17hols | Round 1 2023: Quotes

Round 1 2023: Quotes

Status: Closed

This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.

Seventeen Holidays

Round 1: Quotes

About

"Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time."

"How inconvenient to be made of desire."

"It's me, hi, I'm the problem its me."

Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy WeVerse drama.

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Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Do Not Wants: None Prompt: <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote>

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Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask ***

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Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a>

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Navigation

< ROUND 1: QUOTES >

ROUND 2: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

2021

2022

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Ship/Member: Jeonghan (/Any)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse/canonverse always appreciated!
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I can change everything about me to fit in
You are not like the regulars
The masquerade revelers
Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

–“Mirrorball,” Taylor Swift

LET'S GOOOOOOOO THANK U FOR THIS DELICIOUS FOOD
i love this progression from jihan can you please just be normal for once without doing this insane dance around what you WANT to the most tender but understated moment (ofc jeonghan is drunk and joshu is just down the worst but. we take what we can get). IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS.

i like how you fit so much backstory into these scenes and give really effective glimpses into their dynamic/history together. "He’d let Jeonghan pretend, though." can be something soooo love language... but ESPECIALLY when it comes to jeonghan... i also think it's so cool how you sort of flipped the pov of the prompt like.. joshua IS lonely but jeonghan is the one who misses him enough to call!

i'm so happy you took on this fill AND I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MORE SEBTINS FROM YOUUUU

p.s. joshua hong who does not appreciate unexpected phone calls... that's capricorn representation babiee

this is so lovely... i liked the lines Let him pretend to be selfish, Joshua had thought. It made him feel less bad about how much he wanted Jeonghan to stay. so much, both of them knowing without having to say how they feel. and After years of spending nearly every waking moment together (and some sleeping moments too), maybe they didn’t know how to be without being together. how it's ironically more difficult to sleep when there's less people around, and how just hearing jeonghan's voice and talking is enough to make shua feel like he's with family... i really enjoyed this and want to thank you also for choosing jihan bc i think they're a wonderful pairing to capture the essence of the prompt quote. thank you!!

op i am OBSESSED with this!! there is so much good here.. starting with the details of the piano pieces and training, the reckoning of prodigy-proximity as a personality trait, the not-quite-friends familiarity of the competitive juniors circuit - the world feels so real and it gets the reader to care about the music as part of caring about the story and the characters. and your characters!! i love how you set up the uncertainty and the progression of unrealized *yearning* from junhui's pov, as well as his conviction in avoiding shua when he thinks he has to.

junhui wanted to ask what he meant. who "we" were? was it because they were both men? was it because they were competing against each other the next month? was it because joshua had simply never seen him as more? such a real thought process, and of course joshua hong would never say more if he didn't have to...

the first part was not essential. half of junhui's friends don't even know where he lived freshman year. yet junhui chooses to establish a connection before them anyways. jun you are so jun...

"i'll see you next time," junhui had said to the moon, and only the moon. sigh...

the last scene is soooo perfect :'))) i appreciate the open-endedness and pure joy, the way it brings the story back to the theme of youth and acts as a reminder that they haven't yet lost it, even with all the hard work and heartbreak. i really love the source material of the prompt, and your fill builds off/expands it in such an excellent and original way. thank you sm for sharing!!

Edited 2023-01-09 03:49 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: i'm open to MCD in the fill but it's definitely not required
Additional Tags: something about grief, but from a healing perspective? for me that’s part of what i like about sbg: it is quite sad, but it’s also about moving forward. the grief in question could be for various things – a relationship, a person, a future that didn’t work out, etc
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Dark clouds wordlessly depart
Love we then left unspoken
You are now gone
I must go on

[...]

At the boarding gate
My direction, my past
I half-remember, half-forget
There’s a path but no heart to take it
How long must a person wait
Before they can say, ‘I’m okay’?

– from Silent Boarding Gate by Jun (t/n: this translation is my take on the lyrics, but you can find other takes here, here, and probably other places lol. it’s a tricky song to convey in english...i tried my best rip ;-;)

Ship/Member: any ship that moves you, but i think wonchan could work rly well; maybe seokgyu ?
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: canon/idolverse (but if an AU is what gets you inspired then go for it!) ; loving someone even if theyre indifferent to you ; wanting someone's attention to our own detriment/pigtail pulling ; potential ideas for inspo: to love someone must we also like them? pining/unrequited love/seemingly unrequited love? annoying someone into interacting with you? making up after a fight? a crush so big you lose sight of how to act? realizing once you actually start dating you have nothing in common? a relationship past its due date? you decide!
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

So in love and yet nothing to talk about
Please be nice to me
Okay, now be mean
As long as there's something to talk about
Please be nice to me
Okay, now be mean
As long as there's something to talk about

- Dr. Johann Averies by Daneshevskaya (whole song is worth a listen/read as well for potential inspo, very short)

Edited (formatting) 2023-01-09 08:21 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Jeonghan & Chan, very background implied jeongcheol, this could be read as literally anything
Major Tags: NA
Additional Tags: dystopian AU, hot mv inspired, chan centric, chan POV, mentions about death, mentions of retching, this is very vague
Permission to remix: No
1.9k words, not beta-ed, I'm not sure if this is what the prompter had in mind but please accept my humble fill :) ao3 link
this is my first ever 17hols fill :) hope you like it. this could also be considered a part of the same universe as this or be read as a standalone

***

It all happened too fast. Too fucking fast.

One moment Chan was trying to fight off one of them that had been able catch him off guard and the next moment Jeonghan was in front of him, shoving him behind himself and placing him behind the protection of his massive wings.

Chan wanted to tell him off, throw a tantrum about how he didn't need his help and how he was perfectly fine of fighting for himself, protecting himself but then suddenly Jeonghan was on his knees, crumbling down under his own weight. He tried to support him but was only able to slow down his fall, the added weight of the metal wings weighing both of them down.

