infrequencies: (0)
wren ([personal profile] infrequencies) wrote in [community profile] 17hols 2025-01-03 03:07 pm (UTC)

[FILL] answer

Ship/Member: past Wonwoo/Soonyoung; brief Wonwoo/Seungkwan; Wonwoo/Minghao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Post-Breakup, prose
Permission to remix: Please ask

after natalie wee, bandaged and bruised

***

Maybe I love you is a difficult thing to answer to.

Wonwoo was 22 when he had a tooth pulled, nervous and afraid in the dentist chair, head tilted back with the blinding lights glinting off his glasses. Two needles to the gums, a hand on his chin, tools pulling his lips back to expose the molar before the dentist whittled down to the root and pulled. He didn't feel much more than discomfort until he'd arrived home, anxiety spiked through the roof. His body had felt the pain, but the mind hadn't realized it yet.

He turns 27 three days after Soonyoung packs the last box, and the pain breaks through. A decade plus of a life lived. That suture tight pain, the uncomfortable throb in his jaw. Unable to chew on one side, readjusting, reworking, relearning. Extraction is enough for some, but not all.

For the first month, he'd keep forgetting. Biting down where nothing lives. Dialing a number to call, and turning his phone over.

He's walking through life, but no one knows. Who would care that a 22 year old had lost a tooth? Wonwoo knows that he certainly wouldn't care past the initial voicing of concern.

Flesh, bone, bruise, ache.

No one thinks to miss a tooth. It's supposed to carry you through life. He doesn't think to miss Soonyoung until the mail stops arriving for a name that isn't his.

Seungkwan had been a promising fresh start, but the scarring had made it difficult to heal.

Do you still love him? A question no one wants to ask, and a question Wonwoo doesn't want to answer. Breakthrough bleeding, a wrong name sighed. You dream about him when you're sleeping next to me. Undeserved cruelty.

The dentist sighs. You have to take care of the wound. The soreness won't fade if you won't tend to it. I'm trying, he says, but the swelling doesn't go down. The antibiotics clear the infection, but the bone—

Have you ever missed someone long past you were supposed to forget them? What a heavy question for a first date. Across the table, Minghao turns the words over. His fingertips dance at the base of the wine glass.

Yes.

And do you miss them even now?

Minghao hums. Of course.

How do you move past it?

You don't. There will always be a scar.

After the second date, Wonwoo runs the tip of his tongue over the gum. Old habits.

The site isn't swollen anymore.

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