17hols | Round 1 2023: Quotes

Round 1 2023: Quotes

Status: Closed

This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted.

Seventeen Holidays

Round 1: Quotes

About

"Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time."

"How inconvenient to be made of desire."

"It's me, hi, I'm the problem its me."

Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy WeVerse drama.

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Rules

Sign up is not required.
Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too!
There is no maximum cap.
Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest).
NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged
NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview.

How it works

Prompting

Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post;
Change the subject;
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want!
Need ideas? Check out our 2021 and 2022 Quote rounds.

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Do Not Wants: None Prompt: <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote>

Filling

Reply to the original prompt;
You must change the subject to [FILL] - this is to help the mods track. Feel free to add a title
Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text.
You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection.

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask ***

Remixing

Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above;
Change the subject to [REMIX].

Art/media

Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.)
Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it!
Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead.
(To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want)

Ship/Member: Any Major Tags: N/A Additional Tags: N/A Permission to remix: Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a>

Note!

On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it.

Navigation

< ROUND 1: QUOTES >

ROUND 2: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

2021

2022

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

im glad u enjoyed!!! ur welcome!!

Ally!!!!! god thank u for this sweet sweet comment u have no idea how many times ive read and reread it...its so good and made me so happy!! im glad u enjoyed it!!!

i love love gyuhan so much theyre so fun to write, so its always nice to see people enjoying my gyuhanisms

thank u!!! ur so sweet!!!!!!

hehe im glad you liked the fill!!

it wouldn't be a moon writing if there wasnt mingyu dog comparison either... ur just like me<3

and sorry to wonwoo for almost always make him evil and/or depressed

i will take responsibility for my crimes by. i dont know yet u can make a request i guess but im so glad u enjoyed it(?)

Ship/Member: any but consider minghao :]]
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: rebound relationships, acknowledging that it’s not love in the way you want
Do Not Wants: infidelity

Prompt:

You wanna be my new home
But baby, let up, I won't ever recognize these roads
'Cause I am lost, but not in you
Yes, I am lost, but not in you

- NIKI, Anaheim

WAAA sorry i'm late but thank you so much for this super cute fill, op!! it's really interesting how you wrote the two of them together, because i love the implication that their respective dogboi eagerness and romanticist earnestness would cancel out the 'yuck' factor of the original lyrics out omg. it reminds me of how they share the same taste in ~romantic vibes~ etc...

my fave line was the bit abt minghao leaving on his mask to hide his blush from mingyu hehe. thank you for sharing this!

HELLO sorry i'm late!! but gosh op, this flattened me like a pancake T______T i should have been prepared for the hurt based on the vibes of the quote and my own prompt lol but i rly wasn't! this made my heart ache so much (in the perfect way)!!

it's really cool that you wrote from minghao's pov/the perspective of the person drifting away... i couldn't help holding my breath while waiting for the bomb to drop for poor mingyu ;; in particular, these lines really knocked me out:
> The thing about mirrors is that they reflect your own myopia.
> How do two people know that they’re looking at the same color, just because they both give it the same name?
> He stopped himself, deflated, the words momentarily stunned by the unfamiliar rush of free fall, wings still damp with amniotic fluid.

all very wow and owww at the same time ;; i also loved the bits of the other members that you sprinkled in, like vern's stock options (lol) and possible tensions between 8jun... thank you for breaking my heart with this one hahaha

oh op i loved this so very much, everything about it ;; i'm echoing other folks in the comments, but it's so super cool how you mapped soonhao's performance unit dynamics onto this au; how you captured the feeling of weighing yourself against another person / trying to measure something as subjective as what it means to be the 'best;' and how you explore minghao's position as a chinese public figure representing a country that isn't his own. i loved the rivalry and i loved the tiny glimpses of intimacy/potential for friendship. i have no idea if you are an anime fan or not hahaha, but this piece gave me the same feeling as watching haikyuu and foolishly trying to root for both teams... ;;

on top of that, your writing style is so crisp and stunning!! these were my favorite parts:
> "Soonyoung still remembers Xu Minghao’s stunning score in last year’s All-Around qualifying, but also his crestfallen face as two others on the Chinese national team outscored him. [...] Enter the following year: Seo Myung-ho, South Korean national athlete."
> Minghao always looks so unguarded, his palm always up in offering, as if dreams have never crumbled in the heart of it. Two-per-country.

thank you for sharing this!

thank you for reading!! i'm glad you enjoyed it <3

Ah thank you so much!! I appreciate your comment so much! That's really what I wanted to convey like—it's not that jeonghan is the villain in this story but they're both so different and both acting selfishly and as you said "this seungcheol will still be drawn to this jeonghan in that cyclical, self-sabotaging way." And your comment about boundaries (or rather, the lack thereof) is so good and what I wanted to accomplish here! Thanks so much for reading and commenting <3

OH THIS CONCEPT!! earthbender refugee kmg… scarred lost firebender (prince??) xmh… the way you held off that reveal until they were backed into a corner… this is so rich with history and complexity. He tries not to think of those weeks, the sky red with ash and smoke while he waited in his home, too young to fight but old enough to want to. Ahhh, this gave me chills. You captured the visuals of the show so well, I could see so much of this in the ATLA style.

