Ship/Member: meanie/minwon Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: original female character, bittersweetisms, cheating, implied/referenced sex, hurt/no comfort Permission to remix: Please ask
***
“There you are, Mingyu.”
Mingyu looks up and grins, seeing Wonwoo standing a few feet in front of him. He gets up and walks over to him, greeting him with a hug.
“You’re late,” Mingyu says, giving Wonwoo a squeeze before stepping away. “I’m glad you made it. Parties suck without you, hyung.”
Wonwoo smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He’s shifty, for some reason. “I wanted to introduce you to someone,” he says.
“Oh?” Mingyu replies. “Who?”
“You’ll see.”
“Mysterious,” Mingyu says. “What’s up with you?”
Wonwoo doesn’t reply, just nods his head in the direction he came from. Mingyu follows him through the crowd of people over to a table standing along the wall. A girl is sitting there, with long dark hair and red lips. She’s wearing one of Wonwoo’s hats– the beret Mingyu had gotten him for his birthday a few years back. Oh.
“Mingyu,” Wonwoo says, as the girl gets up and smiles at him, extending a hand. “Meet my girlfriend.”
Oh.
Something inside Mingyu crumples up inside him and dies, like someone holding a leaf over a flame. He stands there for a few seconds, dumbstruck, then realizes he has to do something– say something.
“Hi,” Mingyu says, taking the girl’s hand. Her skin is soft. “I uh… well, you already know who I am.”
His voice is coming out all wrong, too high pitched and raw. He doesn’t sound like himself, he doesn’t feel like himself.
The girl laughs airily. She’s pretty, Mingyu supposes, if you’re into that. Into girls.
“I do,” she says. “Wonwoo’s told me all about you. I’m Sohee.”
Just Wonwoo. She must be his age or older, then. And she says her name in a way that makes it seem like she’s saying, ‘you know, Sohee? His girlfriend? The girl he’s been telling you about?’ but the truth is, Wonwoo’s never mentioned Sohee to Mingyu before.
Mingyu wants to say this, but he doesn’t. He swallows it down.
“Good to finally meet you,” Mingyu says instead. He lets go of her hand and looks over at Wonwoo, who’s surveying him with a strange expression that Mingyu can’t quite place. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. I don’t want to interrupt your date.”
The briefest look of regret passes over Wonwoo’s face, it’s there and then it’s gone. It’s not enough. Mingyu says goodbye and leaves, stalking towards the bar while something hot and evil coils around in the pit of his stomach.
Before he makes it to the bar, he changes his mind– he changes course, and he leaves the bar. As he’s closing the door behind him, Mingyu catches sight of Wonwoo– his arms are wrapped around Sohee’s waist, her head resting on his shoulder. But Wonwoo is looking at Mingyu.
Why is he looking at him? Hasn’t he hurt Mingyu enough?
Wonwoo should know better than to feed a dog he can’t keep. He should know better, but he doesn’t, and Mingyu doesn’t either– he gives Wonwoo a smile before turning around and walking out.
It’s raining outside, but for once, Mingyu doesn’t mind. He stands in the middle of the street, staring up at the starless night sky.
When Mingyu wakes up the next morning, for a second, he’s convinced it was just a weird dream. But he opens his phone and opens instagram, and there Sohee is on Wonwoo’s story– and Mingyu feels sick. He closes his phone and puts it back on the bedside table, turning onto his side and staring at the wall unseeingly. The thing in the pit of his stomach awakens, coiling around his insides.
Had he been imagining things? Had he been imagining the stolen glances, the lingering touches, all of it, was it just something Mingyu had made up in his head? Has Wonwoo ever liked him, or was it just wishful thinking?
Why did he like Sohee? Why not him? Why not him?
…
A month passes. Mingyu sees Wonwoo around the campus, and he’s not intentionally avoiding him– he just doesn’t go out of his way to say hi to him. That’s fair, isn’t it?
