Round 1 2023: Quotes

[hwarium]

Status: Closed This round has closed. It remains open for fills, comments and remixes, but prompts are no longer accepted. Seventeen Holidays Round 1: Quotes About "Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time." "How inconvenient to be made of desire." "It's me, hi, I'm the problem its me." Calling all readers, lovers of poetry and music, screen and stage. Quote collecters and lyric hoarders, unleash your archive. For this round, every prompt must contain a quote - you can combine them, add commentary, link to articles, do whatever. Steal from a literary classic, or copy WeVerse drama. 🛑 HOLD UP If this is your first time on 17hols please check out our About Page which contains helpful information and links to pages explaining dreamwidth and HTML. We are a prompting fest where all the action happens in the comment section. Rules Sign up is not required. Fills have a minimum of 400 words for prose, haiku-length for poetry (3 lines), and 400px by 400px for art (memes are also art). Other mediums are fine too! There is no maximum cap. Tag and provide content warnings at your discretion, but a good guide are the Ao3 four (Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage) and this list of common CWs (cr: SportsFest). NSFW/Explicit content should be tagged NSFW art should not be visible, please provide a link and a warning. You may crop the artwork and embed a SFW preview. How it works Prompting Click on [Post a New Comment] at the bottom of this post; Change the subject; Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment and edit the sections. Feel free to add as much detail as you want! Need ideas? Check out our 2021 and 2022 Quote rounds. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Do Not Wants:</strong> None <strong>Prompt:</strong> <blockquote>[QUOTE GOES HERE] </blockquote> Filling Reply to the original prompt; You must change the subject to [FILL] - this is to help the mods track. Feel free to add a title Copy+Paste the following HTML into your comment, edit the sections, and add your text. You may also upload your fill to the AO3 Collection. <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** Remixing Post as a reply to the fill you are remixing, using the same HTML as above; Change the subject to [REMIX]. Art/media Upload your work to any platform (twitter, imgur, youtube, soundcloud, google maps, etc.) Using the same HTML code as above, copy the link into your fill or remix. That's it! Optionally, you can embed a picture into your comment. Please use the following code instead. (To explain, the HTML resizes your picture to 400x400px so that it fits on most screens. Users can view the full size if they click on it. You can also add a link to your work on twitter so that others can share it, or to any other website you want) <strong>Ship/Member:</strong> Any <strong>Major Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Additional Tags:</strong> N/A <strong>Permission to remix:</strong> Yes/No/Please ask *** <img src="INSERT IMAGE URL" width="400px"> <a href="INSERT ANY URL YOU WANT">TEXT THAT DESCRIBES THE LINK</a> Note! On dreamwidth, you can't edit a comment once someone has replied to it. Navigation ABOUT FAQ CHAT BAITS ✧ FILLS ✧ < ROUND 1: QUOTES > ROUND 2: ALTERNATE UNIVERSES 2021 2022

Comments

Re: [FILL] - eye of the beholder

[bamboozled]

thank you!!!!

[FILL] i think maybe you’re lost

[shuamuses]

Ship/Member: seokmin/joshua
Major Tags: n/a
Additional Tags: alcohol mention, messy exes, long-suffering seokmin
Permission to remix: Yes

crossposted to ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43915278

***
when the sound of seokmin’s ringtone breaks through his sleep-haze he just about jumps out of his skin. the soft glow of the clock informs him of the time — he’d barely been asleep for two hours after stumbling home from the studio, with only the presence of mind to shovel a cup of instant ramen into his body and take a shower before he collapsed in bed.

he flips his phone over to glance at the screen, wincing at the light that blooms in the pitch-dark room. the accusing red icon stares back at him — five missed calls already. his exhaustion must’ve dulled the sound of the ringer. one finger twitches towards the blinking green button even as the annoyance rushes through him. seokmin hesitates — what good could come of this?

but his heart is soft, even now. even for him.

he was supposed to have blocked this number. he would’ve, if he was smarter. there were others he could call, anyway, if he needed help.

but if joshua really needed him, would seokmin be able to say no?

he sighs, knowing the decision was made the minute he’d read the name on the screen.

“seokmin-ah, you picked up!” joshua sounds almost disbelieving, effervescent. seokmin hates the way his voice still warms him from within.

“what do you want, hyung?”

“i missed you~ what were you doing?” his words are sliding against each other, enunciation gone to shit. a telltale sign he’s been drinking.

“seriously, it’s four in the morning. i thought you were dying or something, but this is all you called to talk about?” seokmin’s words are clipped, tight and level, every muscle in his chest tensed to keep everything he wants to be saying instead from spilling out.

“can i come over? make it up to you?”

“make it up to me?” his voice catches in his throat. “what exactly do you think you can do that would make things right again?”

“come on, babe. i miss you, and i’m sorry okay? you’re the only one for me.” his tone is cajoling, and seokmin can almost imagine the slow smile spreading across joshua’s lips.

the apology sinks in his chest like a stone. the wound, even unspoken, feels rubbed raw from the admission of guilt joshua had never deigned to give him when they’d broken up.

if joshua had said these words a month ago — if joshua had said these words sober, even now — seokmin might have taken it.

“fuck off,” seokmin’s voice is hoarse and strained, but even like this he can’t bring himself to shut the door entirely. “come back when you’re ready to be honest in the daylight.”

Re: [FILL] You reflect all the godlike

[sunwalkr]

THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD I AM SCREAMING… i am always in awe of how your mind works but especially in grafting such cool sinister and dark things / infusing them with heavy history and a little bit of blood in mouth as you tell the story… god wonwoo trying desperately to keep things neat while chan (chan!) the prodigal son comes back to fuck everything up (metaphorically? also literally?)

Wonwoo scoffs. “You’ve been listening to your father again.”

Chan shrugs. “Maybe I’m just in a melancholy mood,” he says. “There’s only so many times you can be told you’re a fuck up before you start to wonder.” There is so much history in here im dragging my hand down my face

do I contradict myself?

[arundels]

Ship/Member: Any (but please consider... Jeonghan...)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: what does it mean to know yourself, can you be and want two conflicting things at once, the unbearable cognitive dissonance of existence, to want but to not want to want
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love.

- 'Meditations in an Emergency', Frank O'Hara

&

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

- 'Song of Myself, 51', Walt Whitman

I'm a danger to myself

[arundels]

Ship/Member: Any (consider any of the 95z?)
Major Tags: implied suicide references in magnolia
Additional Tags: feeling like the bad guy, knowing you're out of control but not knowing what to do about it, freewheeling straight towards disaster
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

There's no way tonight, as far as I know
That heaven will take me, so I'm staggering home
Wretched and wild, all glory and trash
Yeah, I'm drunk but I'm ready to kick some fucking ass

- 'Magnolia', Gang of Youths

&

I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror
It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

- 'Anti-Hero', Taylor Swift

[FILL] But nothing is like the heart of a person

[surjamukhi]

Ship/Member: Mingyu/Wonwoo
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: Eternal Sunshine AU (with a bit of artístic license)
Permission to remix: Pls ask!


***


There was something cold and hard against his cheek. It reminded Mingyu of someone’s shoulder, but he couldn’t remember whose.