“I’ll stay with you to the end.” & “You’re not done yet.” oh I’m knocked out by these lines!! The minute Mingyu decided to save this boy he didn’t know, that was it—they were devoted to each other. He has no idea what it means to have Xu Minghao in his corner but HE’S ABOUT TO FIND OUT! I LOVE the possibilities here, the whole universe you’ve opened up, and the characterizations you’ve established. I know I’ll keep thinking about this one. Thank you so much for sharing!

Ship/Member: Any…but consider gyuhan…
Major Tags: destructive love, love as violence, or if you wanna go extra dark with it… killer/victim relationship
Additional Tags: hate sex if you want…or if you take the killer/victim route…exploring the eroticism of death and being killed
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I love the pain, I love the game
Come into my arms, come into my arms
You say that I'm delirious
But I'm not the one holding the gun

I told you not to come
My victim #1

You won't let go, you won't give in
Til every part of you is suffering
It's the strangest thing, it's deliberate
Done with intent without repent

—- Delirious by Susanne Sundfør

What a gorgeous character study :') it begins with joshua looking around and realizing something irreparable is changing, adulthood’s strings yanking each of them a little farther away from each other. I love the way you phrased this, like puppetry. The weight of assimilation feels so palpable here. he tastes the los angeles air and it’s familiar, heavy and slightly salty, but he is homesick, homesick, homesick. Ahh, and this too - not feeling at home at home. I love how 8jun and jeongcheol specifically take on the caretaker roles and help joshua through these feelings. That feels so right. This is exactly the melancholia I was hoping for with this prompt and you absolutely delivered!! Thank you so much for writing!

Oh WOW. I'm stunned. Oh my god. The way you interpreted the Oyeyemi quote!! Love and revenge as one and the same... my brain is imploding hahahah. This is so good and sharp. Using the Sisyphus metaphor as foreshadowing is perfect... and we think we know what it means the first time around, with Soonyoung bringing Wonwoo back and back. BUT THEN! Uno reverse card! God, I love that twist soooo much, and how this is a bit of a Came Back Wrong fic, too. This Wonwoo — Wonwoo number sixty-four — is cruel and cold. Soonyoung doesn't know if this Wonwoo had always been there, or if this is something that Soonyoung has created. If they continue to push this boulder, switching places as the necromancer and the necromancee, coming back slightly different - slightly Less - every time... ahhhhh what a concept. Watching Wonwoo come to an understanding of his situation and want out was so chilling. What do you do when you're in love with your dead boyfriend whom you killed, and you're only alive to bring him back to kill you? ASfkdgjsljfskg Frankenstein but make it erotic and obsessive.

The ending makes this part hurt: Sunlight dappling through the leaves, the two of them curled up on the wicker furniture in their sunroom. Soonyoung talking animatedly about his research, and Wonwoo sipping on his tea, quietly listening. Kisses pressed against warm, earthy skin. Soonyoung's delicate fingers brushing against his cheek. Wonwoo's arms curled around Soonyoung's slender waist. THEY WERE SO HAPPY... RIP T___T HOW CAN THIS BE IN A HORROR PIECE

Thank you so much for writing this I loved it!!

THIS WAS SO GOOD. i love how you built something so rich in these couple of words, all of the dialogue is so exacting but also so so important, hiding all the things that cannot be said to a boy you just met. most importantly minghao and mingyu are so mingyu and minghao in this it hurts . thank you for writing

Ship/Member: Seungcheol/Twice Jihyo
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: drunken nonsense, why not date if the press reports that you are?, #leaderproblems
Permission to remix: Yes

***

Everything that happened only happened because Seungcheol wanted to go on a date with someone, and seized an opportunity when it presented itself.

Who could blame him for that?

--

“Well, we could, um,” Seungcheol rubs his palm against the back of his neck. “Take my car?”

“Or mine?” says, Jihyo. She makes to gesture to her own car, then stops, diverting her hand to run through her hair.

Seungcheol looks up at the roof of the parking garage briefly. This is awkward. He never should have agreed to this—or, rather, initiated this—but here he is anyway.

“We could take a cab?” Jihyo suggests, with a bright smile.

Seungcheol holds back a sigh of relief. “Great idea!”

--

When the articles first came out, Seungcheol had assumed it was a joke. Seventeen’s SCoups Spotted with Twice’s Jihyo! It sounded like a prank, though he had no idea who would find it funny. He and Jihyo are workplace acquaintances, at best. Fraternizing between his group and hers isn’t exactly unheard of, but aside from a few dinners which Seungkwan organized and then bullied him into attending (“Hyung you have to come! I made everything so awkward and you have to help me fix it!”), Seungcheol has never interacted with Jihyo off-the-clock.

Whoever the guy was in the pictures, though, did look a lot like him from behind.

