, and now I’m working freelance and have steady gigs, but I didn’t have many clients when I had just graduated. I hated feeling so energized and inspired at a shoot, but not knowing when I would hit that high again. I don’t think you’re selfish, it doesn’t make sense for you to compare yourselves to others. You are yourself, and your work has its own feel, and I think it’s better to wait for the right people to come around and recognize that.

Second, I’ve included a picture of myself! Vernon took it when we went bike riding in the park one day.

Lastly, thank you for the photo, but did you include the wrong one by accident? I see the view, but I don’t see you!

Yours,
Mingyu

P.S. It really is a beautiful view! I would love to see it in person.

***

1 June
Dear Mingyu,

That’s odd—I definitely sent you the right photo. I actually sent you the only copy of that photo, I threw the negatives out by accident when I was getting rid of moving boxes, but I know I didn’t have any photos of just the view by itself…

What’s weird is that your photo doesn’t have you in it either! It looks like a lovely picnic on a sunny day, but there’s no one there! Is it possible you sent the wrong picture?

Yours,
Minghao

***

June 19, 2018
Minghao,

That’s so strange. I looked at the negative of the photo I sent you, and it is definitely the one with me in it. Are you positive you have the right one? There should be a green bike leaning against a tree in the right side of the picture. And I’m sitting in the center of the picnic blanket! You can’t miss me!!

Yours,
Mingyu

***

2 July
Dear Mingyu,

Hmm, the photo you sent matches your description…to be fair, most of the picture is underexposed so it’s really hard to make anything out, maybe your face is in shadow? In any case, I put it on the pinboard above my sewing machine at home, and I find myself looking at it whenever I find a lull in my work.

Mingyu—I have exciting news!! I was invited by Youngmi daepyo-nim to accompany her in Europe this summer! We’re sourcing fabrics for future collections and meeting with manufacturers, distributors, and other designers. By the time you get this, I’ll be on a plane to Vienna!

The trip will last the whole summer; after Vienna we’ll go to Berlin, then Amsterdam, and then we’ll go to New York for Fashion Week. It’s actually the longest time I’ll be away from home. I’m looking forward to it, of course, but to be honest, I’m also very nervous. Mingyu—do you ever feel nervous about things like this? This is something I’ve been looking forward to for a long time, but I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to jinx it or anything. And now it’s happening and all my things are packed and I’m ready to go, but I don’t think it’s hit me yet.

Maybe I’ll feel truly excited when I arrive…but for now?...I guess I’m worried that I’ll ruin something, or that someone else in my position might do better than me, or be more deserving of this. I guess it just feels like I’m holding something great in my hands and I don’t know what to do with it?

I’m sorry for this rambling letter, but I think it will make up for whatever else I’ll manage to write to you this summer! Which is to say—I’ll write to you when I can, so expect some postcards from faraway places!

Yours,
Minghao
[Forward your letter to my flat in Berlin, please! I would love nothing more than to have a letter from you waiting for me when I arrive.]

Minghao Xu
Niederbarnimstr. 4

10247 Berlin
Germany

***

July 18, 2018
Dear Minghao,

I hope you arrived in Berlin safely! I am so excited for you, and I think you’ll have a great time no matter what. And I want you to know that you, you are deserving of this. We haven’t been writing to each other for very long but I know you work hard at everything you do, and I think you should consider this a celebration of that work!

I have the picture of your view saved too! I have a “wall of inspiration” in my bedroom where I hang pictures from photoshoots I like. Your picture is taped next to a Steven Meisel photoshoot from the '90’s that is set at a swimming pool. I see it every morning when I get ready for the day.

I’m actually traveling for work this summer too, I’ll be in L.A. all of August and September. I got hired to shoot an ad campaign for cars (can’t say for which company, it’s a secret ;) ), and I also have a bunch of personal stuff I want to shoot while I’m there. Write to me at this L.A. address!

Yours,

Mingyu
384 Kenilworth Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90039

***

2 August
Mingyu,

I’m trying to write this quickly—I’m at a dinner party and it’s almost midnight and I’m a little tipsy.
I’m writing to say that I miss you. I think I can say that now, to you, in a letter. Youngmi daepyo-nim and I have been going to art museums a lot as part of the research for future collections, and I go home in the evening and my brain feels stuffed full of so many ideas for my own designs. I’m just drunk enough now that I don’t think I’ll feel embarrassed about this until tomorrow morning, but I still think about what you said about my senior project—how it looked like an ocean wave. And I think about how cool it would be if we created something together. If I styled a photoshoot for you? Something like that…maybe one day.

I have to go now, my friend is pounding on the door and accusing me of being antisocial! I guess I just wanted to say that I wish you were here.

Yours truly,
Minghao

(author note: shhh pretend there are no cellphones in this universe)

***

August 18, 2018
Minghao,

I hope you had fun at the dinner party, and I hope the hangover the next day wasn’t too bad. I have to say, your handwriting is pretty neat even when you’re drunk.

Minghao, maybe this is crazy, but would you like to maybe meet in person? What are you doing after New York Fashion Week?

Yours,
Mingyu
P.S. I recommend chicken noodle soup and two Advil for hangovers!
P.P.S. I miss you too, especially when I come home to my apartment late at night. My thoughts feel especially loud when the world is quiet.

***

3 September
Dear Mingyu,

I have no plans. Youngmi daepyo-nim is going to London Fashion Week soon, I can meet you in L.A. at the end of this month?

Yours truly,
Minghao

***

September 10, 2018
Dear Minghao,

Yes! God yes. I’ll be here! My hand is shaking writing this. Where should we meet? How about the lamps in front of LACMA? For old time’s sake? Is that too cliché?

Yours,
Mingyu

***

19 September
Dear Mingyu,

Yes, I can meet you at the lamps at LACMA! Let’s meet at 7pm on Saturday 28 September. I will be wearing a blue button-down shirt with a wave printed on it.