With Jeonghan on the ground he could clearly see that he was able to take down the one Chan had been fighting with the metal piece sticking out from his neck but something was wrong, very wrong. There was an empty syringe next to him, the shape and color of which was something Chan had learned to know by his heart. Something he dreaded and something that brought back memories, the kind that he would rather keep buried in the deepest parts of his mind.

But now was not the time for any of that, he just needed to know if that person had been successful in injecting Jeonghan. He quickly went to the front to look at their resident angel, kneeling down to mirror his position but not before kicking that man far to the side. He didn't need him anywhere near them even though he was dead.

One look at Jeonghan was enough to confirm his deepest fear. The angel was on his knees, the color of his skin turning into a deathly white rapidly. There was blood marring his pale face, it made him look terrifying especially with the large metal wings that sprouted from his back.

He looked every bit like the nightmare Chan had been told he was when he was first brought into the facility. Oh how ignorant they had all been, Jeonghan was not a monster. He was far from it, he could never be the monster they painted him to be. The irony of it all was not lost to him given how they had been the ones to turn him the way he was now.

"Hyung, Jeonghannie hyung look at me," Chan said, his voice surprisingly level, scarily contradictory to how fast his heart was beating. Jeonghan's eyes were glassy with a sheen Chan knew all too well but he could see him trying to shake himself awake.

"I am." Came Jeonghan's reply in a hoarse voice, so different from his usual sweet, airy voice that always made it seem like he was speaking in a fairytale.

"Okay, it's going to be okay. I'm going to take you back to our safety spot and then I'm going to call Seungcheol hyung. You're going to be okay." Chan told him as he held his face in both hands and brought their foreheads together, the skin of his face uncharacteristically cool to the touch.

They were not that far from where they had set up their temporary camp in an abandoned warehouse. He should be able to take both of them back within ten minutes max. Seungkwan should still be there if they had hopefully not ambushed their space too.

"Hyung-hyung I'm going to try and pick you up now, okay? At the count of three, okay?" Chan tilts his head back a bit to look at Jeonghan who is looking back at him with a small smile. Chan would have silently marveled at the rare sight had it not made an appearance in such a tense situation.

Jeonghan suddenly shook his head at him before resting his forehead against Chan's shoulder, slumping down against him. He could feel his warm breath fan against his neck but even that was not enough to quench the fear he felt at the action. He was about to ask him what happened when Jeonghan spoke up.

"It's not worth it," was what he said in a low whisper, his voice so low that it almost got lost in the sudden ringing that took over Chan's ears. He tightened his hold around Jeonghan, a different kind of fear chilling his bones. It was not a possibility. Never in a million years had he even considered the possibility of what Jeonghan was trying to insinuate.

"Don't. Don't say that. Don't joke about it like that." Chan was surprised at how strong it came out, he was nearly not able to recognise the intensity in his own voice. He had never talked like this before, especially not to Jeonghan.

"What we're going to do is take you back to the warehouse and what you're not going to do is make it difficult for us," he tells Jeonghan, his hold on him still tight as if he was afraid of him slipping away. Chan stood up first and fixed his grip around Jeonghan, huffing a breath as he helped him stand.

It was more difficult with how much the injection had started affecting Jeonghan, his energy level going down more and more but he could see him trying his best to hold his weight. He put Jeonghan's arm around his shoulder and gripped his waist tight, making sure that he was supported before they started making their way back.

The walk was quiet for most of it apart from the muffled painful whimpers from Jeonghan and his own labored breaths. They only stopped once when Jeonghan had to empty his stomach at the side, it was the all the more reason he needed to move them faster.

Seungkwan saw the both of them before Chan even realised they were at the warehouse. He rushed towards them and helped Chan prop Jeonghan up, supporting the other side of his body.

"What happened?" Seungkwan asked him as the laid Jeonghan down near one of the walls, propping him upright and making sure not to jostle his wings too much.

"They got him. Syringe. Bring Seungcheol or Joshua. Anyone." Chan told him as he searched for anything that would keep Jeonghan warm. It was enough for Seungkwan to understand the situation as he picked up his own machete and was rushing out the door, not before screaming at him to not let Jeonghan fall asleep.

When he had found multiple sheets and covers he quickly wrapped them around Jeonghan. The quietness of the room was uncomfortable in a way that made Chan's skin crawl with anticipation for the worst. He wanted to speak or say something to break the silence but the words were stuck in his throat. It must've showed on his face because Jeonghan spoke up instead.

Because of course he would.

"Channie I'm bored," his voice comes out surprisingly put together. He had stopped shivering now which was somewhat a good sign.

"Just some more time, Seungkwan will be here with them any moment." Chan told Jeonghan as he turned to look at him, the colours of the sunset from the broken window paint him in a beautiful blue and purple.

He was so beautiful.

Jeonghan only let out an annoyed whine like the child he became when he didn't get his way.

"I'm dying of boredom ugh, entertain me," Jeonghan spoke again and now Chan had half a mind to leave him be if he was going to be so impossible.

"Just a bit more and then we'll put up a performance for you, I'll even request Joshua hyung to lend us his music player." He told Jeonghan who has become suspiciously quiet. When Chan turned to see him he's looking back at him with an expression he doesn't remember ever seeing on his face. It's unsettling.

"Or maybe I'm just dying," maybe it was better when Jeonghan kept his mouth shut. Chan could endure the tense silence over this any time.

"You're not dying." Chan told him fiercely, his voice hard and Jeonghan only gave him another small smile.

"I'm just joking Channie." Jeonghan raised up his hands defensively, his lips curved up in a mischievous smile as if he hadn't just made a joke about dying, about leaving them behind in this hellhole.

"Will you hug me?" It came out in a small whisper, the previous lightness in his voice now gone.

"Of course I will." Chan said as he wrappped his arms around Jeonghan, holding him close to himself. They stay like that for a bit, where the fuck are they? Jeonghan is still as cold as before but it doesn't seem like his temprature has dropped any more which was a good thing.

