Round 1 2023: Quotes

[hwarium]

Status: Closed This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted. Seventeen Holidays Round 1: Quotes About "Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time." "How inconvenient to be made of desire." "It's me, hi, I'm the problem its me." Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy WeVerse drama. 🛑 HOLD UP If this is your first time on 17hols please check out our About Page which contains helpful information and links to pages explaining dreamwidth and HTML. We are a prompting fest where all the action happens in the comment section. Rules Sign up is not required. Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too! There is no maximum cap. Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest). NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview. How it works Prompting Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post; Change the subject; Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want! Need ideas? Check out our 2021 and 2022 Quote rounds. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Do Not Wants:</strong> None <strong>Prompt:</strong> <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote> Filling Reply to the original prompt; You must change the subject to [FILL] - this is to help the mods track. Feel free to add a title Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text. You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** Remixing Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above; Change the subject to [REMIX]. Art/media Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.) Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it! Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead. (To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want) <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a> Note! On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it. Navigation ABOUT FAQ CHAT BAITS ✧ FILLS ✧ < ROUND 1: QUOTES > ROUND 2: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES 2021 2022

Comments

i did it all for love

[kwontent]

Ship/Member: any but please consider jeonghan doing it as a half-joke and ruining all the new prospects of his ex (who he still lives with?? who knows go crazy)
Major Tags: jealousy, immature new relationship sabotage
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I’m so mature, I’m so mature
I'm so mature, I got me a therapist to tell me there's other men
I don't want none, I just want you
If I can't have you, no one should

- sza | kill bill

[FILL] i did it all for love

[thembocollector]

op are you me because i was about to prompt this. thank you so, so much
xposted on ao3

Ship/Member: gyuhan
Major Tags: major character death, minor character death
Additional Tags: female original character, just watched glass onion aha !, non-linear narrative
Permission to remix: Yes

***

There's an email from Dr. Kim Haesoo about how Jeonghan's missed his last three appointments in a row. Jeonghan marks the email as read on his phone and looks up to stare at the garage. Mingyu's Merc W123 headlights are on. The engine's running. Jeonghan doesn't dare touch the car.

It was Mingyu's idea to move into the woods. He'd wanted to get away from society. Something that Jeonghan had scoffed at when they'd signed the lease together, but, well. It's clearly working in his favour, now.

***

Yuri looks just like Jeonghan. She has a nasty smoker's cough like him, too. Jeonghan was immediately able to clock her within the first hour they'd met.

"I've heard so much about you," Jeonghan had said, extending a hand. He tucked his hair behind his ear and smiled sweetly.

Mingyu looked like he wanted to throttle him. "Jjong-jjong," he says, by way of warning.

"You don't get to call me that anymore," Jeonghan says, still smiling.

Yuri looks at the two of them. "Should I make tea for us?"

***

The first half is easy.

Jeonghan crushes four strips of Valium into strong, black tea. All prescribed to him from his psychiatrist. He's not stupid. All he had to do was endure a hellish two months without his own meds.

Yuri is easy. She takes Jeonghan's tea with a smile. "Is this an olive branch of sorts?"

Jeonghan has to laugh at that. "Yeah, you could say so."

Even when she falls over, she slumps daintily to the ground. Jeonghan picks her up easily and puts her in Mingyu's bed.

Mingyu returns from the gym not too long after that.

"Yuri?" he calls out from the entryway.

"She's asleep," Jeonghan says. He makes the mistake of looking at Mingyu.

Jeonghan still loves him.

"Take this," Jeonghan says, handing over the second mug of tea. He retreats to the hallway bathroom and throws up.

***

Mingyu is asleep on the sofa when he returns; mug cradled carefully in his hands. Jeonghan reaches out to touch the side of his face.

***

Jeonghan has a gas mask on. He leaves the engine running. Stares at the both of them. Yuri's head is buried in the crook of Mingyu's neck.

Strangulation would be easier, Jeonghan thinks.

***

Yoon Jeonghan is in border control by the time the news breaks out. Something about a young couple found dead in a rural cabin in the middle of the woods. A tragic incident. Gone too soon, etc.

Once he gets through, he opens his phone and begins typing.

To: kimhaesoo@daum.net
From: yjhyjhyjh@daum.net
Subject: N/A

pretty words at my expense

[(Anonymous)]

Ship/Member: any! (if u wanna Get me then seokgyu or junhan but i think any ship would work)
Major Tags: perhaps unhealthy relationships if you want to take it that route
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I wanna go so what'd you say
When you gonna let me know
If you give a damn about me
'Cause you got my hands tied
In my defense I always fall for confidence
And your compliments look good on me

- ODESZA, "Say My Name"

your love

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any but please consider Chan just in general
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: right person wrong time
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Maybe in time when we’re both better at life, daylight can open my eyes and you’ll still be by my side - your love (deja vu) by glass animals

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any but please consider Chan
Major Tags: Unrequited Love
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

We won't be together, but maybe the next life
I need him like watеr, he lives on a landslide
I cry in his bathroom, hе turns off the big light
I'm being a cool girl, I'm keeping it so tight
I carry him home while my friends have a good night
I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright
I'm not feeling human, I think he's a good guy
- complex by katie gregson-macleod

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any but please consider Chan
Major Tags: Slow Burn, Friends to lovers, Angst?
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Who were you then? And who is she now?
Did she know that we were together somehow?
You never touched me, but I felt you everywhere
- That's where I am by Maggie Rogers

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any but consider Junhao
Major Tags: Complicated relationships
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I don't care what we are
It just has to work
Where we end something far
Something hard to understand
- Understand by Hippo Campus

hourglass

[tearstrung]

Ship/Member: junhao
Major Tags: complicated relationship
Additional Tags: established relationship, realizing that it might be too late (or maybe not), ambiguous/hopeful ending
Permission to remix: please ask!!
ao3 version here

op, this came out a little more emo than i intended. but i hope it fits!!


