2025 Round: Quotes

[hwarium]

Status: Open Prompting is currently open. Prompting is open from 28 December 2024 to 19 January 2025. Seventeen Holidays 2025 Round: Quotes About "the poem begins not where the knife enters, but where the blade twists" "beauty is terror" "you'll just have to taste me, when he's kissing you" Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy a hit tweet. 🛑 HOLD UP If this is your first time on 17hols please check out our About Page which has helpful information about dreamwidth and HTML. We are a prompting fest where all the action happens in the comment section. Rules Sign up is not required. Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too! There is no maximum cap. Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest). NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview. How it works Prompting Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post; Change the subject; Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want! Need ideas? Check out our 2021 and 2022 Quote rounds. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Do Not Wants:</strong> None <strong>Prompt:</strong> <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote> Filling Reply to the original prompt; You must change the subject to [FILL] - this is to help the mods track. Feel free to add a title Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text. You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** Remixing Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above; Change the subject to [REMIX]. Art/media Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.) Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it! Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead. (To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want) <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a> Note! On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it. Navigation ABOUT FAQ TWITTER BAITS ✧ 2025 ROUND: QUOTES ✧ 2025 FILLS MASTERLIST ARCHIVE: 2021 ARCHIVE: 2022 ARCHIVE: 2023 NOTION DATABASE

Comments

Re: [FILL] 보고 싶다, 이렇게 말하니까 더 보고 싶다

[seokmin_liker]

i cannot believe you would do this to meeee. first of all, spring day lyric as the title? why do you want to hurt me? secondly i love the dynamic in this. your seungcheol, as ever, is sooo seungcheol ("Seungcheol doesn't mean to whine, but he does" - exactly!!!) and i love how seokmin is equal parts playful and desperate and earnest. i don't know how to describe this but you're always so good at conveying a Vibe, an Atmosphere, and it's top-notch. thank you for this i will spin it in my mind like a rotisserie chicken

aftershock

[firstresponders]

Ship/Member: Any, a Wonwoo or Joshua ship would be nice
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: character study, losing a pre-existing relationship to unrequited love
Do Not Wants: explicit NSFW – implied/non-explicit is fine

Prompt:

I'll quiet down, if it's what you want
I understand I'm not the only one
For you
So tell me what you're looking for
Is it a picture-perfect girl
For you?

I'm here regardless of the pain
Don't ever tell me to go away
From you
When we're old and have to leave the Earth
I'll still remember all I've learned
From you

'I Know You'– Faye Webster

Tell you how I felt
Sugar coated melting in your mouth
Pardon my emotions
I should probably keep it all to myself
Know you'd make fun of me

'Bags' – Clairo

Re: [FILL] i wouldn't ask you

[lachrymosy]

new wwjn from you? in 2025??? I love how you write Jun... just every moment striking the perfect note that I can so easily hear in his voice. I love how you convey the dynamics of their relationship too, the communication gaps and failures alongside the genuine affection... so good always <3 As expected, literary genius!

i love you i want us both to eat well

[kumquat]

Ship/Member: any, but consider mingyu
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: chef au? or cooking for a loved one in general
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I'm asked a lot what the best thing about cooking for a living is. And it's this: to be a part of a subculture. To be part of a historical continuum, a secret society with its own language and customs. To enjoy the instant gratification of making something good with one's hands—using all one's senses. It can be, at times, the purest and most unselfish way of giving pleasure (though oral sex has to be a close second).

Anthony Bourdain

Re: [REMIX] like it like it

[m1ntea]

WONWOO FROM IT!!!!!!!!!!! the lovesick look on jeonghan's face!!!!! you captured both of them so perfectly i am SCREAMING!!!!!!!!!

Re: [FILL] pink pony boi

[kumquat]

aw thanks for looking at them ^_^

Re: [FILL] an almost palpable ache

[kumquat]

omg risa you’re really too kind to me T__T i feel like it’s obvious i haven’t written in years but i wanted to play in the space with everybody… also u witnessed firsthand my dark descent back into jclism and had to put up with all my yapping LMAO. i think the extra fun thing about girls jc is, of course, the COMPHET!! if they were all guys in this situation yjh would have been meaner about it, or the feelings would have been less sublimated, but i wanted to write it in a way where it takes her years to even acknowledge that it hurts, let alone begin to do something about it. thank u for reading and commenting… i always admire and learn so much from u….. and thank u for making this all possible for us!! (finally writing this during my flower blooming walk while i wait for the planting cooldown to reset lmao)

Re: [FILL] i can't get you off my mind (i can't get you off in general)

[cheapdates]

HAhaHa hEehee. thank you for always writing things that make me feel crazy. this premise is so interesting and i would eat up 200k words more. there's so much dark humor in here (and considering doing horrible things to mingyu has kinda been my own MO through this... lol. lmao, even.) but also so much personality. i always admire the richness and depth you're able to give a fic in such a relatively small word count. it's something i've been especially trying to work on improving in my own writing with these fills.

blessed to have baited inspired you with this prompt. so good.