"Was I a good hyung to you Channie?" Jeonghan asked him trying to tilt his head up to look at him, Chan doesn't let him. He held his head close to his chest instead. He didn't want to see the expression on his face, afraid that it'll give a sense of realness to the possibility of whatever he was trying to convey.

"You can always be a better one. You are not going anywhere. Don't talk as if you are." His own voice has lost it's earlier hard egde now. It feels cruel to speak to him like that now, Chan won't do that to him.

Jeonghan's reply came in the form of a small, breathless laugh.

"Oh my Channie has grown up so much." Chan ignored the wetness on his neck where Jeonghan was snugly resting his face. He ignored the wetness on his face too, it's just sweat he told himself.

"If things don't go as expected, tell Joshua to do it because Seungcheol won't. He's stubborn and an asshole like that, won't even respect my last wish." He knows what Jeonghan is talking about. This is a conservation they've had before as a group. Jeonghan if it was Joshua or Seungcheol and Joshua if it was Jeonghan because Seungcheol would never take a decision like that. Wouldn't subject himself to the pain of having the blood of his friends on his hands.

"If I sing for you now, will you stop talking?" Chan asked him in a pleading voice, he couldn't listen to Jeonghan talk about dying anymore. Talk as if he won't just take away a part of all of them if he does.

"Ohh well well, now look at that. Now you want to entertain me." He said in a teasing voice and Chan woudl take it. He'd take any amount of teasing if it meant Jeonghan not talking about death.

He started singing. It was a lullaby that Jeonghan would often sing at night after all of them had survived another day. It felt different to hear it in his own voice, so vastly different from Jeonghan's but it's worth it when the elder joined, singing along with him.

It was not too long until Seungcheol came running to them with everyone else in tow. He was just as bloody and bruised as all of them but he had a worried glint in his eyes as he took in the sight of them both. But with how determined Seungcheol was to make sure all of them get out this alive, Chan knew Jeonghan was not going to die. No matter how much it seemed like he had resigned to his fate, he was just as desparate to live as each one of them.

Jeonghan was going to be just fine and then both of them were going to pretend this conversation never took place.

They will make out of here alive. No one gets left behind.

Edited 2023-01-09 10:01 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Jihoon/Minghao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: something inspired by the making of haicheng, or jihoon writing the korean version himself.. 꿈걸음
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Minghao: I feel like the lyrics are a perfect match between my emotions and Woozi's emotions. Because it's a song that perfectly expressed who Woozi and I are.

Ship/Member: Jihoon/Minghao, (i was thinking about inserting mingyu here but it's totally up to the author)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags:
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Jihoon: And I chose Melon for his fruit. Myungho likes Melons.
Mingyu: How do you know that?
Jihoon: I always knew that.

(From their 4th Anniversary Cocktail Party)

this goes so fucking hard. thank you so much for writing this and thank you op for prompting

i've been re-reading this over and over and this fic has basically eaten away at my brain. thank you so much

HI FRIEND!
now xposted to ao3

Ship/Member: gyuhan (sorry)
Major Tags: substance abuse
Additional Tags: There is Something Wrong With Everyone in This, based off of ottessa moshfegh's year of r&r, explicit content
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Whenever Jeonghan woke up, he would shuffle through the day’s brightness and cut through the city in order to get coffee from the same corner shop on Finchley Road, which was objectively a shithole, but he liked the way the cashier smiled at him each time, because it helped him remember until he took Ambien and trazodone and Valium until he fell asleep again. A few months went by.

If he wanted variety, he would order Chinese takeout from the place across the street and find himself booking appointments for restaurants in his sleep. He always called back to cancel, but he hated doing this.

In the beginning, he would diligently have his laundry done for him. A cleaning service would come by once a week to pick up his pile from him and he would have them returned a few days later. Now, his clothes were strewn all over his apartment. He just no longer cared. Eventually, the sound of the washer and dryer was too much for him anyway, so he just threw away his dirty clothes and would buy new ones in turn, if he even remembered to do so.

He left the apartment infrequently; only doing so to sustain himself and to avoid people knocking at his door, their faux-concern far too cloying for his brain. It was enough to pick up his prescription medication that way; for him to stare at the pharmacist with disdain and for him to ignore the way she would look at him pitifully through her horn-rimmed glasses until he had to do it all over again. Jeonghan hated her, but she was kind to him and she never asked questions, although she annoyed him. So he grunted back at her and hoped that was enough. His father’s financial advisor handled things for him, anyways, and apparently he had more than enough in his savings account for him to continue his lifestyle for a year;

His year of rest and relaxation.

Mingyu frowned at Jeonghan. "You can’t just disappear on us.” He placed his arms on the side of the couch, nearly touching Jeonghan, who was lying down with a hand over his forehead.

“I can for a year,” Jeonghan retorted, not looking him in the eye. “I’ve already planned everything.”

“You can’t just plan to disappear, then,” Mingyu amended, still frowning. “It makes no sense.”

“It does, actually.” It did to Jeonghan. He was tired; tired of the way he had to perform niceties in the mornings, in the afternoons, in the evenings. Tired of how the few who were close to him would ask him questions; never out of real concern, but rather as a way to either take his money or to sleep with him.

Yoon Jeonghan was lost.

He’d lost his job earlier in the year as a nurse. He found himself deliberately endangering people by slacking during work and when his boss had yelled at him with spittle flying into his face, Jeonghan had told him to go fuck himself and he walked out, as simple as that. He didn’t really need the job, anyways. He had enough inheritance to keep him going on for two more lives, once he was done squandering the first.

Mingyu spluttered at Jeonghan, who just shrugged weakly in response.
“What are you going to do for a year?”

“Sleep,” Jeonghan replied. It was alluring to him. He had trouble sleeping most nights, and he was looking forward to conking out in a fit of medication. He’d taken Xanax at a party once and had fallen asleep on the couch there and then. It felt as though he disappeared from reality; was somehow transcendent, in-between places. It sounded like a fine idea to him.

