hwarium: (santa woozi)
hwa ([personal profile] hwarium) wrote in [community profile] 17hols2021-11-25 01:04 pm

2022 Round 1: Quotes

Status: Closed
This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.
Seventeen Holidays
Round 1: Quotes


About

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

"What is grief, if not love persevering?"

"You kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath"

Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. Each prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, and more. Steal from a literary classic, or WeVerse drama. Have fun!


Examples


Minghao + Ocean Vuong
The most beautiful part of your body
is where it's headed. & remember,
loneliness is still time spent
with the world.

Ocean Vuong - night sky with exit wounds

Hoshi/Anyone; "Beauty is terror"
Thinking about these two quotes together and the idea of on/off-stage personas:

"Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful we tremble before it. And what could be more terrifying or beautiful, to the Greeks to to our own, than to lose control completely?" - Donna Tartt, the Secret Histories

"I am calm in everyday life but when I put on my in-ear device and step on stage, I can feel the tension and hear the cheers getting louder as the music gets louder. When the staff tells me it's time to step on stage, I feel something boil inside me. I feel it steaming inside and I think I have to give a burst of something, spill what is inside me." - Hoshi in Hit the Road Ep. 04


Any ship; "It's been so many years"
Hello, hello there, is this Martha?
This is old Tom Frost
And I am calling long distance
Don't worry 'bout the cost.
'Cause it's been forty years or more
Now Martha please recall
Meet me out for coffee
Where we'll talk about it all.

Tom Watts - Martha

Rules
  • Sign up is not required.
  • Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too!
  • There is no maximum cap.
  • Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest).
  • NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged
  • NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview.

How it works


Prompting
  1. Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post;
  2. Change the subject to something interesting;
  3. Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want!

Filling
  1. Reply to the original prompt;
  2. Change the subject to [FILL], you may add a title or stay chaotic;
  3. Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text.

    You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.

Remixing
  1. Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
  2. Change the subject to [REMIX].
Art/media
  1. Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.)
  2. Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it!
  3. Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead.

    (To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want)

Note!
On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it.
Navigation



infrequencies: (Default)

you in january

[personal profile] infrequencies 2021-12-30 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: support systems, platonic or otherwise
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:
You were the one thing I got right
I'm measuring heartbeats and miles away
You held me together
I used to burst and decay
—The Wonder Years, You in January
seokmin_liker: (Default)

Re: [FILL] in something greater

[personal profile] seokmin_liker 2021-12-30 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
YEEEEEEE an alien feeling alienated wherever they go WHAT a vibe. and seungyoun is his home 💕💕💕
seokmin_liker: (Default)

Re: [FILL] pretend that i'm the only one

[personal profile] seokmin_liker 2021-12-30 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
AAAAAAAH sorry i don't have coherent words but like. I LOVE THIS!!!!! going to be thinking about seokgyu bridgerton for the rest of my days thank you

Re: [FILL] in something greater

(Anonymous) 2021-12-30 11:53 pm (UTC)(link)
aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA you gave vernon a boyfriend... oh i loved all of it it's so gut wrenching LOVELY. feels like i could read a biography on this seungyoun and still not get enough of him. you're so good at writing cool things!!!!!

Re: [FILL] in something greater

(Anonymous) 2021-12-30 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
ooooooohhhhhhhhh this is Soooooo sweet [profile] _@ i Love Them!!!!!!!!! the Tenderness is just so tangible and i really love how this all came together<3333

:))))

[personal profile] mahirayaaaaa 2021-12-30 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Ship/Member: Seungcheol/Jeonghan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: long-term relationship, character study
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:
"Through timeless words and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides ‒ they turn ‒ and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together"
- Jason Mraz, 'A Beautiful Mess'


almondtree: (Default)

Re: [FILL] in something greater

[personal profile] almondtree 2021-12-30 11:57 pm (UTC)(link)
eeeeehhehee i gotta say i rlly enjoyed writing mr woodz i may need to bring him back in the future...thank u for reading!!
surjamukhi: (Default)

[FILL] It’s just that you remind me of a dog I once had and loved very much.

[personal profile] surjamukhi 2021-12-31 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Mingyu
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: The Social Network AU
Permission to remix: No

***

“When did you come to Mingyu?”