He opened his eyes. He was sprawled onto the floor of a hallway, his hoodie soaked through with rain. He tried to stand but he’d lost his center of balance. There was a key in his pocket which fit the lock of the door in front of him, so he dragged himself over the threshold and into a dim, cramped room with a ceiling glinting dreamily with lights from a mirrorball on the floor.

It took him a few seconds. He smelled stale cigarette smoke and then the memory hit him like a bullet in the back of the brain: where he was, who was waiting for him.

“It’s three in the morning,” Wonwoo said.

He was sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring down at Mingyu. There was no fondness in his gaze.

“I’d never ask you to stay awake for me,” Mingyu said. It came out hollow. It was like re-enacting a dream he’d believed he’d forgotten.

“Why would you do this?”

Now the memory was beginning to reassemble in earnest. It was strange how Mingyu couldn’t recall exactly what came before or after but he could remember how the way Wonwoo was sitting, slouched and overly casual, cheek resting on palm, was the same way he’d been sitting the first time he had made eye contact with Mingyu across a crowded room.

It had been oddly charming at first. How he seemed so taken with Mingyu that he needed to hide everything he felt.

“Why would you do this to me,” Wonwoo repeated, his voice cracking.

It was growing beyond the words they’d exchanged in the past. There were feelings, too: bitterness, regret, the fear of being left. The fear of having to leave. The first time he’d asked it, Wonwoo’s question had been about only that night. Now it could be the more general question of why Mingyu had decided to get a procedure to excise him from every memory. Why he would ever want to leave Wonwoo no choice but to excise him in return. Mingyu crawled over slowly across the carpet and rested his cheek on Wonwoo’s knees because he didn’t want to look at his face. The walls of their apartment were mostly bare in the memory. Wonwoo was already succeeding in forgetting, too.

“Because I was lonely,” Mingyu said. “Because you made me feel lonely even though I knew you loved me. I thought I could live with it at first. But I guess I wasn’t as strong as I figured.”

“I don’t know why I’m putting myself through this.”

“Me either.”

“So leave,” Wonwoo said.

Mingyu could tell he didn’t mean it. But there it was again, just like it had happened the first time.

Maybe it was a sign that things would always end this way no matter which alternate reality they remembered themselves into. Mingyu nodded and put his key on Wonwoo’s knee, his hand trembling so hard it rattled slightly against the ring.

“Goodbye,” he said.

But this time, he didn’t get to the door.


***


“You never tell me things,” he said.

They were on the couch he’d pulled in from the street sometime over the summer, he couldn’t recall when because he barely recalled the couch itself as a definite concept. His head was in Wonwoo’s lap, competing for space with a book. He smacked a kiss onto the back one of Wonwoo’s hands even though Wonwoo was too busy with his book to react.

“I feel like I don’t even know you.” He had known even back then that whining didn’t work with Wonwoo. Now he was beyond caring.“I wanted to know you so badly. Didn’t you want me to?”

“You knew me,” Wonwoo said absently, petting Mingyu’s hair with the hand he’d kissed. “Before you decided to erase me from your head.” He seemed to be unfairly at peace. Mingyu fake growled and shook his head like a dog. Wonwoo glanced down and finally smiled. Mingyu had really loved that smile. The way his nose scrunched.

“What did you like about me? I mean, why me?”

Wonwoo’s hand paused, then resumed its stroking. “I could ask you the same thing.”

“You already know. I’ve told you. But I never ever knew what you were thinking, you kept it to yourself.”

Wonwoo put the book to one side and looked down at him fully. His hand moved under Mingyu’s head, where it anchored itself, knitting into his hair.

“You read into everything,” he said lowly. “If I was quiet it didn’t mean I was trying to pick a fight with you. Or that I didn’t want to be near you. You should know this by now.”

His shirt was buttoned lopsidedly, he’d skipped one. The stick-and-poke Mingyu had given him on his hip was peeking out and his glasses were slipping down his nose. Mingyu would never ever stop being shattered by him. Wasn’t that the problem?

“I miss you,” Mingyu said. “I missed you even when I still knew you.”

The hand in his hair tightened. He exhaled; he couldn’t help it.

“Just talk to me,” he said.

Wonwoo didn’t pull away. He drew closer instead. Both their breathing had gotten a little heavy. Mingyu waited.

“Sorry,” Wonwoo murmured eventually, his gaze flickering from Mingyu’s mouth to his eyes. “I still don’t know what I could’ve said.”

He slackened his hand and moved it away. They watched as it rested on the couch, flexed hard into a fist, and let go.

Mingyu disentangled himself from Wonwoo and sat up. He tipped his head back and watched the colors swirl on the ceiling instead of leaving.

His knee touched Wonwoo’s. He focused on it. He would be gone soon from this part of Wonwoo’s head.

He was still there in the room watching the colors brighten, feeling a little floaty and unreal, when Wonwoo whispered up to the ceiling like a prayer to no one.

“Let me out. I don’t think I want this anymore. I still want to… I still want to… please, let me out—”


***



They were sitting behind a rain-spattered window, watching the city outside.

Everything felt like it was slow motion— the hazy headlights of cars, traffic lights blinking green, the glossy streets. Mingyu had watched a movie like this once. He didn’t think it ended happily.

Grainy images flickered past in washes of warm red light. Each a different memory, their supercut running backwards. Through all the ways in which Wonwoo could dismantle him, in which he could dismantle Wonwoo in turn by not staying Wonwoo’s hand, through long silences and loneliness even when they were in the same room, through fucking and being fucked, through looking at each other when people could see, through holding hands when people couldn’t, through the time Wonwoo had asked if Mingyu even liked him and Mingyu didn’t know how to convince him other than to tell him not to ever leave, ever, because he didn’t know what he’d be without him.

He tore his gaze away. Wonwoo was watching him. Just watching him, his eyes bright and sorry.

“Come on,” he said, nudging Mingyu’s ankle with his own.

He slid off his stool. Surprised, wary, grateful, Mingyu followed him into the next memory.


***



Rain finely misted his face. They were standing in an alleyway lit by paper lanterns bobbing in a storm.

“I can’t really remember this one,” Mingyu said.

A slight smile spread across Wonwoo’s face. “You asked if I wanted to run down the street with you in the rain. I said, who, me? And you said, no, the other person standing here with me.”

It was coming back now. Before, they had gotten wildly drunk together in the empty restaurant Mingyu worked in after he’d closed down. Wonwoo had fled soon with the excuse of needing a smoke. Mingyu listened to the Cocteau Twins on the jukebox and looked from inside, through the droplets trickling down the windowpane, at Wonwoo under an overhang across the street staring up at the rain with a dazed half-smile.

He looked so different when he didn’t know he was being watched. Mingyu had felt a sense of possibility so keenly that it was like tears building behind his eyes.

“It made you feel a little out of your depth,” he said. “The whole night. It was overfamiliar of me. I know I’m right because you still see it so clearly in your head.”

“But you tried to fix it.”

“Yeah. I smiled so you smiled too. And I got a little closer.”

They both hesitated. Wonwoo took the first step this time. Watching him from this close-up was still new. It was terrifying how there would always be more of a person left to learn. How two people could look at each other after years and find a small black hole at one another’s center. How memory could be so mistaken.