My hands are shaking too. I’ve been thinking of you more and more. I go to sleep imagining us standing in front of each other face-to-face. I wake up wondering how closely my guess of you matches how you look in real life.

I can’t wait to see you.

Yours,
Minghao

***

September 28, 2018
Dearest Minghao,

I’m writing this before I leave, so I have to be quick. I am sending this to your Seoul apartment, so you won’t get it for a long time and we will have met by then anyway, but I think that sometimes things are safer on paper than anywhere else.

I am so eager to meet you. I have treasured our correspondence, but I’m also impatient. Sometimes when I’m out photographing, I imagine you coming with me. Not even as a stylist (though I have thought about that too), you are simply there keeping me company as I work. Or other times, I encounter something so beautiful—a bird, a skyline, the sound of laughter—that I have the urge to tell you about it right there, in the moment, before it fades.

I’ll see you so, so soon! Yours,
Mingyu

***

September 29, 2018
Minghao,

I waited for as long as I could. At 8, the security guard asked me to leave, but I managed to find parking across the street so I waited in my car for a while longer. Maybe you forgot? I don’t know how else to get in touch with you other than writing letters. I hope you’re safe and everything is ok. I’m going to go back tomorrow night in case you got the dates mixed up.

Yours,
Mingyu

***

September 30, 2018
Minghao,

You didn’t come tonight either. Maybe you got cold feet? Or maybe you really did forget? Whatever the reason, it’s alright, as long as you’re safe! I’m leaving for New York tomorrow. If you're able to write, please send it to my New York apartment! Or if you’d rather not write, that’s ok too.

Travel safely! All the best,
Mingyu

***

28 September
Dear Mingyu,

I waited for you all evening, but I didn’t see you. I got there a little before 7, so I found a spot on the wall to the left of the lamps and watched the passersby for a while, but I started to worry that maybe you got caught up in something and forgot. I hailed a taxi and gave the driver the address for your place here in L.A., but we couldn’t even find the street on a map. I had him drive me to Silver Lake anyway, and we drove around the neighborhood and looked and looked but there is no “Kenilworth Ave.” anywhere in L.A.

I don’t understand what’s happening, and if you’re doing all of this just to fuck with me, please stop.

Minghao

***

11 October
Dear Mingyu,

I’m back in Seoul now and I just read your letters. This whole thing is extremely weird, and I don’t even know where to begin. I think I just need time to process what is happening. Don’t worry, I’m safe, and I’m glad you’re safe too. I’ll write to you again, just please, wait a bit longer if you can bear it? if you can, just until I feel like I have stuff figured out.

With love,
Minghao
[Thank you for waiting.]

Ship/Member: MinWon
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: post-disbandment, idolverse, photographer wonwoo, model mingyu (majorly inspired by first look) meditation on change, loss of a friendship and tentatively re-bridging that gap, realizing how someone has grown into the person you'd expected them to be all along and finding you still love them anyway
Permission to remix: Yes
a/n: hello op! i've returned with something else for u! it's loose around the prompt but i tried playing with ideas of what's changed and what hasn't. i'm not so sure about this one or whether or not it's what you were looking for but i hope you enjoy anyway!
***

When Mingyu first walks in, orbited by stylists and makeup artists and additional staff, Wonwoo’s first thought is, oh how he’s changed.

Sharper angles, clearer-cut around the edges than any era of Mingyu he’s seen. A certain poise to his stance, a confidence to his gait that Wonwoo watched Mingyu meticulously curate. It’s become so natural for him.

Wonwoo watches as Mingyu shrugs off his coat and strides toward the set, face ticking up in brightness as he meets Wonwoo’s eyes. The ocean-wide smile that shifts his facial muscles like tectonic plates is one as familiar to Wonwoo as the imprint of a ring he no longer wears on his pinky finger. This hasn’t changed at all.

“Wonwoo-hyung,” Mingyu grins, voice canyon-deep and full of memory. Wonwoo feels himself smile almost like he can’t help it, like he’s been classically conditioned to mirror the amount of radiance Mingyu greets him with. That hasn’t changed either.

There’s a strange confidence and emotional certainty that emanates from Mingyu now; Wonwoo isn’t used to it. What happened to the kid who gripped his shoulders in the shadowed corner of a green basement and whispered his insecurities so brokenly that Wonwoo had felt a twin ache in his chest? That kid is no longer here, probably shed and left behind at that old building. This Mingyu he sees is different, but not at all surprising. Somewhere deep down Wonwoo has always known Mingyu would grow into this shape of him. It leaves him feeling bittersweet all the same.

“Mingyu-yah,” he acknowledges, tamping down the urge to get up and slide his arms around Mingyu’s waist. He almost can’t quite believe he’s seeing Mingyu in the flesh again after five years of bare-bones contact and conversations borderline straining and awkward.

The most visceral cost of separation, to Wonwoo, is the fraying of unspoken understanding. He no longer can determine whether Mingyu will allow him the privilege of his embrace. He can no longer surmise that that’s a boundary he’s allowed to cross without voicing a question for permission.

Wonwoo stays seated, hands in his lap, because remaining at arm’s length feels safer.
“Go change,” Wonwoo prompts gently, inclining his head to the changerooms and the staff hovering around the area, arms loaded with clothing and make-up and additional touch-up materials. Mingyu’s face falls. Wonwoo looks away.

How do you tell someone that they, alone, have grown and filled out into the exact frame you envisioned five years ago? How do you tell them that you bitterly wish that you were there to witness it?

You don’t. You watch them change and don your dreams and you love them all the same. More.

Mingyu walks away. Wonwoo fiddles with the exposure settings on the camera, increasing shutter speed, to lessen the amount of light let in. Mingyu has always glowed more than enough for his own good.

Mingyu returns a second later, assumes his spot naturally in front of the paneled background made to resemble a modern home. A staff member fixes his hair carefully. Wonwoo sits down, looking everywhere but Mingyu. And in his head he convinces himself that it’s a self-protective reflex. Looking at Mingyu is like looking head-on at the sun: too much will result in damage, in more ways than one. It’s better for his personal health to keep it in the periphery. He raises the camera in front of his face like it’ll protect him.