“It sounds like a fine idea to me,” Jeonghan said, shrugging again. He didn’t really see the problem. He’d arranged for Mingyu to check in on him monthly, to make sure he wasn’t dying or dead in the process. Jeonghan was semi-healthy, other than his gross substance abuse. His kidneys would be fine, or so he thought, and he turned to Mingyu with something that could have been generously described as a smile. “I don’t see the problem.” He really didn’t.

The week prior, he’d tested his theory and found that the world was so much better when it was dulled by the hazy film of sleep. Time drifted on slowly in a thin blanket that enveloped him whole. His shirts were crusty with sweat-stains. The coffee on the bottom of his mugs had solidified into hard granules that would not get rid of themselves without at least three vigorous washes.

“It’s not going to be fine,” Mingyu said. “I’m worried about you, you know? Have you been seeing a therapist?”

“I have,” Jeonghan said. This was not a lie, either. He had been—because where else would he have been obtaining his endless supply of narcotics? But what he couldn’t tell Mingyu was that his therapist was forgetful and absolutely, almost certainly unethical in her practice; what with the way she would prescribe him four different types of benzos on top of each other, as Jeonghan begged her for stronger pills that would cure him from his supposed bouts of sleeplessness. (That had been cured a long while ago. Now, there was only sleep.)

“You’re horrible,” Mingyu said, and he had that expression that Jeonghan was too familiar with, that expression that told Jeonghan that he knew what Jeonghan was doing, but he didn’t want to voice it out loud, lest one of their feelings would get hurt. (It was typically Mingyu who hurt himself that way.)

“I know,” Jeonghan said, with an uncharacteristic tiredness he reserved for when he wanted Mingyu to shut up. Typically, it was often, but he liked to lie to himself and think that he was a good friend to him. That Mingyu would see and understand as to why he wanted a year of quiet.

“Is this because of your grandfather?”

“It’s not,” Jeonghan replied. And it wasn’t really. He couldn’t bear lying to Mingyu on the best of days.

“Okay,” Mingyu said, hurt in his eyes, and he got up to leave. Jeonghan watched him go from the comfort of his sofa, and curled up into a ball, closing his eyes.

He was faintly aware that a cat was meowing incessantly outside of his room. This bothered him, because it interrupted his medicated sleep. When he walked to his balcony to peer at it, it was almost as if it was never there in the first place. He kicked at the empty air and then felt ashamed when he realised how pathetic he felt.

The next morning, Mingyu came to take out the trash.

“I can’t believe how much shit the human body is capable of producing,” Mingyu said while Jeonghan sat stubbornly on the couch; his body a mere extension of it. “Since when did you like Thai?” He held up a container next to Jeonghan's face and he didn’t even flinch at the way the smell of fish sauce had soured over the weeks.

Jeonghan shrugged. “Is this unusual to you?” It was somewhat unusual to him. He ordered Thai whenever his cocktail of drugs got too much for him. Typically, he hated the way curry smelled and preferred bland meals; as if the lack of taste was a blanket for his sleep, both dull and grey.

“All of it is,” Mingyu sighed, and grumbled something out about how he’d have to come with a hazmat suit the next time. Jeonghan thanked God that there was still a next time. Mingyu continued to pick up various bits of trash around Jeonghan's apartment, but he never dared to enter Jeonghan's room. This was fine by him. He didn’t know whether he would be asking for too much, then, but he winced regardless at the thought of Mingyu poking at his crusty bedsheets.

Kim Mingyu was Jeonghan's friend from university. The two of them had known each other for years—in the way that they were no longer tied together by their shared interests, but rather a sense of necessity—and Jeonghan was quietly thankful for him, despite the fact that Mingyu believed in Simply Getting Over Things Through Toxic Positivity as a means of therapy rather than engaging in the practice itself.

Once Mingyu shoved the too-large bag of rubbish down the apartment’s trash chute, he opened Jeonghan's fridge and poured himself a glass of wine, downing it in seconds before disregarding his glass entirely and drinking straight from the bottle instead.

“This is a bit grim,” Mingyu said, grimacing, continuing to gulp the rest of the wine. He wiped his lips, which had turned purple.

“Get your own then.”

“I will,” Mingyu replied. He never did, but that was another part of their unspoken agreement; that Jeonghan would leave alcohol behind for Mingyu to drink excessively while Jeonghan laid on the couch in a medicated stupor; dumb and pliant. Sometimes, when Mingyu thought Jeonghan wasn't looking, he would do lines of coke on his kitchen counter.

Jeonghan knew, of course, but he couldn't bring himself to care all too much.

Mingyu wiped the back of his mouth with his hand and Jeonghan stared at the curve of his jaw before choosing to look out of the windows. “Turn the TV on or something, this is fucking bleak.” Mingyu said.

If Jeonghan was in a better mood, he’d ask Mingyu if he wanted to stay over for dinner and watch his DVDs together. Whenever Mingyu came over, they always ended up watching cable, which Jeonghan disliked. He preferred to watch familiar DVDs that would eat away at his anxieties; their words providing a horrible familiarity. It was almost as if Mingyu felt the need to keep up appearances; wearing gaudish suits that made Jeonghan's head throb and quoting a funny line from the latest TV series that he’d inevitably end up dropping. Jeonghan despised this and almost despised Mingyu for doing so. The problem was that Mingyu was invariably likeable, and Jeonghan was not.

Mingyu's apartment across London was in a building with a lift. It had a private gym—the first of its kind in his area—and it was obnoxiously stylish in the way that only people with established wealth were. Jeonghan's flat, meanwhile, smelled like old laundry and despair. It had a lift from the 60s that had a cage enclosing it and was unreliable in most parts. Despite this, Mingyu somehow preferred going to Jeonghan’s flat. Jeonghan didn’t know why. Jeonghan felt solitary and purposeless whenever he was with Mingyu. He felt a quiet resentment that he couldn’t place; their friendship a cruel parody of the other. He was certain that Mingyu resented him for the way that he fell into his sleep, as well. Almost as if they were trading blows with one another.