***

When Minghao closes the door behind him, the apartment goes completely dark. It blocks out the single light right above the doorbell, the one that flickers and homes a collection of fluttering, bulb-infatuated moths.

He was supposed to switch it out months ago, put in something new and vibrantly white rather than a lackluster gold. That was in October when Junhui first pointed it out, when the moths were few and far between, finding sanctuary in a place that was no longer one. Now it’s January and cold.

Junhui had said how it made their apartment look uninviting and not lived in, but Minghao can’t help but believe that’s due to other reasons, not the dying bulb.

It’s something else, deep inside their apartment, beyond the dust-hemmed curtains that speak to the floor more than Minghao and Junhui do to each other. Something hidden behind their doors, that all remain perpetually shut, creating a barrier between them that could be broken down with a set of curled knuckles, a simple knock. Something that could easily be discovered by Minghao’s side of the bed, which has been made for weeks, pillow fluffed, sheets tightly tucked and untouched; the body-shaped dip in the couch that’s been molded by the weight of Minghao’s body.

Junhui has yet to mention the light since. But Minghao’s reminded of the exchange each time he gets home, late at night, when the flickering bulb is the only thing that welcomes him in. He has started whispering good night to it.

He drops his bag by the front door, slipping off his loafers and setting them on their rickety shoe rack. The laces of his shoes touch the ones of Junhui’s, crossing over each other. Minghao can’t seem to remember the last time he and Junhui shared anything similar, close together, fingers intertwined, legs tangled. He’s not sure if they’ve been in arms reach since fall.

The box of lightbulbs he bought a few days after Junhui mentioned the light by the door is still sitting where Minghao left them. The cardboard is shiny and glazed over, and the box shows no attempt of being opened. It reminds him of their bedroom door. He opens it then, pulling out a single bulb.

Minghao’s calves are aching, pressing into his skin, as he holds himself up on his tiptoes, shooing away moths, and apologizing to them for his disturbance. Their wings brush against his knuckles, over the tattoo needled into his skin that both he and Junhui have.

Everything goes dark again, as he unscrews the dying bulb. And everything goes bright, brighter, when he twists the new one in. The front door opens as he does so.

He turns his head, finding Junhui in the doorframe. The light casts a spotlight on him, showing the creases in his forehead that could be folded in by either late-night perplexity or finding Minghao — by just seeing him, even. Minghao still has the urge to reach forward and rub the wrinkles out, to maneuver Junhui’s skin back to where it belongs. Does he still have the right to touch?

“What are you doing?” Junhui asks, croaky. Minghao wonders if he was asleep. He wonders, too, if Junhui was up waiting for him. But that possibility seems less likely.

Minghao’s feet lay flat. His calves thank him, but it makes him feel small, uncomfortably so. “I changed the lightbulb.”

Junhui squints at him, then the light. He looks at the light longer than he does at Minghao.

“It’s late, Minghao.”

“I know,” Minghao says, swallowing. His throat feels tight, from lack of uses like this, and his feet grow antsy below him. “You can go back to sleep, I’m done now.”

Junhui looks away from the light then, his eyes meeting Minghao’s. His eyes look similar to the bulb that Minghao just unscrewed, losing their illuminance, but still homing a come-and-go glint deep inside. Minghao wonders if the shine is there on its own, or a reflection of the blinding light between them.

Whatever it is, Minghao wants to catch the shimmer between his palms like a firefly and never let it go.

“You should go to sleep too,” Junhui says, voice soft, caring. His tone makes something ache in Minghao’s chest.

Minghao nods, throat closing in around his words. “I will, soon. You go ahead.”

Junhui brings a hand to the door frame, fingers wrapping tightly around it. The bones are pressing into his skin, making it go pink before going white. Minghao realizes it's Junhui’s way to gain stability, as the next thing Junhui says tumbles from his lips in a wobbly, unsure rush.

“Come with me, Minghao.”

Minghao feels his lashes flutter like newly-birthed moth wings. “What?”

“Come to bed with me,” Junhui says, quieter.

He can barely look at Minghao now as if this is the first time he’s ever invited him to do so, to crawl under the same sheets, share the same space with hardly any extra between them. Junhui has asked countless times, for years now, but it’s been months since an inquiry such as this has slipped off his tongue.

And it hangs in the hair between them, buzzing like a cloud of bugs. Neither of them moves to swat the invitation away.