“I don’t understand the question.”

“When did you approach Mingyu Kim with the idea for your website?”

“At a party at Sigma Chi,” Wonwoo says with great reluctance.


***


“I got punched by the Phoenix,” Mingyu had said triumphantly, a little too buoyed on the night. "I mean, it’s probably a diversity thing– but anyways. Hey. What did you wanna talk about again?”

Wonwoo blinked slowly.

He asked, “You got punched by the Phoenix?”

“Yeah, but– hey, it’s just a finals club, it’s not–”

“Come outside with me,” Wonwoo said.

At least, that was probably what he said.

Later it would be hard to account most of it in a clearheaded and detached manner to the lawyers. With the advantages of age and distance, Mingyu would realize he had missed the moment– the shift in Wonwoo’s eyes as he’d decided the two of them would leave the party.

Wonwoo, who flipped all of Microsoft off in high school by uploading his music production app onto the internet for free. Wonwoo who was funny and acidic and a bonafide certifiable genius. Wonwoo who had a deep well of something dark inside of him. And Mingyu, his idiot business major roommate who wore three-piece suits to class. The two of them, trekking out of Sig Chi and into the January Boston cold on a mission to change the world.

“What’s this about,” Mingyu said, his teeth chattering, leaning against the old brick wall of the house. Everything here had history, held memories.

“It’s about the website. Our website.”

Mingyu raised an eyebrow. A month ago, after a bad breakup, Wonwoo had gotten some crazy idea and Mingyu had scribbled algorithms on their dorm windows with Expo marker and felt young and dumb and sparkly every time Wonwoo looked at him.

“Yeah? What about our website?”

Wonwoo shifted back and forth in his slides, his hands shoved into his Harvard hoodie pockets, and said, “It’s going to be something bigger. Something important. Be my CFO?”

Ask anyone: Mingyu Kim was a deeply pragmatic person. He knew this, even if he lacked a certain amount of self-awareness. He always had a Plan B. He had grown up working hard at how to be liked, and how to dress, and who to talk to, and how to impress his own father.

But a month ago, Wonwoo had told him, “I need you.” And Mingyu had said, without thinking, without breathing, “I’m here for you.”

So that night, Mingyu, naive, young, and in a deep and terrible and painful well of feelings, said, “Of course I’ll be your CFO.”

“Hey, look, what the fuck, I made the second cut,” Mingyu said brightly a week after they’d shaken on it.

He brandished his envelope from the Phoenix Club in the low light of their dorm room. Wonwoo looked up from his laptop, then down again. He was working on the website. His expression was hard to read. He murmured something vague, and Mingyu stood there in the doorway for what felt like another hour.

He wanted to understand the new look in Wonwoo’s eyes. He wanted to fix it, brush it away the way he used to be able to. Only Wonwoo was busy with the laptop, so Mingyu smiled slightly, lowered his eyes, and left the dorm to wrangle together more money, more contacts, anything he could do to help.

But it was fine. It was okay, things were good, because two weeks later:

“You don’t know what that’s going to mean to my father,” Mingyu breathed, leaning over Wonwoo’s shoulder. Wonwoo was shaky on Red Bull and vodka and a week of no sleep, his fingers twitchy where they were tapping on the table.

Right there on the masthead of their website. Mingyu Kim, CFO, Co-Founder.

“Sure I do,” Wonwoo said quietly.

He held Mingyu’s gaze, one, two, three seconds, and smiled.

He did know. He knew more than he’d ever care to let on.

“If there’s something wrong, if there’s ever anything wrong, you can tell me,” Mingyu said quietly. “I want to help you. I’m the person who helps you here. Okay? This is our thing. Yours and mine.”


***


“Were you jealous of him?”

Wonwoo sits up from his constant slouch.

“I’m sorry. Jealous? What would I have to be jealous about?”

There’s a look in Wonwoo’s eyes that Mingyu knows so well. It reminds him of before. The way Wonwoo used to stand at the edges of crowds at parties and at meetings, the way he hadn’t yet truly understood his own power. The way he always had that funny vulnerable lonely kid deep inside of him.

Mingyu’s lawyer had briefed him about an earlier meeting with someone else Wonwoo had fucked over. The other guy’s lawyer had asked, “Why did you go to Mingyu Kim for the money? When you had so many other options?”

