Ship/Member: Seungcheol/Joshua, Jeonghan/Joshua, pre-Seungcheol/Jeonghan/Joshua Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: Shadow and Bone AU, unhealthy and complicated relationships Permission to remix: Please ask
op this is time I do something for you after all the delicious meals you've put on my table. sorry I am a year late, and then some. best believe I did a bit of sleuthing to make sure the casting I had in mind is also what you would enjoy (and it was! so. I do hope you enjoy) <3
//
“My love,” the night whispers.
Joshua calls light to him and disperses the dark he’s been plunged into. He raises his hand. A smile greets him, then a pair of eyes so deep they may as well be chasms.
“Where are you now?" The question is steeped in palpable concern. "You are growing thinner by the day. Please, return to Os Alta at first light.”
The shadows retreat into their respective corners and Joshua begins to make out familiar shapes: shiny, granite floor; rows of bookshelves and the accompanying scent of parchment swirling in the air; bedposts made of the oak trees from the southern border forest. Those delicate satin sheets, Joshua’s face had been pressed into them. They forever hold the secrets his body divulged under this monster’s touch.
“Come back to me, to our life together. I want it, you know. A life with you.”
He spits on the floor, next to the Darkling’s bare feet. “You only want what I have.”
“Darling, you are the Sun Summoner. Everyone wants what you have,” the Darkling replies coolly. His dark night robe billows behind him, despite the absence of the wind. “But not everyone wants you, and oh, how it torments me that I do.”
It is worse, Joshua thinks, to recognise the sincerity in his admission. He loathes his heart. Even now, it hopes for the impossible: a kind touch untainted by manipulation.
“He doesn’t understand us, your tracker boy.”
Joshua regains his wits at the irreverent mention of Seungcheol. He grits his teeth. “There is no us for him to understand.”
“Like calls to like.” He does not need the reminder, not when being here is already one. Neither one planned these visits into the other person’s dreams, but the Saints keep dragging them back, over and over again. “Being with me makes you stronger—this you cannot deny. He still shrinks away from your power.”
He glares at the Darkling and holds back his tongue. More often than not, silence propels him faster to the end of these visits, as though its progression is determined by the quality of their exchange.
“Come back to me. If you have to bring him, so be it. I can help him understand,” the Darkling says, voice soothing and soporific. Joshua inhales sharply when he kills what distance remains between them, standing so close his breath fans over Joshua’s skin. “How light shines the brightest in the dark.”
“Go to hell,” Joshua spits venomously.
“Ah, the young are so stubborn. And so lovely.”
He touches Joshua’s brow, a gentle caress. Joshua jerks away. They’ve never touched. Not in here—they’ve never been able to. What does this mean? Has their connection grown stronger?
“I’m afraid this is where we have to say goodbye,” he says, smiling at Joshua’s repulsion. “I have a feeling we’ll see each other again very soon, and not in a dream.”
“Pray the day never comes, for it will be your last.”
The Darkling chuckles. “Then grant me one wish, bright one. Call my name before you use the Cut on me.”
His name? Joshua wonders. The Darkling reads the question from his countenance and presses the answer to his lips. Joshua closes his eyes, an old habit that refuses to die.
//
He startles awake in the tent he had fallen asleep in the night before, Seungcheol’s jacket covering his figure. The Sun hangs low on the horizon, courtesy of a shy, slow morning. Seungcheol is up—he seems to have been up for hours—and working on his third snare.
“Another one?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder.
“Yes.” Joshua sits up and rubs away the nightmare from his face. “Nothing new.”
“Something new,” Seungcheol corrects. “Who is Jeonghan?”
Abandoning his work, Seungcheol turns to him. The gaze he fixes on Joshua is penetrating. Intrusive. A word Joshua never once associated with Seungcheol before Jeonghan—no, the Darkling—came around.
“You called his name in your sleep.”
He licks his lips, swallowing the remnants of the Darkling’s farewell. “No one.”
“You were calling for him.”
“I think you’re mistaken.”
“You never call for me.” If Seungcheol presses any harder, his words will leave a bruise on Joshua’s soul. “Is it because I’m always here or because I’m the choice that was made for you?”
It takes him by surprise. Not the question, but the hurt lurking underneath. “Cheol-ah,” Joshua whispers.
Seungcheol closes his eyes, black lashes a contrast against the purplish backdrop of his lids. He sighs deeply. “If anyone can shed light on the darkest corner in all the lands, it would be you. Not because you can summon the Sun, but because you don't give up on those who've touched your heart. That means the Darkling is not beyond saving, whereas I can never be Grisha.”
“Who says I want you to be Grisha?” Joshua demands, seizing Seungcheol’s elbow. “I just want you.” He loosens his hold, opting to cup Seungcheol’s cheek instead. “I want you.”
Jacket thrown aside, Joshua climbs into Seungcheol’s lap. Seungcheol’s steady, trained hands press on either side of him. His presence is grounding. Joshua runs his thumb along his brow bone, delivering a tentative kiss to the curve where it ends and the slope of his nose begins. Seungcheol surges up and devours his lips with the desperation of a hunter losing track of his prey, or a man losing hold of his lover. A low moan slips past Joshua’s lips; an abrupt wake-up call. Seungcheol rips away from their embrace.
“I can taste him on you.”
Joshua’s blood runs cold. How did he know? He avoids Seungcheol’s eyes, not wanting to confront the disappointment—or worse, disgust—in them.
“Shua-yah.” Seungcheol’s soft call returns warmth to Joshua’s fingertips. He tilts Joshua’s chin up and commits the unforgivable crime of being honest. “It’s sweet.”