[hyojungss]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

The things I want
Have always been in my hands
/
Even if I try to hide it
You’re calling me, calling me back

-- Calling Me Back, IRENE

[hyojungss]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

But I remember sentimental
Sleepless nights, I set the table
And just waited
All along, I would have given
Every song I've ever written
Just to spend one day with you

-- In The Living Room, Maggie Rogers

[hyojungss]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

justsomeguycore
Nov 9, 2024
the front seat of the car is a type of confessional

justsomeguycore
Nov 9, 2024
i genuinely think that physically it’s easier to have hard conversations when you’re both facing forward, not having to look at each other. the catholic church knew this also

&

tordenvejr
Jul 23, 2023
both worship and condemnation erase the possibility of truly seeing someone

[FILL] leave a light on

[cheapdates]

Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Mingyu
Major Tags: Major Character Death, sexual content
Additional Tags: unhappy ending, pain
Permission to remix: Yes

apologies to mingyu for being targeted in literally every fill i've written so far.

***

The apartment is quiet and dark when Wonwoo gets home, the low hum of the ice machine the only sound that greets him. He flicks on the light, revealing the usual mess: Mingyu’s shoes kicked off haphazardly, his jackets draped over the entryway bench. Wonwoo sighs, toeing off his boots and sliding into his house slippers. As he loosens his tie, he moves into the living room, tossing his bag onto the couch before glancing at the clock.

Mingyu is late, but that’s nothing new. He’s always overcommitting, always stuck at the office or caught up helping someone with something.

“I’ll make it up to you later, I promise,” he always says with that boyish, irresistible grin. And every time, Wonwoo folds.

Wonwoo isn’t much of a drinker, but tonight feels like an exception. He’s never taken the time to learn about vintages or blends and so the wine rack in the kitchen is exclusively stocked with Mingyu’s favorites. He grabs a bottle at random without bothering to check the label, the cork popping with an easy twist of his wrist.

Two glasses sit waiting on the counter, and he fills them both, the dark liquid swirling as he carries them to the living room. The coffee table is cluttered, his books and Mingyu’s sketch pads surrounding a half-finished architectural model Mingyu’s been working on. Wonwoo sets a glass down on either side of it before sinking into the couch with a sigh.

He sips his wine, scrolling aimlessly on his phone. As the night stretches on, a sliver of worry begins to creep in, but he brushes it off, picturing Mingyu rushing through the door at any moment, apologizing profusely, as if he doesn’t already know Wonwoo’s a pushover when it comes to him.

When the door finally does click open, Wonwoo doesn’t look up right away, eyes flicking to the battery symbol on his phone screen. 9%. “Took you long enough,” he grumbles.

“Sorry! I’ve been dying to get home,” Mingyu replies, smooth as ever. “Difficult client.”

Wonwoo glances up, and there he is—leaning in the doorway, sleeves rolled to his elbows, hair perfectly tousled, his dress shirt untucked and just the right amount of rumpled. Typical Kim Mingyu, looking like he stepped out of a fashion spread without trying.

“You could’ve texted,” Wonwoo says, trying for irritation but falling short.

“And ruin the suspense?” Mingyu grins as he steps into the room. “Never.”

Wonwoo rolls his eyes but can’t stop the warmth that spreads through his chest at the sight of him. “You’re annoying.”

“And you love me,” Mingyu counters, dropping onto the couch beside him. He reaches for the glass of wine set out for him but pauses, his gaze shifting to Wonwoo’s empty one instead. “Long day?”

Wonwoo exhales, sinking deeper into the cushions. “Better now.”

Without a word, Mingyu drapes an arm around his shoulders and pulls him closer. Wonwoo leans into him, breathing in the familiar scent of cedar and leather.

“You always smell so good,” Wonwoo murmurs into Mingyu’s shirt.

Mingyu chuckles. “You picked this cologne.”

“I know.” Wonwoo laughs softly, but it falters when Mingyu shifts, pulling back just enough for their eyes to meet. There’s something in Mingyu’s gaze—an emotion that’s just a little too intense—and, for a moment, neither of them speaks.

“You’re staring,” Mingyu finally says, lips curving into a smirk.