Management texted him a very terse is this you? about an hour after the pictures were released and half an hour after JYP Entertainment released a statement which read we will have to check with our artist before confirming or denying this report.

Of course, it wasn’t him. Seungcheol had no idea who the guy in the pictures was. But instead of answering the text (or the subsequent third, fourth, tenth, and twentieth texts) from management, he wandered around the dorms in pursuit of Jihyo’s phone number.

For reasons unknown, Vernon had her number saved in his phone and gave it to him without so much as an arch of his perfect eyebrow.

This is how Seungcheol ended up texting Jihyo: lol hey this is Choi Seungcheol, I guess we’re dating?

But none of that explains why they are here, now, ostensibly on an actual date while they hail a cab in the rain. And the more Seungcheol tries to remember how they got here, the less clear it seems.

--

They started out at lunch in a very discreet restaurant, the kind of discreet restaurant that would absolutely make the rumors look true if either of them were spotted going inside. Therefore, Seungcheol wore a facemask, beanie, and trench coat for good measure. It was raining, after all.

“Oh,” was the first thing he said when he walked into the small private dining room and found Jihyo already sitting there, looking very pretty but dressed completely normally.

She stood up and bowed and greeted him properly and he bowed and greeted her properly and then they were sitting at the table with a bowl full of soup between them and Seungcheol was beginning to suspect that he was actually an idiot.

“It was my middle school friend,” Jihyo said abruptly.

He looked into her big beautiful eyes and tried to swallow. “What?”

“The guy in the photos,” she explained. “The company was just going to say that, but then you texted me, and we were like—well, it’s hard to date in this industry—I mean, you know—” She trailed off, circling her chopsticks around in her bowl and pulling up noodles that she immediately dropped back in.

“Are you dating him?” Seungcheol asked, stupidly.

“What? No.” Jihyo laughed. “I haven’t dated anyone in—I can’t even remember how long.”

Seungcheol grinned. “Same.”

And at that, Jihyo leaned across the table with a conspiratorial smile on her face. “No pressure, but—do you want to ditch this restaurant thing?”

--

And thus, they are in the back of a cab heading toward Incheon, because Jihyo likes a cafe there or—something? Seungcheol is kind of unclear on the details, because he keeps worrying about whether he looks stupid in his trenchcoat and forgetting to pay attention. In the cab, he takes it off, awkwardly bending his arms to avoid hitting Jihyo in the face.

“Do you want help?” Jihyo asks.

“No, I’m—” Seungcheol hits himself in the face. “—fine!”

They make polite small talk for the rest of the cab ride, mostly discussing various back-up dancers, makeup artists, and production crew they both know. The cab driver has the radio turned to political radio and keeps talking back to the host, which makes Jihyo pause, tilt her head, and giggle every time.

It’s very attractive. Unfortunately Seungcheol is an idiot, but she’s very attractive. He’s smart enough to know that.

They get dropped off near the beach. It’s still raining, and Jihyo opens an umbrella. Seungcheol puts his trench coat back on.

“I love this cafe,” Jihyo explains as they walk. “I haven’t been here in a while, but—oh.”

They turn a corner and stop in front of a very much closed cafe. Seungcheol looks at himself in his trenchcoat in the reflection of the dark windows.

“Well, I guess there’s only one thing left to do,” Jihyo says.

“What’s that?”

She gestures to a convenience store across the street. “Get a little drunk.”

--

They do not get a little drunk.

They get very drunk.

“I don’t think anyone appreciates what I do for them,” Seungcheol slurs, supporting himself with one arm on the picnic table and the other wildly sloshing a can around. “Like, like, they don’t get it.”

“Oh my god!” Jihyo cries. “I know.”

“They think it’s so easy!”

“But it’s so hard,” Jihyo says solemnly. “If they’d’ve had to be the leader, oh my god.”

“Yeah! None of them could’ve done it.”

“None!”

“We should—” Seungcheol leans over the table, trying to whisper, but Jihyo’s face swims in front of his eyes. “We should, like, tell them how we feel.”

“Oh my god,” Jihyo cries, “You are so smart.”

“None’ve them ‘ppreciate that either!” Seungcheol exclaims.

Jihyo fishes her phone out of her purse, which takes a while. In spite of the rain pouring down on the shelter over their table, Seungcheol feels very cozy and warm in his trench coat. “D’you like my trench coat?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Jihyo says, nodding, “It’s cool.”

“I thought so,” Seungcheol says.

“M’kay, shush, it’s ringing,” Jihyo says. She giggles, which makes Seungcheol giggle. This is so funny. He might totally be in love with Jihyo. That’s so funny too.

“Hello?”

“Nayeon-unnie!” Jihyo cries.

There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “Are you drunk?”

Jihyo’s brow furrows. “Um, nooooooooooo.”

“Jihyo, it’s four o’clock in the afternoon.”

“Oh my god,” Jihyo groans. “None of you ever let me have fun. I wanna have fun! ‘N that—that—that’ssss what’m calling you ‘bout.”

Silence. Seungcheol has to bite his fist to keep from laughing.