“And then…”

“And then I said, come on. I don’t bite.” Mingyu’s voice had dropped to a hoarse murmur. Wonwoo’s smile went a little crooked. It melted away soon as they both remembered what Mingyu had said next. It had been a joke with a hint of earnest the first time but was now only the second thing. “Unless you want me to.”

Wonwoo was closer than he’d dared to get the first time. Their noses brushed. Mingyu had thought back then, I’ll do anything you want me to. Even after everything, when Wonwoo’s hands gripped his wet jacket collar, he thought it again.

“After this,” Wonwoo said. His voice was too dry. He cleared his throat and his mouth ghosted against Mingyu’s. “I said I had work early in the morning. And I opened my umbrella, and I left.”

“What if you stayed?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”

There was an unwelcome twinge somewhere in his heart. He shook his head and stepped away from Wonwoo’s grip, out into the rain.

“I think about it, I think about it all the time. If things would have ended different then maybe we would’ve— why couldn’t you stay?”

“I was scared.”

“Fuck you,” Mingyu said. “I was scared, too.”

The rain was soaking his socks. He wanted to go home, but he was starting to forget what exactly that was.

“We’re going to forget this in five seconds,” Wonwoo said, sounding very distant, “but I want you to know that I would have really liked running through the rain with you. More than anything in the world.”

“It’s too late,” Mingyu murmured, though it killed him to realize it again.

Wonwoo’s expression crumpled. He stepped out from under the overhang to join Mingyu and tried to say something, but the street was already becoming a long river of black, and the lanterns were sputtering out.


***



The first time they had talked:

Another rainy night, a few drinks, small conversations between the two of them, prickly on both sides as they’d felt each other out.

Later Mingyu had been drunk by the side of the road, stumbling home. Their mutual friend, his designated driver, had left with someone else.

A motorcycle had pulled up to the curb. He remembered being annoyed that anyone could believe he wasn’t self sufficient. He didn’t need to depend on another person. But when the visor came down to reveal Wonwoo’s eyes, all of the bad feelings had simply evaporated.

Now he only felt a bone-deep exhaustion.

“I know I should’ve stayed,” Wonwoo said. “And I know I should’ve said that earlier. I don’t want to forget you. I really don’t want to forget.”

“We can’t stop it once it’s begun,” Mingyu said softly. “I know. I tried, too.”

It cracked Wonwoo open but he still said, desperately, “Then tell me goodbye properly. Please.”

Mingyu swiped the back of his hand across his mouth and nodded. He mounted the motorcycle and gripped Wonwoo’s narrow waist as he had done a thousand times before. He smelled Wonwoo’s aftershave and cigarette smoke and soju and felt that his heart might burst. They accelerated and the tunnel’s fluorescent greens and blues streaked into long columns of light. For a while he watched the back of Wonwoo’s head through his tears.

He was thinking about their past selves the first time they had lived this moment. That Wonwoo, that Mingyu.

They hadn’t known about any of it. They hadn’t seen each other yet in every state of despair, elation, undress, humiliation, grace, love, too. Love, too.

Mingyu rested his chin on Wonwoo’s shoulder. It was cold and hard, but he didn’t mind. Ahead of them the strips of lights began to blink off, one by one.

“I didn’t want to forget you either,” he said even though he knew Wonwoo couldn’t hear him over the rain. “It’s just that I needed to.”

[FILL] the signs and symptoms of

[tangerinekth]

Ship/Member: mingyu/minghao
Major Tags: major character death
Additional Tags: mentions of cancer, illness, heavy angst, established gyuhao, implied mcd
Permission to remix: please ask

***

"i'm sick," minghao states, closing the apartment door behind him.

"sorry, what did you say?" there's no glance up. mingyu's round eyes are locked on a recipe in a chinese cookbook, and minghao almost smiles at the sight of his fiancé trying to pronounce "zī rán yáng ròu" under his breath.

but he doesn't. instead, minghao sighs and tries again. "i just came back from the hospital." he places the pamphlets he was given by the doctor on the table. mingyu finally turns his head and looks at them. the cookbook falls out of his hands and the thump on the tile floor causes minghao's breath to hitch.

"hao, what is that?" said not because he doesn't understand, but because he refuses to. because despite having turned 25 last month, mingyu still sees the world through the bright and shiny eyes of a child. and the words, "LIVER PATIENT CANCER GUIDE" are not meant to be consumed by a child.

"i'm sorry," minghao says, eyes on the ground. "i'm sorry," he repeats. because he doesn't know what else to do than stand there as the foundation of the life he created collapses around him.

"this-this doesn't make any sense," mingyu stutters. he flips every page back and forth, scanning every word, every letter waiting for a mistake, an error. something that will scream at him that this is all a prank. because minghao can't be sick.

minghao can't be sick.

"you... you said your last doctor's appointment went fine. y-you said that today was just because they forgot something last time," mingyu chokes out, voice growing louder as his hands begin to shake. he doesn't mean to crumple the page labeled "SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS" in his hand. but he does and it tears, and the sound of paper ripping under mingyu's calloused hand will be ingrained in minghao's mind for the rest of his life.

"i lied. i shouldn't have. i'm sorry."

mingyu staggers like he's been shot as he moves to take a seat at the table. he buries his face in his hands and minghao thinks that he's going to scream. and when he does, this entire apartment building will crash down on them. the walls will fall on their heads, break their bones, strip their consciousnesses away, and it will no longer matter if there is a tumor in your liver or not. you will be dead and the causality will not be relevant.

"how far along is it?" mingyu asks in an almost whimper. minghao can hear the sobs sitting in his throat and sits next to him in an attempt to slow them down.

"stage two," minghao answers. "they said it's still early."

at this, mingyu's head pops up. he whips around to look at his partner and the hope in his eyes burns like a lantern in the darkness.

"so if you start treatment now, then there's a chance you'll be cured?" mingyu stands up and jets around their kitchen like a madman, rummaging through sticky notes and business cards until he finds what he wants and pushes it into minghao's hands. "jeonghan. your friend jeonghan. he's a doctor, right? have you spoken to him? maybe he can—"

"mingyu," minghao says. mingyu freezes, but his warm hands are still wrapped around minghao's, emanating heat like a furnace.

"what, hao?" and it's clear he wants to shout, to fight. yet he doesn't, because kim mingyu doesn't start arguments. especially not with people that he loves, or are dying, or both.

"just stop moving for a second, okay? fuck. i-i can't think," minghao pleads, suddenly out of breath.

he leaves for their bedroom. mingyu takes a deep breath before mustering the courage to follow him.

"i don't know what to fucking say right now other than i'm sorry and i love you, okay? i love you so fucking much and i still can't believe that this is real either. so just give me a second, okay?" minghao requests, pacing around the room.

mingyu hesitantly, but eventually nods. he knows minghao needs this and he will give it to him. but it's difficult to not overthink as he waits for minghao to be ready. he runs over a million scenarios in his head, looking for signs he missed, things he could have prevented. but he can't come up with anything. minghao is the healthiest person he knows. he exercises, goes on hikes, drinks herbal teas, doesn't smoke cigarettes, and the only alcohol he indulges in is a glass of red wine on date night.

minghao has done everything right.

yet minghao is sick. the tests don't lie and neither does minghao.

fuck, minghao is sick.

the reality is all-consuming, and mingyu feels light-headed again as he looks at his partner of six years. the urge to cry is back in full force again and mingyu cannot be blamed for the sniffles he makes as he tries to stop it.

but too late. his sad sounds catch minghao's attention and the younger is rushing to him. minghao's gentle hand on his back only makes it worse and mingyu begins to wail. minghao's only solution is to bring him closer, and hold him until mingyu finds the strength to embrace him as well.