“Can’t help it,” Wonwoo admits quietly. “You’re…” His words trail off as he reaches for Mingyu’s hand, his fingers tracing the familiar ridges of his knuckles. A frown creases his brow. “You’re cold.”

Mingyu hums, leaning in until their foreheads touch. “Then warm me up.”

Wonwoo doesn’t need to be told twice. He cups Mingyu’s face, drawing him into a kiss that starts soft but deepens quickly. Mingyu pulls him closer, guiding him into his lap until their bodies press together.

“Missed you,” Wonwoo breathes against Mingyu’s lips, his hands sliding under Mingyu’s shirt to feel the bare skin beneath. “Hate when you’re not here.”

“Well, I’m here now,” Mingyu whispers, his voice soothing. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Mingyu shifts them gently, lowering Wonwoo down until his back meets the couch cushions. He pushes Wonwoo’s shirt up his torso, his lips traveling from Wonwoo’s mouth to his jaw, down the line of his throat. He lingers at the places where he knows Wonwoo is most sensitive, and sure enough, Wonwoo’s body trembles, his fingers tightening reflexively on Mingyu’s biceps.

“You’re so easy to fluster,” Mingyu murmurs, his voice low and fond, lips brushing against Wonwoo’s collarbone.

“Shut up,” Wonwoo mutters weakly, his body betraying him with a sharp intake of breath as Mingyu’s teeth scrape against his skin.

Mingyu grins, that devastating, cocky grin, and leans back just enough to take off his shirt. “Just relax, hyung. Let me take care of you, yeah?”

Wonwoo tries his best to obey but how can he relax when he feels like he’s drowning? How can he let Mingyu take care of him when—

Mingyu kisses him again, cutting off his spiraling thoughts, before sliding lower. With steady hands, he undoes Wonwoo’s belt, knuckles brushing against the bare sliver of skin above his waistband. Every touch sends sparks racing along Wonwoo’s nerves, whiting out his brain, and when Mingyu tugs his pants down and presses his mouth to the fabric of Wonwoo’s briefs, it’s enough to leave him gasping.

“Mingyu—” Wonwoo chokes out his name, broken and pleading.

Mingyu pauses, the playfulness slipping from his expression as he looks up. One hand lingers at Wonwoo’s waist, thumb gently circling the sharp jut of his hip, while the other reaches to brush a tear from Wonwoo’s cheek—a tear he didn’t even realize had fallen.

“Wonwoo-yah...” Mingyu says softly, his voice so gentle it hurts.

“Don’t,” Wonwoo snaps, though he regrets it immediately. He pushes his glasses up and wipes at his eyes. “I’m sorry. I—”

“I know,” Mingyu interrupts, leaning back down to press a kiss to the sensitive skin of Wonwoo’s inner thigh. “It’s okay. I know.”

Wonwoo exhales shakily, his fingers threading through Mingyu’s hair, his body arching helplessly towards him.

"Please," he breathes. “Please, Min. I just…I need you.”

Mingyu doesn’t make him wait. He tugs Wonwoo’s briefs aside and takes him into his mouth, starting slow. He maps the shape of Wonwoo with his tongue, coaxing out groans and desperate shudders of pleasure with ease. It’s an intensity born of familiarity. Mingyu knows exactly where to linger, where to press just a little harder, where to ease off.

The pressure builds steadily, tension coiling tighter and tighter in Wonwoo’s middle until it feels like it might turn him inside out. He’s fighting it, though he doesn’t know why, his fingers clutching at Mingyu’s shoulders, at the cushions beneath him, at his own thighs…anywhere he can find purchase. But it’s a war he can’t win. It feels too good, his body too desperate for release.

When Wonwoo finally comes apart, it's with a choked cry, his whole body trembling as he spills over Mingyu’s fist. The aftershocks leave him breathless and wrecked, his vision blurred and his thoughts scattered.

For a moment, all Wonwoo can hear is the sound of his own ragged breathing. He feels warm and boneless in the most deliciously satisfying way, and he smiles faintly, blissful exhaustion tugging at the edges of his consciousness. But then his gaze sharpens as it drifts to the coffee table, and something twists deep in his stomach. He sits up so fast his head spins.

The glass of wine he poured hours ago still sits untouched, waiting for hands that never reached for it. The sketch pads, filled with Mingyu’s detailed drawings, lie beneath layers of dust, their edges curling. The miniature architectural model sits forgotten, its tiny details left unfinished. 

A cold chill spreads through Wonwoo’s chest, hollowing out the heat of moments ago. His hand, resting on his thigh, feels slick and tacky, but he can’t bring himself to look down at it.