They talk, sometimes. In class, in between classes. Wonwoo texts him sometimes, asking if he’ll be at parties, that sort of thing. Mingyu says no, most of the time.
When he does go, it’s never quite the same as it was before. Wonwoo hovers around the party with Sohee, and Mingyu lingers in corners and shadows until one of his friends find him and tug him out. Rarely is Wonwoo the friend who does it, but when he does, it’s… tense. Sohee seems to either not notice, or she just ignores it.
She’s really quite sweet, and Mingyu wishes she wasn’t– it would be so much easier if she was mean and cruel, but she isn’t. She’s nice.
The three of them will share a drink, laugh a bit, dance a bit, and then Mingyu will make up an excuse and lock himself in the bathroom, or he’ll just leave.
Tonight, he leaves. Mingyu goes home and lies down flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and he thinks; why not me? Why not me? Why not me?
…
The next weekend Mingyu stays home. He’s lying on his couch half asleep when there’s a knock on his door which shakes him out of it, and he rolls off the couch with a groan.
He opens the door to see–
“Wonwoo hyung?”
“Hey,” Wonwoo says. He sounds tired. “Can I come in?”
“Oh,” Mingyu says. “I mean, sure.”
He lets Wonwoo inside, watching him take off his shoes and his jacket, completely shaken awake by his sudden appearance. Mingyu takes him into the living room and Wonwoo sits down on the couch and puts his head in his hands.
“Sorry about barging in like this,” Wonwoo says at length, looking up at Mingyu again. “Sohee kicked me out, and there’s no way for me to get back to mine at this hour. I need a place to crash for the night.”
Of course, Mingyu thinks. Of course Wonwoo only looks for Mingyu when he needs something from him. He’s not sure if he minds.
“Alright,” Mingyu says. “You can sleep here, it’s fine. Do you…” he gestures vaguely. “Want to talk, or something?”
“I don’t know,” Wonwoo replies.
“Do you want a beer?”
“Yeah.”
Mingyu opens his mini fridge and takes two beer cans, tossing one to Wonwoo before sitting down on the couch next to him. They sit in silence for a while, drinking. Eventually, Wonwoo speaks up again.
“I’m bad at fighting,” he says.
Mingyu scoffs, “I don’t think anyone’s good at fighting with their partner.”
“I guess not,” Wonwoo says. “I just feel like… I don’t know, I feel like I should’ve said better things. The right things. To fix it.”
“Would those things have been the truth?” Mingyu asks.
Wonwoo looks at him for a long time, before eventually shaking his head and saying, “I changed my mind. I don’t want to think about it.”
“I don’t think I’m the right person to ask for relationship advice anyway, hyung,” Mingyu says– because he can’t stop himself. He can’t stop himself from wanting to make it better, always like a dog wanting to please its owner. He hates himself for it almost as much as he hates Wonwoo. “I could be a good distraction, though.”
“A distraction?” Wonwoo says. He’s still looking at Mingyu, but his eyes have changed, clouded a bit and grown darker. His beer stands empty on the coffee table.
And then, quite suddenly, Wonwoo leans forward– instinctually Mingyu leans back, and they end up almost flat against the couch, Mingyu caged in by Wonwoo’s arms on either side of him.
“Hyung–”
He doesn’t get to finish. Wonwoo kisses him hard, pushes him back into the couch, and Mingyu’s mind goes blank, completely blank– all he can think of is Wonwoo pressed up against him, and then as suddenly as it came, it’s over.
Wonwoo pulls away, as if startled by his own actions, “sorry, fuck, Mingyu–”
“It’s okay,” Mingyu hurries, following Wonwoo up and grabbing onto his shirt, desperately, pathetically. “It’s fine, hyung.”
It’s not fine. It’s not fine. That wasn’t what Mingyu had meant by distraction at all– he’d thought about putting on a movie, or talking about something other than Sohee, not… not this. But if he can have this, maybe…
“No it’s not,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. “Mingyu, I–”
“It’s okay,” Mingyu says again, and he pulls Wonwoo back down with him, and Wonwoo follows. “I’ll distract you, hyung. Let me be a distraction. Let me– let me be useful to you. Use me, I want– I want to be useful.”