When Seungcheol draws him close again, a shadow slithers in between their bodies.
[FILL] despise your heart
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Shadow and Bone AU, unhealthy and complicated relationships
Permission to remix: Please ask
op this is time I do something for you after all the delicious meals you've put on my table. sorry I am a year late, and then some. best believe I did a bit of sleuthing to make sure the casting I had in mind is also what you would enjoy (and it was! so. I do hope you enjoy) <3
“My love,” the night whispers.
Joshua calls light to him and disperses the dark he’s been plunged into. He raises his hand. A smile greets him, then a pair of eyes so deep they may as well be chasms.
“Where are you now?" The question is steeped in palpable concern. "You are growing thinner by the day. Please, return to Os Alta at first light.”
The shadows retreat into their respective corners and Joshua begins to make out familiar shapes: shiny, granite floor; rows of bookshelves and the accompanying scent of parchment swirling in the air; bedposts made of the oak trees from the southern border forest. Those delicate satin sheets, Joshua’s face had been pressed into them. They forever hold the secrets his body divulged under this monster’s touch.
“Come back to me, to our life together. I want it, you know. A life with you.”
He spits on the floor, next to the Darkling’s bare feet. “You only want what I have.”
“Darling, you are the Sun Summoner. Everyone wants what you have,” the Darkling replies coolly. His dark night robe billows behind him, despite the absence of the wind. “But not everyone wants you, and oh, how it torments me that I do.”
It is worse, Joshua thinks, to recognise the sincerity in his admission. He loathes his heart. Even now, it hopes for the impossible: a kind touch untainted by manipulation.
“He doesn’t understand us, your tracker boy.”
Joshua regains his wits at the irreverent mention of Seungcheol. He grits his teeth. “There is no us for him to understand.”
“Like calls to like.” He does not need the reminder, not when being here is already one. Neither one planned these visits into the other person’s dreams, but the Saints keep dragging them back, over and over again. “Being with me makes you stronger—this you cannot deny. He still shrinks away from your power.”
He glares at the Darkling and holds back his tongue. More often than not, silence propels him faster to the end of these visits, as though its progression is determined by the quality of their exchange.
“Come back to me. If you have to bring him, so be it. I can help him understand,” the Darkling says, voice soothing and soporific. Joshua inhales sharply when he kills what distance remains between them, standing so close his breath fans over Joshua’s skin. “How light shines the brightest in the dark.”
“Go to hell,” Joshua spits venomously.
“Ah, the young are so stubborn. And so lovely.”
He touches Joshua’s brow, a gentle caress. Joshua jerks away. They’ve never touched. Not in here—they’ve never been able to. What does this mean? Has their connection grown stronger?
“I’m afraid this is where we have to say goodbye,” he says, smiling at Joshua’s repulsion. “I have a feeling we’ll see each other again very soon, and not in a dream.”
“Pray the day never comes, for it will be your last.”
The Darkling chuckles. “Then grant me one wish, bright one. Call my name before you use the Cut on me.”
His name? Joshua wonders. The Darkling reads the question from his countenance and presses the answer to his lips. Joshua closes his eyes, an old habit that refuses to die.
He startles awake in the tent he had fallen asleep in the night before, Seungcheol’s jacket covering his figure. The Sun hangs low on the horizon, courtesy of a shy, slow morning. Seungcheol is up—he seems to have been up for hours—and working on his third snare.
“Another one?” he asks, glancing over his shoulder.
“Yes.” Joshua sits up and rubs away the nightmare from his face. “Nothing new.”
“Something new,” Seungcheol corrects. “Who is Jeonghan?”
Abandoning his work, Seungcheol turns to him. The gaze he fixes on Joshua is penetrating. Intrusive. A word Joshua never once associated with Seungcheol before Jeonghan—no, the Darkling—came around.
“You called his name in your sleep.”
He licks his lips, swallowing the remnants of the Darkling’s farewell. “No one.”
“You were calling for him.”
“I think you’re mistaken.”
“You never call for me.” If Seungcheol presses any harder, his words will leave a bruise on Joshua’s soul. “Is it because I’m always here or because I’m the choice that was made for you?”
It takes him by surprise. Not the question, but the hurt lurking underneath. “Cheol-ah,” Joshua whispers.
Seungcheol closes his eyes, black lashes a contrast against the purplish backdrop of his lids. He sighs deeply. “If anyone can shed light on the darkest corner in all the lands, it would be you. Not because you can summon the Sun, but because you don't give up on those who've touched your heart. That means the Darkling is not beyond saving, whereas I can never be Grisha.”
“Who says I want you to be Grisha?” Joshua demands, seizing Seungcheol’s elbow. “I just want you.” He loosens his hold, opting to cup Seungcheol’s cheek instead. “I want you.”
Jacket thrown aside, Joshua climbs into Seungcheol’s lap. Seungcheol’s steady, trained hands press on either side of him. His presence is grounding. Joshua runs his thumb along his brow bone, delivering a tentative kiss to the curve where it ends and the slope of his nose begins. Seungcheol surges up and devours his lips with the desperation of a hunter losing track of his prey, or a man losing hold of his lover. A low moan slips past Joshua’s lips; an abrupt wake-up call. Seungcheol rips away from their embrace.
“I can taste him on you.”
Joshua’s blood runs cold. How did he know? He avoids Seungcheol’s eyes, not wanting to confront the disappointment—or worse, disgust—in them.
“Shua-yah.” Seungcheol’s soft call returns warmth to Joshua’s fingertips. He tilts Joshua’s chin up and commits the unforgivable crime of being honest. “It’s sweet.”
When Seungcheol draws him close again, a shadow slithers in between their bodies.