Mingyu liked pre-planning his work week in a way that Jeonghan didn’t. His schedule was always full, and there was the implication that he was doing things for Jeonghan as a favour, as if friendship could be measured by the number of times one did another’s laundry for them.

It was a certain sort of cruelness that close friends could only harbour for one another: Especially amongst two friends who had no real reason to be tied to one another due to their lack of interests intersecting. Meanness disguised under concern. Apathy under care. Pain under labour. Jeonghan knew this, and so did Mingyu, and yet the two of them fell into place like ill-fitting jigsaw puzzle pieces. Jeonghan was aware that he would not share this sort of relationship with anyone else, romantic or otherwise. (To think of Mingyu in a romantic light would be a disservice to himself.)

In the distance, one could hear the sound of the Underground. Life chugged along without them.

Jeonghan had been taking Nembutals all day. Sounds turned into mush turned into dust in his ears, and when he came to, he faintly realised that Mingyu was talking to him.
“—And I hate going back home, because they keep asking me about her, but we’re done, you know?”

Jeonghan nodded, not knowing still.

Time passed in an agonising haze.

"What are you looking at?" Jeonghan said. Mingyu was thumbing through Jeonghan's old magazines; their pages yellowed and dog-eared.

"Why do you have these lying around?"

Jeonghan shrugged, not really having an answer. "Do you want some tea?" He felt generous for once. As if brewing one mug of tea for Mingyu would replace all the times he'd lugged trash out of his apartment. He loathed himself for viewing friendship as a series of transactions, yet he felt as though he had to, if only for a moment.

Mingyu eyed him with suspicion. "Do you have any clean mugs?"

"Probably not," Jeonghan admitted. Mingyu laughed; a bright and sudden sound.

"You're an absolute mess," Mingyu said, but there was fondness in his eyes, and Jeonghan felt the world lose its dullness for a split second before it was replaced by a certain kind of dullness, probably brought upon by the fourth Valium he'd popped during the day. He reached out, almost as if to ruffle Jeonghan's hair, but the moment was broken when Jeonghan turned away involuntarily.

They sipped on their chamomile tea in silence.

"Who did you meet the other day?" Mingyu said, pouting unattractively.

"Joshua," Jeonghan replied, scalding his tongue in the process. He wanted to wince, and found that he couldn't.

"Why wasn't I invited?"

Jeonghan shrugged. At the time, he hadn't seen the occasion as particularly notable in that the three of them had to meet. Then again, Mingyu liked to feel as though he were more important than the overall situation. "It wasn't a big deal." It really wasn't.

"Ask me next time," Mingyu said, pouring a glass of beer noisily. It was an IPA of sorts. Jeonghan kept them in his fridge for Mingyu and hoarded foreign lagers for himself. "Do you want some?"

"Yeah, maybe," Jeonghan replied. Mingyu handed him over a bottle and Jeonghan habitually started peeling the corners of its label. Mingyu just sighed at him; his expression indecipherable.

"How are you sleeping?" Jeonghan's therapist, Dr. Lim said over the phone. They hadn't met in person in weeks, partly due to Dr. Lim's strange schedule and Jeonghan's refusal to leave his own flat.

"Poorly," Jeonghan lied. "I've had spotty hours of sleep."

"Tell me more," Dr. Lim said. It was nearly-lewd; the way Jeonghan could tell he was salivating over the prospect of a new diagnosis. Jeonghan hated him, if it weren't for the fact that he would dispense new oddities for him.

Jeonghan rubbed the side of his neck whilst holding the receiver with his other hand. "How do I start?"

Jeonghan then proceeded to tell Dr. Lim falsehoods about his sleep. How he apparently struggled before he wrestled to sleep. How he wanted to pass out, every night, without fail, and yet he was doomed to stare at the crack in the ceiling he'd been meaning to fix. This was only partly a lie. The red light from the shop across the street illuminated his face as he continued to murmur through the phone.

"What about your friend?" Dr. Lim said, suddenly, in the wake of Jeonghan's lies.

"My friend?"

"Kim Mingyu," Dr. Lim said. "He comes over often, does he not?"

"He does," Jeonghan said. His body felt very distant to his own.

"How do you feel about him?"

The simple answer to Dr. Lim's question was that Mingyu fucked Jeonghan sometimes.

"You're not—" Jeonghan said, angling his hips sideways so that Mingyu could thrust deeper into him. "It's not," he said, frustrated.

"I'm not what?" Mingyu said, clearly trying to sound sexy at first. After seeing Jeonghan's look of boredom, he deflated. Mingyu snorted some leftover coke right before they started undressing, and once again, Jeonghan laughed at the idea of Mingyu thinking that he was being discreet. There was a bottle of poppers by the nightstand that Jeonghan had used prior to them fucking.

Mingyu noticed Jeonghan eyeing the brown bottle and sighed. "Do you want me to take them too?" Without stopping for Jeonghan's response, he slipped out of Jeonghan to inhale; throwing his head back with a satisfied sigh. Jeonghan rolled over, waiting for Mingyu to enter him again.

Edited 2023-01-09 15:27 (UTC)

Ship/Member: mingyu, minghao, jeonghan, seokmin, implied gyuhao
Major Tags: n/a
Additional Tags: f1 au, sports are Intricate Rituals constructed by homosexuality, rivalries
Permission to remix: Yes

finally my years of watching f1 and brief caratism has paid off. i am so sorry this was not seokmin centric op i will make it up to you

***

The Weekend of the Belgian Grand Prix

The pit-lane was crowded, because of course it was. Minghao obediently held the front right-wing tyre cover and tried not to make eye contact with Mingyu.