But in reality, he’s just not ready to confront the fact that Mingyu is here and an exact reflection of everything Wonwoo calls home, despite the years that have accumulated between them. And Wonwoo had thought he’d let go of Mingyu already, that he’d taught himself how to move on as an individual and not a part of a team that had become his family. But there are always some things one simply cannot unlearn; amongst them, loving Mingyu.

And then, like clockwork, Wonwoo finds his eyes gravitating back to Mingyu’s face against his will. Old habits die hard, he supposes.

There’s a new fluidity to the way Mingyu changes poses now, movements like water, a river of experience absorbed into his veins. Wonwoo watches with fascination. He hasn’t been this engaged in a shoot in a long time.

They finish quickly. Wonwoo found his angles faster than he’d ever done since first taking flight tentatively as an idol-turned-photographer. He revolved around Mingyu, and with the way Mingyu positioned himself Wonwoo knew exactly where he should be. It was exhilarating to hum on the same energy level as someone again.

Wonwoo felt like the moon, locked in synchronous rotation with the home planet. He couldn’t have turned away if he tried.

Despite his newly crafted smoothness and the expertise that seems worn into his skin, Mingyu still gets flustered when the staff calls out in appreciation. Mingyu is still so humble when praise flows his way and works his cheeks into a lovely smile and raspberry blush. Mingyu is still beautiful. Mingyu still looks at Wonwoo like he’s the sun and it’s not completely the other way around.

Oh how he hasn’t changed, Wonwoo thinks. He hasn’t changed in all the ways that matter.

What has changed is the newfound hesitance in the way Mingyu approaches him now, hovering, like he’s undecided, like he’s unsure if he’ll be let back into Wonwoo’s vicinity. And it hurts more than he’d like to admit, with the knowledge that five years ago, this chasm never existed between them.

“Hyung,” Mingyu begins, fragile hope in his voice, “come to a cafe with me? Just for the sake of old times?”

Before today Wonwoo might have said no. It doesn’t seem a path worth revisiting if all he gets out of it each time is a longing of return so potent that it cleaves his chest in two. But today, he can’t find it in himself to refuse.

“Okay,” he says, voice small. When he looks up again, Mingyu is beaming like he wants to out-compete the sun.

Wonwoo doesn’t look away this time.

Ship/Member: Vernon/Seokmin/Minghao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: twisted little lee seokmin, manipulation, vaguely supernatural and dark, vernon is definitely not human but what about seokmin hmm
Permission to remix:Yes

A/N: karina i love your fill and its atmosphere and the whole vibe so so much but the idea of there being a third witness, orchestrator what you will to this has been plaguing me for a weeks and i wrote this in a sudden fit in like 20 minutes so its gonna be super vague and seokmin-centric, i hope you find it okay nonetheless!! ily!!
-natalie diaz title because klav prompt
-going for 5/5 remixes as well as rarest pair (no works in the tag)

***

It’s not a coincidence the first time Seokmin meets Hansol, nor the second. It is played to perfection so no one knows any better but it isn’t.

Hansol believes he’s rough around edges, says ‘I stick out like a sore thumb’ more times than Seokmin can remember and Seokmin knows already, by the third time they both pretend to sip at their coffee, that he’s never going to find anyone more perfect, more malleable for what he needs.

See, Seokmin knows what makes a monster useful and it isn’t the fangs he wields so poorly he’s leaving a trail of carcasses behind him wherever he goes—that’s what makes him so terribly easy to trace that first time, after all. The fangs you can fake. It’s the torment Seokmin thrives on.

When Hansol hates the very fact of his own existence, rues the day he was found, hungry and more hungry and then again and again until he’d grown himself something sharper than his blood and thicker than his skin—when Hansol cries for the third time in a week, the flesh behind him still warm under the moonlight, who else but Seokmin will hold him in his arms and whisper promises of hope and sunlight, who else will kiss his already healing wounds, but with bite, as if to say a monster can be a beautiful thing to be.

For every time Hansol has broken himself, Seokmin rebuilds him and when Seokmin finally pushes past the parting of his lips to sink in, it is Hansol who is surprised to find that Seokmin isn’t only the parts of him bared open in the daylight.

It takes months and then some for Seokmin to plant Hansol where he wants him, an awkward misfit at an arts college where everyone is an awkward misfit and Hansol has Seokmin’s Minghao reeled in hook, line and sinker in no time—no one knows the ways of humans like Seokmin does and Seokmin knew the minute he first saw Minghao and willed a future into being that he wouldn’t be able to leave well enough alone.

There is no impatience when Minghao starts following Hansol, not even Hansol falters in his role. The night Hansol reveals himself Minghao is wrapped up in an indigo shawl but there's only a flimsy shirt underneath it, the lines of his neck and his forearms bare to all creatures who dare to pass.

“What’re you thinking about?” says Hansol but Seokmin is the one who holds his breath.

The distance between the two of them reduces slowly but surely until there can be no mistake about what Xu Minghao is being permitted to see and only when they’re a mere hairsbreadth apart does Seokmin step out of the shadows.

Minghao will never know who finally pierced through his bubble and dragged sin from underneath his skin, a press of dark sharpness to his veins that unspooled every single melody sitting in a tangle of tape at his core. Minghao will never know what touched him: the teeth that everyone saw, the ones he knew he had seen correctly or something else altogether.

But it doesn’t matter now, does it?

Minghao’s been starved of touch just as long as Hansol’s been alone and Seokmin?

Seokmin always gets what he wants.