A thousand different questions swirl around in Minghao’s head, but he fears, that if he lets them out, Junhui will repeal his question, retreat back into their once-shared room, and never find it in himself to ask again. With Junhui, Minghao feels like they have too much time alone, to ponder and retrace every step they’ve taken that brought them to where they are now. Together, but not quite. They have all of this time, hours within the days, days within the weeks, weeks within the months, yet it doesn’t feel like enough to figure it out — figure them out.

Minghao isn’t sure when their hourglass will run out; if he’ll be able to predict when the last grain of sand drips before he can scoop it back up with his hands and try again, for a grain more. A moment more.

They might already be out of time, glass empty. Maybe they can find a way to flip the hourglass again.

“Okay,” he says eventually, fingers tightening around the lightbulb in his hands. It’s hot in his hand.

“Okay,” Junhui says back, lips twitching. Minghao wonders if he could be the reason for a smile to form there, even now.

Minghao’s side of the bed is cold and the pillowcase smells like nothing but a sheet, unused. Faintly, Minghao catches a whiff of Junhui’s shampoo, citrusy and clean, as he shifts on the opposite side of the bed. Minghao’s skin feels taut and prickly, stretched over his bones, unsure of how to lay and simply be here. He bought this bed, this mattress, the tan, linen sheets, all with Junhui, but it feels so unfamiliar, rather than something of his own.

Junhui’s body heat beside him is running hot, even with the empty space between them. But the space isn’t all that much — Minghao could bend his wrist, stretch his fingers, and have Junhui’s hand in his own if he wanted.

Junhui moves on the bed suddenly and Minghao can feel Junhui’s gaze on the side of his face. Minghao dares to look, holding his breath.

“Come closer,” Junhui whispers, half to Minghao, half into his pillowcase. Minghao does, without much thought. The sheets rustle beneath him, sliding against his skin, until his face is close enough to Junhui’s that they could share each other’s breaths. Minghao’s is still stuck in his throat.

A thumb presses into the inside of Minghao’s wrist, soft and without callus, exactly how he remembers it feeling. His heartbeat thumps against the pad of Junhui’s thumb and he wonders if Junhui notices it.

“I’m sorry,” Minghao says, although, he’s not sure for what exactly. Everything, maybe? There are too many things to apologize for, too many things that he is probably unaware need an apology. But he means it.

He knows it’s not enough, too little, but it’s a start.

Junhui blinks at him, thumbing into where Minghao’s wrist and palm meet. “Me too.”

Minghao slides his hands down and into Junhui’s because he wants to. And he hopes that he can.

Junhui doesn’t pull away.

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any but consider Seungkwan or Minghao
Major Tags: Learning to Love
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

What if when he sees me
I like him and he knows it?
What if he opens up a door
And I can't close it? (What if you only open up?)
What happens then?
If when he holds me (when)
My heart is set in motion (he)
I'm not prepared for that (holds)
I'm scared of breaking open (me)
(What if you only open up?)
But still I can't help from hoping (in hope for love?)
To find someone to talk to
Who likes the way I am
Someone who when he sees me
Wants to again
- When He Sees Me from Waitress the musical

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: Post Break-up
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

And I can go anywhere I want
Anywhere I want, just not home
And you can aim for my heart, go for blood
But you would still miss me in your bones
- My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift

[tenjouh]

Ship/Member: any!!!!
Major Tags: conscious self-destruction under the guise of 'escapism', "we're bad for each other" type beat
Additional Tags: possible smut (could be implied instead of explicit)
Do Not Wants: dubcon, violence, abuse

Prompt:

Something isn't right, babe; I keep catching
Little words, but the meaning's thin
I'm somewhere outside my life, babe; I keep scratching
But somehow I can't get in

So we're slaves
To any semblance of touch
Lord, we should quit
But we love it too much

- Sedated by Hozier

try it again

[madeoutcreek]

Ship/Member: Any (but I think including yjh or kmg somehow would work nicely)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: grey areas, themes of emotional infidelity or nonmonogamy or messy throuples or whatever, character/relationship study
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Everybody wants to fuck someone else
Wanna feel the thing they never felt when they was with you

- JMSN, Cruel Intentions

This song is also about controlled desire, or our ability to lust for people and not act on it. Navigating monogamy and desire is difficult, but it’s also a normal human condition. Those feelings don’t contradict loyalty, you know? The chorus reminds me of heaven and the verses remind me of hell. After these dark and almost industrial bars, there’s this angelic light that breaks through.

- Japanese Breakfast's commentary on "Sit"

do I contradict myself?

[arundels]

Ship/Member: Any (but please consider... Jeonghan...)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: what does it mean to know yourself, can you be and want two conflicting things at once, the unbearable cognitive dissonance of existence, to want but to not want to want
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love.

- 'Meditations in an Emergency', Frank O'Hara

&

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

- 'Song of Myself, 51', Walt Whitman

[FILL] you said love fills you up

[soupblog]

Ship/Member: gyuhan, jeonghan pov
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: the mortifying ordeal of being known, unresolved tension that goes unresolved, idolverse
Permission to remix: Please ask

***

Jeonghan knows how it goes. Verse, chorus, verse. Falling in love, falling out of love, being alone. Repeat. He knows how this works. But still– still, he can’t help but wonder, what if– what if love could be more than that? What if love could be forever? What if love could be boundless like the open ocean, like the sea, wild and unrestrained, never ceasing?