The world's most expensive blankets, he thought, staring down at the tyre cover as it continued to warm up the tyre in front of him.

Mingyu was currently staring ahead into the distance. His visor had not yet been put down, so Minghao gave Mingyu an awkward smile.

Minghao always enjoyed the silence before races. Everyone was hyperfocused and on edge, and he enjoyed the way his mind would eventually filter itself, only surrounding itself with a possible win on the horizon. Some choice tracks of his were playing overhead as the garage slowed itself down to focus on the steady heartbeat of the car.

If mechanics were the vessels leading towards the centre, then the driver was at the very core of it all; its grotesque and still-beating heart. Endless hours pored over setups wouldn't matter if the driver was an absolute tit and fucked it all up.

Don't fuck it up, everyone seemed to say, eyeing Mingyu warily, displeased at the way he'd spun out during his last outlap during their last Free Practice. The steady thudding beat of a house track pulsated throughout the garage, waiting to burst.

With eleven minutes left in Q1 of Qualifying, Minghao's fellow mechanics released their tyre blankets and watched Mingyu exit the pit lane with absolute certainty.

Seokmin, Jeonghan's mechanic, was currently chewing gum as he talked with two hands shoved in his racing suit. He clapped Minghao on the shoulder. "What do you think?

Minghao raised his eyebrows. "About what?"

"Tomorrow's race."

Currently, Jeonghan was projected to do better than Mingyu by the pundits. Minghao gazed into the distance. "Some rivalry can't hurt us, can it?"

***

Mingyu returned, frustrated, eyeing the screen.

P7, it said.

"It's Q1, mate, no worries about it," another mechanic said, and Minghao was inclined to agree. There was no point pushing the car to its limits in the first quarter, after all, when there were two more to go. The final battle would only begin then.

Mingyu just made a frustrated gesture towards his steering wheel instead.

Minghao looked at him. "Is there a problem?"

"No there fucking isn't," Mingyu said.

"Hurry up, mate, out with your complaints, we don't have all day," Rusty said, eyeing him with disdain. Rusty was a middle-aged mechanic from Milton Keynes who liked to proclaim that he was far too old for the shenanigans of a young Korean.

"There...was a lot of understeer right before Radillon," Mingyu said unhappily.

Drivers came up with a lot of excuses. Minghao was getting better at discerning whether they were genuine complaints with the car, or whether they were down to the driver. This time round, he couldn't tell.

He searched Mingyu's face for clues, but he came up with nothing. Mingyu's face remained impassive as ever. Minghao wanted to punch him. The thought was sudden and swift, but it winded him all the same.

"You listening to this?" Rusty said, brows raised.

Minghao nodded. Communicating with the Western mechanics seemed to involve a lot of swearing, so when they didn't swear, Minghao only felt as though he'd fucked up. There was also a problem with sarcasm, which he'd only learnt through being around them. Easy to mimic, hard to detect, he thought.

Their setup would have to be the same today as tomorrow's. If Mingyu was complaining about understeer this late in the game, Minghao could only pray to the gods for something to go their way the following day.

"Just make sure to extract what you can from the car," Minghao said. "Don't push yourself too hard."

Mingyu sneered at him, making Minghao break his gaze.

***

Mingyu’s suspicions weren't entirely unfounded, after all. Jeonghan managed to stay on top of him and other midfield teams such as in the standings, taking the car to its limits.

Jeonghan returned from Q2 smiling whilst Mingyu stayed in his car, stony-faced. P4 and P10, respectively. Mingyu had fallen in the standings. Had barely made it to Q3. Was a position away from being knocked out.

"Not gonna lie," Rusty said, lips quirked upwards, "I kind of wish he had gotten knocked out."

Minghao felt his brows shoot upwards. "Why?"

"So that he could've chosen his tyres for tomorrow instead of having to use the old ones from today."

Fuck, Rusty was right. Minghao schooled his features, trying to not let his disappointment bleed through. "You're right," Minghao muttered, suddenly displeased. If Mingyu was going to work shoddily, he might as well have made it easy for the rest of the team.

"Might be the suspension," Mingyu said, and in a matter of seconds, someone handed Minghao a canister of suspension polish. He sprayed it dutifully, making sure that all suspension components were covered.

Meanwhile, the other mechanics prepped the car by cleaning it and downloading data from it. Minghao gazed upon its umbilical cord and turned away. From here, he could spot Minhyuk squinting at the telemetry on the screen while sighing. They were supposed to compare data between the cars, of course, but the fact that he seemed upset was enough to make Minghao sweat.

He walked over to Minhyuk. "Did Jeonghan experience understeer in Radillon as well?"

Seokmin made a face. "No. Did he?" He gestured over to Mingyu, who was staring into nothing from the driver's cockpit.

"What do you think?"

"Honestly?" Seokmin paused for a moment.

Minghao nodded. "Yeah." They needed all the information they could get, after all, no matter how painful the truth.

"I think he's been sloppy all weekend while the car's been excellent."

The other mechanics seemed to think so, too. Jeonghan had been performing at a stellar pace as well. Great, Minghao thought. Fantastic, even.

***

Qualifying ended with their spots being firmly in place. Jeonghan, P4. Mingyu, dead last among the group.

"You made it to Q3, well done," Minghao managed to say, finally. Mingyu took one look at him and turned away.

Edited 2023-01-09 11:14 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: dubcon/cnc

Prompt:

i'd be a liar if i sat here claiming i'd exit in a minute / but i can't say i wouldn't have my limits
- on GP, death grips

Edited 2023-01-09 11:21 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Minghao
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?
- from George Berkeley, apparently

Ship/Member: Any (btsvt conversations about growing up and over your dreams)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Growing up, falling out of your first love, career doubt, loving something too much, figuring out what you're doing it for
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I wonder what's in store
If I don't love it anymore
I'm stuck between the having it all and giving it up

- Suga's Interlude

RM: Sometimes as I grow up — and I’m between my chapter one and two, like I said, the group and solo; maybe I’m between music and maybe [visual] art, between that. So sometimes I really feel afraid, like, “What if I don’t like music anymore?” [...] Sometimes I really feel afraid — like, music, it’s not my first thing anymore, sort of like that.
Williams: Yeah. That’s temporary.
RM: Oh, really? I’m relieved.