IM FUCKING SCREAMING HOLD ON every bit of this was delicious and eerie and oh so much more perfect than i could have imagined. i smooch your brain with so much delight T____T u astound me so much and bring me such delight. it is ur birthday but i feel like i got the biggest gift ever

FIRST OFF SEOKMIN MINGHAO VERNON IS AMAZING i want more it is criminal i have never put two n two together but also fitting that u were the first (again, genius) to do so

SECOND: “ The fangs you can fake. It’s the torment Seokmin thrives on.” SCREEECHING. all thru out this piece u get this feel for seokmin as someone who is kind but keeps ulterior motives and is sharp beneath all of it, how kindness can be cruel and mean and vicious if used in the right way & it just tickled my brain so well #LETDKBEEVIL!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!

EVIL SEOKMIN...... my beloved. thank you for this. very eerie and atmospheric and sick and twisted and crazy!!!! and also..... SEOKVERHAO MY BELOVEDS!!!!! i believe we are the two (2) seokverhaoists and i am honoured to share the title with you. mwah perfect

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. EVIL SEOKVERHAO. TEETH. This is positively bone-chilling... the idea that Seokmin knows what makes a monster useful and what he chooses to use Hansol for is trapping Minghao right where he wants him... the silent puppeteer who always gets what he wants. shivers!! thank you for this!!

YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. youuuuuuuuuu. sorry for being ridiculously late to this but i only just found out about gerri/roman and here i am. and like. whaaaaaat the fuck!!!! you've got it perfectly. GYUHAN?!!? absolutely incredible. and the dialogue feels ripped from the show, it's so so great. BUT! what i love the absolute most is how you fill in the gaps from the show, how you show what jeonghan is thinking. this has messed me up sooooo much actually you're a genius

can u explain the seungcheol apologizing part, i need assurance that im thinking what ur thinking

Ship/Member: Seungcheol/Jeonghan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse, second person pov.
Permission to remix: Yes

***

you are in the car with jeonghan humming some familiar tune on your way to your dorm. he’s on his phone texting someone, probably his mom or sister because he has this look on his face—affectionate and warm and so full of love. you wonder if that’s how jeonghan looks while texting you. you can’t help but stare at him a little bit longer than you mean to.

of course, he catches your gaze. he is always aware of you.

your face says it all, he’d say sometimes. you wish he'd tell you what he sees.

eight years of knowing each other, you still have moments like this. where he looks at you like he isn’t used to your staring and you, not knowing how to save yourself. at times like this, you always feel like you should say something but you never know the words. so you’d end up silent and he’d not meet your eyes until it's over.

jeonghan ducks his head down, clearing his throat, his little song forgotten. “what are you gonna have for dinner?”

it means eat with me. you think for a moment. “i don’t know,” you tell him.

jeonghan pockets his phone and leans back, closing his eyes. “how about seolleongtang?”

“sounds good,” you say and you look out of the window. you never say no to jeonghan.

—

the food already arrives when you go to the eighth floor after washing up. he tells you seungkwan is out to eat with a friend. jihoon is at the studio because there are only a few days before the comeback and soonyoung must have tagged along. it’s just you and jeonghan.

you exchange his banana milk carton with the strawberry milk you fetched for him from your refrigerator because you know he likes it better. you let yourself revel a little in the way his eyes light up at that.

you start talking about how you should be cutting your hair. he jokingly tells you not to.

“leave your hair this way and bleach it so we’d match,” he says. you know he’s just saying whatever but you take that to your heart.

you always do.

—

it’s a day before the comeback and you are glad that you won over wonwoo at rock paper scissors, free from the cleaning duty. before you think of going home, jeonghan is at your side muttering about wanting to take a stroll.

it’s 3 am and you know you won’t sleep even if you get into bed. “i’ll go with you.”

the first time jeonghan took you to the park where he found rabbits was some two years ago. you tried to catch a bunny but they were quick on their feet. jeonghan laughed at you.

now two years later, you watch jeonghan caressing a bunny on his lap in awe.

“how do you do that?”

jeonghan grins. “i come here often. i made a few friends.”

you crouch beside him to watch another one approach jeonghan with ease. “do they have names?” you ask as you try to pet it but it shies away.

“i named them. this,” he points to the one he’s holding, “is choi seungcheol. and this is coups.” as if it knows jeonghan is calling him, the one that hopped away from your touch, hides behind jeonghan, making him giggle. he points somewhere to your behind. “that one is just seungcheol. he’s not coming to me because you are blocking his way.”

you give him a look. he smiles at you in a way you can’t tell if he’s playing or if he really named them after you. “then who am i?”

he looks at you, biting his lower lip, suppressing a smile. “you are ddaddu.”

it’s jeonghan and he just says anything that comes to his mind so you don’t think about it twice. “so i am ddaddu, huh?”

he averts his eyes to the bunny he’s holding and coos at it and makes sure you pet at least one of them before you leave.

—

they ask you what kind of love you want in the future; you say you don’t want the boiling love. or the love that runs cold. then you think of jeonghan.

you think of a time when you were nineteen and told jeonghan you’d never let him fail and the way he looked back at you, holding onto your words. you think of a time when you were twenty and found jeonghan wearing your ring because you forgot it the previous night in his bed where he kissed you for the first time.

you have always been scared of losing things life has been kind enough to give you and that includes him. you realized that when you saw how bad your hands trembled after reading the text from jeonghan. coups-ya, i am sorry, i can’t do this anymore.

“a warm love,” you tell them, “i want a love that keeps on going like that.”

—

jeonghan gives everyone pet names. hoshingie, wonungie. you think that’s how ddaddu becomes a thing too. jeonghan begins to call you that a lot. he tells the fans about it. he calls you ddaddu during the broadcasts. you don’t think about it much at first.

but then your manager hands you a package and a letter on your birthday. it’s from jeonghan and he hasn’t written anything but ddaddu-ya, happy birthday, you have worked hard. here have my sign. and his sign.

that’s enough to make you smile. you have known him for eight years and he’s still shy and it makes you all warm inside.

then it hits you. that’s how ddaddu sounds when jeonghan calls you.

warm and endeared. full of love.

—

“i am getting used to it, you know?” you tell him when it’s just you two in the practice room. seungkwan is out to get coffee and others haven’t arrived yet. you are lying on the floor while he stands beside you, on his phone.