"don't cry," he says in an attempt to soothe. mingyu makes a whining sound and shakes his head petulantly like a child. he retaliates by squeezing minghao against his chest until the only way they can be separated from each other is through surgical removal.

"why didn't you tell me?" mingyu sobs.

"i was scared," minghao admits, mind now more put together. "i didn't want it to be true. i didn't want you to know."

"minghao... i love you. you know i love you too, right?" mingyu asks in a cracked voice. "i care about you and i-i just want to be able to support you through anything you're going through."

"i know. i know," minghao tells him, guilty of doubting for a second otherwise.

"our wedding," mingyu gasps between tears, as another thought catches hold of him. "the money we saved, we can use it to pay for your treatment. i'll talk to our insurance company, and we can—"

"gyu," minghao interrupts again. because as much as he adores how much mingyu cares, he doesn't want to think about it right now. he wants to focus on this, them.

"hao," mingyu responds, tearing up again. he buries his face in minghao's neck and the younger can feel the teardrops leaving their marks on his skin.

minghao is the one closer to dying yet if anyone were to walk in right now they would assume mingyu is, with the way his sobs begin to cover minghao's quiet ones. but perhaps that is the reality. because before meeting mingyu, minghao had never had a good reason to wake up, and since mingyu was born, he has lived for the sake of love. and since minghao is that love, maybe mingyu is ill as well.

minghao finds he may be far sicker.

"i'm going to do everything i can to get better." the lamp light reflects off of the silver band on minghao's hand, and catches his eye. "and we're going to get married." he tastes salt on his lips, realizes he doesn't know when his eyes began to burn. "i love you so much, mingyu."

"i love you too, minghao," mingyu manages to get out. "i love you too." he kisses up minghao's neck until their lips meet, and mingyu's tears taste more bitter than minghao's own.

"we can make some calls tomorrow, okay?" minghao says when he pulls away, running his thumb over the apple of mingyu's cheek. because they still have time. if everything goes right, they can still have the forever mingyu promised minghao at the top of bukhansan mountain. the promise of always that is written in the vows sitting inside minghao's nightstand.

"i'll stay by your side forever, i promise you, hao," mingyu swears, pulling him in for another kiss. and it's so much like an "i do" at the end of the aisle that minghao cannot help but feel like maybe he and mingyu are already married. perhaps this is the closest they will get to forever.

because sometimes doctors are wrong.

sometimes treatments don't work.

sometimes people can be sick.

sometimes.

sometimes forever will not wait for you.

Re: [FILL] red, gold, and circles

[lightreframe]

i seriously love how u talk about ideas ur crazy about... like wtf is "competing for pole turns into a game of proximity" (positively). the crazy juxtaposition between wanting x person to stay as far behind u as possible and. yeah. whatever game f1 yjh and csc are playing.... @ god thank you for the people you send to earth

thank u for the enthusiasm genuinely. i do enjoy myself ess vee tee f1... and honestly their dynamics r really fun to play with in the context of the car racing thing... even tho im removing literally all the tenderness from classic Jeongcheol and just taking the evil part of them.

p.s: chan red bull does suit him sm imho... headstrong determination to stay in the business and all that

[FILL] blue hour

[fleurissons]

Ship/Member: Seungcheol/Soonyoung/Jihoon
Major Tags: Read A/N
Additional Tags: sci-fi; a gentle apocalypse; what becomes of the hero who loses their war, what becomes of the saviour who needs saving?
Permission to remix: Yes

A/N: please be advised that character death is up to interpretation, it depends on where you sit on the spectrum of optimism (haha.) if you have read "the ones we're meant to find" by joan he, the environmental catastrophe & corresponding solution are loosely inspired by the book!

dearest mods, entry for 3P rarepair pls <3

/

OFFICIAL MISSION COMMUNIQUE
CLEARANCE LEVEL: POSITIVE VETTING
LOCATION SENT: 37° 31′ 57.3600″ N and 127° 1′ 28.6032″ E (GEOGRAPHIC)
LOCATION RECEIVED: 11h 08m 08.0950s, −15° 00′ 43.213″ (EQUATORIAL J200)

General Choi,

I am writing to inform you that the Committee has unanimously approved Researcher Chwe Hansol's proposal. The Earth is due for another mass extinction event, a ball that had started rolling long before human civilisation set up camp. We may not stand a chance to stop it, but we may be able to fool the ball into thinking it has reached its destination.

Large-scale manufacturing begins tomorrow, with the latest estimated duration for complete rehabilitation being 526 years. We continue to hold out hope, though I suppose half a millennium of deep sleep is preferable to learning how to farm on extraterrestrial soil.

Cordially,
Jeon Wonwoo
New Eden Lab Director

/

At 0100 hours, Jihoon punched in the code to Seungcheol's cabin. The muted lighting that embraced him as he opened the door was reminiscent of the wintry landscape of Halmeoni's seaside town. He closed the door carefully and sought out Seungcheol’s whereabouts, finding him in seconds. His heartbeat was steady and strong, unmistakable.

“I must have looked awful, huh,” Seungcheol chuckled as Jihoon lay down behind him. “It usually takes a crisis to draw you away from your post, Lieutenant Lee."

Jihoon closed his eyes. The flashes visited him again, in their usual non-chronological fashion.

Seungcheol embracing Jeonghan in their training room. “Do you think I would ever let you fail?” Him telling Jihoon some months later: "I have Jeonghan and Joshua, they're enough." Joshua placing his packed bags between himself and Seungcheol; a barricade. His fingers intertwining with Jeonghan’s. “I need to go, Seungcheol. They're assigning me to one of the hospitals—I can do more down there.” Seungcheol nodding and turning to Jeonghan. “And you?” Jeonghan smiling. “I go where Joshuji goes.”

Wonwoo clasping Seungcheol’s shoulder so tightly his knuckles were ivory, an apology shining through his eyes. Seungcheol not saying I forgive you, but rather, “Be happier than everyone else down there.” Wonwoo joking, “I doubt tedious research would make me happy.” Seungcheol’s empty laugh. “It better, or I’ll take you back up myself. Take care of Hansol for me.” Wonwoo promising to do so.

Minghao’s radiation shield failing on a routine EVA, pushing him over the lifetime exposure limit in under a minute. The Committee refusing to send him back up ever again. Seokmin seething, tongue becoming a vicious lash, wielded in outrage. “You took everything away, with nothing to give in return.” His badge leaving a dent on the console. Agony tearing through Seungcheol, another limb ripped apart from his body.

When they first explored space in search of a new home, there were 13 of them. A decade and countless failed missions later, only half remained, barely a quarter of their initial determination. Most of it was Seungcheol’s.

"Tell me about Haeundae beach," Seungcheol requested gently.

He loved these anecdotes about the home he never knew, the home he never got a chance to experience. Unlike the others, Seungcheol had grown up inside the walls of the academy, born and raised to do one thing and one thing only. All he ever had, before they surrendered themselves to him, was the mission.