- Rolling Stone conversation between RM and Pharrel Williams

Edited (bolding) 2023-01-09 12:06 (UTC)

Ship/Member: Minghao, Wonwoo, Jihoon
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

love is a funny story. it wakes up and builds a plot. it wakes up and shapes you into the kind of woman your mother studies. i am not perfect in it. i am not even remotely articulate. but it is big, this love. it is airborne and triumphant. i am no easy show.
- Tonya Ingram, Until the Stars Collapse

This round has closed. It will forever remain open for comments, fills and remixes but any prompts posted after this Junhui will be deleted.

I read this because I always have a soft spot for jeonghan+chan dynamics (especially the first few petulant lines), and now I'm :( at the tables being flipped and jeonghan being bratty when he's injured but still trying to be a good hyung and distract chan at the same time :(((( I really loved that contrast!! and especially the worldbuilding. God, I feel like 2013-2015 was such a time in fandom when dystopia AUs where everywhere in fandom and now?? with the aesthetic of the hot MV?? I feel my imagination whirring. This was so cool to read, thank you OP!

Ship/Member: gyuhan, seungcheol, soonyoung, wonwoo, minghao, seungkwan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: prob goofier than the prompt intended i am So Sorry, discord shenans
Permission to remix: Yes

***

[SERVER: writer on writer violence]

#announcements

proto-diamond | 01/01/2023 12:03 AM
@ everyone happy new year!
it's been a pleasure moderating this server and sprinting with everyone for the past year. i hope that the new year brings you joy, happiness, and of course, more writing!

#general

jeonghan | 01/01/2023 12:04 AM
hny ggwp all :partyparrot:

mantiger | 01/01/2023 12:04 AM
happy new year!!! thank you so much lovely modmin for hardcarrying this server :tigerbop:

proto-diamond | 01/01/2023 12:07 AM
couldn't have done it without @ wonu as my fellow mod :popbop:

Kim Mingyu | 01/01/2023 1:01 AM
i amm so drnk lOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLL HAPPY YEAR

proto-diamond | 01/01/2023 1:01 AM
for the last time @ Kim Mingyu please change your username to ensure anonymity

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:10 AM
finnnnaly figured out how to

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:10 AM
change name

wonu | 01/01/2023 1:11 AM
i don't think this is any better

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:20 AM
@ jeonghan what are you

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:20 AM
@ jeonghan do you have any plans

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:20 AM
@ jeonghan jeonghan i know youre online answer me

the8 | 01/01/2023 1:25 AM
Go To Bed, Whore

#announcements

proto-diamond | 01/01/2023 1:26AM
i won't be pinging @ everyone this time, but PLEASE do not harass members, and if a member has the NO DMs role, then PLEASE DO NOT continue to chat them up in #general. thank you!

#general

the8 | 01/01/2023 1:26 AM
This Is Kind Of Sad To Witness

boo | 01/01/2023 1:26 AM
How will he ever recover from this?

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:26 AM
who are you guys talkin

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:29 AM
about

jeonghan | 01/01/2023 1:29 AM
go to bed, @ kmmngyu

mantiger | 01/01/2023 1:29 AM
OMG

wonu | 01/01/2023 1:30 AM
@ jeonghan don't

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:35 AM
im so drukn i didnt get a kiss on NYE

the8 | 01/01/2023 1:36 AM
This Is Kind Of Sad To Witness (2)
:F:

proto-diamond | 01/01/2023 1:40AM
@ kmmngyu i'm stripping you of your role as a verified writer if you don't move to #nsfw-irl

#nsfw-irl

kmmngyu | 01/01/2023 1:41 AM
im HORNY
[mantiger, the8, wonu, reacted with :F:]
[proto-diamond reacted with :BANHAMMER:]

Edited 2023-01-09 16:19 (UTC)

thank you so so much for reading and mentioning these things. i'm so very glad you liked it <3

oh my thank you <3 yes diaspora feelings...... thank you so much for reading and leaving such a kind comment!!!

Ship/Member: Wonwoo/Junhui
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: idolverse if you like..., that tweet that went like wonwoo wants to be jo so bad but he's laurie, “I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror”, heavily inspired by but divergent from little women (2019)
Permission to remix: Yes

***

“We can’t date,” Junhui says.

It’s five days after Wonwoo said something, an ill-advised and clumsy decision. No one thought it would be him, and worse, no one thought Junhui would say anything but yes, or me too, or whatever it is that would be a positive response to Wonwoo doing the equivalent of walking in front of an incoming train and waiting for someone to save him, the red warning lights flashing in tandem.

“Junhui—”

Junhui can’t even look at him now, launching into his next prepared spiel. “And you must be wondering why I drove you all the way out here just to reject you. Well— I think you deserve an explanation.”

“I don’t think I—”

“You see, Wonwoo, it’s not that I don’t like you. In fact— it’s not about that. I really do care about you so much, Wonwoo. You mean so much to me, and you don’t know it and I don’t say it. I swear.”

“But you don’t love me,” Wonwoo says.

Junhui falters briefly, then continues: “It’s not about that. It’s not even about me. It’s because I— think so highly of you that I don’t want to hurt you. Wonwoo, I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never hate you.”

Junhui spares a glance. Wonwoo is looking over the metal railing at the evening skyline of Seoul, the city before them. The wind threading itself through Wonwoo’s hair the way he once did, and later wished he could.

“You never gave me a chance to explain myself. You just ran away,” Wonwoo says. When Junhui doesn’t answer— “I didn’t say what I said just for fun.”

“And I know that, Wonwoo, and I took it seriously. Really. It’s just so— difficult.”