Still, the truth sinks in. Slowly. Cruelly.

He glances sideways at Mingyu, who’s still there beside him, watching him with those familiar deep brown eyes. But something is wrong. Something that makes Wonwoo’s heart stutter.

His hand shakes as he reaches out to touch Mingyu’s cheek, desperate to feel the warmth of his skin. But his fingers pass through empty space, meeting nothing but air.

Mingyu isn’t there.

He hasn’t been there for a long time.

Wonwoo’s pulse quickens as he pulls his hand back, his chest tightening with panic. The cedar and leather scent lingering in the air is real, but it isn’t Mingyu’s anymore. It’s his. It’s the cologne he puts on every morning, desperately clinging to a memory he can’t let go of. Someone who left him too soon.

He closes his eyes, leaning back against the couch as a tear slips down his cheek. He wipes it away absently, his gaze drifting back to the empty space beside him.

Mingyu isn’t coming home.

He won’t walk through the door again. Won’t wrap Wonwoo in his arms, apologizing in that low, raspy voice. Won’t flash that stupid, cocky grin that always disarmed him in seconds.

Wonwoo knows this. Has known it for months.

But waiting is all he has left. Irrational, hopeless, unhealthy—it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t know how to stop.

Before heading to bed, he pours the untouched glass of wine down the sink. He adjusts the boiler temperature, turns off all the lights one by one, his fingers lingering on the switch for the entryway light.

He decides to leave it on tonight.

Just in case.

Mingyu is always running late, after all.

ao3

Re: [FILL] somewhere beautiful

[tenderlyache]

thank you so much bagel!! i wanted to show the intimacy & love in their relationship, even if they don't outwardly address the Issues / elephant in the room. you picked out some of my favorite lines, so i'm so glad they resonated with you. thank you for reading ♡♡♡

Re: [FILL] somewhere beautiful

[tenderlyache]

my heart is soft for them too ;___; thank you so much for reading & commenting!! i'm so glad you liked it ♡♡

[REMIX] easy touches

[kkulecru]

Ship/Member: Mingyu/Jeonghan
Major Tags: toxic relationships
Additional Tags: references to nsfw activities, incls what are probably undernegotiated bdsm dynamics
Permission to remix: Yes

***
It started out as a throwaway fling, in his mind. One part of a larger week of fun, before he went back to more serious affairs.

But then, right after the first night, when he stirred in still-warm sheets to the smell of something deliciously savoury wafting through the air, well. He wasn’t feeling fond, per se, but perhaps he changed his mind in that moment—wanted to see how long he could make it last.

(He was sorely tempted to say he didn’t eat meat in the morning, actually, just to see how his face might drop. But he decided to keep the claws sheathed a little longer—all for the sake of the game.)

*

He finds himself being mercurial, these days—is conscious of how fickle he wants to be, without restraint—and can he really be blamed when Mingyu just makes it so easy for him to do whatever he likes?

One night in bed he’ll feel sharp-edged enough to rake his nails down Mingyu’s back, leave tangled strings of red on his very willing canvas (there are very few places where he’ll accept the same in return, if he’s in the mood). He’s always so eager to be good, does his best to stay still if he’s asked, even when it’s Jeonghan methodically rocking his way to an easy completion while Mingyu is left a squirming raw nerve beneath him.

Sometimes he feels contrary enough to let Mingyu gently take the reins some nights, and—if he’s feeling prickly enough, already done with vapid exchanges at work and now faced with the sandpaper-rasp of guileless eyes and warm hands—he might stop them halfway in disgust, perching on the other side of the bed and telling Mingyu to finish by himself. Sometimes he stays there, sometimes he goes into the bathroom, but he still does it obediently—is still clearly hard, even when his eyes glitter with wet shame—so Jeonghan knows he still enjoys it.

And, sometimes, most rarely—he will truly crave just a bit of that easy, bottomless warmth and love, and not feel the need to twist it around and see how far it can be pushed that night. Something reminiscent of that first time, when he began to be invested in the game.

He’ll decide to finally relax into it and see the way Mingyu blooms under the additional warmth he shows in return, and he’ll be fascinated. Reassured, even. And he hates it, but he can’t get enough of it.


He’s heard about how simple it is to have a dog as a pet, if one is after easy affection; they’re always happy to see you come home after work, usually waiting at the door, always eager to express their love with relatively little strings attached. And their hearts are large enough to share it freely, with everyone they meet.

He hates that, too—he wants to be the only thing in Mingyu’s heart, even as he wants to ruin it so it can’t include anyone else.

And so he gives Mingyu the choice of low-lying self-consciousness in public, or conspicuous turtlenecks in summer.