And if he had that love, would he even know what to do with it? How do you hold water in your hands? How do you love the ocean without becoming a part of it, without killing yourself in the process?

Jeonghan is watching Mingyu across the restaurant table. He’s laughing at something Seokmin said. He’s plating food for everyone who asks, and opening bottles that are handed to him, and he’s all smiles, and he’s… so full of love. Unapologetically, without reservation, Mingyu loves everybody. And everyone loves Mingyu.

Mingyu is just that kind of person, Jeonghan supposes. You can’t help but love him.

Mingyu’s love is warm and soft, it’s kind, it doesn’t ask for things in return. Jeonghan’s love is a snowstorm that’ll trap you in your house and leave you to die. He’s not sure he knows how to love something without killing it.

“Everything alright, hyung?” Mingyu asks, his voice cutting through the static of Jeonghan’s mind. He’s looking at him now, eyes brown and warm.

“I’m alright,” Jeonghan replies, voice just loud enough that Mingyu will hear him.

But no one else hears it, because they’re not trying to hear it– Mingyu is trying. Mingyu is looking at Jeonghan intently, but he seems to get that Jeonghan isn’t going to tell him anything right now, so he leaves it alone.

Jeonghan almost wants Mingyu to keep prying, just to see what would happen. What would happen if Jeonghan let Mingyu cut him open here, at the group dinner, in front of everyone? If Jeonghan spilled his guts onto the table, blood and insides, every ugly thought he’s had while they’ve been sitting here? Would any of them want to look at him, or would they look away? Pretend it isn’t there, that he’s just had a little too much to drink?

Mingyu wouldn’t, some small voice in the back of Jeonghan’s head says. Mingyu would look.

But would he still love Jeonghan, even with the mess, with the blood on his hands?

Mingyu slips away again, sucked into conversation with Seungkwan. Jeonghan sits in his corner, and he doesn’t say anything until Joshua nudges his foot under the table.

“Jeonghan,” he says. “Jeonghan?”

“Mhm?” Jeonghan hums, shaking himself back to life. He picks up the chopsticks and starts pushing his food back and forth on the plate. “What is it?”

“Are you tired?”

Jeonghan blinks at him, then sighs, biting his tongue. “Yes,” he says. “Yes, tired.”

Joshua nods, silent understanding passing between them. He keeps his foot pressed against Jeonghan’s calf for the rest of the meal.

Is this also love? Here is the proof you’re still here; I am touching the back of your leg.

They get back to the hotel around midnight, some more tipsy than others. Jeonghan slips away to his room, curling up in his bed. For once, he sort of wishes they still had roommates on tour. He wishes someone was there with him, in the dark. That he could at least hear someone else breathing.

He thinks back to sharing a hotel room with Mingyu, and he doesn’t know why Mingyu is the person he thinks of first– but he is, and he’s there, in the back of Jeonghan’s mind. His breaths are slow and steady, and he shuffles around sometimes, in the darkness. He makes soft noises when he dreams.

Jeonghan doesn’t know how or why he remembers all this, but the information lies ready for him in the back of his mind the second he thinks back to it. He wishes Mingyu was there. He’d kill just to watch as he’s sleeping.

Why, though? Why would he want that? This question rolls around in his head like a smooth marble, the answer hiding in its center. He can’t crack it. He can’t even catch the marble.

...

The next day’s concert goes well. It always goes well. Jeonghan knows how that works too; verse, chorus, verse. Dance, sing, repeat. Listen to the people screaming, singing, the people who love you. Revel in it. Drink it like it’s poison and you’re Romeo.

He knows that love is different, the one between idol and fan. It’s love, but it’s not boundless, and it’s not to be taken for granted– although no love should be taken for granted. But that kind of innocent and trusting love especially, Jeonghan thinks. They’ll never really know Jeonghan, who he is at his core, what’s in the center of that marble; they’ll know what he shows them. He doesn’t want them to see his guts or any of the other ugly things inside his chest.

Want, the size of a fist. Want, want, want. There’s a reason your heart is the size of your first. If you love someone, is it a gift or a death sentence?

...

Seventeen are back in South Korea. They’re back at their dorms, and it’s nice not to be alone. Jeonghan likes lying half asleep in his bed listening to the sound of bickering in the living room, or to laughter, depending on the day.

That’s love too.

At some point Jeonghan ends up in Mingyu and Wonwoo’s dorm– he’s there to steal back a beanie Mingyu had nabbed from him on tour. Wonwoo is away, eating dinner with Soonyoung.

Mingyu catches Jeonghan, but he lets Jeonghan take the beanie back anyway, because he’s Mingyu, so of course he does. But he does make Jeonghan stay for dinner. Not that he minds. It’s nice.

Mingu gives Jeonghan the other half of his egg. This is love too.

They’re a few drinks in when Jeonghan finally broaches the subject that had been hanging in the back of his mind, and he does it carefully, as he does with all things pertaining to the heart, to his core. He knows Mingyu will listen, but it’s still scary.

Jeonghan wants to tell someone, and he also wants to take back everything he’s ever told anyone– he wants to be unknowable. If no one knows him well enough to love him, they won’t know him well enough to stop either.