“I think you were the jealous one back then, Mr. Kim,” Wonwoo’s lawyer says now. “Weren’t you.”

“I wasn’t jealous,” Mingyu says. “I was nervous.”

“Why were you nervous?”

“Because…”

Because even then, in that Harvard dorm room, there had been a distant, rational fear that sooner or later he was going to get left behind. All that love. What if none of it mattered in the end? What if it wasn’t enough, not when the whole world awaited? What if it all dissolved to lawyers and NDAs and money and who was going to be remembered at the end?

At that other meeting, Wonwoo had said, like it was so very obvious, “I went to Mingyu Kim because that’s who I wanted to be partners with. Because he was my best friend.”

The other guy’s lawyer deadpanned, “Your best friend is suing you for $600 million.”

“It’s raining,” Wonwoo says now, distantly, looking out the window.

Mingyu still recognizes every part of this. Of him. All of his reactions and his defenses. He isn’t looking at Mingyu for a reason. He hasn’t looked at Mingyu much at all in the last four years for the same reason.

Sometimes in the past, before everything went wrong, Mingyu used to think it was possible that he and Wonwoo had known each other as children and had simply forgotten about it until college. Mingyu figured he’d probably loved Wonwoo for as long as he’d been alive, and maybe even longer, if that was possible. He figured Wonwoo had known the whole time, too.


***


A few months after they launched the website, ingenue entrepreneur Soonyoung Kwon showed up to a prospective business meeting in tiger-stripe sunglasses and ordered a series of mai tais for the whole table.

He largely ignored Mingyu. Made fun of the suits and the occasional stutter. He kept telling Wonwoo, “You need to move to California, man.”

Wonwoo did. Fell for Soonyoung hook, line, and sinker, but just for the summer. Mingyu stuck to their original plan. The one they’d cooked up in their dorm room together. He still believed in that, in the two of them. He spent a lonely summer in Manhattan riding subways, trying to find ad revenue for the website, ultimately giving up.

When Wonwoo finally opened the door to the stupid Palo Alto startup house at the end of the summer, Mingyu was defeated, without much progress, and absolutely fucking drenched.

“I waited an hour for you at the airport,” Mingyu said, low and tight. “In the rain. Why is Soonyoung setting up your business meetings now?”

Wonwoo avoided his eyes.

“Wonwoo.”

“I’m afraid if you don’t come out here you’re gonna get left behind,” Wonwoo said quietly. He was looking at the floor. But for a second, he looked up, right into Mingyu’s eyes.

Mingyu didn’t know what to believe. He stayed a little bit, then he left in a haze of envy when Wonwoo kept letting Soonyoung set things up. One day he woke up and froze the company bank account with the spite of a child. Like that would be enough of a slap in the face to make Wonwoo remember that it was supposed to be the two of them, him and Mingyu, he was Mingyu’s, Mingyu was his.

“Come to San Francisco,” Wonwoo said over the phone that night, tense and low. “There are some documents you need to sign, but– but I need you. I want– I need you here.”

Mingyu stood there alone in his lonely studio apartment in Manhattan with tears in his eyes. He could see the stupid house in Palo Alto, he could see Soonyoung and the other employees cracking bottles open and hollering.

He could see Wonwoo, standing outside the house. All alone, too.

“Okay,” Mingyu said, closing his eyes. “I’ll come.”


***


“I was your friend,” Mingyu says.

He thinks about the week after that phone call. Palo Alto. Reduced to angry tears, throwing Wonwoo’s laptop against the ground in front of half of his employees, saying with all the venom in his body that he was gonna lawyer the fuck up. How he’d hated himself for having let it devolve to this, somehow. How he still couldn’t hate Wonwoo for the same crime.

“I was your only friend.”

“I know,” Wonwoo says.

He doesn’t say, I’m sorry.

After they’ve settled, after they’ve signed and gone through the formalities, after the lawyers’ voices have been traded for the patter of the rain, Mingyu finds himself on the top of the roof of the empty parking lot of the office building, alone.

“Why.”

He turns around. Behind him, Wonwoo is drenched, hair all in his eyes.

