Then Seokmin proceeds to embark on one of his lengthy soliloquies, performing, as always, for the world at large. His eyes are wide in an obnoxious act of innocence as he pleads to the throne room, to the chandeliers, his brows knitting together in false sincerity, his voice rising. WOW! you've knocked me out with a single punch! i actually think this is so interesting because hamlet is so often viewed as a whiny overdramatic asshole whereas seokmin is SO sincere he glows with it so everything he says is from the heart, but of course it's all about perspective so of COURSE mingyu would think that seokmin is just a performer! and the best part is seokmin is a performer but he's also sincere!
tangent but now i'm just thinking about how hamlet feigns madness and how SEOKMIN would have had to feign madness and the whole debate over whether it really is fake because!! one of my favourite little seokmin paradoxes is that he's a brilliant actor but he's also really honest and open in normal life so how much is he faking it? what's real and what isn't?
jeonghan's only a fool for seokmin!!!! i don't know if this was deliberate or not but it just reminded me of seokhan's routine where jeonghan asks seokmin who he's a fool for and seokmin says he's only a fool for jeonghan hyung and!!! the REVERSAL of that!!! the TENDERNESS of it!!! jeonghan horatio is something i never would have considered and now i think i need to lie down
And when he looks at Seokmin, he sees through the ghost of the prince’s act and feels the hatred underneath. GHOSTS!!!!!!!!
And it burns because, despite all of it, Mingyu wants to be looked at kindly. Once they were playmates. Once Seokmin would have cried into his shoulder, would have let Mingyu stroke his hair and say, Don’t cry, be strong, it isn't your fault. Now Mingyu can’t recognize the man before him and is the worse for it. oh my god. ki. i am WOUNDED.
It makes what is out of reach— like the way Seokmin smiles at Jeonghan or how he is able to evade any consequences of his own fucking actions— that much more unbearable. YOU'RE INSANE (affectionate) ok sorry i'm back here again because WOW what a way to capture what it's like to desire someone - or rather, to want to be desired by someone - while also recognising their shortcomings and also being insanely jealous that they're desired and revered and even LOOKED at. because he wants seokmin to look at him but he also just wants SOMEONE to look at him. fuck!!
The only thing that hasn’t is how he’s been looking at Mingyu in the last few months. Mocking him, seeing through him as if Mingyu is nothing, as if Mingyu’s own pain and grief amount to dust. ahhhhhh. see the grief is really interesting because you know. to recognise your own feelings in someone you hate is to recognise that they are CAPABLE of feeling that. and then what does it say about you. hmmmmm.
No one is looking at him. Everyone is looking at Seokmin. normally that would anger mingyu but in the context!!! aaaaaah!!!
He was a pretty crier. Maybe things would have turned out differently inside of Seokmin if he hadn’t let his own indecisiveness and his own endless fears poison all his kind and gentle parts. Whose fault was that? His? Or his circumstances? JESUS
“Forgive me, noble prince,” Mingyu whispers. He is glad he will not be alive to see Seokmin’s death. “Neither of us are to blame.” WHAT A HORRIBLE WAY TO END. I AM A WRECK. A SHELL OF A MAN.
seokmin hamlet is going to curse me for real... just the whole thing of indecisiveness and uncertainty and carrying the burden of Avenging Your Father when that probably isn't even what you want to be doing and feeling betrayed by literally everyone in your life. oof! and aaaah the seokgyuisms of it all,, the way they're in similar situations and are similar enough to recognise the worst parts of themselves in each other but are also different enough that they can't recognise each other and thus hate each other even more EVEN THOUGH there is a ghost of some scrap of connection that tethered them years before,, perfect as always. how do you get this right literally every time. gaaaaah
Re: [FILL] his will is not his own
tangent but now i'm just thinking about how hamlet feigns madness and how SEOKMIN would have had to feign madness and the whole debate over whether it really is fake because!! one of my favourite little seokmin paradoxes is that he's a brilliant actor but he's also really honest and open in normal life so how much is he faking it? what's real and what isn't?
jeonghan's only a fool for seokmin!!!! i don't know if this was deliberate or not but it just reminded me of seokhan's routine where jeonghan asks seokmin who he's a fool for and seokmin says he's only a fool for jeonghan hyung and!!! the REVERSAL of that!!! the TENDERNESS of it!!! jeonghan horatio is something i never would have considered and now i think i need to lie down
And when he looks at Seokmin, he sees through the ghost of the prince’s act and feels the hatred underneath. GHOSTS!!!!!!!!
And it burns because, despite all of it, Mingyu wants to be looked at kindly. Once they were playmates. Once Seokmin would have cried into his shoulder, would have let Mingyu stroke his hair and say, Don’t cry, be strong, it isn't your fault. Now Mingyu can’t recognize the man before him and is the worse for it. oh my god. ki. i am WOUNDED.
It makes what is out of reach— like the way Seokmin smiles at Jeonghan or how he is able to evade any consequences of his own fucking actions— that much more unbearable. YOU'RE INSANE (affectionate)
ok sorry i'm back here again because WOW what a way to capture what it's like to desire someone - or rather, to want to be desired by someone - while also recognising their shortcomings and also being insanely jealous that they're desired and revered and even LOOKED at. because he wants seokmin to look at him but he also just wants SOMEONE to look at him. fuck!!
The only thing that hasn’t is how he’s been looking at Mingyu in the last few months. Mocking him, seeing through him as if Mingyu is nothing, as if Mingyu’s own pain and grief amount to dust. ahhhhhh. see the grief is really interesting because you know. to recognise your own feelings in someone you hate is to recognise that they are CAPABLE of feeling that. and then what does it say about you. hmmmmm.
No one is looking at him. Everyone is looking at Seokmin. normally that would anger mingyu but in the context!!! aaaaaah!!!
He was a pretty crier. Maybe things would have turned out differently inside of Seokmin if he hadn’t let his own indecisiveness and his own endless fears poison all his kind and gentle parts. Whose fault was that? His? Or his circumstances? JESUS
“Forgive me, noble prince,” Mingyu whispers. He is glad he will not be alive to see Seokmin’s death. “Neither of us are to blame.” WHAT A HORRIBLE WAY TO END. I AM A WRECK. A SHELL OF A MAN.
seokmin hamlet is going to curse me for real... just the whole thing of indecisiveness and uncertainty and carrying the burden of Avenging Your Father when that probably isn't even what you want to be doing and feeling betrayed by literally everyone in your life. oof! and aaaah the seokgyuisms of it all,, the way they're in similar situations and are similar enough to recognise the worst parts of themselves in each other but are also different enough that they can't recognise each other and thus hate each other even more EVEN THOUGH there is a ghost of some scrap of connection that tethered them years before,, perfect as always. how do you get this right literally every time. gaaaaah