“Difficult,” Wonwoo repeats.

Junhui takes a deep breath. “I think— you deserve better than me, Wonwoo.”

“Who are you to say what I deserve.”

“I know you, Wonwoo,” Junhui says, vehemently. “I know what you want and what you value and I know you just— I know in that moment you just loved me too much, too irrationally, and that it goes against everything you stand for and hold sacred. And I knew you would regret it, as you did.”

“I didn’t,” Wonwoo responds, but with false conviction, the sunset bleeding in the backdrop of the sky. “The regret was fleeting.”

“You can’t see yourself the way I do,” Junhui asserts. “And you know that I’m silly and make awful jokes and don’t think too hard about things and you always consider things from every angle and I just can’t believe you didn’t think this through. You must have been blinded to that because you liked me so much, you couldn’t even think about how I’d never work for you. I’d never last with you. You’d fall out of love with me.”

“Listen to what you’re saying,” Wonwoo says, voice tight. “You’re the one who’s overthought this.”

“I don’t want to get hurt because you didn’t,” Junhui returns. “You might not be capable of hating me, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still hurt me. It’s better to be scratched than knifed,” he says. “And you’ll find someone else.”

“Junhui,” Wonwoo says slowly, searching his eyes, “I want you.”

Junhui exhales. “I don’t think I can love you how you want me to and how you need me to. I don’t know if I can love anyone that much.”

“You’re wrong,” Wonwoo answers, reaching for his hand and making the barest contact before Junhui wrenches it away. “I know you can and you have. And one day you will see it too. I never wanted more than you could give me.”

“I just don’t have that much faith in myself.”

Wonwoo draws back and looks at him desperately. “What about what you want, Jun-ah? Can’t you be selfish for once?”

“I want you to be happy,” Junhui answers.

***

A/N: and then (some weeks later after further agonies) they get together. happy ending!!!

fdmaklamzmtwxza DAMN IT RISA. the jo-laurie rejection scene was a hallmark of my childhood literary experience and you're whipping it out and arming it with wonhui thorns to slap me in the face.

on second reading it actually is very funny for me; to imagine that junhui's instinctive response to a confession is to reject them for their own good because he is a self-aware brat! and it really tickles that wonwoo is usually quiet but willing to fight when it comes to brats being brats. what a combination!! look in theory risa this would hurt me but instead I am immensely entertained imagining the two braincells in their heads going pew pew pew

Ship/Member: wonwoo/mingyu
Major Tags: Canon compliant, hurt/comfort
Additional Tags: physical fatigue
Permission to remix: Yes

***
For a time, Mingyu had wondered what it would take to tear down Wonwoo's walls. For a time, it seemed like nothing could.

Now, it's just this: a touch on Wonwoo's wrist during practice, a "you look tired" whispered low enough that only the two of them can hear it. Brick by brick an embrace, Wonwoo's sweaty head resting on his shoulder, shaking hands curling into the sides of his torso.

Everyone else is on water break. Wonwoo hums into the crook of his neck. "I am."

An answer when it used to be dismissal. Mingyu keeps his stance taut, shoulders broad enough to carry the weight of another. "Thirsty?"

"No."

"Sleepy?"

It earns a shake of Wonwoo's head. His hand—it's cold—reaches for Mingyu's. Lifts it up to his forehead. "Try sick."

His skin is burning. Alarm bells ring in Mingyu's head: shit, shit, shit—

"Stop." Wonwoo pokes a finger into his other side. His hairline is wet with sweat, voice unsteady. "Stop thinking. I can feel it."

"You're sick." Mingyu pulls back, stamps a hand into Wonwoo's forehead. The signs are there now that he looks for them: paling complexion, clammy skin, Wonwoo's deadpan gaze not as sharp it should be. He should have noticed sooner. "Come on, I'll take you back."

Wonwoo shakes his head. The others are staring now, Jihoon's brow quirked in question. Wonwoo's lips are pressed in a firm line, not wanting to involve anyone else.

Mingyu reaches for Wonwoo's hand. Keeps his voice down. "Come on."

"No." Wonwoo tugs on his hand. "I took a paracetamol. I just need to sit."

"No," Mingyu tugs back, "you need to lie down. Let's head back to the dorm—"

"It's fine—"

"Don't make me lift you." Mingyu puffs out his chest, ears heating up when Wonwoo's lips curl. "You know I can."

"I do." Wonwoo rolls his eyes. "Fine."

For a time, it seemed like nothing Mingyu did could tear down Wonwoo's walls.

Now, it's just this: a glass of water and a washcloth. Mingyu's attention on wiping Wonwoo's hairline, brick by brick easing out a sigh.

"Thanks," Wonwoo says when for a time it used to be you don't have to. He closes his eyes, lifts his arm for Mingyu to roll back the sleeve. "Didn't know you could be domestic."

Mingyu holds back from throwing the washcloth on Wonwoo's face. "Don't make me stop."

"Don't stop," Wonwoo echoes, lips curling in a smile. "I like it."

"I know," Mingyu says, threading the washcloth between his fingers.

🚀

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 31 of 36

Round 1 2023: Quotes

I’ll show you every version of yourself tonight

Re: [FILL] late night talking

Re: [FILL] late night talking

Re: [FILL] plum blossom

half-dreaming, i confess

i want this badly, come sit beside me now

[FILL]: we still have a long way to go

and i can see your smile

i always knew that

Re: [FILL] blue hour

Re: [FILL] swipe

[FILL] my year of rest & relaxation

[FILL] FORM

all those nights i don't die for you

the silence in a forest

what if I don't love it anymore

all of this is a working title

PROMPTING CLOSED

Re: [FILL]: we still have a long way to go

[FILL] feelin the like

Re: [FILL] succession of shelters

Re: [FILL] succession of shelters

[FILL] synonyms for confession

Re: [FILL] synonyms for confession

[FILL] brick by brick