“Why would you even follow me in the first place," Wonwoo says. "Why did you keep following?”

“I could answer you honestly,” Mingyu says slowly, “and maybe I will. Because when I first met you, you had trouble making eye contact. You’d talk so fast that sometimes it was like mostly you were talking to yourself. You were… you were very sweet. There’s something about your face. This thing still wells up in me. And when I imagine you as a kid, when I imagine you before you knew what you could do, before—”

The Bay Area is spread out below them. The lights shimmering through the encroaching fog. Mingyu had wanted something like this for himself once. At the end of it, there were supposed to be two of them standing here.

But not like this.

Wonwoo murmurs, “You didn’t know me at thirteen.”

“I really wish I had,” Mingyu whispers.


***


title from this andrew garfield + jesse eisenberg interview


slytherminie: (Default)

Re: [FILL] in something greater

[personal profile] slytherminie 2021-12-31 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
oh this is so so so lovely!!! i adore alien vernon feeling out of place and out of this world, but not wanting to leave it behind, and his boyfriend who helps him find his home <3 what a duo <3
injae: LEE SEOKMIN (Default)

Re: [FILL] It’s just that you remind me of a dog I once had and loved very much.

[personal profile] injae 2021-12-31 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
ki icb you DID This this was sooo good in every single way. the way that mingyu is so full of longing and the way that wonwoo KNOWS And just takes advantage of him in every single way......whadahale i feel so ruined.
FAV LINES IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER!
So that night, Mingyu, naive, young, and in a deep and terrible and painful well of feelings, said, “Of course I’ll be your CFO.” - BLINDED BY LOVE BLAH BLAH BLAH.
He held Mingyu’s gaze, one, two, three seconds, and smiled.
He did know. He knew more than he’d ever care to let on.
- ki I'm gonna eat my own brains thinking about htis.
Wonwoo murmurs, “You didn’t know me at thirteen.”
“I really wish I had,” Mingyu whispers.
- I know EXACTLY where you got this and it makes this whole thing worse it's making me worse.
seokmin_liker: (Default)

Re: [FILL] It’s just that you remind me of a dog I once had and loved very much.

[personal profile] seokmin_liker 2021-12-31 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
ahhh ki's specialty - sad meanie!!! loved this. grrrrr. you've absolutely nailed jww repression lord.
injae: LEE SEOKMIN (Default)

Re: [FILL] fight each other or for each other

[personal profile] injae 2021-12-31 12:13 am (UTC)(link)
THIS FILL RUINED ME!!! SO MUCH!!!! Absolutely destroyed me, I had to stop and read a little of this out loud to my friend tbh. Especially, I love the way the relationship cracks and frays at the edges, but also the way it ends with a light at the end of the tunnel. I also love how surreal the dream sequences feel, the way they feel so unsteady to read.
and finally these 2 lines, when I think too hard about them side by side screaming crying shaking.

It takes Mingyu three sleepless nights to notice it. Seokmin had been aiming perfectly for the heart.

Mingyu will not waste his chance this time.
“You were supposed to go for my heart.”
slytherminie: (Default)

Re: [FILL]: My Little Meow Meow (Evil)

[personal profile] slytherminie 2021-12-31 12:14 am (UTC)(link)
i am indeeed crazy, thanks for noticing
greycheonsa: (Default)

Re: we had our turn but it can't stay [FILL]

[personal profile] greycheonsa 2021-12-31 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
now on ao3, with light edits/updates.

greycheonsa: (Default)

Re: we had our turn but it can't stay [FILL]

[personal profile] greycheonsa 2021-12-31 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
HNGH to be fair i said i'd be baited with jicheol and... here i am. you're giving me such devastating material to work with!! i feel like i usually don't want to write canon jicheol but 17hols has a way of shaking it out of me. thank YOU for the prompts, and for reading!

Re: [FILL] This is not for tears

(Anonymous) 2021-12-31 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
this. im insane now.
fuck. eyes BLOODSHOT WIDE OPEN ready to witness the second coming of christ. wow.
heartspound: (Default)

Re: [FILL] It’s just that you remind me of a dog I once had and loved very much.