Jihoon had acquired important survival skills throughout his career, but refusing Choi Seungcheol wasn't one of them. Shifting closer, he began to describe Busan summers to the best of his recollection. The last time he went, his father had to park behind the perimeter set by the local council. The heavy metal ions concentration had exceeded category II of acute toxicity, the news warned. It was hard to believe those bleak reports when the waves' calming shade remained unchanging.

Seungcheol listened, attentiveness second to none. He'd cling to Soonyoung's story of the bunggeopang ahjussi the same way. Soonyoung's description of how the red bean filling would melt in his mouth always ended with Seungcheol kissing him deeply, as though doing so would allow him to taste what Soonyoung did.

"I’ll take you there," Jihoon promised. "When we wake up, the water will be clear and we can go for a swim."

He kissed Jihoon too. Not for a taste. For a victory in defeat.

/

OFFICIAL MISSION COMMUNIQUE
CLEARANCE LEVEL: POSITIVE VETTING
LOCATION SENT: 37° 31′ 57.3600″ N and 127° 1′ 28.6032″ E (GEOGRAPHIC)
LOCATION RECEIVED: 07h 15m 06.0960s, −20° 00′ 15.342″ (EQUATORIAL J200)

General Choi,

Two out of three pods in the pilot batch have failed to open on simulated release. The engineers haven’t been able to find the root cause and we have no time or resources to replace them at this stage. The Committee has decided to proceed with the existing limitations.

Please be advised of the next steps.

Travel safe,
Jeon Wonwoo
New Eden Lab Director

/

Like any other cadet, Soonyoung had a perpetual longing for home when he first started. He craved the feeling of his dobok against his bare skin. Wanted to have dirt under his fingernails again and feel the wind in his hair. Hell, Soonyoung even missed fighting for the TV remote with his noona.

Seungcheol’s spots were prime-time broadcast in the years leading up to Soonyoung's recruitment. The exact words used had since become a faded memory, but he recalled the visuals with perfect clarity. The spots showed Serenity first, the spaceship meant to take a highly-trained crew on a journey of finding Earth 2.0. Then they showed Seungcheol, its future captain. Bright-eyed and broad-shouldered, the poster child for hope.

The boy Soonyoung saw on the TV became a man, and the man his true north.

"1 hour to morning briefing," Soonyoung jostled Jihoon gently. He held his amusement at bay when Jihoon’s eyes immediately took to his perfected glare the moment they opened. "I'll ready the crew.”

Seungcheol's gravelly voice stopped him from leaving. "Soonyoung."

"Yes, General."

"If I wanted you to respond formally, I would have called you Lieutenant Kwon."

Seungcheol said nothing else, but Jihoon made an impatient sound as though Soonyoung was disobeying a direct order. “How much longer until you notice the space we made for you?” Soonyoung stared at their tangled limbs, a source of warmth in a numbing cluster. “We don’t have much time, Young-ah.”

That did it. Soonyoung walked over to the other side, seeking refuge under the covers Seungcheol raised to accommodate him. His fingers naturally found Jihoon’s, linked over Seungcheol’s hip. Soonyoung exhaled slowly.

They were allowed some momentary reprieves. The ozone layer started repairing itself. University researchers found a way to remove microplastics from the ocean using magnets. Tigers were taken off the endangered species list.

But those moments never lasted. Earth’s every attempt to sustain its existence was overthrown when humans continued to take at a faster rate than they replenished. None of these was Seungcheol’s fault, and yet—

“I’m sorry.”

“Never say that to me again,” Soonyoung chided. “Just take me home, will you? I want to see the others.”

Heartache claimed Seungcheol’s body, weary soul unravelling in between his last strongholds. “Jihoon—“

“Ironically, our first mission was also the last time I wanted to save the world.” Oh, what a grievous sin Jihoon just confessed. Breaking their investiture oath was a crime punishable by death. But Soonyoung understood; this, too, he would not hold against him. “From then on, I just wanted more time with you. I wanted more time with everyone—to keep going, doing what we’ve been doing. You gave me that.”

Jihoon stroked Seungcheol’s hair until the tidal waves retreated from shore. “Let's make the best of our final sunrise up here," he said softly. Seungcheol's dark, damp lashes swept over the purplish ring under his eyes. "What do you want to do?”

“Me?” pondered Soonyoung. “Go to sleep.”

His displeased punches were hard to take to heart when Jihoon was visibly smiling against the nape of Seungcheol’s neck. Shaking his head, Seungcheol covered their joined hands with his. They stilled, only moving again when he did; the moons orbiting around him.

“I love you." Seungcheol set his cheek against Soonyoung's. "I will love you," his fingers framed Jihoon's jaw reverently, "until the beginning reunites us.”

/

OFFICIAL MISSION COMMUNIQUE
CLEARANCE LEVEL: POSITIVE VETTING
LOCATION SENT: 37° 31′ 57.3600″ N and 127° 1′ 28.6032″ E (GEOGRAPHIC)
LOCATION RECEIVED: 17h 45m 40.0409s, −29° 00′ 28.118″ (EQUATORIAL J200)

Seungcheol-hyung,

You must've heard by now: Project Dangun has reached its final execution stage. Our preliminary data showed promising results, that full rehabilitation is feasible once we remove ourselves from the equation. But hope is a tiny spark, so easily extinguished. 526 years is a long time. The pods' failure rate remains an unsolved problem.

Seokmin took me to our old barracks to clear my head. He’s been taking care of the olive tree you planted behind the mess hall; it has grown almost as tall as Mingyu. Even now, time and space apart, you still give us the best gift of all: reassurance.

Per your request, we have prepared three model IX pods at the Seoul facility. When, if ever, the probes decide the Earth is inhabitable once more, these pods have been assigned to open first, and together.

It is time to come home. We will be waiting.

Your dongsaeng,
Jeon Wonwoo

even occasional greatness will destroy a man

[svteen]

Ship/Member: Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent. It depends in part on the myth-making imagination of humankind. The person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth he is in. He must reflect what is projected on him. And he must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples him from his own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits him to move within himself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a man.

—Frank Herbert, Dune

Re: [FILL] the two of us are just young gods

[hyojungss]

this is incredible omg, there are so many lines that are really powerful.
“Ah, Seungcheol,” he says in a drawl that always precedes his sharpest words. “We’re not really gods.” and It didn’t start like this. At the beginning it was blurry but absolute, and Seungcheol plunged headfirst. Only later did he realize his lungs had filled with water. and When he reemerges, the sun has slipped beneath the horizon, leaving Seungcheol in the afterlight of its death. Until the next day, when it will rise again, and again, and again. and more.

i love how this is all about how imperfect they are and yet how unequal the dynamic is between seungcheol and jeonghan and how that's inherent because of the types of people they are, the one that openly needs support and touch, and the one that hides his true desires behind facades, that it's not something that will change so easily. and this seungcheol will still be drawn to this jeonghan in that cyclical, self-sabotaging way.

At least back then, they were the same. and how when you're young you don't know anything and you haven't figured out boundaries and you just satisfy your needs as best you can and how the effects of that continue to impact your relationships moving forward

moebius strip

[corar]

Ship/Member: Jihan (but I am also open to any other pairings)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: MCD, Noncon

Prompt:

You live inside me, the same way I live inside you. A moebius strip, a snake always swallowing its own tail. Mutually assured destruction, maybe, or mutual deification. Mutual consumption. I will be the house that holds every part of you.

