Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Junhui Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: idolverse if you like..., that tweet that went like wonwoo wants to be jo so bad but he's laurie, “I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror”, heavily inspired by but divergent from little women (2019) Permission to remix: Yes
***
“We can’t date,” Junhui says.
It’s five days after Wonwoo said something, an ill-advised and clumsy decision. No one thought it would be him, and worse, no one thought Junhui would say anything but yes, or me too, or whatever it is that would be a positive response to Wonwoo doing the equivalent of walking in front of an incoming train and waiting for someone to save him, the red warning lights flashing in tandem.
“Junhui—”
Junhui can’t even look at him now, launching into his next prepared spiel. “And you must be wondering why I drove you all the way out here just to reject you. Well— I think you deserve an explanation.”
“I don’t think I—”
“You see, Wonwoo, it’s not that I don’t like you. In fact— it’s not about that. I really do care about you so much, Wonwoo. You mean so much to me, and you don’t know it and I don’t say it. I swear.”
“But you don’t love me,” Wonwoo says.
Junhui falters briefly, then continues: “It’s not about that. It’s not even about me. It’s because I— think so highly of you that I don’t want to hurt you. Wonwoo, I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I could never hate you.”
Junhui spares a glance. Wonwoo is looking over the metal railing at the evening skyline of Seoul, the city before them. The wind threading itself through Wonwoo’s hair the way he once did, and later wished he could.
“You never gave me a chance to explain myself. You just ran away,” Wonwoo says. When Junhui doesn’t answer— “I didn’t say what I said just for fun.”
“And I know that, Wonwoo, and I took it seriously. Really. It’s just so— difficult.”
“Difficult,” Wonwoo repeats.
Junhui takes a deep breath. “I think— you deserve better than me, Wonwoo.”
“Who are you to say what I deserve.”
“I know you, Wonwoo,” Junhui says, vehemently. “I know what you want and what you value and I know you just— I know in that moment you just loved me too much, too irrationally, and that it goes against everything you stand for and hold sacred. And I knew you would regret it, as you did.”
“I didn’t,” Wonwoo responds, but with false conviction, the sunset bleeding in the backdrop of the sky. “The regret was fleeting.”
“You can’t see yourself the way I do,” Junhui asserts. “And you know that I’m silly and make awful jokes and don’t think too hard about things and you always consider things from every angle and I just can’t believe you didn’t think this through. You must have been blinded to that because you liked me so much, you couldn’t even think about how I’d never work for you. I’d never last with you. You’d fall out of love with me.”
“Listen to what you’re saying,” Wonwoo says, voice tight. “You’re the one who’s overthought this.”
“I don’t want to get hurt because you didn’t,” Junhui returns. “You might not be capable of hating me, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still hurt me. It’s better to be scratched than knifed,” he says. “And you’ll find someone else.”
“Junhui,” Wonwoo says slowly, searching his eyes, “I want you.”
Junhui exhales. “I don’t think I can love you how you want me to and how you need me to. I don’t know if I can love anyone that much.”
“You’re wrong,” Wonwoo answers, reaching for his hand and making the barest contact before Junhui wrenches it away. “I know you can and you have. And one day you will see it too. I never wanted more than you could give me.”
“I just don’t have that much faith in myself.”
Wonwoo draws back and looks at him desperately. “What about what you want, Jun-ah? Can’t you be selfish for once?”
“I want you to be happy,” Junhui answers.
***
A/N: and then (some weeks later after further agonies) they get together. happy ending!!!
[FILL] synonyms for confession
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse if you like..., that tweet that went like wonwoo wants to be jo so bad but he's laurie, “I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror”, heavily inspired by but divergent from little women (2019)
Permission to remix: Yes
***
“We can’t date,” Junhui says.
It’s five days after Wonwoo said something, an ill-advised and clumsy decision. No one thought it would be him, and worse, no one thought Junhui would say anything but yes, or me too, or whatever it is that would be a positive response to Wonwoo doing the equivalent of walking in front of an incoming train and waiting for someone to save him, the red warning lights flashing in tandem.
“Junhui—”
Junhui can’t even look at him now, launching into his next prepared spiel. “And you must be wondering why I drove you all the way out here just to reject you. Well— I think you deserve an explanation.”
“I don’t think I—”
“You see, Wonwoo, it’s not that I don’t like you. In fact— it’s not about that. I really do care about you so much, Wonwoo. You mean so much to me, and you don’t know it and I don’t say it. I swear.”
“But you don’t love me,” Wonwoo says.
Junhui falters briefly, then continues: “It’s not about that. It’s not even about me. It’s because I— think so highly of you that I don’t want to hurt you. Wonwoo, I don’t want you to hate me.”
“I could never hate you.”
Junhui spares a glance. Wonwoo is looking over the metal railing at the evening skyline of Seoul, the city before them. The wind threading itself through Wonwoo’s hair the way he once did, and later wished he could.
“You never gave me a chance to explain myself. You just ran away,” Wonwoo says. When Junhui doesn’t answer— “I didn’t say what I said just for fun.”
“And I know that, Wonwoo, and I took it seriously. Really. It’s just so— difficult.”
“Difficult,” Wonwoo repeats.
Junhui takes a deep breath. “I think— you deserve better than me, Wonwoo.”
“Who are you to say what I deserve.”
“I know you, Wonwoo,” Junhui says, vehemently. “I know what you want and what you value and I know you just— I know in that moment you just loved me too much, too irrationally, and that it goes against everything you stand for and hold sacred. And I knew you would regret it, as you did.”
“I didn’t,” Wonwoo responds, but with false conviction, the sunset bleeding in the backdrop of the sky. “The regret was fleeting.”
“You can’t see yourself the way I do,” Junhui asserts. “And you know that I’m silly and make awful jokes and don’t think too hard about things and you always consider things from every angle and I just can’t believe you didn’t think this through. You must have been blinded to that because you liked me so much, you couldn’t even think about how I’d never work for you. I’d never last with you. You’d fall out of love with me.”
“Listen to what you’re saying,” Wonwoo says, voice tight. “You’re the one who’s overthought this.”
“I don’t want to get hurt because you didn’t,” Junhui returns. “You might not be capable of hating me, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still hurt me. It’s better to be scratched than knifed,” he says. “And you’ll find someone else.”
“Junhui,” Wonwoo says slowly, searching his eyes, “I want you.”
Junhui exhales. “I don’t think I can love you how you want me to and how you need me to. I don’t know if I can love anyone that much.”
“You’re wrong,” Wonwoo answers, reaching for his hand and making the barest contact before Junhui wrenches it away. “I know you can and you have. And one day you will see it too. I never wanted more than you could give me.”
“I just don’t have that much faith in myself.”
Wonwoo draws back and looks at him desperately. “What about what you want, Jun-ah? Can’t you be selfish for once?”
“I want you to be happy,” Junhui answers.
***
A/N: and then (some weeks later after further agonies) they get together. happy ending!!!