[personal profile] heartspound 2021-12-31 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
dear god... ki you don't understand what you just did to me. i had to keep pausing while reading because i'm laughing hysterically!!!! I'M CRAZY!!! YOU FINALLY DID IT!!!!! I'M LOSING MY MIND AAHABBSJWJWISSAAAammamaajja

Re: [FILL] This is not for tears

(Anonymous) 2021-12-31 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Seokmin says softly, kindly, in his talking-to-dogs voice, “Kim Mingyu.” oh my GODDDDDDDD. obsessed with this and how strangely accurate the style of dialogue is. bonkers. thank you
slytherminie: (Default)

Re: [Fill] The Way You Make Me Out to Be

[personal profile] slytherminie 2021-12-31 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
this *chef's kiss* feels so real and multi-faceted. so gutting, in a way, but hopeful and sweet. bittersweet (haha). i loved it!
slytherminie: (Default)

Re: [FILL] 겨우 (barely)

[personal profile] slytherminie 2021-12-31 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
the waves taken the love declaration away and then bringing it back several years later... oh what a good metaphor. so pretty. thank you for this!!
slytherminie: (Default)

Re: [FILL] my best heart is a century of hunger

[personal profile] slytherminie 2021-12-31 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
the innate setter-isms of Yoon Jeonghan YES EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAM IT!!!
no but this?!?!??!? wow just wow just WOW i don't have words to explain how i feel tbh.
slytherminie: (Default)

Re: FILL: recessional

[personal profile] slytherminie 2021-12-31 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
ah babe. i feel you. love you.

Re: [FILL] It’s just that you remind me of a dog I once had and loved very much.

(Anonymous) 2021-12-31 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
oh my god oh my gooddddddd the soonyoung casting choice ripped a hole in me so big.. WOW. thank you so much
infrequencies: (Default)

FILL: to your knees

[personal profile] infrequencies 2021-12-31 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Seungcheol/Joshua
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: very loose Iron Widow AU; glossed over violence and murder as you do
Permission to remix: Yes

iron widow is like.... well, let author xiran jay zhao explain it. this is vague to dance around potential spoilers and this fill cannot do this book justice but please read iron widow thank you

***

The sky is screaming when Jeonghan realizes that his fingers have sunken into dirt and he’s no longer co-piloting at Joshua’s side.

From the ground, he can only watch helplessly as the Vermillion Bird staggers, stumbles, sways from side to side.

An unholy sound escapes from the Bird’s mouth, taking blow by blow.

“Has Shua gone insane?” Seungcheol hisses, scrambling to his side. A Chrysalis isn’t meant to be piloted alone, not without a death wish.

But Joshua has nothing left to lose in this life other than his top ranking. Sacrificing himself for the sake of Jeonghan’s self-prescribed mission is—

The earth shakes, ground threatening to split in two under their bellies. Another Chrysalis aims their Qi in the Bird's direction.

A flash of light illuminates their faces, Joshua’s bio-stats tickering across the screen of Seungcheol’s wristlet.

The readings pull a hiss from Seungcheol that have little to do with the blooming stain at his hip. Joshua’s heart rate starts to drop as the Bird takes another hit, a beam of light to the sternum of the mech.

Jeonghan’s wings shudder as he tries to spread them, teeth gnashing when the armor crackles, too damaged from impact of being ejected. His head is still too cloudy from the fall, and Seungcheol’s hand on his shoulder feels more like a collar than recompense.

“We need to get back,” Jeonghan spits, feeling the soil and grit between his teeth. “I need to get back in—I need to…” He trails off, staring back at command central. Realization dawns on him then, eyes fixed on the blood red sky.

“They never were going to let us live, were they? They were always going to clip our wings.”

Seungcheol grimaces, pulling Jeonghan to his feet. No words pass them.

Jeonghan takes off in a sprint.



When he allowed himself to become enlisted, Jeonghan kept his head down until it was time. Fought like hell to stay alive when they paired him with a high-powered pilot known for killing off his partners.

One by one, the upper class swallowed up the commoners and turned them into a number. Nobodies like Jeonghan. Felons like Joshua. The forgotten, left to fade into the background of history.

Of the three of them, only Seungcheol stood a chance, even as the bastard son of a noble. The three of them came together to form a triangle—”The strongest shape,” Joshua had said, hands cupping Seungcheol’s face. “Three equal sides.”—a unit worth fearing.

