Status: Closed
This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.
About
"Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time."
"How inconvenient to be made of desire."
"It's me, hi, I'm the problem its me."
Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy WeVerse drama.
🛑 HOLD UP
If this is your first time on 17hols please check out our About Page which contains helpful information and links to pages explaining dreamwidth and HTML. We are a prompting fest where all the action happens in the comment section.
Rules
- Sign up is not required.
- Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too!
- There is no maximum cap.
- Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest).
- NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged
- NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview.
How it works
Prompting
- Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post;
- Change the subject;
- Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want!
Need ideas? Check out our 2021 and 2022 Quote rounds.
Filling
- Reply to the original prompt;
- You must change the subject to [FILL] - this is to help the mods track. Feel free to add a title
- Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text.
You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.
Remixing
- Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
- Change the subject to [REMIX].
Art/media
- Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.)
- Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it!
- Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead.
(To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want)
On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it.
Navigation
|
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
[FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: implied internalized homophobia, slight mention of sex but not overall nsfw, angst, they don't actually interact it's just jeonghan Thinking So Hard
Permission to remix: Please ask
***
When Jeonghan gets the invitation in the mail, he laughs out loud; helplessly, wildly, with disbelief. It comes out of him like he’s a cornered reptile spitting acid. You are cordially invited to the wedding of Choi Seungcheol and Oh Nayoung, reads the dainty script inside the card. Jeonghan would bet money that Nayoung picked it, that she showed Seungcheol and he said sure, darling, whatever you want. He’d always been a bit of a pushover.
There’s a QR code to RSVP online at the bottom. How romantic. Jeonghan shoves the card back into its color-coordinated envelope and leaves it at the bottom of the junk drawer in his kitchen.
But the thing is—he wants to go, if only to look Seungcheol in the eyes and ask why he was invited in the first place. He can imagine what will happen on Seungcheol’s face when he sees him, when he realizes his mistake.
Because it is a mistake. Not just for Jeonghan to be there, but for Seungcheol to remember him at all, for either of them to acknowledge each other; it was a mistake for them to meet and not immediately run in opposite directions without looking back.
Jeonghan goes to the wedding. He scans the stupid code, he marks attending unaccompanied on the little RSVP form, he buys some sort of laundry rack from the registry. He wonders if Seungcheol will see his name under the gift receipt and think of him every time he uses it.
It’s not hard to follow the suggested guest dress code, because the pastel wedding colors match half of Jeonghan’s wardrobe. Some hideous tiny part of him whispers that Seungcheol knows this, that he remembers Jeonghan’s favorite colors, that Jeonghan left a sweatshirt on his floor eight years ago and Seungcheol never got rid of it. That Seungcheol still wears it, sometimes.
Everything I wear would be too small for him, Jeonghan reminds himself.
The wedding is in a beautiful rose garden, and the weather is perfect, and Seungcheol looks nervous and handsome in his baby blue suit. Jeonghan gets lucky and doesn’t have to talk to anyone he might know; all of Seungcheol’s friends from college are in his wedding party, so they can’t be seated next to Jeonghan, can’t recognize him from a hasty Sunday morning walk of shame.
They recognize him anyway. He swears Jeon Wonwoo looks right at him and makes the conscious decision not to point him out, pretends he saw nothing, but his eyes are burning holes in Jeonghan’s face for the rest of the ceremony.
Jeonghan ignores it—he’s too busy watching Nayoung swish her way down the aisle in miles of white lace, watching Seungcheol lean forward like he just can’t wait for her, like she’s the thread leading him through a maze. Her hair is dyed blonde, the way Jeonghan’s would be if he was eight years younger.
He blocks out most of the vows, too, afraid that Seungcheol will say something and it will be familiar. Jeonghan doesn’t think he could handle hearing an echo in this cave he’s in, seeing his own shadow on the walls.
Jeonghan tells himself he won’t stay for the reception, and then he does it anyway, because he somehow hasn’t had his fill of setting himself on fire.
The wine is free, at least, and good, but Jeonghan watches Seungcheol and Nayoung sway from across the room and it turns bitter in his mouth. He’s curious, yes, self-destructive, often, but he isn’t stupid. He knew all along why Seungcheol invited him: out of self-indulgence, out of desperation, to prove to himself that he’d moved on and forgotten and didn’t care anymore.
It was selfish of him. Jeonghan is suddenly a thousand times more conscious of the fact that he knows no one here, that he’d never been introduced to Seungcheol’s family or even really to his friends. He’d always been a secret, ushered out of bedrooms and down hallways, fucked with Seungcheol’s mouth against his to keep him quiet, to keep from sharing him.
This was what Seungcheol had wanted, this big fairytale wedding, this gentle press of lips on a dance floor in front of both of their families. The lace that Jeonghan would look good in but never wear, the crowd of people that Jeonghan would hate to stand in front of, the vows that would get stuck syrupy in Jeonghan’s throat.
Jeonghan leaves before Seungcheol can find him. He figures it’s easier to disappear than to look at Seungcheol and say I’m sorry that you wanted me. I’m sorry that I wanted you back.
In another world I wouldn't have let my hair grow out black again. It would have been the golden thread that led you out of the labyrinth.
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
He wonders if Seungcheol will see his name under the gift receipt and think of him every time he uses // He’d always been a secret, ushered out of bedrooms and down hallways, fucked with Seungcheol’s mouth against his to keep him quiet, to keep from sharing him. especially this??????? i really do enjoy jeonghan povs where he is curious / wanting to bear witness to the things that hurt him and you crafted it so wonderfully here. just. the hurt. the weird stilted silences, the opportunities where jeonghan could do something but he doesn't. so he runs. god ty for writing and sharing
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
Everything I wear would be too small for him, Jeonghan reminds himself.”
SCREEEECHES i love how seungcheol doesn’t say a single word to jeonghan throughout this and it’s literally just jeonghan in fact, thinking too hard. this was so cutting and dry and said in a very jeonghan voice, so good
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
You filled this so wonderfully I can’t thank you enough. And idk how you read my mind because Jeongcheol and weddings are such a thing for me.. this was so good!! Everything. The small descriptions of Seungcheol :( also your prose is soo nice, everything just flows very very well which I think is so hard when writing only stream of consciousness? this especially killed me:
That was horrible (amazing) to read. This is so dear to me and I’ll probably reread it every hour today… thank you so much for filling and sharing!!
Re: [FILL] it must be lonely loving someone
i've never written jeongcheol either so thank you for indirectly getting me out of my comfort zone!! so glad you enjoyed it