He presses him down on the bed and snaps at him not to touch him like a good toy and maybe lets him rut out his pleasure with a reluctant sigh.

He keeps pushing and pulling because he can’t help but wonder how far Mingyu can bend until he finally breaks. The answer, so far, is quite far indeed. And maybe he doesn’t want to see the game end just yet, begins to remember the signs of the faultlines before they begin to truly crack through. But without it, the easy and familiar becomes so boring.

Playing nice with Mingyu for too long makes him bored, and he hates being bored.

my body is home

[infrequencies]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

mockiatoh

You can’t deserve a person’s love. You’ll drive yourself crazy thinking like that. They either love you, or they don’t. That doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough for them to love you, because love isn’t something you earn by being good enough. It isn’t something that can be quantified or doled out. Don’t blame yourself for not being loved how you need to, just teach yourself how to look for love where love lives.

mockiatoh

This isn’t just about romantic love, or even skewed towards romantic love, although it does apply there too. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to accept is that my mother simply wasn’t someone who was capable of loving me, and there is no version of me that I could have ever been that would have earned that love. But with acceptance came healing. I was able to love myself more instead of resenting myself for not being more than any one person could be.

mockiatoh

Are you listening? Even love for yourself isn’t earned. It is a kindness you give yourself.

Re: [REMIX] easy touches

[cheapdates]

wow this is INCREDIBLE. like it captures so much of how i saw Jeonghan in this arrangement. the fickleness warring with the possessiveness. the 'i don't know if i want you, but i know i don't anyone else to have you.' the way he kinda sorta acknowledges that he does feel things but also hates it. the game of it all, the way he toys with Mingyu. it's so SAD how clearly down bad mingyu is, willing to take it all and keep coming back for more. oof. seriously this was so great ahhh ty for remixing!!!

17hols, or as i like to call it: get rekt kim mingyu.

Re: [FILL] an almost palpable ache

[kumquat]

thank YOU for all your delicious prompts, i wrote this in a frenzy between like 4-8 am after checking the prompt list in the middle of the night and immediately becoming possessed. originally i was going to give csc some nameless rando boyfriend but then i remembered MINGYU from the snippets of girls jc you posted and the gears began turning… he’s such a great foil for both of them i think you’re so smart for that. like he's rly there for jcl to torture each other with. (well maybe they can all have fun together too)

and… yeah… i originally wanted to make it more obvious that csc had/has feelings for yjh and was/is hurt by her avoidance, but i couldn't rly find a good way to write it in. but on the other hand it could also make sense that yjh doesn't let herself entertain this possibility at all even subconsciously, bc it's easier to believe that csc is perfectly happy and in love with kmg instead of also regretful over what could have been :_(

i think you're a saint

[infrequencies]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: MCD

Prompt:

I know it's chemicals that make me cling to you
And I need a miracle to get away from you
/
I need a miracle to bring me back to you
I know you're gone now but I still wait for you

undressing

[klav]

Ship/Member: Any, Minghao/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: a negotiation of vulnerability, maybe a supernatural or surreal take (hybrids?)
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

All I want is to finally take off my cowboy hat and show you my jeweled horns. If we slow dance I will ask you not to tug on them but secretly I will want that very much.
–Calling a Wolf a Wolf, Kaveh Akbar


Kaz: I want… you.
Inej: And how will you have me? Gloves on? Fully clothed? And your head turned, so our lips never touch? I will have you without your armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.
–Netflix’s Shadow and Bone

Re: [FILL] an almost palpable ache

[kumquat]

thank u so much for reading and for this incredibly kind comment! i'm so glad you felt baited in so many different ways >:D i love how u worded this, "the moment she could say something to Seungcheol to keep her, is the moment she also realises that she's going to lose her," and your ability to observe and reframe mundane interactions so poetically is one of the things i rly admire about your writing! i'm taking notes bc i am still very much an inexperienced writer so it's cool and instructive to hear how other people reflect my writing back to me.

and yjh really is torturing herself with those last words. basically the only ones i have her say in the entire fic (lol this is also bc i can't write dialogue!!) but i wanted to show that the only condition under which she lets herself say something true is by acting flippant about it, "you are saying it is a joke even though you aren't joking" type beat...

Re: [REMIX] easy touches

[kkulecru]

hehe im so glad. everything ive done to mingyu for 17hols has purely been because of the worms your fills have given me... sorry mingyu

i can water the moon

[firstresponders]

Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Chan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: vaguely idolverse, existential crisis, subtle references to mental illness
Permission to remix: Yes

***

"Hyung. What makes you think you'd be different?"