Wonwoo stares at him unblinkingly for a few seconds, and then he’s kissing him again, even hungrier this time, his tongue forcing its way into his mouth as he kisses him roughly. He manages to manhandle Mingyu into a more comfortable position, so that Wonwoo is lying in between his legs, his arms still on either side of his head, trapping him there.
And Mingyu’s wanted this for so long that he doesn’t care why it’s happening, doesn’t care about the consequences. He just wants Wonwoo.
He tugs impatiently at Wonwoo’s shirt, trying to get it off, “bedroom,” he whines, “please, hyung. This couch is too small.”
Wonwoo just hums in response, pressing wet kisses down his neck, “yeah,” he mumbles, “right, okay. Bedroom.”
They get up, but their lips don’t leave each other– Mingyu can’t stop, if he stops he’ll start thinking about it, why it’s a bad idea, why he shouldn’t, and so will Wonwoo.
They fumble their way backwards into Mingyu’s bedroom and fall onto the bed, a mess of limbs, panting and racing against an imaginary clock. Reality, maybe.
Mingyu’s head is swimming, and the only parts of his body he can feel are the parts of him that are touching Wonwoo, or that Wonwoo’s touching, and he’s real– they’re both real.
When Wonwoo is pressing wet kisses down Mingyu’s neck and then across his abdomen, he turns his head to the side and sees Wonwoo’s phone in the bundle of clothes next to them on the bed. Several unread messages are shown on the screen, all of them from Sohee. Mingyu turns the phone off.
And Mingyu tries to forget whose skin Wonwoo’s lips have been on, what his hands have done. He tries not to think about who Wonwoo wishes Mingyu was.
It works, almost.
When Mingyu wakes up the next morning, Wonwoo is gone. It’s raining again.
[FILL] do mi ti, why not me
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: original female character, bittersweetisms, cheating, implied/referenced sex, hurt/no comfort
Permission to remix: Please ask
***
“There you are, Mingyu.”
Mingyu looks up and grins, seeing Wonwoo standing a few feet in front of him. He gets up and walks over to him, greeting him with a hug.
“You’re late,” Mingyu says, giving Wonwoo a squeeze before stepping away. “I’m glad you made it. Parties suck without you, hyung.”
Wonwoo smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He’s shifty, for some reason. “I wanted to introduce you to someone,” he says.
“Oh?” Mingyu replies. “Who?”
“You’ll see.”
“Mysterious,” Mingyu says. “What’s up with you?”
Wonwoo doesn’t reply, just nods his head in the direction he came from. Mingyu follows him through the crowd of people over to a table standing along the wall. A girl is sitting there, with long dark hair and red lips. She’s wearing one of Wonwoo’s hats– the beret Mingyu had gotten him for his birthday a few years back. Oh.
“Mingyu,” Wonwoo says, as the girl gets up and smiles at him, extending a hand. “Meet my girlfriend.”
Oh.
Something inside Mingyu crumples up inside him and dies, like someone holding a leaf over a flame. He stands there for a few seconds, dumbstruck, then realizes he has to do something– say something.
“Hi,” Mingyu says, taking the girl’s hand. Her skin is soft. “I uh… well, you already know who I am.”
His voice is coming out all wrong, too high pitched and raw. He doesn’t sound like himself, he doesn’t feel like himself.
The girl laughs airily. She’s pretty, Mingyu supposes, if you’re into that. Into girls.
“I do,” she says. “Wonwoo’s told me all about you. I’m Sohee.”
Just Wonwoo. She must be his age or older, then. And she says her name in a way that makes it seem like she’s saying, ‘you know, Sohee? His girlfriend? The girl he’s been telling you about?’ but the truth is, Wonwoo’s never mentioned Sohee to Mingyu before.