“of what?”

“your pet name,” you say, smiling. “i am starting to notice when you don’t call me that.”

he pockets his phone and looks at you, studying. to see if you are accusing him. “you said that’s your favorite pet name.”

you nod. “it is. i like it. it sounds like warm. i love how only you call me that.” you place a confession there, hoping he notices.

you can’t tell whether he does because you only see what jeonghan lets you. but you hope with your tongue between your teeth, waiting for his next words.

but the door opens and the moment is gone. whatever jeonghan could have said will remain unsaid.

you decide you don’t need to hear them because when jeonghan looks again at you, his eyes are soft. the room gets noisy in a blink but where you are lying, it is still quiet, as if it's just you and him in your world. jeonghan reaches his hand for you. “alright, ddaddu-ya, get up.”

you take his hand and he pulls you up on your feet. someone calls his name and he looks away from you but you feel his little finger hooking around yours.

there, you have always had it. your warm love.

DDADDU SOUNDS LIKE WARM..... T______T this is such a nice coups portrayal its blinding and overwhelming how deep his love is. so sweet... thank you for this

“I didn’t meet him, I recognized him.”

“In the cracks of light I dreamed of you, it was real enough to get me through”

***

13 November
Dear Mingyu,

I’ve done some thinking, but I still can’t understand why this happened to us. I believe you; I don’t think you would do something as cruel as stand me up, and I’m sorry for doubting you before. I have reread your letters over and over, replayed the day we were set to meet again and again in my head, and nothing about the day or the circumstances of our experiences seem to be out of the ordinary, no matter if I glance at it or run through it with a fine-tooth comb.

When I think about the time I was setting out for California, I wish I could send a message to my past self, but I’m not even sure what I would tell him. And in truth, I don’t know if I would do things differently given the opportunity. My impression of you has not changed, and I hope I have not changed for you either.

I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point. Should we try to meet each other again? The thought of coming to meet you and missing you again…I don’t know if I can endure it…

Yours,
Minghao

***

December 17, 2018
Dear Minghao,

I am beyond relieved to hear from you again. I’ve missed your letters—the one true, constant link between us.

Maybe I read too much science fiction as a kid, but could it be possible that we are living in parallel universes? Do you think that could be possible? I haven’t spoken of you to anyone, are you a figment of my imagination? Even if you are, I think I am in too deep to stop now…

For now, I guess we go on with the way things are. Even writing that doesn’t feel right. I want to see you, I want to be able to reach out and touch you and prove that you are real. These days, when it gets dark early, I feel more lonely. Does that happen to you? I mean, I have my friends and my job and I like where I live, but sometimes I feel like none of it will last.

Sincerely yours,
Mingyu

***

28 January
Dear Mingyu,

It’s been so cold here; my apartment has a draft no matter where I sit. I would love nothing more than to lie in the sun with you and have a picnic on a summer day. I don’t think time moves the same way in winter—every day feels the same.

The thought of parallel universes feels too scientific to me; I think this is something more abstract and harder to pin down. I feel like this is some kind of test; that by enduring this separation our reward will be each other?

I wish there was a way for me to prove to you that I am real. Maybe a drawing will help? I’ve enclosed a drawing of myself. I’ve never done a self-portrait before, but I think it turned out alright for what I want—an outline of myself, for you. Will whatever force that is keeping us apart grant us this much? Is it too dangerous to hope for that?

Yours,
Minghao
[I assure you, just as I am as real as you are, I ache for you just the same.]

***

February 12, 2019
Dear Minghao,

The drawing worked!! I can’t stop looking at it and tracing over it, it's already bent at the corners from how many times I have picked it up. Maybe I should frame it? Everything about you—all that I have in relation to you—seems precious, and I am worried the forces of the universe will take it away from me.

I try to imagine your drawing to scale, how tall are you? Maybe I’m too greedy…the drawing makes me think of how I would look in comparison to you, if I were to stand next to you. I took a picture of your drawing and developed it myself, and now your face is blown large and lifesize and pinned on my wall next to the picture of your city view from your apartment. I am enclosing a drawing of me done by my friend Jungkook. He’s a great artist, right?

I am treating today as a gift. Today, I am too relieved to question how things came to be the way they are.

Yours always,
Mingyu
P.S. It’s Valentine’s Day soon, what kind of flowers do you like?

***

22 February
Dear Mingyu,

You are exactly as I pictured you. Nothing about this drawing is a surprise to me, even though I have never seen you before. Isn’t that strange? I too, am past reason to question anything at this point.

Yours truly,
Minghao
[I like chrysanthemums.]

***

March 18, 2019
Dear Minghao,

The strangest thing happened last night! I dreamed of you! At least, it felt like you. Ah, this is so hard to explain in words. I was in L.A. waiting to cross the street and I saw you waiting across the street from me. I couldn’t quite see your face, it was blurry and there were a lot of people and when we started crossing the street I couldn’t reach you in the crowd of people and then I woke up. I don’t even think you saw me, but I swear it was you. I saw you, I just know it.

Yours truly,
Mingyu

***

6 April
Dear Mingyu,

I got goosebumps reading your letter. I had a very similar dream the night that you had your dream. I dreamt that I had to meet Youngmi daepyo-nim at a cafe in L.A., but I was running late and I was waiting to cross the street and the light took so long to turn red and there were so many people. It was one of those dreams where you try to hurry but it feels like you’re wading through honey and everything is excruciatingly slow.

Today is your birthday, and I went to Hangang for a walk and pretended we were celebrating together. I sat for a while watching the couples, and felt the most profound sense of contentment settle over me, like fresh snow or a warm blanket. I hope you felt it too wherever you were, wherever you are.

The cherry blossoms have reached their peak now, I have enclosed a photo. I’m in the photo, but I know you won’t see me. I’m sending it anyway. A man can dream, right?

With love,
Minghao
[Next time I dream, I’ll look for you.]