― mabel martin

Re: [FILL] But nothing is like the heart of a person

[klav]

it’s not even sunrise and I’m sitting in a train station with tears blurring the screen, so I apologize if this comment is all over the place. but my god, ki. fuck. your prose just cleaves right through a person, every time. it took a moment to figure out this version of eternal sunshine, to understand what was happening to Mingyu and Wonwoo, what they were doing to themselves. it’s stunning character work and really gorgeous imagery. the lights, the rain, the cold apartment — they felt real. the way you integrated that recent interview quote “thank you for the love that never makes me feel lonely”… and the Elaine Castillo with It was terrifying how there would always be more of a person left to learn. How two people could look at each other after years and find a small black hole at one another’s center. How memory could be so mistaken. (what LINES!!!) … and the aesthetics of bittersweet… everything’s woven together so tightly, so expertly. also, “I was scared.” / “Fuck you,” Mingyu said. “I was scared, too.” wow this hurts ;___; love how it’s a little hypocritical, how Wonwoo could easily turn around and say this to Mingyu for choosing to forget first. even though they both made that choice in the end. and both regretted it! ouch!!! I keep reading this and rereading this and feeling it in my whole body. thank you so so much.

Re: [FILL] blue hour

[lightreframe]

firstly: vee leaderline *standing ovation*
secondly: this was my prompt. (paul guest poems really give me so much Something) so i can be crazy about this

one thing that ive always treasured about your writing is your way to just. say things without saying them but in a way which you can feel it in the atmosphere... it is really amazing how (When, if ever, the probes decide the Earth is inhabitable once more, these pods have been assigned to open first, and together.) tells a person so much: the idea that csc wants them to be together at the end of the world, that is together and safe... as usual, i will lose it. "I will love you," his fingers framed Jihoon's jaw reverently, "until the beginning reunites us.”

your imagery is breathtaking. (Jihoon stroked Seungcheol’s hair until the tidal waves retreated from shore.) i feel like i just got punched in the stomach... also (He'd cling to Soonyoung's story of the bunggeopang ahjussi the same way. Soonyoung's description of how the red bean filling would melt in his mouth always ended with Seungcheol kissing him deeply, as though doing so would allow him to taste what Soonyoung did.) broke me.

lastly. i also really love wonwoo's character in this: general choi in the first two letters and "seungcheol-hyung" + "your dongsaeng" in the last.. like he knows how personal this is to csc. a personal request. a personal message... god. i swear, your storytelling is brilliant. thank you for this <3

[lachrymosy]

Ship/Member: Any (but consider: wonhui!)
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: N/A
Do Not Wants: None

Prompt:

我肯定在幾百年前就說過愛你
只是你忘了　我也沒記起

Hundreds of years ago, I surely said "I love you"
It’s just that you forgot and I don’t remember

– 愛人錯過 (Somewhere in time) by 告五人 Accusefive

&

In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.

– Everything Everywhere All At Once

Re: All nature in confusion

[furniished]

sob sob sob emoji thank you sm!! i was overwhelming myself writing this one so i really appreciate your kind words + reading :')

Re: [FILL] i will have you know – my swan song will not be my last

[hyojungss]

so sad.... and you get the sense that mingyu never could have got what he wanted once he'd made the damning decision to get engaged to someone else, so why even call minghao up after that? because he's kim mingyu... minghao saying he's too impressionable and mg subsequently choosing to read deeply into mh's words and ask for an answer that wouldn't have changed anything thanks to his own mistakes!! mingyu who doesn't have too much pride to beg to get back together and minghao who i think is too pragmatic and grounded for the drama of getting back with your engaged ex... "It was even worse, knowing what you wanted but knowing it was never possible the way you dreamed it to be." it's so frustrating but in a way that's so well written. so good! that imagery of mingyu calling over and over and the phone just being left to ring is haunting

Re: [FILL] the kwonfession (untrademarked)

[lightreframe]

thank you really... i appreciate it a lot!!! seoksoon are very sweet to me .....

Re: All nature in confusion

[klav]

Oooohhhhh this is so good… How do two people know that they’re looking at the same color, just because they both give it the same name? love how this contextualizes their relationship… how maybe they’re not all that similar, they just WANT to be, and the slow realization that that ideal looks different for both of them. Setting this during alternate contract renewals is extra painful T___T what a good achey gyuhao! thank you!!

Re: [FILL] hollow

[klav]

He is not, and he is not, and he is not, on and on down the line. Oh!! what an incredible and skillful character study. thank you for this lovely, lovely Jeonghan <3

transport me out of my mind

[hoshism]

Ship/Member: Chan/Any
Major Tags: N/A
Additional Tags: first time/sexual exploration perhaps?
Do Not Wants: dubious consent/noncon/etc

Prompt:

I’m what you need, I’m what you want
You feel like love at the right time
Cool breeze on a hot night

Come to me, I’ll love you, love you
Oh Come to me, I’ll lay you down
Come to me, I’ll love you, love you
Oh Come to me, I’ll lay you down

— 1-800-MLKYWAY, Rakiyah

[FILL] a bleeding, loyal heart

[seokmin_liker]

Ship/Member: Junhui/Minghao
Major Tags: explicit sexual content, minor character death
Additional Tags: royalty AU, junhui is a mercenary, non-linear narrative, once again nj writes about falling in love with the person you have to kill
Permission to remix: please ask

[1/2]

Junhui rolls over. Minghao is peacefully asleep next to him. The room is silent, save for the gentle sound of his breathing, steady and quiet. A sheet covers most of his slender body, coming up to the middle of his torso. Minghao’s skin is soft and clear, save for the wine-coloured marks Junhui sucked into his neck and collarbone not even an hour ago.

Part of Junhui wants to do it all again. He can feel the warmth radiating from Minghao’s lithe body, and he wants to put his hands on him again. He wants to take some of that warmth for himself, to run his fingers over Minghao’s chest and hips and thighs, to make Minghao come again and again.

But Junhui knows he shouldn’t. There’ll be no better time than this. Minghao is asleep, peaceful, and totally unaware of his sword gleaming in the corner of the room. Now is the time to act.

He slips out of bed, the chill stinging his feet. Carefully, he makes his way over to the corner of the room where Minghao’s sword stands. The royal sword. Junhui’s hands aren’t worthy of it, not for this. And yet use it he will. He has been given a job to do, after all. No bed, no body, is more important than his task.

He unsheaths the sword gently, not even daring to breathe as he does it. It’s heavy, but it sits well in his hand, and it has a sharp beauty in the glow of the candlelight. It’s a beauty befitting Minghao, Junhui thinks—cold, austere, and yet somehow radiant.

Junhui doesn’t want to think too much.

He slowly makes his way over to the bed. With each step, he takes a shallow breath. Now is not the time for nerves, and yet the thumping of his heart rings louder the closer he gets to Minghao. His shadow casts a gloom over the room, and Junhui wishes it didn’t. He wishes he wasn’t there, and that he could just lie next to Minghao and think of nothing but how to wake him up in the morning and of running his tongue over Minghao’s teeth but he’s already there, he’s at Minghao’s bedside, and he’s taking a shaky breath and holding the sword over the body that he has taken apart so often and he’s just about to drive it home and then-

Minghao’s eyes open.