“It’s so hard being the leader!” Jihyo cries, and slumps over the table. “None of you appreciate me!”

Seungcheol can’t restrain himself. “Yeah! We work so hard!”

“Jihyo, are you with a boy?”

“Hey!” Seungcheol cries out, indignant. “I’m a man!”

Jihyo nods furiously. “Yeah! He’s a man!”

“What ‘man’ is this?”

Jihyo giggles. “It’s a secret!”

This strikes Seungcheol as insanely funny. Secret dates for secret friends. Her eyes are so pretty. He never wants to go home.

“Okay, can you send me a picture of this secret man so I know you’re safe?”

“Ooooh,” Jihyo says, “That’s such a good idea! Unnie, you’re so smart.”

She holds up her phone to take a picture of Seungcheol. He tries to pose with a cute peace sign, but kind of forgets to open his eyes. The picture must look good though, thanks to his trench coat.

“Unniee,” Jihyo says into the phone. “Did you get it?”

She frowns and holds up her phone for Seungcheol to look at.

“She hung up on me!”

“That’s so rude!”

“I know!”

“They don’t appreciate us at all,” Seungcheol says, resting his cheek on the picnic table. It feels so nice and cool.

“It’s your turn!” Jihyo says, tapping him on the head.

“Right!” Seungcheol sits up again.

Later, he will wonder why he was stupid enough to call Jeonghan. Surely, he is not that stupid even when that drunk. But, for whatever reason, he dials Jeonghan.

“Jeonghannie!” he croons as soon as Jeonghan answers. “I gotta tell you something!”

“Oh? Hang on a sec.”

Seungcheol looks up. “He told me to hang on.”

Jihyo’s mouth drops open in a reflection of the indignation Seungcheol feels. Following some rustling on the other end of the line, Jeonghan’s voice echoes through the speaker again. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Oh-kay,” Seungcheol says, “First of all, I think I’m in love.”

“You are?” Jihyo cries, delighted.

“Shhh.” Seungcheol holds a finger up to his lips. “Don’t tell Jihyo.”

“Is that all?”

“Noooo. I gotta tell you something. I never told you this before because, because, I’m like. Protecting you. You know? But Jeonghannieee, it’s soooo hard to be the leader.”

“You tell me that literally every single day.”

“Yeah, but that’s like,” Seungcheol cries, “You know, not serious.”

“And you’re serious right now?”

“Yes! It’s soooooo hard. You need to appreciate me more.”

“Where are you?”

“It’s a secret!” Jihyo cries out.

“Are you with a girl?”

“Excuse you!” Seungcheol nearly yells into the phone. “She is a woman!”

“Yeah!” Jihyo echoes, swaying in her seat.

“Okay, what woman is this, then?”

Seungcheol tries to think of her name but can’t seem to get it to go from his brain to his lips, and ends up singing directly into the phone, “Fancy! Youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!”

“Right, okay. You two going anywhere else?”

“Secret!” Seungcheol crows.

“You owe me so bad.”

Seungcheol frowns at his phone. “Oh my god, he hung up on me too!”

Jihyo shakes her head with leaderly disappointment. “They are so mean to us.”

--

Around dusk, a car drives up to the parking lot near their picnic table. By this point, Seungcheol has draped his trench coat around both of them, and they are singing “Aju Nice” together. They sound absolutely amazing. Seungcheol is contemplating leaving Seventeen to start a group with Jihyo because they sound so good.

Two people get out of the car. Moments later, Jeonghan and Nayeon are standing in front of them. Jeonghan has a bubble tea in one hand and his phone in the other. Nayeon has both hands on her hips.

“Oh no,” Jihyo giggles, “They’re mad.”

“We’re in Incheon,” Nayeon says. She does sound pretty mad. Seungcheol giggles, too.

“And it’s raining!” Jihyo sighs. “Aw, that’s so nice, unnie. You take such good care of me.”

“Right,” Nayeon deadpans. “Get into the car, you assholes.”

Reasonably abashed, they both stagger to their feet and stumble in the direction of the car. Jihyo stops, though, and loops her arms around Nayeon.

“Unnie,” she says, clearly thinking she’s whispering but not actually whispering at all. “You’re so right. He has such a nice ass. I think it’s real, too.”

Seungcheol turns back around and slaps his hands against his butt. “It is!” he cries, delighted. “No butt pads! That’s cheating.”

“I knew it was real,” Jihyo says, pleased as she nestles closer to Nayeon. “I knew it.”

“I hate you both so much right now,” Nayeon says, somehow managing to extricate herself from Jihyo and push her toward the car.

With a lot of pushing (on Nayeon’s part), both Seungcheol and Jihyo end up in the backseat of the car, giggling and leaning against each other. Nayeon rounds on Jeonghan.

“Thanks for nothing,” she snaps. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Seungcheol and Jihyo making matching shocked faces in the backseat.

Jeonghan shrugs and puts down his phone.

“Are you recording this?” Nayeon asks, aghast.

Jeonghan slurps on his straw. “Yeah. You want a copy?”