***

April 15, 2019
Dear Minghao,

Thank you for the birthday wish. My friends came over to my apartment and I cooked for them! As we were sitting around the dinner table, I realized it was the first time in a long time that I didn’t feel lonely. It isn’t the same without you of course, but I imagined you sitting with us and meeting my friends, and it made me incredibly happy.

I’ve started keeping a dream diary next to my bed. I typically never remember my dreams, but there’s nothing more frustrating than waking up and feeling the dreams slipping away from me. I haven’t had another dream of you since March. And of course, the photograph you sent is just of the trees. Maybe it’s the changing of the seasons, but I think I’ve accepted that we can only see each other in glimpses.

With love,
Mingyu

***

31 April
Dear Mingyu,

I dreamed of you for the first time last night. We were at the Getty Museum and I was walking down the steps at the main entrance as you were walking up. I called your name and you looked up at me. We saw each other. I can’t believe it. Please write as soon as you can!

Yours,
Minghao

***

May 10, 2019
Dear Minghao,

I SAW YOU TOO. I woke up and started writing immediately but the dream faded so quickly and I lost most of it before I could finish and my notes are so hard to read but I remember. I remember you, I remember you, and I’ll repeat it to myself all day and hold it close.

With love,
Mingyu

***

19 May
Dear Mingyu,

Would it tempt fate too much if we tried again? I mean—if we tried to meet again. We’ve seen each other in passing twice now, but it’s not enough. And now I feel invincible. I think our moment is just within our reach. And I’m not afraid if anything goes wrong. We always have our correspondence to fall back on if things go badly.

What do you think?

With love,
Minghao

***

June 3, 2019

Minghao—yes. Yes doesn’t even cover it. Let’s meet at LACMA, for old time’s sake? I’m game for testing fate. How about July 1?

With love,
Mingyu

***

14 June
Dear Mingyu,

1 July can’t come fast enough. I go to work but my mind is elsewhere. I lie in bed and stare at my ceiling and I should be sleeping, I should be well-rested for our meeting, but all I want is for the days to come faster.

All my love,
Minghao

***

July 1, 2019
Dear Minghao,

Tonight we are trying again. I haven’t had coffee in two weeks. I bought blackout curtains. I’ve developed the habit of taking a warm bath before bed every night. I want to make myself as relaxed as possible, but every nerve in my body is alive. I actually just got back from a run in the park, I couldn’t sit still anymore. And maybe that will ruin everything, but we can always try again, right?

Good night, my love. Yours,
Mingyu

***

2 July
Dear Mingyu,

I held your hand last night, and now I think I understand what it means to hold something great in my hands.

All my love,
Minghao

***

First quote is from Jean Cocteau, second quote is from “evermore” by taylor swift.

thanks for reading!! come talk to me on twt!

this fic is also crossposted to ao3.

Edited 2022-02-26 22:05 (UTC)

can't believe i didn't comment before. but i'm commenting now. what the fuuuuck.............. the dialogue is like perfect. "do you not want to get your dick sucked?" is so wonderful. junshua tomgreg has ruined my life. and HAO as shiv....... i am always ruminating on this hope you know that

oh ouch. I do think Woozi is a naturally egotistical person and showing the downfall like this is wonderful

Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Jeonghan
Major Tags: mentioned recreational drug use
Additional Tags: misuse of biblical lore, wonhan kenstewy, see s2 e1 of succession for more insanity, coworkers(?) to enemies(?)
Permission to remix: please ask

dear pb, i am fully aware your prompt has already been filled absolutely beautifully. in fact i’m not even sure this fits the prompt at all - it's the wrong succession couple for one thing. but i’m deranged now, so here.

***

"He's taking an important call?" Jeonghan asks. Although he doesn't ask, not really. His words are loaded with a sarcasm that curdles in Wonwoo's own mouth.

"I- yeah. He's taking a call. Like I said, he's very sorry that he couldn't-"

"He's taking a call and he can't miss it. How 80s, how quaint. How utterly charming of him. And now I have to deal with his offcuts."

Wonwoo doesn't flinch. He keeps his eyes firmly on Jeonghan's shoes. They're scuffed, just a little. Jeonghan should really put in more effort.

"You got nothing to say to me?"

Wonwoo opens his mouth. Nothing comes out. The air he breathes dries out his mouth, parches his throat.

"Of course not. You never have anything to say. Not even when it's your fucking decision, you never explain yourself. You've never needed to. You can get someone else to say the tough shit and you can run and hide under your little rock where nobody can find you."

Wonwoo squirms a little in his suit. Jeonghan's right, of course, more right than he even knows.

"And now you're not taking any of my calls."

Wonwoo blinks. He wasn't expecting that. He hopes he's imagining the plaintive hint in Jeonghan's voice.

"I'm not having it," Jeonghan continues. "We had a plan, we had everything set up, and then you cut me off with nothing. So now that you're here, I need you to say it. Tell me what fucking happened."

Wonwoo keeps staring at the shoes. "I- I mean, well- yeah, I guess-"

"Wonwoo, come on."

"Look, it's not exactly like you have any moral high ground," Wonwoo mutters weakly. "You fucked me over on that vote of no confidence about my dad. I was a dead man when I put it on the table and you practically stormed in and robbed my fucking tomb."

Jeonghan scoffs, just as Wonwoo thought he would. "You think either of us have any moral high ground? We just tried to et tu Brute your dad and now you're talking to me about moral high ground? This isn't about moral high ground anymore, this is about us."

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? Stop fucking around. We had the world in the palms of our hands. We had everything we could ever want, everything we've always wanted. But then you fucking bailed. So tell me. What did he offer you?"

"What are you talking about?" Wonwoo plays dumb, ignoring the lump rising to his throat.

"Your dad, asshole. What did he offer?"

"He didn't offer-"

"Or what did he do to you? He must have done something."

"He didn't do anything, I don't know what you mean."

Jeonghan's face twists for a second, lemon-sour and ugly in a way that Wonwoo thought was impossible. Then, he closes his eyes and sighs. When he looks back at Wonwoo, it's softer, it's moss on a river bank.