Even leaned on their sides, even with a third of his heart taken away, their foundation is stronger than ever.


Jeonghan was the eighth pilot to fly with a noble more concerned with power and maintaining privilege than letting his partners thrive.

With the man's blood still dripping from his hands, Jeonghan swore then and there he would never become a statistic.

“Welcome to your fucking nightmare,” he’d smiled to the cameras. The room had erupted into shrieks.



At the end of the battle, Jeonghan takes over the left seat of a Chrysalis of legend. The public still remembers the sound of his deranged laughter, the blood coating his teeth.

His threats of bringing the oppressing class to their knees makes him both a target and a legend in the making.

Taking Joshua was their first mistake. Don’t they know that a diamond forms under pressure?

On his right, Seungcheol projects a map onto a sidewall inside the cockpit. In the top corner, he spies their target, a prison tucked away in the mountains, and they set sail.

When they get Joshua back, they’ll bring the world permanently to its knees.
Edited (explainer included!) 2021-12-31 15:42 (UTC)

[FILL] worm.

[personal profile] soupfan420 2021-12-31 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Soonyoung
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: RWF (real worm fiction)
Permission to remix: Yes
going for year of the tiger :)

***
“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

The first time Jeonghan pondered the question, it was with a teasing smile on his face. “Of course I would,” he’d said aloud to Soonyoung who was sitting across the room on his phone.

Soonyoung had blushed, delicate but Jeonghan could still tell even from far away. “Ah, hyung, that’s not… It’s just a meme. I just thought you would find it funny.”

“I might love you even more if you were a worm, actually,” Jeonghan had said, just to laugh at Soonyoung’s reaction. “You and Joshuji could sing a little worm duet. Kpop’s first all-worm subunit.”

Soonyoung had huffed, fake pouting, so Jeonghan stood up and ruffled his hair for a content sigh in return.

And that had been that. Jeonghan hadn’t thought about it any further, beyond being sure that the answer was yes. He would love Soonyoung across oceans or decades of distance, through the harshest arguments and angriest words, whether he were a worm or a bug or a tiger. Soonyoung didn’t need to know all that though, it wasn’t what he’d asked. Jeonghan answered his question because he could never lie, not to Soonyoung, but that was all.

Now, though… now he wonders if maybe Soonyoung had meant by something by it. Maybe he had known.

It’s late, late enough that Soonyoung should be back from practice but not so late that he’s probably pulling an all-nighter. The last time that Jeonghan heard from him, it was a text asking Jeonghan to meet him that evening for food, so here Jeonghan is. Standing in Soonyoung’s empty bedroom with an awful inexplicable sense of foreboding.

After a few minutes of tapping his foot and staring out the window, Jeonghan notices movement on Soonyoung’s bed. Jeonghan hesitantly moves a stuffed tiger to find a small shape wriggling on Soonyoung’s pillow.

“Oh my god,” Jeonghan whispers aloud. “Hoshi’s a worm.”

He texts Soonyoung and waits anxiously for the 1 to disappear by the message. After a minute, he calls and hears Soonyoung’s phone vibrate on his desk.

Surely there’s another explanation for this but Jeonghan can’t come up with one, can’t suppress the mounting horror as he stares at the worm on Soonyoung’s bed. Even the worm looks distressed, struggling against the fabric to make any progress. He scoops it up in one hand and the worm stills.

“Soonyoungie?” Jeonghan asks quietly.

The worm wriggles once in response.

“It’s okay, hyung found you,” Jeonghan coos. The worm is kind of cute, in a worm way. It’s not very big and not slimy like Jeonghan would have expected. He hasn’t actually held a worm since grade school, probably, when he’d dig them up and toss them in other boys’ pants. Good times.

He holds Soonyoung-worm a little closer to his chest. No tossing this worm around anywhere. Are worms fragile? Can’t they regenerate their tails if smashed, or was that lizards? Jeonghan should have paid more attention in school instead of putting worms down boys’ pants. What do worms even eat?

Oh god, they’re gonna have to try to put a worm in their choreography. “Hoshi is so talented, it won’t be a problem, will it? You’ll be teaching the rest of us worm choreography in no time,” Jeonghan says to the worm. If this is their new reality, better to start trying to adjust. If Soonyoung can even hear him. Do worms have ears?