“Mingyu,” he says. “I’m not sure how you do it.”

“Do what?” Mingyu asks. He’s leaning back against the couch, sitting cross legged on the floor.

“Love,” Jeonghan replies. “You’re so full of it, you know? You’re so full of love. You make it look so easy. It’s almost like you’re not afraid of anything I do.”

‘I do.’ A slip of the tongue that Jeonghan catches a second too late. But Mingyu doesn’t react to it beyond a thoughtful nod.

“Well, love is the point, isn’t it?” Mingyu says.

“What?”

“Love’s the point,” Mingyu repeats. “Of everything. At least that’s what I think. Life wouldn’t be that fun without love, so I try to give out a little love, whenever I can.”

“But how?” Jeonghan says. “How? What if people don’t want it?”

“Everyone wants love.”

“Not everyone.”

“Not you, you mean?”

Jeonghan flinches slightly, drawing his knees up to his chest. “I want love,” he says. “But I… what if someone takes it away?”

“You can’t take love away,” Mingyu says. “Once you give it to someone, it’s not yours anymore. I gave you half of my egg. You’ve eaten it. That love is in you now.”

“But it’s gone,” Jeonghan says. “If that was your love, I wouldn’t have eaten it. I would’ve kept it.”

“What if it started to smell?”

“I’d still keep it. It’s still love.”

“So it wouldn’t matter what I thought, would it? Or what anyone else thought? It’d still be love to you?”

“I guess,” Jeonghan says. “I guess so. But what if the other person– what if they eat the egg? Or throw it away?”

“I think I’m losing you in the metaphor, hyung.”

“What if you love someone and they don’t care, or they don’t want your love, they don’t think it’s good? What if my love isn’t good? What if it’s just– just a rotten egg?”

Mingyu looks at him for a long time in silence before he speaks again. “Then you keep loving them. You keep loving them, because they can’t take that away from you either,” he pauses. He’s still looking at Jeonghan. “You love them until they realize they deserve it.”

“... Deserve it?”

“Isn’t that the core of it?” Mingyu asks. “Not being sure if you deserve love, or to love– isn’t that what you mean?”

Jeonghan gnaws on the inside of his cheek, and he feels see through. Paper thin. Mingyu’s cracking the marble in his head open like an egg against a countertop.

“I think it’s more about want,” Jeonghan says at length.

“Aren’t they the same?”

“Sometimes,” Jeonghan says. “But not always. Love is… I love the members. They’re my friends, family, whatever’s closer than that– but I don’t… I don’t want them. They don’t want me.”

Mingyu hesitates for a moment again, “are you sure?”

“What?”

“Are you sure they don’t want you?”

Jeonghan blinks back at Mingyu, who’s surveying him steadily, although his ears have gone red. His palms are pressed flat against the hardwood floor, his knuckles white, like he’s trying to dig his fingers into the wood.

“I guess not,” Jeonghan says, very quietly.

He’s suddenly aware of the silence around them, that it’s just the two of them and no one else. Jeonghan is alone in a room with his want, and with Mingyu, and–

And they’re the same thing, he realizes. This is what he wants.

Loving Mingyu is so easy he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it; that he’s been doing it for years. He wants to share this revelation with Mingyu, this ground shattering information, that it's love, of course it's love, but it’s also want– it’s want so bad that it hurts, and if he wants something, he can’t have it. Jeonghan knows this.

So he doesn’t say it. Mingyu doesn’t say anything either.

They sit in the living room, only a few feet apart, but Jeonghan can’t touch Mingyu. Mingyu can’t touch Jeonghan. They both know this. But if Jeonghan just inched his hand forwards a bit, he could grab Mingyu’s pinky with his own.

There’s a heat growing in between them, tension, something unspoken.

How long can you want something without asking for it? If you wish long enough to stop wanting it, does the want go away? Jeonghan supposes he’ll find out.

Mingyu leans over, and Jeonghan thinks for one crazy moment that he’s going to kiss him, but he grabs a bottle of water from the other side of the table. Jeonghan’s eyes follow him the whole way. He watches as Mingyu opens the water bottle and brings it to his lips, watches him swallow it, watches him lick his lips afterwards. Jeonghan feels like he’s going to die.

He feels impatient all of a sudden. He doesn’t want to wait to find out, he wants to know now– if it’s true, if it’s real. And at the same time Jeonghan doesn’t want to know, he thinks it might be better if he never finds out. There would be consequences, dire ones.

Think of something you want, something you can’t have. Put yourself in a room with it. How would you stop your soul from reaching out and touching it?

Jeonghan offers to do the dishes. Mingyu says he’ll dry them. They stand next to each other at the kitchen sink, heat against heat.

Are they really not going to talk about it, Jeonghan wonders? Is Mingyu just going to leave it there? It seems unlike Mingyu to do that, but then he thinks– it’s very like Jeonghan. It’s like himself to leave it there, unsaid, unfinished. If you can’t be sure what something is, how could anyone judge it? Isn’t it better to not know? To keep adding to his collection of marbles?

This one is pink. Its core is soft and gooey, sticky like honey.

Mingyu smells like honey.