If it were any other person, Wonwoo would've been offended. Chan hopes he would. But the older man lets it ripple the stillness between them, reverbing softly from where Chan is lying on his lap. Wonwoo's hand tread through his bangs like they're harp strings. It's pleasant. It makes him itch.

Wonwoo hums at him, "I never said I am."

His skin is cold lately. Not from the AC blowing incessantly in the dance studio, but from a deep seated chill underneath. Wonwoo isn't very warm either. It's still warmer than whatever lingers on his skin. It feels good. It scares him that it does.

"Don't you get tired?" he repeats. "I'm not good at staying, hyung. I always have this—" Shift, shake, look away. "—urge to run away. I'm only going to hurt you, hyung. Like I've hurt everyone else that tried. Like I've tried with other people. They want me to stay. To let them stay. I don't know how."

When humans evolved into settlers, they developed the ability to make a shelter out of everything, no matter where they move. It's the nomad in them that never went away. It's a survival instinct. Humans are wired to find a place.

Chan is stuck somewhere before that evolution.

He must be flawed. Whatever program ingrained him with a yearning for perfection makes him ill-equipped to receive affection. It's supposed to be a transaction, isn't it? You do well and do enough and do well enough and be rewarded. The applauses, the awards, the screams, the sold-out stages, the respect and adoration and awe. Sometimes it feels like the future he promised himself flinches when he comes closer. It keeps slipping away.

Chan keeps chasing the unknown feeling. Clawing at the sky, climbing for the stars. When the night sky darkens, where does he go? He doesn't know what to chase anymore. There's a constellation of twelve shining for him to come home, but the feeling of being the odd number grows a root deep in his chest and cracks open a void.

"Why is this so hard?"

Why can't he sit down? Why does he itch for motion and acceleration and speed, to run until the ends of the earth, grind his bones in the wind until he disappears?

"Why is this so easy for you?"

Wonwoo is an enigma. A ghost. He lingers, undeterred by the void that swallows Chan inside out, turning his head into teeth. He knows how many hearts have Chan broken and how many times Chan had tried and got left burned. The irony is that Wonwoo knows how to handle Chan better than Chan knows how to handle himself.

There should be an explanation as to why he's so adamant on staying within the orbit of a planet that wants to rip away.

Wonwoo doesn't act like Chan earns him. When he's pushed away, he draws back. There's an eerie timeliness in how he emerges back when Chan gets better, when Chan could laugh and dances around or argue with Seungkwan or takes hugs from everyone without running away. He teases him nonstop. He agrees with everything Chan says. He lets Chan know that he's wrapped around his finger. It's confusing. It feels safe.

Wonwoo feels safe.

Wonwoo might be the closest to the love that Chan allows himself to have.

"People are tricky, you know? Maybe they don't know how to handle you. Maybe you don't know how to handle them. I do know that you, sometimes, don't even know how to handle your own thoughts," he muses.

"I know. I'm too confusing even for myself." Chan averts his gaze to the flickering light above them. "I don't get how you do all this, hyung. Sometimes I don't even feel like I'm... me. But you keep coming for me and I don't—" He briefly forgets whether he has been breathing through the whole conversation. "I don't know why you keep coming back. I don't deserve this. All of this... whatever it is you keep wanting me to have."

Being the youngest has sometimes left Chan aching to do more. To be more. He pokes, prods, tests their patience a lot, stretches their limits.

But maybe deep inside all he wants to know is whether they're really going to stay.

It's almost shameful, really, his near-constant need for certainty. He always hungers for it. It's a terrifying craving to have in a world where everything changes and nobody is ever guaranteed to stay, not even the self he wants to be.

What makes Wonwoo think he's any different?

For starters, "You talk a lot about yourself in transactional terms, Chan-ah."

He reads Chan well, but doesn't act like he does. He doesn't show a lot of his emotions, but somehow it's all presented in a glass box whenever Chan so much glances at him.

"I believe everyone has a place among others. And it's not something they have to buy for themselves," He links their hands together. Chan lets him. "I may be a bit naive, but stay with me. I personally think," He squeezes their hands. "That your constant itch to run away comes from you thinking love should be something you receive when you think you deserve it. But it's not. Everyone here loves you, whether it's in the way they know or you want, or even a huge mess where it clashes and you hate it, but you also don't."

Wonwoo's hand wraps around Chan's. It's grounding. It's...

For once, he just wants to feel happiness without a shadow creeping behind it.

"I know," he tries to convince himself. "I know that, hyung."