Rolling her eyes, Nayeon turns back toward the car. “Yeah, obviously.”

--

The next day, Seungcheol has a horrible hangover and only a very vague memory of day-drinking with Twice’s Jihyo.

“So, are you seeing her again?” Jeonghan asks. “You look great, by the way.”

Seungcheol falls onto the couch and groans in reply.

“What’s wrong with him?” Seungkwan says, somewhere above him.

Seungcheol suddenly hears the tinny recording of his own voice emanating from Jeonghan’s phone. I think I’m in love! Don’t tell Jihyo! He groans again. This is all terrible.

“Well?” Jeonghan demands.

“Go away.”

“You have to see her again!” Jeonghan cries. “I have an hour and a half of material here. And I haven’t gotten to make fun of Seungkwan for his whole fiasco with them in a long time—”

“Hey! What do I have to do with this?” Seungkwan protests.

“Just—go away,” Seungcheol says. Out of some kindness, they do, bickering as they disappear down the hall.

He picks up his phone and squints at it.

Let’s do that again sometime! reads the message on the screen. Well, maybe not the drinking part. But it was fun to let loose for once, right?

Seungcheol smiles to himself. Maybe dating isn’t so bad, after all.

Edited 2022-12-30 22:16 (UTC)

Ship/Member: gyuhan, jeonghan pov
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: the mortifying ordeal of being known, unresolved tension that goes unresolved, idolverse
Permission to remix: Please ask

***

Jeonghan knows how it goes. Verse, chorus, verse. Falling in love, falling out of love, being alone. Repeat. He knows how this works. But still– still, he can’t help but wonder, what if– what if love could be more than that? What if love could be forever? What if love could be boundless like the open ocean, like the sea, wild and unrestrained, never ceasing?

And if he had that love, would he even know what to do with it? How do you hold water in your hands? How do you love the ocean without becoming a part of it, without killing yourself in the process?

Jeonghan is watching Mingyu across the restaurant table. He’s laughing at something Seokmin said. He’s plating food for everyone who asks, and opening bottles that are handed to him, and he’s all smiles, and he’s… so full of love. Unapologetically, without reservation, Mingyu loves everybody. And everyone loves Mingyu.

Mingyu is just that kind of person, Jeonghan supposes. You can’t help but love him.

Mingyu’s love is warm and soft, it’s kind, it doesn’t ask for things in return. Jeonghan’s love is a snowstorm that’ll trap you in your house and leave you to die. He’s not sure he knows how to love something without killing it.

“Everything alright, hyung?” Mingyu asks, his voice cutting through the static of Jeonghan’s mind. He’s looking at him now, eyes brown and warm.

“I’m alright,” Jeonghan replies, voice just loud enough that Mingyu will hear him.

But no one else hears it, because they’re not trying to hear it– Mingyu is trying. Mingyu is looking at Jeonghan intently, but he seems to get that Jeonghan isn’t going to tell him anything right now, so he leaves it alone.

Jeonghan almost wants Mingyu to keep prying, just to see what would happen. What would happen if Jeonghan let Mingyu cut him open here, at the group dinner, in front of everyone? If Jeonghan spilled his guts onto the table, blood and insides, every ugly thought he’s had while they’ve been sitting here? Would any of them want to look at him, or would they look away? Pretend it isn’t there, that he’s just had a little too much to drink?

Mingyu wouldn’t, some small voice in the back of Jeonghan’s head says. Mingyu would look.

But would he still love Jeonghan, even with the mess, with the blood on his hands?

Mingyu slips away again, sucked into conversation with Seungkwan. Jeonghan sits in his corner, and he doesn’t say anything until Joshua nudges his foot under the table.

“Jeonghan,” he says. “Jeonghan?”

“Mhm?” Jeonghan hums, shaking himself back to life. He picks up the chopsticks and starts pushing his food back and forth on the plate. “What is it?”

“Are you tired?”

Jeonghan blinks at him, then sighs, biting his tongue. “Yes,” he says. “Yes, tired.”

Joshua nods, silent understanding passing between them. He keeps his foot pressed against Jeonghan’s calf for the rest of the meal.

Is this also love? Here is the proof you’re still here; I am touching the back of your leg.

They get back to the hotel around midnight, some more tipsy than others. Jeonghan slips away to his room, curling up in his bed. For once, he sort of wishes they still had roommates on tour. He wishes someone was there with him, in the dark. That he could at least hear someone else breathing.

He thinks back to sharing a hotel room with Mingyu, and he doesn’t know why Mingyu is the person he thinks of first– but he is, and he’s there, in the back of Jeonghan’s mind. His breaths are slow and steady, and he shuffles around sometimes, in the darkness. He makes soft noises when he dreams.

Jeonghan doesn’t know how or why he remembers all this, but the information lies ready for him in the back of his mind the second he thinks back to it. He wishes Mingyu was there. He’d kill just to watch as he’s sleeping.

Why, though? Why would he want that? This question rolls around in his head like a smooth marble, the answer hiding in its center. He can’t crack it. He can’t even catch the marble.