And Mingyu is loving Jeonghan, in his way– by not prying, not asking for more than Jeonghan can give him. He’s loving him in his way, and Jeonghan; Jeonghan loves Mingyu in his way. By keeping him at arm's length.

I'm a danger to myself

[arundels]

Ship/Member: Any (consider any of the 95z?)
Major Tags: implied suicide references in magnolia
Additional Tags: feeling like the bad guy, knowing you're out of control but not knowing what to do about it, freewheeling straight towards disaster
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

There's no way tonight, as far as I know
That heaven will take me, so I'm staggering home
Wretched and wild, all glory and trash
Yeah, I'm drunk but I'm ready to kick some fucking ass

- 'Magnolia', Gang of Youths

&

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 'Anti-Hero', Taylor Swift

even occasional greatness will destroy a man

[svteen]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. It depends in part on the myth-making imagination of humankind. The person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth he is in. He must reflect what is projected on him. And he must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples him from his own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits him to move within himself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a man.

—Frank Herbert, Dune

moebius strip

[corar]

Ship/Member: Jihan (but I am also open to any other pairings)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: MCD, Noncon

Prompt:

You live inside me, the same way I live inside you. A moebius strip, a snake always swallowing its own tail. Mutually assured destruction, maybe, or mutual deification. Mutual consumption. I will be the house that holds every part of you.

― mabel martin

[lachrymosy]

Ship/Member: Any (but consider: wonhui!)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

我肯定在幾百年前就說過愛你
只是你忘了　我也沒記起

Hundreds of years ago, I surely said "I love you"
It’s just that you forgot and I don’t remember

– 愛人錯過 (Somewhere in time) by 告五人 Accusefive

&

In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

– Everything Everywhere All At Once

[FILL] i’ve crashed into you too many times to count

[sunwalkr]

Ship/Member: junhui/wonwoo
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: soulmates/reincarnation au, eeaou au (kinda), love is sometimes not enough to carry you through all of it and sometimes it leaves you wondering if there is more to it than that, ambiguous ending
Permission to remix: please ask!
wc: 1k

a/n: tbh i am not really sure where this is going in the end but i did think wonhui fit this prompt rly well T__T an exercise in tone/style if you will!! hope you enjoy, and thank you for prompting!

***

In spite of everything, it didn’t matter. Maybe it never did.

In spite of everything — despite everything — Wonwoo had Junhui.

There was no escaping some people. Or some ends.

/

In the beginning, Wonwoo was delighted by Junhui. There was nothing like the first life, when everything was new and bright and brilliant, possibility stretching beyond their imagination. Back when there wasn’t a definitive boundary for what was and what couldn’t be. What could never be.

(Imagination runs out. No one ever tells you that. Everything gets old, if you only give it time.)

“I’ll love you forever and ever!” Junhui yelled into the deluge of rain. He looked back at Wonwoo, mouth smiling, t-shirt clinging to his back.

Wonwoo stood under the awning of the restaurant, safe and warm and dry. His mouth was quirked up slightly, small but genuine. He felt the moment stretch on and on and on, confident that the feeling would last.

Forever was a long time. It was their first life. Wonwoo wouldn’t know any better until a little further down the road.

/

It took a while for the magic to wear off. 717 lives, to be exact.

They had cats, dogs, rabbits, ducks. A whole zoo. They lived in cities, cramped apartments, forests, alongside lakes and rivers. Traveled the world, stayed right at home. They had minutes, days, months, years. Centuries. A lifetime of love, and then some more. The memories never stuck with Wonwoo, but the feelings did. They always did.

Wonwoo had lived through every iteration under the sun with Junhui. It was only natural for him to start wondering, Isn’t there anything else?

Wasn’t there anything more?

/

Sometimes loving someone could be used against them. Things like, “Of course I know how you like your soup,” turned into, “Why on earth do you always have to have your soup this way?”

Sometimes loving someone wasn’t enough. Sometimes love drove them to do horrible things. To each other. To other people. With other people as their witness, Wonwoo and Junhui pushed each other to the edge.

A stranger in a bed, young and beautiful and nothing at all like —

A bloodied kiss, whispered apologies, the kiss of a blade pushed through thin weathered lungs —

Countless arguments beating down on a roof until it caved in, cracking them both wide open —

Sometimes love made Wonwoo mean. Sometimes it made Junhui terrible.

The way Junhui liked his soup never changed: spice, a lot of it, tons of it, to the point where it became unbearable.

Wonwoo could not stomach it.

/

They were sitting on their couch, Wonwoo ramrod straight and proper while Junhui was sprawled everywhere all at once, his long limbs askew. It was dark, Junhui’s head pillowed in Wonwoo’s lap. They were a couple dollars short on the electricity bill that month.

“I have you,” Junhui grinned, like they were co-conspirators and it was some grand adventure they planned together, instead of the truth: money was hard to come by and Wonwoo was tired of finding ends that met.

“I have you,” Junhui closed a hand over Wonwoo’s, whose hands remained rigid and stiff with embarrassment. “That’ll be enough.”

Would it?

The only source of light was the flickering of the streetlamp outside — it cast a sickly neon glow over the landscape of Junhui’s features, stretching shadows and elongating other ghosts. Suddenly, Wonwoo found it hard to look at Junhui.