When he looks at Wonwoo, the stars have shone upon his eyes. There's something in Wonwoo's smile that makes the knots in his chest loosen, and suddenly there's oxygen in his lungs again.

"And even if you think you'll never be ready for it, that's fine too. You're still meant for love even if you don't feel like it."

"How do you know?"

Wonwoo's next words are muffled onto Chan's neck, his figure a barrier protecting him from the outside world and himself.

"I just decide that you do."

Re: [FILL] lines

[gyucassu]

thank you so much, this means a lot coming from you TT____TT also what an amazing prompt though. i still think about it to this day HAHAHAHA

[FILL] liquid sunshine, moonlight vapor

[gyucassu]

Ship/Member: Mingyu/Wonwoo
Major Tags: toxic situationship, tw: mentions of abuse, underage drinking, tw: mentions of physical violence, tw: implied homophobia
Additional Tags: us against the world, kinda unrequited love, ambiguous ending, idk man this kinda fucked me up and made me sad HAHAHAHA
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Wonwoo doesn’t know how to love him yet.

Mingyu gets it. He swears he does; that this – what he feels for Wonwoo – isn’t just bred from naivete and baseless infatuation. Mingyu understands, at least in his twenty-year-old mind, what it means to love someone fully and unconditionally.

*

And yes, maybe how they met was problematic, in a sense that underage drinking is a societal problem and also a standard rite of passage to feel like they belong somewhere. Mingyu didn’t really have that problem, you see. He is, as Seokmin calls it, liquid sunshine. Anywhere he’s been, he can settle into the nooks and crannies and fill what isn’t there, make it whole. It’s why he was invited to that party that night as the new kid on the soccer team. It’s why he showed up and immediately had a beer in his hand and a pre-lit cigarette stained with Lisa’s pink lipstick that he declined almost instantly.

And somehow, in the midst of the chaos of basement parties and jocks, Mingyu found him.

The boy, standing in the corner, with his back flat against the wall, illuminated by a cigarette dangling loosely from his lips while he stares blankly out the window.

“Hi,” Mingyu said breathlessly.

Wonwoo blinks and turns to look at him. “Hi,” he replied unsurely. Mingyu didn’t understand at the time that Wonwoo’s walls were always going to be there for him to climb. For him to scale and get over, only to be met with more. For him to try and destroy, only for Wonwoo to rebuild higher and stronger than before.

“Hyung, we gotta go,” a voice said, interrupting what Mingyu could only perceive as a ‘moment’ between them. Wonwoo sighed and put out the cigarette with the toe of his boot.

“Wait!” Mingyu yelped, reaching to grab Wonwoo’s leather jacket.

Wonwoo stared down at Mingyu’s fingers clasping his sleeve. He looked back up at Mingyu, squinting in the dark behind his wire-rimmed glasses. Mingyu noticed his ears flush red.

God, he’s cute, Mingyu thought. He will continue to think this several times, how red suits Wonwoo when his cheeks are warm in the cold, or when Wonwoo’s lips swell from Mingyu’s mouth. God, Mingyu loves when Wonwoo is red cause of him.

Mingyu loves when Wonwoo is anything.

“Have a drink with me, uhm…?” When Wonwoo waited for Mingyu to finish his sentence, Mingyu chuckled off the awkwardness. “Your name. Sorry. I’m Mingyu.”

“Wonwoo.” He paused for a moment, before turning to look at his friend who was shooting daggers at Mingyu with his narrowed gaze. “Channie, I’ll see you later, okay? I’ll catch another ride home.”

The other kid – Chan, Mingyu eventually learned – shook his head. “Are you sure? You know Jihoon’s going to be pissed.”

Wonwoo grinned wryly. “I’ve been through worse.”

For some reason, that doesn’t make Chan walk away. Mingyu eventually learns why. Instead, Chan pulls Wonwoo’s wrist. “Hyung. We’re leaving.”

Wonwoo turned to look at Mingyu apologetically, before looking at the beer in Mingyu’s hand. Wonwoo’s fingers brushed against Mingyu’s when he took the drink and downed the beer in seconds, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and slipping the cup back between Mingyu’s palms. He grinned slightly. “Guess I owe you one,” he said, voice rough and deep. It tickled the back of Mingyu’s spine, the shiver quickly traveling all the way up to the hairs on the back of his neck.

“Guess you do,” Mingyu repeated, a faint smile on his lips. Wonwoo nods.

“Bye, Mingyu.”

*

Seokmin doesn’t hesitate to tell Mingyu he’s a bit of an idiot.

That falling in love that quick isn’t real, that it’s just hormones or pheromones or whatever new term Seokmin learned in his psychology class that week.

