*** when the sound of seokmin’s ringtone breaks through his sleep-haze he just about jumps out of his skin. the soft glow of the clock informs him of the time — he’d barely been asleep for two hours after stumbling home from the studio, with only the presence of mind to shovel a cup of instant ramen into his body and take a shower before he collapsed in bed.
he flips his phone over to glance at the screen, wincing at the light that blooms in the pitch-dark room. the accusing red icon stares back at him — five missed calls already. his exhaustion must’ve dulled the sound of the ringer. one finger twitches towards the blinking green button even as the annoyance rushes through him. seokmin hesitates — what good could come of this?
but his heart is soft, even now. even for him.
he was supposed to have blocked this number. he would’ve, if he was smarter. there were others he could call, anyway, if he needed help.
but if joshua really needed him, would seokmin be able to say no?
he sighs, knowing the decision was made the minute he’d read the name on the screen.
“seokmin-ah, you picked up!” joshua sounds almost disbelieving, effervescent. seokmin hates the way his voice still warms him from within.
“what do you want, hyung?”
“i missed you~ what were you doing?” his words are sliding against each other, enunciation gone to shit. a telltale sign he’s been drinking.
“seriously, it’s four in the morning. i thought you were dying or something, but this is all you called to talk about?” seokmin’s words are clipped, tight and level, every muscle in his chest tensed to keep everything he wants to be saying instead from spilling out.
“can i come over? make it up to you?”
“make it up to me?” his voice catches in his throat. “what exactly do you think you can do that would make things right again?”
“come on, babe. i miss you, and i’m sorry okay? you’re the only one for me.” his tone is cajoling, and seokmin can almost imagine the slow smile spreading across joshua’s lips.
the apology sinks in his chest like a stone. the wound, even unspoken, feels rubbed raw from the admission of guilt joshua had never deigned to give him when they’d broken up.
if joshua had said these words a month ago — if joshua had said these words sober, even now — seokmin might have taken it.
“fuck off,” seokmin’s voice is hoarse and strained, but even like this he can’t bring himself to shut the door entirely. “come back when you’re ready to be honest in the daylight.”
[FILL] i think maybe you’re lost
Major Tags: n/a
Additional Tags: alcohol mention, messy exes, long-suffering seokmin
Permission to remix: Yes
crossposted to ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43915278
***
when the sound of seokmin’s ringtone breaks through his sleep-haze he just about jumps out of his skin. the soft glow of the clock informs him of the time — he’d barely been asleep for two hours after stumbling home from the studio, with only the presence of mind to shovel a cup of instant ramen into his body and take a shower before he collapsed in bed.
he flips his phone over to glance at the screen, wincing at the light that blooms in the pitch-dark room. the accusing red icon stares back at him — five missed calls already. his exhaustion must’ve dulled the sound of the ringer. one finger twitches towards the blinking green button even as the annoyance rushes through him. seokmin hesitates — what good could come of this?
but his heart is soft, even now. even for him.
he was supposed to have blocked this number. he would’ve, if he was smarter. there were others he could call, anyway, if he needed help.
but if joshua really needed him, would seokmin be able to say no?
he sighs, knowing the decision was made the minute he’d read the name on the screen.
“seokmin-ah, you picked up!” joshua sounds almost disbelieving, effervescent. seokmin hates the way his voice still warms him from within.
“what do you want, hyung?”
“i missed you~ what were you doing?” his words are sliding against each other, enunciation gone to shit. a telltale sign he’s been drinking.
“seriously, it’s four in the morning. i thought you were dying or something, but this is all you called to talk about?” seokmin’s words are clipped, tight and level, every muscle in his chest tensed to keep everything he wants to be saying instead from spilling out.
“can i come over? make it up to you?”
“make it up to me?” his voice catches in his throat. “what exactly do you think you can do that would make things right again?”
“come on, babe. i miss you, and i’m sorry okay? you’re the only one for me.” his tone is cajoling, and seokmin can almost imagine the slow smile spreading across joshua’s lips.
the apology sinks in his chest like a stone. the wound, even unspoken, feels rubbed raw from the admission of guilt joshua had never deigned to give him when they’d broken up.
if joshua had said these words a month ago — if joshua had said these words sober, even now — seokmin might have taken it.
“fuck off,” seokmin’s voice is hoarse and strained, but even like this he can’t bring himself to shut the door entirely. “come back when you’re ready to be honest in the daylight.”