“I guess this is going to put a little wrinkle in the tiger agenda, huh?”
The worm starts to writhe more anxiously, wrapping itself around one of Jeonghan’s fingers.

“Ah Hoshingie, it’s okay. Horanghae is old news anyway, you can… jireonghae? We’ll workshop it.”

The worm rolls over angrily in Jeonghan’s hand.

“Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. I love horanghae, I’m sorry. Maybe we can paint tiger stripes on your little worm body.”

The worm settles back down after that.

Tears start to well up in Jeonghan’s eyes as he looks at the worm, trying to figure out if it’s looking back at him or not. He’d been so wrong. Not about still loving Soonyoung, he does, but this isn’t funny at all.

This is nothing like Soonyoung wriggling around on the floor of the practice studio when he’s worn out after a long day of practice and frustrated with himself. He knows that Soonyoung, has him figured out in and out. Jeonghan can always read that Soonyoung no matter what, knows when he needs attention or reassurance or just to sit in silence. Jeonghan could do all of those things for a worm, sure, but it wouldn’t be the same. He’ll miss the Soonyoung who knows him back, who takes his words at face value because he knows Jeonghan would never lie, not to him. Soonyoung who sends him worm memes and asks sweetly if Jeonghan loves him and never asks how when Jeonghan rushes to say yes.

“Hyung,” Soonyoung says.

Jeonghan’s eyes instantly start to water again. “So you can speak?” he asks, peering down at his palm.

There’s a knock on the doorframe. Soonyoung clears his throat and says again “Hyung?”

Jeonghan finally notices the direction of the voice at the same time he turns around to see a very human Soonyoung waiting outside his room, eyebrows furrowed.

“Have you been crying?”

Jeonghan closes his hand around the worm and shoves it behind his back at the same time he notices that Soonyoung is hiding something behind his back himself.

“What do you have?” Jeonghan says, clearing his throat.

Soonyoung’s expression brightens, apparently willing to let Jeonghan go that easily. He holds up a small cage, grin bright as he presents it to Jeonghan. “I got a lizard! Sorry I was late, I came back earlier with the supplies, food and stuff, but then I accidentally left the container of worms open so I had to go back to the pet shop and get more,” Soonyoung says sheepishly. “Didn’t think it was right for us to eat if this little guy hadn’t gotten to yet!”

Jeonghan watches Soonyoung set the cage on his desk, complete with a new sealed container of worms.

“I already got permission, don’t worry,” Soonyoung rushes to add when Jeonghan doesn’t reply. “I’ve been reading up on them a lot and Vernon said he would help too if I ever forget or something, and he can stay with my parents if we travel. The lizard, not Vernon. Although my parents would probably be happy to have Vernon if he ever wanted. Maybe I should invite him over sometime.”

Jeonghan laughs but he can’t quite hide the wetness of it. He tries to scrub at his face again to hide any evidence of tears, but he’s only got one hand available.

Soonyoung sits down on the bed and stares up at him, eyes wide. “Are you okay?”

And how can Jeonghan lie, with Soonyoung asking so earnestly? It feels unimaginably silly to admit but if there’s anyone he could tell even his silliest secrets, it’s Soonyoung.

Jeonghan sits down too and pets the top of Soonyoung’s head and presses a kiss to bleach-stressed strands of hair.

Soonyoung makes a noise of confusion but leans into the touch.

“I got worried when you were gone for so long. You weren’t answering your phone,” Jeonghan whispers.

Soonyoung blinks. “Oh, I guess I left it here. Sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Jeonghan says through soft laughter he can’t hold back. “You know I love you, right?”

Soonyoung nods happily. “Of course.” He says it so easily, just like that. It aches, but it’s also enough to set Jeonghan’s mind to rest for the moment.

Jeonghan clears his throat. “I’m hungry, where did you want to eat?”

Soonyoung hops off the bed with a shrug. “Nothing in mind. We can just walk and see what sounds good?”

Jeonghan nods and stands up to follow.

Soonyoung stops in the doorframe, turning around to look at him. “Hyung,” he says, soft but serious.

Jeonghan braces himself.

“What’s that in your hand?”