He traced circles instead, silent, wishing for a different life. Wonwoo wondered why he was so unhappy when a version of Junhui existed in every one of his stories for as long as Wonwoo could remember.

“Do you believe in soulmates?” Junhui asked, except he was really asking, Do you believe in us?

Junhui always had this roundabout way of asking questions that endeared Wonwoo until it started to grate on him.

Because that’s what he and Wonwoo were to each other, weren’t they? Soulmates. Tied together with a red string. Fate. Destiny. But how many times could two people be thrown together until they got tired of colliding?

He was starting to wear thin, Wonwoo realized.

“Of course I do,” Wonwoo muttered, a beat too late. He didn’t notice the way Junhui’s expression shuttered close, as if steeling himself.

/

Wonwoo sat and stared at their dinky little laundromat until the sight of it made him sick. All of his failures, actualized. Physical proof of how badly he’d messed up in this life.

“Aren’t you happy?” Junhui tilted his head sadly.

How can I be? Wonwoo wanted to snarl. Look around us! How did I let it come to this?

“I am,” Junhui responded, when Wonwoo took too long to respond. Quietly. Sharply, like the baring of teeth. Or a heart pricked too many times to count.

“I am happy.” Junhui repeated, but the gesture was hallowed out, worn thin. They watched another cycle started up, beating around and around again in circles.

/

“You’re sure this is what you want,” Junhui asked.

Wonwoo nodded once, sharply. He didn’t say anything to hide the trembling question in his throat — Would this make things better? Was this the right thing to do?

Give me a sign, Wonwoo implored silently. I don’t know what to do anymore.

They’d stopped saying I love you a long time ago.

Junhui stared at him, eyes shining. Wonwoo wanted to laugh. Even after all these years, Junhui felt like some unreadable creature to him. There were still depths to explore.

“Okay,” Junhui nodded, impossibly brave. He took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m letting you go now, Wonwoo.”

/

In this life, Junhui walks past Wonwoo like they have not shared any time at all together. There is nothing that links them together. There is no thread.

But the body remembers.

Wonwoo feels his heart stop beating. He is arrested by the slope of this stranger’s nose, by the broadness of his shoulders, his lithe and lean physique. Before he can think too much about it, Wonwoo’s hand darts out to stop Junhui.

Junhui smiles, but it looks foreign. Too polite. It doesn't burst at the seams, doesn’t explode with warmth. Disappointment rises, although Wonwoo doesn’t quite know why.

“Do I know you?” Junhui asks.

“Sorry to have bothered you,” Wonwoo retracts his hand, heart seizing in his throat. “I thought you were someone else.”

transport me out of my mind

[hoshism]

Ship/Member: Chan/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: first time/sexual exploration perhaps?
Do Not Wants: dubious consent/noncon/etc

Prompt:

I’m what you need, I’m what you want
You feel like love at the right time
Cool breeze on a hot night

Come to me, I’ll love you, love you
Oh Come to me, I’ll lay you down
Come to me, I’ll love you, love you
Oh Come to me, I’ll lay you down

— 1-800-MLKYWAY, Rakiyah

wish you were in my room

[kwontent]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: looking back on a failed relationship and not knowing why it didn’t work out… OR some fluff with scary movies…
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

You always want to watch
Somethin' late at night
That terrifies you
And then you make me stand guard
At the bedroom door
I wanna know everythin' you do

No, I never mind
Do it a thousand times
Just let me close to you
'Cause in the dead of night
With you by my side
There's no cold that could cut through

Do you miss me too?

- wildcat | still woozy

[seokmin_liker]

Ship/Member: any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: failmarriage? loving someone and resenting them at the same time
Do Not Wants: none

Prompt:

Pulling my hair back cause you like my neck
Have you been sleeping enough lately?
Sometimes I hate you, but you know I care

- House, The Ophelias

honey, i don't feel so good, don't feel justified

[madeoutcreek]

Ship/Member: Joshua/Any, Wonwoo/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: established relationship, emotional fatigue, being painfully aware of the fact that your problems are making your partner starve for your affection and reciprocity, the other side of renegade by big red machine
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Here's the best part, distilled for you
But you want what I can't give to you
Your hands are grabbing while my hands are tied
I can't love you how you want me to

- Boygenius, Bite The Hand

You're growing tired of me
You love me so hard and I still can't sleep
You're growing tired of me
And all the things I don't talk about

- Mitski, A Pearl

[corar]

Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Joshua (romantic or platonic)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: MCD, Noncon

Prompt:

Among the prime numbers there are some that are even more special. Mathematicians call them twin primes: they are pairs of prime numbers that are close to one another, almost neighbours, but between them there is always an even number that prevents them from truly touching. Numbers like 11 and 13, like 17 and 19, 41 and 43. If you have the patience to go on counting, you discover that these pairs gradually become rarer. You encounter increasingly isolated primes, lost in that silent, measured space made only of numbers, and you become aware of the distressing sense that the pairs encountered up until that point were accidental, that solitude is the true destiny. Then, just when you’re about to surrender, when you no longer have any desire to go on counting, you come across another pair of twins, clutching each other tightly.

― Paolo Giordano

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Loving someone because of their flaws, not despite it
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

“you’re not a monster,” i said. but i lied. what i really wanted to say was that a monster is not such a terrible thing to be. from the latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the old french to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. to be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.