...

The next day’s concert goes well. It always goes well. Jeonghan knows how that works too; verse, chorus, verse. Dance, sing, repeat. Listen to the people screaming, singing, the people who love you. Revel in it. Drink it like it’s poison and you’re Romeo.

He knows that love is different, the one between idol and fan. It’s love, but it’s not boundless, and it’s not to be taken for granted– although no love should be taken for granted. But that kind of innocent and trusting love especially, Jeonghan thinks. They’ll never really know Jeonghan, who he is at his core, what’s in the center of that marble; they’ll know what he shows them. He doesn’t want them to see his guts or any of the other ugly things inside his chest.

Want, the size of a fist. Want, want, want. There’s a reason your heart is the size of your first. If you love someone, is it a gift or a death sentence?

...

Seventeen are back in South Korea. They’re back at their dorms, and it’s nice not to be alone. Jeonghan likes lying half asleep in his bed listening to the sound of bickering in the living room, or to laughter, depending on the day.

That’s love too.

At some point Jeonghan ends up in Mingyu and Wonwoo’s dorm– he’s there to steal back a beanie Mingyu had nabbed from him on tour. Wonwoo is away, eating dinner with Soonyoung.

Mingyu catches Jeonghan, but he lets Jeonghan take the beanie back anyway, because he’s Mingyu, so of course he does. But he does make Jeonghan stay for dinner. Not that he minds. It’s nice.

Mingu gives Jeonghan the other half of his egg. This is love too.

They’re a few drinks in when Jeonghan finally broaches the subject that had been hanging in the back of his mind, and he does it carefully, as he does with all things pertaining to the heart, to his core. He knows Mingyu will listen, but it’s still scary.

Jeonghan wants to tell someone, and he also wants to take back everything he’s ever told anyone– he wants to be unknowable. If no one knows him well enough to love him, they won’t know him well enough to stop either.

“Mingyu,” he says. “I’m not sure how you do it.”

“Do what?” Mingyu asks. He’s leaning back against the couch, sitting cross legged on the floor.

“Love,” Jeonghan replies. “You’re so full of it, you know? You’re so full of love. You make it look so easy. It’s almost like you’re not afraid of anything I do.”

‘I do.’ A slip of the tongue that Jeonghan catches a second too late. But Mingyu doesn’t react to it beyond a thoughtful nod.

“Well, love is the point, isn’t it?” Mingyu says.

“What?”

“Love’s the point,” Mingyu repeats. “Of everything. At least that’s what I think. Life wouldn’t be that fun without love, so I try to give out a little love, whenever I can.”

“But how?” Jeonghan says. “How? What if people don’t want it?”

“Everyone wants love.”

“Not everyone.”

“Not you, you mean?”

Jeonghan flinches slightly, drawing his knees up to his chest. “I want love,” he says. “But I… what if someone takes it away?”

“You can’t take love away,” Mingyu says. “Once you give it to someone, it’s not yours anymore. I gave you half of my egg. You’ve eaten it. That love is in you now.”

“But it’s gone,” Jeonghan says. “If that was your love, I wouldn’t have eaten it. I would’ve kept it.”

“What if it started to smell?”

“I’d still keep it. It’s still love.”

“So it wouldn’t matter what I thought, would it? Or what anyone else thought? It’d still be love to you?”

“I guess,” Jeonghan says. “I guess so. But what if the other person– what if they eat the egg? Or throw it away?”

“I think I’m losing you in the metaphor, hyung.”

“What if you love someone and they don’t care, or they don’t want your love, they don’t think it’s good? What if my love isn’t good? What if it’s just– just a rotten egg?”

Mingyu looks at him for a long time in silence before he speaks again. “Then you keep loving them. You keep loving them, because they can’t take that away from you either,” he pauses. He’s still looking at Jeonghan. “You love them until they realize they deserve it.”

“... Deserve it?”

“Isn’t that the core of it?” Mingyu asks. “Not being sure if you deserve love, or to love– isn’t that what you mean?”

Jeonghan gnaws on the inside of his cheek, and he feels see through. Paper thin. Mingyu’s cracking the marble in his head open like an egg against a countertop.

“I think it’s more about want,” Jeonghan says at length.

“Aren’t they the same?”

“Sometimes,” Jeonghan says. “But not always. Love is… I love the members. They’re my friends, family, whatever’s closer than that– but I don’t… I don’t want them. They don’t want me.”

Mingyu hesitates for a moment again, “are you sure?”

“What?”

“Are you sure they don’t want you?”

Jeonghan blinks back at Mingyu, who’s surveying him steadily, although his ears have gone red. His palms are pressed flat against the hardwood floor, his knuckles white, like he’s trying to dig his fingers into the wood.

“I guess not,” Jeonghan says, very quietly.

He’s suddenly aware of the silence around them, that it’s just the two of them and no one else. Jeonghan is alone in a room with his want, and with Mingyu, and–

And they’re the same thing, he realizes. This is what he wants.

