HELLO. I just happened to be holding my phone when I heard the outlook notification and thought “I wonder if it’s jess” and IT WAS. The thoughts are rushing out rn so I’m going to capture it as fast as I can.
Thank you for being such a wonderful reader (and writer)! You’ve pinpointed the reasons why I’ve set up the fic this way ;____; I wanted to write something short before the flame of inspiration burned out, so I wanted the structure of the fic, and the comparison between the cs/js to set up the irony, and thereby the agony within jeonghan’s circumstances. This was a story that I probably spent thrice as much time thinking compared to writing. I also reread [the dust of our years] over and over again, scouring for the details, looking for the gaps where another story could fit. I wanted to be faithful to /your/ jihancheol, and most especially /your/ jeonghan (although in the scheme of things we both come back to his empathetic clarity and martyr tendencies!)
Right after reading, I knew the points I wanted to hit:
It was going to be a Jeonghan POV — reading your fill, I kept wondering about Jeonghan’s feelings, towards Seungcheol, towards Jisoo. Knowing that Jisoo loved Seungcheol, that he himself was loved by Seungcheol, yet choosing to take himself out of that equation.
It was going to take place before the war — the working title was [best laid plans], and I wanted Jeonghan’s schemes to be subverted. He’s famous for being a mastermind, but I’m always obsessed with the jihan dynamic of how jisoo is the one person that defeats jeonghan’s expectations. How every other sebong is a jeonghan simp but jeonghan would simp /for/ jisoo.
Funnily enough the profiles of wonwoo/soonyoung/junhui I wrote first because I’ve just been thinking /so much/ of fe3hsvt and in writing it didn’t quite fit the parallelisms nicely but I /needed/ to throw it in because it was so fun to think about, the wider universe where they exist (and suffer).
In writing and thinking, I lead myself into my own devastation:
in your scene where Jeonghan says “I know why you’re still here” — Jeonghan probably carried a lot of bitterness. Loving that Jisoo is by his side, but knowing that Jisoo is only here for Seungcheol. I wondered then, if Jeonghan was self aware that he loved Jisoo, and then going back, if Jeonghan was aware when he taught Jisoo all these things about Seungcheol. And if he was, he must have wanted to set himself on fire!! (I want to set myself on fire). But perhaps how it turned out was, Jeonghan’s heart outrunning his mind. Jisoo loves hearing about Seungcheol, and Jeonghan, buoyed by that effervescent joy, kept indulging him, not knowing that he is digging both their graves until it is too late.
Re Jeonghan and Seungcheol. In Jeonghan’s mind, he thinks Seungcheol loves him because of what Jeonghan does for Seungcheol. He thinks he doesn’t like Seungcheol, and Seungcheol deserves someone who loves him back, and Jisoo loves him back so he does the maths and cancels himself out of the equation and teaches Jisoo how to act like himself. Referring to your canon text, this will not work!! I think Jeonghan reaches a very late realisation that Seungcheol actually likes him for himself, and although that realisation frees him and allows him to love Seungcheol back, it’s too late and they are in the middle of a war and Jeonghan would have felt the guilt of setting Jisoo up and would not have pursued Seungcheol (AHHH). The remix scene where Jeonghan talks to Jisoo about Seungcheol, I think he is alr in love with Seungcheol then, but doesn’t realise it himself because of that assumption from his youth …
Thank you for reading and enjoying!! I love playing in this sandbox with you as well!!
Re: [REMIX] my will across the sky in stars
Thank you for being such a wonderful reader (and writer)! You’ve pinpointed the reasons why I’ve set up the fic this way ;____; I wanted to write something short before the flame of inspiration burned out, so I wanted the structure of the fic, and the comparison between the cs/js to set up the irony, and thereby the agony within jeonghan’s circumstances. This was a story that I probably spent thrice as much time thinking compared to writing. I also reread [the dust of our years] over and over again, scouring for the details, looking for the gaps where another story could fit. I wanted to be faithful to /your/ jihancheol, and most especially /your/ jeonghan (although in the scheme of things we both come back to his empathetic clarity and martyr tendencies!)
Right after reading, I knew the points I wanted to hit:
Funnily enough the profiles of wonwoo/soonyoung/junhui I wrote first because I’ve just been thinking /so much/ of fe3hsvt and in writing it didn’t quite fit the parallelisms nicely but I /needed/ to throw it in because it was so fun to think about, the wider universe where they exist (and suffer).
In writing and thinking, I lead myself into my own devastation:
Thank you for reading and enjoying!! I love playing in this sandbox with you as well!!