- ocean vuong, from on earth we’re briefly gorgeous.

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Loving someone while mentally ill??
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

“my mother’s trust issues are leaking into my chest
and I’ve got my father’s nose and his tendency to
stop calling back
so I’m sorry
about the 9 missed calls I have from you
and the 6 voicemails I never played
I swear I’d love you if I could”

— extrasad on tumblr

[keyofreason]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: Growing up together
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

“The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it.”

― Mikko Harvey

little men

[(Anonymous)]

Ship/Member: Any but if possible, seokwoo? or wonhui?
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: not really a break-up, idol-verse, famous/non-famous dynamics, major differences
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

"You'll find some lovely accomplished girl, who will adore you, and make a fine mistress for your fine house. I wouldn't. I'm homely and awkward and odd and you'd be ashamed of me and we would quarrel - we can't help it even now! - I'd hate elegant society and you'd hate my scribbling and we would be unhappy and wish we hadn't done it and everything will be horrid."

"Anything more?"

"Nothing more-- except that... I don't believe I will ever marry. I'm happy as I am, and love my liberty too well to be in any hurry to give it up."

"You will care for somebody, and you'll love him tremendously, and live and die for him. I know you will, it's your way, and you will and... I'll watch."

from Little Women (2019)

[FILL] synonyms for confession

[hyojungss]

Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Junhui
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse if you like..., that tweet that went like wonwoo wants to be jo so bad but he's laurie, “I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror”, heavily inspired by but divergent from little women (2019)
Permission to remix: Yes

***


“We can’t date,” Junhui says.

It’s five days after Wonwoo said something, an ill-advised and clumsy decision. No one thought it would be him, and worse, no one thought Junhui would say anything but yes, or me too, or whatever it is that would be a positive response to Wonwoo doing the equivalent of walking in front of an incoming train and waiting for someone to save him, the red warning lights flashing in tandem.

“Junhui—”

Junhui can’t even look at him now, launching into his next prepared spiel. “And you must be wondering why I drove you all the way out here just to reject you. Well— I think you deserve an explanation.”

“I don’t think I—”

“You see, Wonwoo, it’s not that I don’t like you. In fact— it’s not about that. I really do care about you so much, Wonwoo. You mean so much to me, and you don’t know it and I don’t say it. I swear.”

“But you don’t love me,” Wonwoo says.

Junhui falters briefly, then continues: “It’s not about that. It’s not even about me. It’s because I— think so highly of you that I don’t want to hurt you. Wonwoo, I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never hate you.”

Junhui spares a glance. Wonwoo is looking over the metal railing at the evening skyline of Seoul, the city before them. The wind threading itself through Wonwoo’s hair the way he once did, and later wished he could.

“You never gave me a chance to explain myself. You just ran away,” Wonwoo says. When Junhui doesn’t answer— “I didn’t say what I said just for fun.”

“And I know that, Wonwoo, and I took it seriously. Really. It’s just so— difficult.”

“Difficult,” Wonwoo repeats.

Junhui takes a deep breath. “I think— you deserve better than me, Wonwoo.”

“Who are you to say what I deserve.”

“I know you, Wonwoo,” Junhui says, vehemently. “I know what you want and what you value and I know you just— I know in that moment you just loved me too much, too irrationally, and that it goes against everything you stand for and hold sacred. And I knew you would regret it, as you did.”

“I didn’t,” Wonwoo responds, but with false conviction, the sunset bleeding in the backdrop of the sky. “The regret was fleeting.”

“You can’t see yourself the way I do,” Junhui asserts. “And you know that I’m silly and make awful jokes and don’t think too hard about things and you always consider things from every angle and I just can’t believe you didn’t think this through. You must have been blinded to that because you liked me so much, you couldn’t even think about how I’d never work for you. I’d never last with you. You’d fall out of love with me.”

“Listen to what you’re saying,” Wonwoo says, voice tight. “You’re the one who’s overthought this.”

“I don’t want to get hurt because you didn’t,” Junhui returns. “You might not be capable of hating me, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still hurt me. It’s better to be scratched than knifed,” he says. “And you’ll find someone else.”

“Junhui,” Wonwoo says slowly, searching his eyes, “I want you.”

Junhui exhales. “I don’t think I can love you how you want me to and how you need me to. I don’t know if I can love anyone that much.”

“You’re wrong,” Wonwoo answers, reaching for his hand and making the barest contact before Junhui wrenches it away. “I know you can and you have. And one day you will see it too. I never wanted more than you could give me.”

“I just don’t have that much faith in myself.”

Wonwoo draws back and looks at him desperately. “What about what you want, Jun-ah? Can’t you be selfish for once?”

“I want you to be happy,” Junhui answers.





***

A/N: and then (some weeks later after further agonies) they get together. happy ending!!!

if i could

[(Anonymous)]

Ship/Member: any but consider minghao :]]
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: rebound relationships, acknowledging that it’s not love in the way you want
Do Not Wants: infidelity

Prompt:

You wanna be my new home
But baby, let up, I won't ever recognize these roads
'Cause I am lost, but not in you
Yes, I am lost, but not in you

- NIKI, Anaheim