***

It started with a mission. Renjun’s kingdom and Minghao’s kingdom had had a rivalry for goodness-knows-how long and for goodness-knows-what reason. It was nothing to do with Minghao, the fairly recent king. Nor was it anything to do with Junhui, a lowly mercenary with nothing better to do than risk his life trying to kill Minghao. But that was just the way it was.

Which was why Junhui stood before Minghao and his courtiers, using his best acting skills.

“Your Majesty,” he said, “I am a tax administrator fleeing from the kingdom of Renjun. They are persecuting me for speaking ill of the king, even though I know of the atrocities the king has committed here. I have heard of your generosity, and I’m seeking refuge here. Even if you can only have me for a few days, I would be grateful. It would mean that Renjun’s soldiers would lose track of me.”

Minghao was impossible to read. Cold and sharp as a blade. And yet, as Junhui kept talking, he couldn’t help but think that Minghao was starting to soften. Minghao was renowned for his compassion to the downtrodden, whether from his own kingdom or from others, and it made him a popular and respected king.

Junhui felt a little bad that he was taking advantage of such uncommon kindness. But only a little bad. A job is a job.

“My friend, anybody fleeing tyranny is welcome here. Since you are in need of special protection, I could find a room in the palace for you. You are welcome to stay as long as you need until you can find a place to go and establish yourself.”

Something warmed in Junhui’s blood. This was it. The first stage of the plan was complete.

“Thank you, your Majesty,” Junhui replied, bowing. “I am eternally grateful for your kindness.

Minghao nodded. The faintest of smiles graced his handsome face, as he beckoned a maid to lead Junhui to his room.

Now all Junhui had to do was get close enough to Minghao to kill him.

***

Junhui freezes. Minghao wasn’t supposed to wake up. But now his eyes are open, moving from the tip of the blade up to Junhui’s face.

“Oh,” is the first word Minghao utters.

“Minghao,” Junhui replies breathily.

Minghao sighs. It gets Junhui’s hand trembling. For some reason, despite the position he’s in, Minghao seems unperturbed. It’s as if he wakes up every morning with a blade pointed at his chest. He doesn’t look at all surprised.

Why doesn’t he look surprised?

Junhui doesn’t have time to think about it. The next thing he knows, he’s being kicked in the chest. He yelps in shock as his head slams against the floor. The sword clatters somewhere beside him, but Minghao is quick to grab it, pointing it at his torso.

“What?” Minghao asks cruelly. “You think I don’t have spies? I know who you are, Junhui. I’ve known for a while.”

***

“Do you always spend this long talking to the strangers who seek refuge with you?” Junhui asked one night.

Minghao smiled. “Only to the interesting ones.”

This was the third night in a row that Junhui had spent staying up with Minghao and talking. It usually started with Minghao asking about Renjun’s kingdom, about what it was like to live in such a repressive place and whether Junhui knew anything about their defence strategy. But Junhui was good at deflecting, so they’d talk about other things too, things that Junhui wasn’t entirely sure he should know about a king like Minghao.

Kings shouldn’t be unsure of themselves, should they? They should be strong and majestic, all the time. There’s no room for hesitancy, not when there are pressing matters to attend to. And yet Junhui knew about Minghao’s doubts, about his concern he wasn’t doing well enough, about his fear that he couldn’t repel Renjun. Why did Junhui know all of this? Because he was interesting?

“So you think I’m interesting?” Junhui replied, raising an eyebrow.

“That much was obvious, wasn’t it?”

Junhui shrugged. “Part of me was wondering whether you were just using me for information about Renjun.”

Minghao opened his mouth, as if about to speak, then sighed. “Maybe initially,” he admitted, “but- well. You’re nice to talk to, Junhui.”

“You’re a king, Minghao. There must be no shortage of people you talk to.”

“Not like with you. It’s hard, when you’re a king. You have to be careful with who you trust, who you share with.”

“And that’s why you’ve chosen a near-stranger?”

“You haven’t given me reason to doubt you so far. Will you?”

Junhui’s heart lurches. This is the man he’s meant to kill—the man who thinks Junhui’s the only one he can talk to. Junhui wants to do nothing of the sort. He wants to keep being trusted by Minghao, he wants to stand over him and shield him from harm. Minghao’s too good to die like this.

And yet, this is what he has to do.

“Of course I won’t,” Junhui lies.

A job is a job. Junhui just wonders if it’s worth it.

***

“Minghao, please,” Junhui begs, “I can explain this.”

“Explain what? The lying, the cheating, the attempt to murder me? I’d like to see you try.”

“You think I wanted this? I’m just doing a job, I didn’t want it to turn out this way.”

“But you didn’t stop it. If it’s just a job to you, you could have found a way out. But for some reason, you simply had to betray me.”

“Minghao, wait-”

“Although you didn’t betray me, I suppose. You can’t betray anybody. You can’t betray someone for whom you have no loyalty, and mercenaries aren’t loyal to anybody.”

“That was uncalled for. I may be a mercenary, but my heart beats like yours does.”

“Does it? You tried to murder me in my own bed, after… after we…”

Junhui swallows. Minghao’s right, of course.

“And that’s the most cowardly thing about you,” Minghao continues. “Being a mercenary is excusable. But using me the way you did? That was cowardly. You could have faced me properly, like a warrior. But you chose to do it this way.”

“I didn’t always plan for it to be like this, you have to know that.”

“You weren’t planning on abusing my generosity?”

“I- well- not in the way that I did. I admit, the refuge thing was a ruse, but I never intended for it to… progress quite this far.”

Minghao scoffs.

“Besides,” Junhui bursts out, “you’re the one that started it!”

“What?” Minghao snaps. “Are you a child? Is that the best excuse you have?”

“Well- it’s only because-”

“What difference does it even make if I started it? You nearly finished it—whatever it is—all for a job. Didn’t you? You couldn’t bend even a little, even for me, could you?”

Junhui doesn’t know what to say. It sounds stupid when put that way—that Junhui would throw it all away for a job. But what is it? What even is it that they have?

***

Whatever it is, Minghao did start it. He was the one who said they should practise their swordfighting form together. Junhui agreed, even though there were probably a million other people Minghao could have asked.

Even so, they went to a room and practised with wooden swords. They corrected each other’s form and showed each other different techniques, and it occurred to Junhui that he had missed this. He had missed having a partner to practise with, someone who could read him and challenge him and get him to do his best. Since he had joined the army, he was trained to view everyone as an enemy, but that wasn’t what he really wanted. What he wanted was to be better. He wanted technical perfection, and he wanted a comrade to help him get there.

Minghao wasn’t a comrade. He couldn’t be. If all went to plan, he would die by Junhui’s sword. But that didn’t matter in this duel. In this duel, the clashing of the swords was just a beat to time their dance with each other. Where one went, the other followed. Evenly matched, the duel went on and on, and Junhui had to give it his all. This was what he wanted. This was what made his blood run through him.

“Junhui,” Minghao called, pulling Junhui from his reverie, “you seem a little distracted today.”

“What do you mean?” Junhui asked.