Mingyu brushes him off.

He knows how he feels. He knows this kind of love isn’t going to come around twice.

*

They first kiss in a dark alleyway near the bus stop.

(Later on, when Wonwoo’s having a bad day, he’ll attribute the feelings of electricity between them as the thrill of getting caught or the novelty of being each other’s first kiss with a man. Mingyu knows Wonwoo’s just hurting. He doesn’t mean it. Not really.)

Despite the nearly freezing temperatures, Wonwoo’s lips feel like fire. His hands, calloused and big, flatten against Mingyu’s back to press him closer. Mingyu wraps his varsity jacket around them like a cocoon, pressing his forehead against Wonwoo’s.

His kisses always taste salty.

*

Chan doesn’t tell him much. But Mingyu can see it in his eyes – the disapproval. The skepticism.

All he says is, “If you love Wonwoo as much as you say you do, give him space. Give him time.”

Mingyu replies, voice calm despite the horrendous pounding of his heart in his ears, “For Wonwoo-hyung, I have all the time in the world.”

*

The first time he sees the cracks in Wonwoo’s facade, it takes everything in Mingyu not to break down into frantic tears.

Mingyu’s hands shake when his fingers trace the blooming bruise on Wonwoo’s jaw. Hues of dark purple and blue ruin Wonwoo’s porcelain white skin. Wonwoo tries to push him away, hissing when his shoulder makes contact with Mingyu’s chest, his lower lip splitting open again when he grimaces.

Mingyu wants to scream. He wants to beg. Tell me who did it, love, please, and I’ll make sure they never see the light of day again. Tell me who did it and I’ll make sure all your days are sunny from here on out.

Tell me, so you can learn how to love me.

“Go home, Mingyu,” Wonwoo threatens again, his voice trembling. “Go home, or I’ll never fucking see you again. I fucking swear to God, Kim Mingyu, if you don’t leave, I will kill you myself –”

Mingyu lets Wonwoo’s fists pound his chest. It doesn’t hurt. It never hurts when it’s Wonwoo.

“Just – fucking – go –”

Wonwoo’s wretched sobs echo into the night.

Mingyu comes home and tosses his shirt, stained with blood and tears, into the hamper.

*

“This is my,” Wonwoo clears his throat, “friend. Kim Mingyu.”

Mingyu knows Wonwoo’s parents don’t believe him. Why would Wonwoo invite a friend over for Chuseok anyway?

The dinner is filled with fake pleasantries and surface-level conversation. Mingyu walks into Wonwoo’s home, a house of mirrors, each reflection seemingly more distorted than the last. Yet somehow, with every turn, Wonwoo’s reflection becomes clearer and clearer in his mind.

Mingyu didn’t think his heart was capable of expanding any more for Wonwoo, but it does.

Wonwoo’s pinky finds Mingyu’s when they sit next to each other on the floor.

When Mingyu excuses himself to smoke a cigarette he doesn’t touch, Wonwoo follows him. Mingyu holds Wonwoo’s cigarette in the dark so Wonwoo doesn’t reek, and he allows himself ghosts of touches against Wonwoo’s lips when Wonwoo takes a drag and exhales the bullshit into the dark.

They sneak off to buy bottles of soju from the convenience store.

Wonwoo drinks more than he’s supposed to.

When Wonwoo’s lips slide over Mingyu’s cock, hours later, Mingyu thinks he did it on purpose.

Mingyu takes whatever he’ll get from Wonwoo.

*

Mingyu has bad days, too.

Mingyu has days when he thinks that Wonwoo is just that – smoke and mirrors. A beautiful face covering the cruelty underneath.

What if Mingyu belonged everywhere, except with Wonwoo?

*

He gets his answer when Wonwoo sneaks through his bedroom window.

Mingyu watches Wonwoo peel off his shirt. The moon kisses the fading scars on Wonwoo’s back, and the shadows caress Wonwoo’s cheeks as he moves to climb on top of Mingyu.

Wonwoo – so beautiful, even with tears flowing down his cheeks, even when his cold fingers make Mingyu shiver when they cup his face.

Mingyu brushes back Wonwoo’s hair, careful to avoid the new cut on his eyebrow.

“Wait for me,” Wonwoo murmurs against his lips. “Please. Don’t go.”

“I won’t let you down.” Mingyu kisses the promise to Wonwoo’s lips, down his neck, and along every scar on his back.

He cocoons around Wonwoo in the dark.

*

When he wakes up, Wonwoo is gone.

Mingyu gets it. He swears he does, he thinks as he thickly swallows the lump in his throat.

Where else does he belong, if not with Wonwoo?