"There's a friend card here, if you want to play it. There's a living, breathing human that cares for you, that wants you to tell me things. You can tell me, whatever it is. What did he do?"

Wonwoo knows Jeonghan. He's clever enough not to fall for this.

"You don't mean that," he says. It's as confident as he can manage, brittle-voiced as he is.

"What, that I'm your friend? After all these years, is it that unbelievable that we're friends? Have I just been dicking around all this time?"

"Not- not that. Of course you're my friend, but you don't care. We're just- I mean it's only-" Wonwoo flounders, shifting in his suit.

Only what? What could possibly describe what Wonwoo and Jeonghan are?

Jeonghan rolls his eyes. Predictable. That doesn't stop something flaring up in Wonwoo, though.

"You know, you pretty much told me I shouldn't trust you. You can't tell someone not to trust you and then ask why-"

"That didn't stop you though, did it? You had no problem trusting me when it came to planning the whole thing. Why can't you trust me now?"

"If you cared about me, you wouldn't have hidden that you were working with one of my dad's biggest enemies for months."

"And it's because I care about you that I fought tooth and nail with those enemies to get a takeover arrangement that made you CEO! That's what this was all about, wasn't it? You wanted to be king of the castle and you wanted it all to yourself, so I worked to make that happen. You were so sure you could make everything better and set up your little fairytale and take away your dad's curse, but once I'd hacked through the fucking forest of thorns you bailed on me!"

Jeonghan's shouting now. He doesn't normally shout. He's sharp and acerbic and scathing, but he doesn't shout. The words land on Wonwoo like blows.

"You didn't care about that." Wonwoo curls, not blooming but wilting. "You d- You don't care about what I want. This was only ever about money to you, so I don't know why you're pretending-"

"Oh here we go," Jeonghan sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Here's Wonwoo, martyr of all martyrs. He's suffered more than Christ. Everyone's against him, nobody's on his side, he's all alone in a sea of people that despise his very being. So eager to repent and be crucified that he won't even spare a moment, a fraction of a second, to look in the eye of the whore that cares about him."

Wonwoo looks up at that. Jeonghan doesn't say real things. But this feels too real, real enough to sear Wonwoo's suit and burn holes in his skin.

"You don't care," Wonwoo sputters.

"Just repeating something won't make it true," Jeonghan replies. It's gentle, it's light streaming through a gap in the drapes. "Now be honest. What happened?"

For the briefest of seconds, Wonwoo considers it. Once, back in college, Jeonghan told Wonwoo that he could probably never do something wrong. Wonwoo simply glanced at the coke that he was arranging into neat lines on the table between them. But Jeonghan laughed and said you know what I mean, I mean like really wrong. You're Wonwoo. You don't do the wrong thing.

And Wonwoo had believed him. It was hard for Wonwoo to do anything wrong, Wonwoo who thought so much and did so little. But he’s different now. Maybe Jeonghan isn’t, but Wonwoo is. Wonwoo has done the wrong thing, and now he’s paying the price for it. He’s treading water, barely managing to keep his head above the surface, saltwater spluttering in his mouth and nose. Just about able to gasp a few desperate breaths. One wrong move and down he goes, never to be seen again.

Wonwoo wants to call someone over, reach a hand out, tell someone. Anyone. Jeonghan. Jeonghan who makes everything sound so easy, who would help him raze an empire to the ground if he got a share in the rubble. Jeonghan who always knows better, but somehow still wants Wonwoo to be happy. Jeonghan who cares, apparently. Does he? Would he walk by Wonwoo's side? Would he wait by his tomb for three days? If Wonwoo fell down before him, would he help him up? Or would he sink to his knees and wrap his arms around him, tighter and tighter and tighter until-

(When every embrace is a snake's coil, you learn to live without.)

Wonwoo takes a deep breath.

"Well, I- I mean- I guess I saw your plan, and my dad's plan was better." Rehearsed to an art. Wonwoo can roll this sentence around his mouth and spit it out at will.

Jeonghan nods. "Yeah, yeah, I know. And fuck you too. Fuck you, you cowardly, selfish fucking daddy's boy, fucking glass ruby, fucking spineless maggot, grade A prick."

Words are air to Wonwoo, light and free-flowing. He bends and twists them whatever way his mouth can manage. But now they're stones for Jeonghan to fling, arrows to shoot, needles to jab right where it hurts most. Maybe it's because he's telling the truth.

Wonwoo looks down at Jeonghan's shoes again. Still scuffed. He can't see himself in them, at least.

"Now that that's out of the way," Jeonghan says, "what does your father need to tell me?"

Ship/Member: Seokmin/Minghao, Mingyu/Minghao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: oh you're in a queer relationship? which one of you is polyamorous and which one of you is pretending to be ok with it?, inspired by the gyuhao busan fiasco of 2022
Permission to remix: please ask

yes i'm aware it's july

***

They look beautiful on the boat. They shouldn’t, given how they’re squinting a little in the sunlight, but they do. Minghao’s got an arm slung over Mingyu’s too-broad shoulders, and one of Mingyu’s hands is in his hair. Everything about them is sharp, angled and neat and perfect. They’re standing close to each other, but not too close. There’s a gap between them, where Minghao’s shoulder is tightened awkwardly. A courtesy to Seokmin, perhaps. To soften the blow of his partner going for a weekend away with a man that isn’t him.

They shouldn’t have. There’s no point. At the end of the day, the warm glow of the sun still lightens their faces, while Seokmin lies in bed in the dark, cold and alone.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been looking at the Instagram post, swiping from picture to picture. He doesn’t even follow Mingyu, technically - he didn’t want to give Minghao the satisfaction. But then Minghao had posted some pictures of himself and Seokmin couldn’t help himself. Mingyu must have taken the photos of Minghao that he posted, and that knowledge makes Seokmin feel sick. It’s horrific, knowing that someone else sees Minghao as tenderly and vividly as he does - it’s like Mingyu has walked through his head and stripped him of his memories, posting them online for everyone to see. Seokmin has to know the whole story, to try and steal back some of their joy through the screen. Isn’t it greedy of them to keep it all for themselves?