Mingyu wants to say this, but he doesn’t. He swallows it down.
“Good to finally meet you,” Mingyu says instead. He lets go of her hand and looks over at Wonwoo, who’s surveying him with a strange expression that Mingyu can’t quite place. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. I don’t want to interrupt your date.”
The briefest look of regret passes over Wonwoo’s face, it’s there and then it’s gone. It’s not enough. Mingyu says goodbye and leaves, stalking towards the bar while something hot and evil coils around in the pit of his stomach.
Before he makes it to the bar, he changes his mind– he changes course, and he leaves the bar. As he’s closing the door behind him, Mingyu catches sight of Wonwoo– his arms are wrapped around Sohee’s waist, her head resting on his shoulder. But Wonwoo is looking at Mingyu.
Why is he looking at him? Hasn’t he hurt Mingyu enough?
Wonwoo should know better than to feed a dog he can’t keep. He should know better, but he doesn’t, and Mingyu doesn’t either– he gives Wonwoo a smile before turning around and walking out.
It’s raining outside, but for once, Mingyu doesn’t mind. He stands in the middle of the street, staring up at the starless night sky.
When Mingyu wakes up the next morning, for a second, he’s convinced it was just a weird dream. But he opens his phone and opens instagram, and there Sohee is on Wonwoo’s story– and Mingyu feels sick. He closes his phone and puts it back on the bedside table, turning onto his side and staring at the wall unseeingly. The thing in the pit of his stomach awakens, coiling around his insides.
Had he been imagining things? Had he been imagining the stolen glances, the lingering touches, all of it, was it just something Mingyu had made up in his head? Has Wonwoo ever liked him, or was it just wishful thinking?
Why did he like Sohee? Why not him? Why not him?
…
A month passes. Mingyu sees Wonwoo around the campus, and he’s not intentionally avoiding him– he just doesn’t go out of his way to say hi to him. That’s fair, isn’t it?
They talk, sometimes. In class, in between classes. Wonwoo texts him sometimes, asking if he’ll be at parties, that sort of thing. Mingyu says no, most of the time.
When he does go, it’s never quite the same as it was before. Wonwoo hovers around the party with Sohee, and Mingyu lingers in corners and shadows until one of his friends find him and tug him out. Rarely is Wonwoo the friend who does it, but when he does, it’s… tense. Sohee seems to either not notice, or she just ignores it.
She’s really quite sweet, and Mingyu wishes she wasn’t– it would be so much easier if she was mean and cruel, but she isn’t. She’s nice.
The three of them will share a drink, laugh a bit, dance a bit, and then Mingyu will make up an excuse and lock himself in the bathroom, or he’ll just leave.
Tonight, he leaves. Mingyu goes home and lies down flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling, and he thinks; why not me? Why not me? Why not me?
…
The next weekend Mingyu stays home. He’s lying on his couch half asleep when there’s a knock on his door which shakes him out of it, and he rolls off the couch with a groan.
He opens the door to see–
“Wonwoo hyung?”
“Hey,” Wonwoo says. He sounds tired. “Can I come in?”
“Oh,” Mingyu says. “I mean, sure.”
He lets Wonwoo inside, watching him take off his shoes and his jacket, completely shaken awake by his sudden appearance. Mingyu takes him into the living room and Wonwoo sits down on the couch and puts his head in his hands.
“Sorry about barging in like this,” Wonwoo says at length, looking up at Mingyu again. “Sohee kicked me out, and there’s no way for me to get back to mine at this hour. I need a place to crash for the night.”
Of course, Mingyu thinks. Of course Wonwoo only looks for Mingyu when he needs something from him. He’s not sure if he minds.
“Alright,” Mingyu says. “You can sleep here, it’s fine. Do you…” he gestures vaguely. “Want to talk, or something?”
“I don’t know,” Wonwoo replies.
“Do you want a beer?”
“Yeah.”