Loving Mingyu is so easy he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it; that he’s been doing it for years. He wants to share this revelation with Mingyu, this ground shattering information, that it's love, of course it's love, but it’s also want– it’s want so bad that it hurts, and if he wants something, he can’t have it. Jeonghan knows this.

So he doesn’t say it. Mingyu doesn’t say anything either.

They sit in the living room, only a few feet apart, but Jeonghan can’t touch Mingyu. Mingyu can’t touch Jeonghan. They both know this. But if Jeonghan just inched his hand forwards a bit, he could grab Mingyu’s pinky with his own.

There’s a heat growing in between them, tension, something unspoken.

How long can you want something without asking for it? If you wish long enough to stop wanting it, does the want go away? Jeonghan supposes he’ll find out.

Mingyu leans over, and Jeonghan thinks for one crazy moment that he’s going to kiss him, but he grabs a bottle of water from the other side of the table. Jeonghan’s eyes follow him the whole way. He watches as Mingyu opens the water bottle and brings it to his lips, watches him swallow it, watches him lick his lips afterwards. Jeonghan feels like he’s going to die.

He feels impatient all of a sudden. He doesn’t want to wait to find out, he wants to know now– if it’s true, if it’s real. And at the same time Jeonghan doesn’t want to know, he thinks it might be better if he never finds out. There would be consequences, dire ones.

Think of something you want, something you can’t have. Put yourself in a room with it. How would you stop your soul from reaching out and touching it?

Jeonghan offers to do the dishes. Mingyu says he’ll dry them. They stand next to each other at the kitchen sink, heat against heat.

Are they really not going to talk about it, Jeonghan wonders? Is Mingyu just going to leave it there? It seems unlike Mingyu to do that, but then he thinks– it’s very like Jeonghan. It’s like himself to leave it there, unsaid, unfinished. If you can’t be sure what something is, how could anyone judge it? Isn’t it better to not know? To keep adding to his collection of marbles?

This one is pink. Its core is soft and gooey, sticky like honey.

Mingyu smells like honey.

And Mingyu is loving Jeonghan, in his way– by not prying, not asking for more than Jeonghan can give him. He’s loving him in his way, and Jeonghan; Jeonghan loves Mingyu in his way. By keeping him at arm's length.

i have already told you how much i love this but let me tell you again because this is GREAT!! it's so funny and so charming, and it's such a sweet and playful depiction of the best kind of drunkenness, and how it can lower those initial barriers and bring two people closer together.

I absolutely loveddd seungcheol's inner monologue, he's the stupidest dumbest boy ever I adore him!!! but also the way you showed the slow progression of him becoming more fond of jihyo and more attracted to her... and how much of that came from him *noticing* little things about her... idk it's just so genuine and true to life, this is how most people fall in love, not because of some big intense moment but just an accumulation of fondness and affection for someone!!! idk it just feels so youthful and fun and hopeful, all the best parts of young love and the early stages of dating and regardless of whether they get together romantically this was a cute flirty moment for them and that's valuable in and of itself for them!!! ahhh idk why I have SUCH feelings for this but I think we see so much intensity in fic when it comes to falling for someone that it's actually soooo nice to see the fun and lighthearted side of it too :)

also your dialogue is SO snappy and excellent as always and a big big big part of why this piece feels so airy and happy. also x2 nayeon + jeonghan need to get together and scheme and argue more. in case it wasn't clear i loveddd this

Ship/Member: any but consider Seokmin/Mingyu, or Seokmin gen
Major Tags: violence, good boy gone bad, lovers to enemies
Additional Tags: maybe superhero au? Or something? Seokmins villain origin story lol
Do Not Wants: mcd

Prompt:

I looked away
You were on fire
And I watched a change in you
It's like you never had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change

Change (In the House of Flies), Deftones

Ship/Member: mingyu....
Major Tags: angst
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

"It was as though you were a man in a wheelchair,
your legs cut off at the knee.
But I wanted you to walk.
I wanted us to walk like lovers,
arm in arm in the summer evening,
and believed so powerfully in that projection
that I had to speak, I had to press you to stand.
Why did you let me speak?
I took your silence as I took the anguish in your face,
as part of the effort to move--
It seemed I stood forever, holding out my hand.
All that time, you could no more heal yourself
than I could accept what I saw."
- Louise Glück, "Seated Figure"

Ship/Member: Jeonghan/Chan
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: AU, implied (?) infidelity, brief sexual content
Permission to remix: Please ask

***

Jeonghan finds Chan in the usual place. The bass is loud, the lights are neon green, and Chan is dancing like he’s putting on a show. It’s clear he’s made his rounds. Men and women hover around him like they’re waiting for him to notice them again. It’s a look Jeonghan knows well.

It’s one he’s caught on his own face in the mirrors that line the dance floor.

Chan locks eyes with him as the song fades out, something darker, heavier taking its place. He makes his way to a secluded corner. Jeonghan follows him.

“You aren’t supposed to be here,” Jeonghan says.