In a way, of course, it’s all his fault. Minghao had said from the start that he would keep his options open, explaining it all to Seokmin very clearly. But Seokmin was greedy, and an ounce of tenderness was worth more than a life of loyalty. All he needed was love, and Minghao gave it to him. He feasted on every shy giggle and swooping kiss that Minghao had to offer, gorging himself like he would never get enough. He whispered sweet nothings into Minghao’s ear, honey filling his cheeks, cloying on the tongue. Minghao was everywhere and everything, and Seokmin knew nothing else - he was bursting at the seams with love.

Then Minghao met Mingyu. Who’s perfectly nice, by the way. The only issue that Seokmin has with him is that Minghao loves him. There’s no reason why he wouldn’t. They have similar interests, and Mingyu’s kind and handsome. Seokmin’s only met him a few times, but all those times Minghao looked at him like he was a gift to unwrap layer by layer. It makes sense, even Seokmin realises that now. He thought nothing of it at first, willing himself to believe it was all fine, until Minghao told him that he wanted to ‘give it a try’ with Mingyu.

And now Seokmin is nothing. He can only build himself up under Minghao’s loving gaze, so now he’s crumbling. He waits, eager and foolish, for scraps of affection like a dog at the dinner table. He’s starved of Minghao’s touch, so much so that he aches with it. Anything will do, really - could he be an afterthought at the very least?

Seokmin’s selfish, he knows that. He doesn’t want to be. He knows he should be good and kind and not want too much. It scares him sometimes, his jealousy. It’s an ugly feeling and he knows it, but it swells in him with all the force of the sea, a tidal wave that could swallow Minghao whole. Maybe then he could keep Minghao for himself. Minghao still loves him - or at least, he says as much - but is it a crime to want to be sure? Is it really so terrible to want to be more than Mingyu?

Minghao’s too good. That's the real problem. Minghao’s too good, and that's why he wants someone like Mingyu, someone who's always just as good. Sometimes, Seokmin wishes that Minghao were worse, or at least just bad enough to still want him. But Mingyu makes him better and happier and brighter, and Seokmin is sick of it.

He swipes through the post again, this time looking at a video. They’re in life vests on the boat, playing a game of rock paper scissors. At one point, Mingyu runs his fingers down Minghao’s arm. Has he memorised the shape of it like Seokmin has? Does he know each dip of muscle, the softness of his skin, the gentle curve of his shoulder? Mingyu loses the game of rock paper scissors, and he jumps into the water without hesitation. Seokmin would have trembled and stalled for at least half an hour. Would Minghao giggle with unbridled glee like he’s doing with Mingyu, or would he just be irritated? Is Mingyu braver than Seokmin? Is he better than Seokmin? Is Minghao happier with him, more at peace?

Why is Mingyu the one making Minghao happy? Why can’t Seokmin do that himself?

The video plays on and on, and Seokmin’s eyes burn when he blinks. Before he can let himself think too much, he types out a quick comment on the post. It must be really nice, with a little emoji, and he means it. It must be nice to hear Minghao’s laugh for real, instead of imagining it while watching a soundless video. It must be nice to see his mouth curve into a pretty smile, to cause it. It must be nice to be on the open sea, on a vast nothingness with the only person that matters. But nice isn't right, it isn't big enough to capture what being with Minghao is like. Does Mingyu even know how good he has it? Does Mingyu hunger the way Seokmin does?

Maybe it's petty or selfish or something, but he posts the comment and puts his phone away. It's not meant to be a threat or anything, just a reminder - I was here first. You can have him all you want, but I was here first and I’m still here now. When you look at him, remember I’m there too.

For now, at least, he feels a little better. In this small way, Minghao is still his.

an ounce of tenderness was worth more than a life of loyalty oh you are crrrrazey nj. so crazy. that bonked me so hard.
And now Seokmin is nothing. He can only build himself up under Minghao’s loving gaze, so now he’s crumbling. RIP what are we without love? what are we when nobody is looking at us, when we are just for ourselves? ah, good questions.
Is Mingyu braver than Seokmin? Is he better than Seokmin? Is Minghao happier with him, more at peace? mmmm the self doubt, the hate for someone who seems better at making the people you love happy.
i'm insane thanks a lot <3

it must be nice… oh hey… i’m over here with my head in my hands (and a burning need 4 justice for seokmin) but hey ur crazy and i loved this <3 Minghao still loves him - or at least, he says as much - but is it a crime to want to be sure? Is it really so terrible to want to be more than Mingyu? seokmin nice guyisms & the wanting to be looked at too i’m actually worse. thank you for writing

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Page 71 of 73

2022 Round 1: Quotes

Re: [REMIX]: from the dead: a sense of scale

Re: [FILL] more land than water

[FILL]: Just To Get It Right

[FILL] her lady's wishes

Re: [FILL] her lady's wishes

Re: seokgyu + homoerotic swordfighting

Re: [FILL]: one good honest kiss

[remix] somewhere only we know (pt. 1a)

[remix] somewhere only we know (pt. 1b)

[FILL] that, i know

[REMIX] when i put my teeth to her wrist, the world goes everywhere white

Re: [REMIX] when i put my teeth to her wrist, the world goes everywhere white

Re: [REMIX] when i put my teeth to her wrist, the world goes everywhere white

Re: [REMIX] when i put my teeth to her wrist, the world goes everywhere white

Re: [FILL] in the midst of a red ocean

Re: [FILL] may it rise to meet your feet

[FILL] a warm love

Re: [FILL] a warm love

Re: [remix] somewhere only we know (pt. 2)

Re: [FILL] one for the money

Re: [FILL] : impact.

[FILL] not waving but drowning

[FILL] tunnel vision

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision

Re: [FILL] tunnel vision