Mingyu opens his mini fridge and takes two beer cans, tossing one to Wonwoo before sitting down on the couch next to him. They sit in silence for a while, drinking. Eventually, Wonwoo speaks up again.
“I’m bad at fighting,” he says.
Mingyu scoffs, “I don’t think anyone’s good at fighting with their partner.”
“I guess not,” Wonwoo says. “I just feel like… I don’t know, I feel like I should’ve said better things. The right things. To fix it.”
“Would those things have been the truth?” Mingyu asks.
Wonwoo looks at him for a long time, before eventually shaking his head and saying, “I changed my mind. I don’t want to think about it.”
“I don’t think I’m the right person to ask for relationship advice anyway, hyung,” Mingyu says– because he can’t stop himself. He can’t stop himself from wanting to make it better, always like a dog wanting to please its owner. He hates himself for it almost as much as he hates Wonwoo. “I could be a good distraction, though.”
“A distraction?” Wonwoo says. He’s still looking at Mingyu, but his eyes have changed, clouded a bit and grown darker. His beer stands empty on the coffee table.
And then, quite suddenly, Wonwoo leans forward– instinctually Mingyu leans back, and they end up almost flat against the couch, Mingyu caged in by Wonwoo’s arms on either side of him.
“Hyung–”
He doesn’t get to finish. Wonwoo kisses him hard, pushes him back into the couch, and Mingyu’s mind goes blank, completely blank– all he can think of is Wonwoo pressed up against him, and then as suddenly as it came, it’s over.
Wonwoo pulls away, as if startled by his own actions, “sorry, fuck, Mingyu–”
“It’s okay,” Mingyu hurries, following Wonwoo up and grabbing onto his shirt, desperately, pathetically. “It’s fine, hyung.”
It’s not fine. It’s not fine. That wasn’t what Mingyu had meant by distraction at all– he’d thought about putting on a movie, or talking about something other than Sohee, not… not this. But if he can have this, maybe…
“No it’s not,” Wonwoo says, shaking his head. “Mingyu, I–”
“It’s okay,” Mingyu says again, and he pulls Wonwoo back down with him, and Wonwoo follows. “I’ll distract you, hyung. Let me be a distraction. Let me– let me be useful to you. Use me, I want– I want to be useful.”
Wonwoo stares at him unblinkingly for a few seconds, and then he’s kissing him again, even hungrier this time, his tongue forcing its way into his mouth as he kisses him roughly. He manages to manhandle Mingyu into a more comfortable position, so that Wonwoo is lying in between his legs, his arms still on either side of his head, trapping him there.
And Mingyu’s wanted this for so long that he doesn’t care why it’s happening, doesn’t care about the consequences. He just wants Wonwoo.
He tugs impatiently at Wonwoo’s shirt, trying to get it off, “bedroom,” he whines, “please, hyung. This couch is too small.”
Wonwoo just hums in response, pressing wet kisses down his neck, “yeah,” he mumbles, “right, okay. Bedroom.”
They get up, but their lips don’t leave each other– Mingyu can’t stop, if he stops he’ll start thinking about it, why it’s a bad idea, why he shouldn’t, and so will Wonwoo.
They fumble their way backwards into Mingyu’s bedroom and fall onto the bed, a mess of limbs, panting and racing against an imaginary clock. Reality, maybe.
Mingyu’s head is swimming, and the only parts of his body he can feel are the parts of him that are touching Wonwoo, or that Wonwoo’s touching, and he’s real– they’re both real.
When Wonwoo is pressing wet kisses down Mingyu’s neck and then across his abdomen, he turns his head to the side and sees Wonwoo’s phone in the bundle of clothes next to them on the bed. Several unread messages are shown on the screen, all of them from Sohee. Mingyu turns the phone off.
And Mingyu tries to forget whose skin Wonwoo’s lips have been on, what his hands have done. He tries not to think about who Wonwoo wishes Mingyu was.
It works, almost.
When Mingyu wakes up the next morning, Wonwoo is gone. It’s raining again.