Minghao didn’t reply. Instead, in a few clever moves, he managed to disarm Junhui, knocking him to the floor. With his wooden sword pointed at Junhui’s chest, he knelt over him until their faces were just inches away from each other.

“See what I mean? Distracted,” Minghao said, barely more than a whisper.

Minghao’s breaths ghosted over Junhui’s face. Beads of sweat dripped down his face and neck, and before he could stop himself, Junhui wiped some sweat from Minghao’s temple with the pad of his thumb.

“What was that?” Minghao asked.

“You- you’re sweating, your Majesty.”

“Junhui. Look me in the eye.”

Junhui did as he was told. There was something inscrutable in Minghao’s gaze.

“You really are distracted, aren’t you?” Minghao said.

“How do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. I’ve seen the way you look at me sometimes, Junhui.”

Junhui didn’t know what this meant. “How do you mean?”

“You should know. You must have seen me looking back.”

Junhui closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. The air smelled of sweat and salt and Minghao in the midst of it all.

“Your Majesty, what are you trying to say?”

Minghao moved the point of the wooden sword from Junhui’s chest to his chin, keeping Junhui’s head tilted up.

“You can call me Minghao, you know.”

“Minghao… I don’t-”

“Come on, Junhui. You can work it out.”

A lot of words, but not much action. Junhui decided to make the move. He moved a hand to the nape of Minghao’s neck, trying to pull him down. Minghao threw the wooden sword to the side, moving down easily until their lips connected. Their lips were dry, but that didn’t stop Minghao sighing into the kiss like he’d been waiting for years. They kept going until Junhui’s leg was wrapped around Minghao’s hips and they were rutting desperately against each other.

“Wait,” Minghao gasped as they broke apart, “we should probably go somewhere else. Somewhere we won’t be found.”

Junhui nodded, too dazed to even speak.

And that was how Junhui ended up in Minghao’s bed for the first time, nipping gently at Minghao’s earlobe, hands running down Minghao’s arms. He moved away to just look at Minghao. His face was red, his chest rising and falling with each panting breath. But for once, he didn’t look as stern or impassive as usual. Under Junhui, he looked more delicate, more glass than metal.

Junhui dipped down to kiss Minghao again, gentle and slow. Minghao gripped tight onto Junhui’s shoulder and whimpered, moaning louder as Junhui made his way down his jawline, his neck, his collarbone. When Junhui bit down, Minghao gasped and held onto Junhui even tighter. Junhui licked and sucked at Minghao’s nipples, and Minghao groaned, his eyes screwed shut as if he couldn’t even bear to keep them open.

Junhui ran his hands and tongue all over Minghao’s skin. At that moment, it was all his. No swords to think of, no kingdoms to protect. It was just them, just Minghao writhing under Junhui’s gentle touch. He gripped Minghao’s hips, licked the head of Minghao’s cock, looking up at him as he did. Minghao groaned, low and loud, tightening his fingers in Junhui’s hair as Junhui bobbed his head up and down.

Junhui looked up at Minghao whenever he could. This wasn’t Minghao the king, this was Minghao the man, surrendering his body to a man he barely knew. As Minghao’s orgasm drew closer, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes tightly closed, Junhui couldn’t help but think that this was enough for him. Why spill Minghao’s blood when he could have his whole body?

Minghao came into Junhui’s mouth, limbs covered in a sheen of sweat, glowing and panting as Junhui came back up to kiss him. He was beautiful. Junhui had always known that, but now that he was underneath him and at his mercy like this, it was all the more clear.

[FILL] a bleeding, loyal heart

[seokmin_liker]

[2/2]

He’s beautiful now too, towering above Junhui with his lips pursed. He hasn’t finished Junhui off yet, even though he’s had plenty of time to. It gives Junhui longer to look at him, at his practised grip of the sword, at his lean arm stretched out ready for the kill.

“Junhui. You haven’t answered me. Why does it matter who started it?”

Junhui looks him square in the eye, trying to seem braver than he is. “It doesn’t, not particularly. What matters is now. This meant something to you, right? I meant something to you, didn’t I?”

Minghao’s grip on the sword is steady, but he looks away from Junhui for the briefest of seconds.

That’s the only answer Junhui needs. Because the truth is, he feels the same. He had Minghao totally defenceless a few minutes ago, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Somehow he knew that Minghao was different, that he was worth more than that.

“Well,” Junhui continues, voice steady, “let me offer a compromise.”

“Compromise? You nearly killed me, and now I could kill you any second. What makes you think you can bargain with me?”

“You haven’t killed me yet, have you? You could have. If you think my offer too poor, you could just, well, finish the job.”

“Oh, Junhui. You think I need your permission to kill you?”

“You don’t seem able to do it otherwise. Hear my offer. You know that Renjun wants you gone, so I could help you. I’m the closest you have to a double agent. I could help you, I could keep you out of harm’s way.”

“And what do you get return?”

“Refuge. Protection from Renjun’s agents. And-”

Junhui breaks off. He can’t finish with what he really wants from Minghao.

“And?”

“That’s all. We can look out for each other, hunt for one another. Doesn’t that sound fair?”

Minghao bites his lip.

“And,” Junhui carries on, “if you want, I can prove myself to you, just to show that I am sincere in my offer. Give me a few days and I will do it.”

“You’re that willing to switch allegiances? Why?”

“I have my reasons for my offer, just like you have your reasons for accepting it.”

Minghao raises his eyebrow. “Who says I accept?”

“Well,” Junhui replies, “you haven’t killed me yet.”

***

It has been two days since Junhui and Minghao made their compromise. Now, Minghao is staring at the dripping body Junhui has dragged into the courtyard, and the trail of blood behind them.

“This,” Junhui pants, “is me proving myself to you.”

Minghao blinks. “Who is this?”

“Look at the letter in his robe pocket.”

Minghao fishes out the letter. Mercifully, it isn’t stained with blood, so he can read what it says. Junhui watches as Minghao’s eyes travel across the page.

“A contact from Renjun’s kingdom… and you’ve killed him.”

Junhui nods. “Hopefully nobody will miss him for a few days. If anyone asks me, I can write back saying I haven’t seen him, and that he must have been caught out by one of your guards.”

“Junhui… you did this for me? Now you’re in even more danger-”

“Which is where your part of the deal comes in. You need to protect me, the way I have protected you.”

Minghao nods, not taking his eyes off the body. Junhui can feel some of the blood drying on his hands. It’s worth it, though. Any amount of blood is worth it. If it keeps Minghao looking like this, safe and handsome and his, Junhui will do it a thousand times over.

“So, you accept? You acknowledge that I have proven myself to you?”

“When you stated your conditions, you said you wanted refuge, protection, and something else. What was the third thing? What else did you want?”

Minghao is still looking at the body. Junhui can’t have that. He walks over to Minghao, tipping his chin up. Minghao’s eyes are soft, sunlight on a river, and that’s all Junhui needs. He cups Minghao’s cheek and kisses him, tender and short.

“I think you know what I want.”

Minghao says nothing. He just smiles, not caring about the bloodstain on his cheek.

Re: [FILL] warm enough here for you

[seokmin_liker]

i'm going to yell into the sun. just to let you know

Re: [FILL] the view of you

[seokmin_liker]

oh my goddddd this is insane. this dynamic is Wow. and yeah seokmin in football kit :') thank you for this