He has to lean into Chan to say it. His cologne is warm on his skin, wood and spice. Jeonghan can’t avoid breathing him in.

The light shining on Chan’s face should make him look sick. Instead, he looks ethereal.

“Neither are you,” he answers. “But we’re both here anyway.”

Chan’s hands find their way to Jeonghan’s hips. Their bodies come together naturally. It’s hard to tell who is leading and who is following.

It hardly matters. It ends the same way every time.

“What happens now that you’ve found me?” Chan asks him. In his boots, they’re nearly the same height. It makes Jeonghan’s face burn, thinking about Chan looking up at him, those few precious centimeters.

“You should leave. Pretend this didn’t happen.”

“Fine.” Chan’s hands tighten against his hips. “If that’s really what you want.”

The bass pounds against Jeonghan’s temples when Chan kisses him. It’s not the first time they’ve done this. No, the first time it was Jeonghan eyeing Chan on the dance floor, catching his eye and leading him to a dark spot just like this. Whispering sweetly against Chan’s mouth, baby if it feels good, then it can’t be bad. The nearly imperceptible tremble in Chan’s shoulders when he breathed out in the space between them.

Jeonghan knew from the first time that he was already in too deep. The night club on the edge of the city is a place outside of time, their own private world. Whatever they are, it only exists here, in the dark.

Jeonghan winds his hands around Chan’s shoulders, slides his tongue into Chan’s mouth. They’re still moving to the music, or maybe creating a beat of their own. Chan’s hands move to his ass and Jeongha thinks of Chan on his knees, Chan’s lips stretched around his cock, the way his eyes shine when he’s dancing in front of strangers. He wants him in a way that always thrills down his spine. Hot and nauseating.

They should not be doing this. They cannot seem to stop doing this. Weeks into months of coming to the same club to kiss the same stranger. He wonders again if Chan is really supposed to be here. If he’s the only one craving something he’s not supposed to have.

Chan is the one to break the kiss, stepping back from Jeonghan while his fingers trail across his skin.

“You wanna fuck me right now.” Jeonghan fights back a shiver. Chan’s mouth grazes the side of his neck. “You want me.”

“I always want you,” is the truth that slips from Jeonghan unbidden. “Even though I shouldn’t.”

He can feel Chan’s smile against his neck, the thudding of his heart where they touch. This is the most honest he’s been with himself in a long time. They’re going to do this until they get caught, until they finally have to lie down in the bed they’ve made in the dark.

“Don’t tell me,” he says, voice so low Jeonghan almost misses it. “If you hate me.”

Chan walks back to the center of the dance floor. Jeonghan catches his wrist.

“I changed my mind. Let’s get a drink. See where the night takes us.”

Chan gives him a warm, dangerous look. The neon lights bleed across his face. Jeonghan wants him so much he can’t breathe. He fits their hands together and leads them toward the bar.

If it feels good, then it can’t be bad. Right?

T__T as 2017 world's biggest gyuhao stan this is so sad but believable... mingyu the idealist and minghao the fledgling who knows how he's changed and what he wants. this story works so well with the two of them and i really like the effective metaphors you chose to illustrate it. klav's comment on the 'same color' really highlighted how good that line is especially *___* the tone is just So Good... thank you for this!

i don't know how you do it but your writing is always so vivid and evocative of strong feelings, as immersive as life. there are so many lines that feel like a gut punch just when you think you're recovering.

“I’d never ask you to stay awake for me,” Mingyu said. / Mingyu would never ever stop being shattered by him. / “It’s too late,” Mingyu murmured, though it killed him to realize it again. / They hadn’t known about any of it. They hadn’t seen each other yet in every state of despair, elation, undress, humiliation, grace, love, too. Love, too. so powerful... thank you for writing this!

ahhhh, going INSANE. AHHH THIS LINE DID THINGS TO ME SOULLLLLL

Wonwoo should know better than to feed a dog he can’t keep.

[sobs] also this line omgggg

“Would those things have been the truth?” Mingyu asks.

[clenches fist] my favorite type of angst for sureeeee when /it hurts but they keep coming back for more because what is love if not a measure of who can hurt each other more/ OOF. so happy, eating well. thank you for writing!!!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 24 of 36

Round 1 2023: Quotes

Re: [FILL] what kind of love

Re: [FILL] what kind of love

Re: [FILL] what kind of love

Re: [FILL] among other things

Re: [FILL] do mi ti, why not me

if i could

Re: [FILL] lovey dovey on me

Re: All nature in confusion

Re: [FILL] your missed option

Re: [FILL] maybe it's too soon

Re: [FILL] the two of us are just young gods

Re: [FILL] burn it down

the sweet suffering

Re: [FILL] succession of shelters

Re: [FILL] sisyphean

Re: [FILL] burn it down

[FILL] i got nothing to lose

[FILL] you said love fills you up

Re: [FILL] i got nothing to lose

Molt

why did you let me speak?

[Fill] you wanna ____ me right now

Re: All nature in confusion

Re: [FILL] But nothing is like the heart of a person

Re: [FILL] do mi ti, why not me